Christian attitude to bullying

[Liz01]

I have heard lately about bullying in many places, but when i think about what ppl should do to it, i strugle with that because i have heard that the best attitude for bullying is a kick or fight but in bible talks about to put the other cheek when someone slaps you (Luke 6:29) what probabile make worse the bullying and maybe will damage a person, so....

what is the best attitude that we as grown christians should have to face the bullying?

what attitude we should teach to our children as christians to face the bullying?

[wyler]

Bullies are themselves victims of bullying, often at the hands of someone they should have been able to trust implicitly, like a parent. That is what children need to be taught, and once they can understand why it happens they can deal with it effectively.

However every person is different and some bullies can be befriended, though not easily, and eventually get control over their anger and establish better relationships.
Others need to be confronted and challenged and made to understand that their violence will be met by someone who won't back away from them, so maybe there does need to be a fight, but it will be their last fight because knowing that the violence won't work anymore they too will begin to look for other ways, and that is when they can be guided by a Christian.

[keep_on_smiling]

Bullying is such a hard thing for me to see or hear about. I have seen it all growing up and now as someone working in the schools, I see it almost daily. In the schools and outside of school it can't be tolerated. Children are usually held accountable in the sense of detention ect. I think the most important thing to remember is that when dealing with a bully you need to show love and as a teacher make them think about their actions. As already mentioned for those that bully, they typically have been bullied and most likely don't know what love is.

It makes me sick to think about the victims of bullying. I would first of all make sure my child was safe. I plan on being completely honest with my own children. Let them know that the Lord their God is greater than any bully. I will make sure they understand that sometimes people (the bully, in this case) do things for many reasons most can't understand; that they have problems. I will tell them that they don't know the Lord and that hopefully someday that will change.

Keep open communication with your children, show them that you love them, make them comfortable enough to tell you when issues come up.

I would then share with them scriptures from the bible. (I would be doing this for my children whether they were bullied or not)

Romans 12:19-20
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? ..

[FSUBoy966]

The above two posts are cute and nice, and in a perfect world, sure, but in most cases, there's NO dealing with bullies. Unless you somehow stand up to your bully and beat the crap out of him, he's not going to stop unless he's kicked out of school, which is what needs to happen.

[wyler]

Originally Posted by FSUBoy966

The above two posts are cute and nice, and in a perfect world, sure, but in most cases, there's NO dealing with bullies. Unless you somehow stand up to your bully and beat the crap out of him, he's not going to stop unless he's kicked out of school, which is what needs to happen.

It is possible to state your own opinion without disrespecting those of others.

[FSUBoy966]

Originally Posted by wyler

It is possible to state your own opinion without disrespecting those of others.

I'm just saying man... There's been an epidemic of kids literally KILLING themselves b/c of how bad they're being bullied, and the bullying continues. I don't think these kids care what the Bible says or about building relationships when they continue after people off themselves b/c of how badly they're treated...

[wyler]

Originally Posted by FSUBoy966

I'm just saying man... There's been an epidemic of kids literally KILLING themselves b/c of how bad they're being bullied, and the bullying continues. I don't think these kids care what the Bible says or about building relationships when they continue after people off themselves b/c of how badly they're treated...

I understand all that and I agree wtih you to a point, that in some cases buliies must be met toe to toe and dealt with harshly for the protection of others, but not all bullies are at the extreme end and there are sometimes other ways that with perseverance can be effective.

That discussion aside I just mean to point out that you can say anything you wish and I'll respect it, just please don't refer to my opinion or anyone elses as being suitable only in a 'perfect world', it makes it seem to other readers like we are somehow naive simply for not agreeing with you, and as I said, that's disrespectful and unneccesary.

[djness]

I was bullied alot growing up same with my brother, and we were not little runts or anything. Inf act some of the youtube videos you see lately its even smaller kids bulliyng bigger kids. I just didnt fight back.

Something in my brain could not understand why people picked on me when I had not done anything to them, and doing the same to other people didn't occur to me. It just didn't make sense that people wouldn't leave eachother alone. All that got me was being 30 and still bitter and resentful towards people that hurt me for no good reason, and on top of that I am the one who is sinning by being angry....double whammy right? People hurt me ands make me bitter, and its a sin before God that way. Lose and lose as a christian. Its also just affected my adult life and how I react to people.

I was raised in the church and I gotta say I think the whole turn the other cheek thing.....I don't see how it is helpfull. I have only maybe ONCE in my life seen an instance were not responding in kind made the other person change their aggresive behavior.

I would love to know where the line is between turn the other cheek and the old testament, kill any man that looked at you funny.

If I have any kids they are going to be taught to walk softly and carry a mean right hook.

Also since the bible is written to us in a different time were social nuances mean different things. Interpretation of this particular verse sheds a little more light.

self-defense and turning the other cheek

[keep_on_smiling]

Originally Posted by FSUBoy966

The above two posts are cute and nice, and in a perfect world, sure, but in most cases, there's NO dealing with bullies. Unless you somehow stand up to your bully and beat the crap out of him, he's not going to stop unless he's kicked out of school, which is what needs to happen.

FSUBoy966: I understand where you are coming from. Bullies DO need to be dealt with and I think that standing up to someone can be done by seeking help from others. In the moment I don't see anything wrong with self defense obviously, but beyond that fighting is only going to cause more fighting. Why not try to end it so that they are getting help?

When I talked about scriptures, I am thinking more like showing them to my kids in general, not as some way to justify what has been going on. I think that scriptures can help a child understand that God WILL in fact take care of all ways that they have been wronged.

It is so sad that children and even adults take their lives because of bullying, that is just awful. A person should not bring another to such a thing. I feel like the only way I personally got through school with bullying and such was my love for God. My relationship was so strong with Him, it helped me to see others in a different way. So I do understand and can agree with you to some extent, BUT I know the other way works as well and it's not a perfect world.

[Brandon777]

Originally Posted by wyler

Bullies are themselves victims of bullying, often at the hands of someone they should have been able to trust implicitly, like a parent. That is what children need to be taught, and once they can understand why it happens they can deal with it effectively.

Not true. I knew a bully that was never bullied. Also to answer the question. The Holy Bible, and Jesus' answer is good enough for me. If you want to change what the Holy Bible clearly says, that's not really okay, if you call yourself a Christian. Anyway if I were faced with a bully I would let them beat me up and I would tell them, while they're doing it that God loves them anyway. They wouldn't understand that, and it would be a very strong witness for Christ. Plus if it's in a school you'd be in trouble like them if you do anything but that, apart from physically running away. I think If my life were in danger and running were an option that would also be wise.

[FSUBoy966]

I have too much of an instinct for self preservation lol I wouldn't allow them to just attack me, especially if it's brutal and/or lethal. I'd definitely fight back in self defense.

[wyler]

Originally Posted by Brandon777

Not true. I knew a bully that was never bullied

Yes it is true, I wasn't making a guess, I have had significant contact with bullies of the physical and emotional types and all of them had similar abuse in their past at the hands of others.

I didn't say 100& of bullies have been bullied themselves, it was just a general statement.

What if the bully is a girl, should i beat living day life out of her one day?

PS: pointless question, just asking

[FSUBoy966]

Originally Posted by Tobby17

What if the bully is a girl, should i beat living day life out of her one day?

PS: pointless question, just asking

Depends what you mean by "bullying." If she's just picking on you, of course not, go tell someone. But if she has a knife or something and is physically threatening your life, heck yeah, beat the crap out of her lol it's self defense against a lethal attack.

Originally Posted by FSUBoy966

Depends what you mean by "bullying." If she's just picking on you, of course not, go tell someone. But if she has a knife or something and is physically threatening your life, heck yeah, beat the crap out of her lol it's self defense against a lethal attack.

Ok thanks, my little sister is going to get so beaten now..

[violakat]

I think the verse, "To turn the other cheek" is possibly being taken out of context. I'm not sure that it applies to bullying so much as to what we believe. I think what Jesus was saying was go the extra mile for people. Don't just give up on them, like other people are willing to do. Often times, people begin to change when you show that you will not give up.

As for bullying, I'm not sure that there is one all true answer for handling bullies. In some instances, the only real way to handle it, is to ignore the person. If they think your not bothered by it, then they will stop. But then, if the bully is trying to get attention, this may only aggravate them, and cause them to do other things. So, maybe by giving them the attention they want, they'll stop. Of course, that might not always be the answer either. I think, bullying is only a case by case handle situation, and the only true way of knowing how it should be handled is through hind sight.

[ada]

Originally Posted by wyler

Bullies are themselves victims of bullying, often at the hands of someone they should have been able to trust implicitly, like a parent. That is what children need to be taught, and once they can understand why it happens they can deal with it effectively.

That is baloney!
How do you automatically know?
From Freudian,Frankfurt School dialectic double speak?
Defending the perpetrator more than the victim?
This also called critical theory or in other words liberalism.
And yes i know it might not be popular.
If you care i heavily recommend to investigate it by yourself.

[wyler]

Originally Posted by ada

That is baloney!
How do you automatically know?
From Freudian,Frankfurt School dialectic double speak?
Defending the perpetrator more than the victim?
This also called critical theory or in other words liberalism.
And yes i know it might not be popular.
If you care i heavily recommend to investigate it by yourself.

I do not automatically know and never said I did, it's just what I have learned through my own personal experiences in life AS A VICTIM, and I am open to learning about those of others to broaden my own knowledge.

I generally don't make patronising statements but if you more carefully read my posts you will see I have not defended the perpetrators more than the victims, I just think it's generally wise to try and understand why offenders continue to offend. If you disagree with that I'll be interested to read your thoughts, if you care to actually offer any.

That said your post is needlessly rude and insulting.

[ada]

Originally Posted by wyler

I do not automatically know and never said I did, it's just what I have learned through my own personal experiences in life AS A VICTIM, and I am open to learning about those of others to broaden my own knowledge.

I generally don't make patronising statements but if you more carefully read my posts you will see I have not defended the perpetrators more than the victims, I just think it's generally wise to try and understand why offenders continue to offend. If you disagree with that I'll be interested to read your thoughts, if you care to actually offer any.

That said your post is needlessly rude and insulting.

Thanks. Just do understand you correctly.
So you bully and have been bullied?

[wyler]

Originally Posted by ada

Thanks. Just do understand you correctly.
So you bully and have been bullied?

No I do not bully, and yes I have been bullied a lot.