I need to vent...also need prayer!!!

[RachelP03]

I have a husband and an ex boyfriend. Ex boyfriend came after my husband. We started dating after his wife left him ( we were all friends) and after my husband left me. It took a few months cause we were there for each other and it slowly grew into more. Anyways....after dating awhile, we both agreed we arnt meant to be and remmained friends. WELL.......I get info today from a coworker of mine that she went on a date with him after meeting him on plentyoffish. She goes to tell me, they met up on Christmas Night and he was all over her, rubbing up on her, trying to make out with her. WHY IS SHE TELLING ME THIS????? Im also mad that he would do this. SHES UGLY!!!! A matter of fact, he told me she looked like a guy and was butt ugly when he came up there to see me one time. WHY IS HE DOING THIS???? Why is he being so desperate???? I dont get it, I dont get guys.....YET.....he told me 2 nights ago that he still loved me. I told her this too!!!! I think shes trying to start drama. I really dont think he remembered her, but I KNOW she remembered him.....HOW MANY FREAKING GUYS NAMED CASS DO YOU KNOW????????????

I hate drama.....i really feel hurt......even tho sometimes I dont know why, because I know hes not for me. How do you let go and move on???????????? I cant seem to figure that part out!!!!!

I know God has a better plan for me....in fact God has told me to fight for my marriage. This is so hard. I know the devil is attacking me left and right. Im getting mad, sad, hurt and everything all the time. I need tons of prayer. I want to be at peace, with just me and God and no one else. I know I cant be the wife that God wants me to be, as long as Im stuck and hurt on my ex of mine. I just dont want to care....anyone have any advice to move on???We broke up maybe a month or so ago. Alot of people tell me, to stop talking to him, which I can do. I cut him out of my facebook, cause I was curious all the time, and it was stressing me out. I need prayer more than anything!!! I feel like im in a really bad place, when really I should feel blessed!!!!

[Cassie84]

I can relate to what you're saying about feelings. My advice would be to "shut out" your feelings. Understand that feelings can easily be influenced, they can be deceiving, they come from the heart and the Bible says the heart can be a very bad place. So shut out feelings and focus on what's right, on what God says is right. Sin is sin, and if you feel you would like your marriage restored, focus on that, think about that, pray about that, open your heart for that. As to the other man, pray that God would lead him too, he's going through a hard time as well. God bless!

[RachelP03]

Originally Posted by Cassie84

I can relate to what you're saying about feelings. My advice would be to "shut out" your feelings. Understand that feelings can easily be influenced, they can be deceiving, they come from the heart and the Bible says the heart can be a very bad place. So shut out feelings and focus on what's right, on what God says is right. Sin is sin, and if you feel you would like your marriage restored, focus on that, think about that, pray about that, open your heart for that. As to the other man, pray that God would lead him too, he's going through a hard time as well. God bless!

Thank you Cassie....I just now deleted a bunch of people off of my facebook, I also sent my ex, his wife, my husband and his mistress all a text, just apologizing or forgiving them. I have a clean slate and I dont want the people who bring me down in my life anymore. I know its easier said than done and its easy to say now, but Im going to try and hold on to the hope of that from now on. Im for the first time, glad that its a new year!!!!! I usually hate the New Year.....bring it on 2012!!!! Im praising the Lord with it!!!!

[TheAristocat]

Originally Posted by RachelP03

I have a husband and an ex boyfriend. Ex boyfriend came after my husband. We started dating after his wife left him ( we were all friends) and after my husband left me. It took a few months cause we were there for each other and it slowly grew into more. Anyways....after dating awhile, we both agreed we arnt meant to be and remmained friends. WELL.......I get info today from a coworker of mine that she went on a date with him after meeting him on plentyoffish. She goes to tell me, they met up on Christmas Night and he was all over her, rubbing up on her, trying to make out with her. WHY IS SHE TELLING ME THIS????? Im also mad that he would do this. SHES UGLY!!!! A matter of fact, he told me she looked like a guy and was butt ugly when he came up there to see me one time. WHY IS HE DOING THIS???? Why is he being so desperate???? I dont get it, I dont get guys.....YET.....he told me 2 nights ago that he still loved me. I told her this too!!!! I think shes trying to start drama. I really dont think he remembered her, but I KNOW she remembered him.....HOW MANY FREAKING GUYS NAMED CASS DO YOU KNOW????????????

I hate drama.....i really feel hurt......even tho sometimes I dont know why, because I know hes not for me. How do you let go and move on???????????? I cant seem to figure that part out!!!!!

I know God has a better plan for me....in fact God has told me to fight for my marriage. This is so hard. I know the devil is attacking me left and right. Im getting mad, sad, hurt and everything all the time. I need tons of prayer. I want to be at peace, with just me and God and no one else. I know I cant be the wife that God wants me to be, as long as Im stuck and hurt on my ex of mine. I just dont want to care....anyone have any advice to move on???We broke up maybe a month or so ago. Alot of people tell me, to stop talking to him, which I can do. I cut him out of my facebook, cause I was curious all the time, and it was stressing me out. I need prayer more than anything!!! I feel like im in a really bad place, when really I should feel blessed!!!!

Sounds like you've been had. That guy is just a pawn of Satan. Brush him off. Put your eyes on God and move on. In Old Testament times you and your husband would have been condemned to death. Not that I'm self-righteous here, but remembering my sins and their penalties always puts things into perspective. Enjoy the life you have, because we might not otherwise have it. And if we should have been rightfully killed, then how can we be mad at anybody who wrongs us? We deserve it all.

Now that you're starting to get back on track for God, the only one who remains in sin is this man. Pitty him and move on.

[Ugly]

You accept that this mans behavior with this woman is true, though you essentially only have it from rumor, not as a verified fact. All of this starting from you dating while you're still married, and while you believe you should be reconciling your marriage. Now you're more worried about the ex-boyfriend you dated while you were married, than you are your own marriage. Yet you say 'i don't get guys'. I'm sorry, but i don't see the guy as being the problem here. Bottom line You got yourself into this situation. These are the consequences to your actions and choices.
Trying to make this guy sound a bad guy, based off of one questionable source, and making it seem like 'men' are the problem is just denial of the fact that your actions could easily make someone say 'i don't get women'. I'm not trying to guilt or condemn you, but your tone is one that implies you're trying to make the others around you in this situation as bad, while trying to maintain your own innocence. You need to start by owning up to the fact that, no matter what any of these other people supposedly did, or did not do, it wouldn't matter if better choices had been made, and take ownership and responsibility for your actions.

I know all this because i've made bad choices in regards to relationships with married people myself. And i know that getting past it is easier when you take ownership of your mistakes.

I'd say its not so much 'shutting out' your emotions, as that's not really healthy, but rather teaching yourself to not be guided by your emotions. You're going to feel things sometimes, and trying to pretend you don't doesn't help. It's admitting you feel things, but also admitting that right choices are not about feelings, but about that little voice nagging at us telling us we're doing wrong. Best you can do is to try not to feed the emotions you're battling. And yes, that means cutting all ties with the source of the problem. Perhaps sitting down and really evaluating whats important in your life. See where your priorities got out of whack, and what you can do to rectify them.

[Crossfire]

Originally Posted by RachelP03

I have a husband and an ex boyfriend. Ex boyfriend came after my husband. We started dating after his wife left him ( we were all friends) and after my husband left me. It took a few months cause we were there for each other and it slowly grew into more. Anyways....after dating awhile, we both agreed we arnt meant to be and remmained friends. WELL.......I get info today from a coworker of mine that she went on a date with him after meeting him on plentyoffish. She goes to tell me, they met up on Christmas Night and he was all over her, rubbing up on her, trying to make out with her. WHY IS SHE TELLING ME THIS????? Im also mad that he would do this. SHES UGLY!!!! A matter of fact, he told me she looked like a guy and was butt ugly when he came up there to see me one time. WHY IS HE DOING THIS???? Why is he being so desperate???? I dont get it, I dont get guys.....YET.....he told me 2 nights ago that he still loved me. I told her this too!!!! I think shes trying to start drama. I really dont think he remembered her, but I KNOW she remembered him.....HOW MANY FREAKING GUYS NAMED CASS DO YOU KNOW????????????

I hate drama.....i really feel hurt......even tho sometimes I dont know why, because I know hes not for me. How do you let go and move on???????????? I cant seem to figure that part out!!!!!

I know God has a better plan for me....in fact God has told me to fight for my marriage. This is so hard. I know the devil is attacking me left and right. Im getting mad, sad, hurt and everything all the time. I need tons of prayer. I want to be at peace, with just me and God and no one else. I know I cant be the wife that God wants me to be, as long as Im stuck and hurt on my ex of mine. I just dont want to care....anyone have any advice to move on???We broke up maybe a month or so ago. Alot of people tell me, to stop talking to him, which I can do. I cut him out of my facebook, cause I was curious all the time, and it was stressing me out. I need prayer more than anything!!! I feel like im in a really bad place, when really I should feel blessed!!!!

Can I brutally honest with you?

He's a player trying to get laid. That's what players do. They will tell you anything thing to get you in bed. 'Nuff said.

Drop him and ask God to help you get rid of any emotional attachments that you have for this guy. There is no doubt at all that God can do this but you have to start seeking God earnestly and whole heartedly. I would put any and all relationships on hold until you get your marriage straightened out or officially ended. Even then I wouldn't date until all emotional attachments to men in your past have been healed or else the enemy is going to use your feelings to against you just as he is doing now.