im confused and extremely stressing out! please help.

[totil]

Ok i dont know how to start. But my issue is that im confused whether is being a stay at home mom bad because some say that the bible says thats what god wants for mother & wife is to not work outside the home and stay at home which is what im doing, my daughter will be two in february and people around me like my family and my husbands family expect me to go out and work besides being a stay at home mom since they think is not good just be a stay at home mom because they feel that i need to do something with my life which makes me feel like a looser and pressured to do what they think is right so i can feel better but at the same time i dont feel like is right because it will hurt me to leave my daughter to be cared by someone else just for a couple of bucks. I just dont know what to think? and i think soon my husband will want me to start working too. but i never have the chance to go to church as much as id like to or do sgomething for god like i want to since my husband doesnt let me use the our car because he complains about the gas but when is something for him like going to car meets or his parents he never has an excuse. I also barely get to visit my stepfather for that reason . Or i never have emergency money like atleast $5 , it makes me feel guilty that i never tithte for that reason too. so i dont know what is the right thing to do at this point. Hopefully im making myself understood. I need christian advice.

Sorry if i dont really make sense with misspellings,etc but im on my phone and is hard to type correctly.

[JJAC]

Pray to god for help understanding and pece in your soul that's the first step
then ask the Lord for guidance and help and know he hears you

[totil]

Originally Posted by totil

Ok i dont know how to start. But my issue is that im confused whether is being a stay at home mom bad because some say that the bible says thats what god wants for mother & wife is to not work outside the home and stay at home which is what im doing, my daughter will be two in february and people around me like my family and my husbands family expect me to go out and work besides being a stay at home mom since they think is not good just be a stay at home mom because they feel that i need to do something with my life which makes me feel like a looser and pressured to do what they think is right so i can feel better but at the same time i dont feel like is right because it will hurt me to leave my daughter to be cared by someone else just for a couple of bucks. I just dont know what to think? and i think soon my husband will want me to start working too. but i never have the chance to go to church as much as id like to or do sgomething for god like i want to since my husband doesnt let me use the our car because he complains about the gas but when is something for him like going to car meets or his parents he never has an excuse. I also barely get to visit my stepfather for that reason . Or i never have emergency money like atleast $5 , it makes me feel guilty that i never tithte for that reason too. so i dont know what is the right thing to do at this point. Hopefully im making myself understood. I need christian advice.

Sorry if i dont really make sense with misspellings,etc but im on my phone and is hard to type correctly.

if its gods will for me to stay at be a stay at home mom and wife, how would i be able to tithe, or go to church or serve in the church, or evagelising without money.??? Ahhh

[hallelujah]

Sometimes waiting can be very difficult. Prayer is powerfull, but we must wait on the lord to work things out in his time. Just lay everything at his feet and say Jesus, please help me

[spirit]

First ask God for guidance. Then sit down with yourself and your husband and think of different options as probably the reason why he wants you to work is he needs money to pay for the family's bills. I work part time and find it very flexible with looking after the family as well . You have to ask yourself what skills you have at the moment and if you have family support around you , any decisions you make will be easier for you. Compromise must be met in a marriage so that you both have the same goals, so I would seek a marriage counsellor if this leads to constant stress and worries. God Bless

[dmdave17]

Dear totil,

Everyone's situation is different. God has a unique plan for each one of us and what works for one person may not work for another. But I think we would all agree that in God's eyes, your number one responsibility and priority is to be the very best mother you can be to your child.

That being said, it doesn't necessarily preclude your working outside the home. There is nowhere in the bible that states "a woman's place is in the home". As a matter of fact, the Book of Proverbs says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. ... she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." (Proverbs 31:10-11 & 15-17) This certainly does not sound like a stay-at-home mom.

Only you (and God) can decide what is right for you. You need to ignore the pressures you are getting from the outside, and turn to Him for your answer. The Apostle, Paul, warned us, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world,..." (Romans 12:2) And also, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ." (Colossians 2:8) The "world" says that a wife must contribute to her family's finances. The "world" says that modern women must have a fulfilling career. The "world" is going to hell; literally and figuratively.

So my advice would be prayerfully and reverently consider your decision in light of what you think God wants you to do: not what your husband, or his family, or anyone else say you should do. Ask for God's guidance, then sit back and listen for His answer. I trust that He will show you the path that is right for you.

God be with you in your search.

[loveme1]

Originally Posted by totil

Ok i dont know how to start. But my issue is that im confused whether is being a stay at home mom bad because some say that the bible says thats what god wants for mother & wife is to not work outside the home and stay at home which is what im doing, my daughter will be two in february and people around me like my family and my husbands family expect me to go out and work besides being a stay at home mom since they think is not good just be a stay at home mom because they feel that i need to do something with my life which makes me feel like a looser and pressured to do what they think is right so i can feel better but at the same time i dont feel like is right because it will hurt me to leave my daughter to be cared by someone else just for a couple of bucks. I just dont know what to think? and i think soon my husband will want me to start working too. but i never have the chance to go to church as much as id like to or do sgomething for god like i want to since my husband doesnt let me use the our car because he complains about the gas but when is something for him like going to car meets or his parents he never has an excuse. I also barely get to visit my stepfather for that reason . Or i never have emergency money like atleast $5 , it makes me feel guilty that i never tithte for that reason too. so i dont know what is the right thing to do at this point. Hopefully im making myself understood. I need christian advice.

Sorry if i dont really make sense with misspellings,etc but im on my phone and is hard to type correctly.

We are blessed with children to guard over them for our Heavenly Father.
This world makes people believe it is okay to leave children with others, while we go out to work.
The system is wrong, yet all must come to pass for the harvest.
We have corrupted ourselves and now face each day living in this world.
No Mother wants to leave her young, but she is forced by the system to.
The way of life is evil, it is aimed at " self "
Just look how they convinced us that using bottle and formula was best for baby..
We were given milk to feed our young, yet "man knew best"... Yahweh understands our dilemma, but if we seek the truth it is there.
So many lack the responsibility to wives and family, and will leave a Mother in a situation of having to work to feed her young.

We are so deep into this evil plan, that it is difficult to make right decisions.
We are no better off.... we are just in a deep falsehood. Lies, greed, hate.... This is what we were warned of at the start, and this is what we will have learn't at the end.

Heavenly Father is letting all things come to pass, so that we will learn even if it be the hard way, that we need him and only him. Yeshua our Saviour came to give us a pardon for all the things we have done, because at this point in time the deception is coming to a head.

The falsehood replaced the truth, so now it is a gift to know the truth.


Hold in there, and enjoy your gift, if you are forced to work, then minimise the time away, try working in the evening when little one is in bed or something.

[Be_Evergreen]

Works for some people, doesn't for others. Like all the rest said, pray about it.

I know one group of kids who were home schooled up until high school, and they display terrific moral character. They can still get interaction with others through joining clubs, playing with neighborhood kids, etc. The family I know is big on church activities and youth groups.

Then there are some who thrive in public schools/private schools. One of the most loving girls I know went to high school with me, and I'll tell ya- she was a bright light inside of a dark cave! Extremely loving and very religious. In public schools, it's a good show of what they may have to deal with in the real world. They build tolerance and compassion for others, and are guaranteed social interaction. And it tests your faith, to show others in those systems that what you believe in is the Truth!

And I've met one girl who was home schooled who was very, very socially awkward from it- she did not know how to take tests. She did not know her boundaries with others, nor with teachers. If one of your children wants to go to college, it may be preferable to make sure they are taught in a way that they learn how schooling really works.

So it's your personal preference and what you can handle, it's not a guarantee either way, you just make the best of either situation by raising your kids to stand up and go with God. And what God seems to want you to do . But there's pluses and minuses on both sides of the issue!

[violakat]

Originally Posted by totil

if its gods will for me to stay at be a stay at home mom and wife, how would i be able to tithe, or go to church or serve in the church, or evagelising without money.??? Ahhh

First, You do not have to have money to evangelize. If you can walk, then you can meet people along the way to talk with. Ask God to show you opportunities to evangelize.

Second, whether you stay at home or go to work should not be everyone's decision. You need to pray about this to God and discuss with your husband what would be best for your family. I would say pray with your husband, but I'm not sure if he is a Christian. If he is, then pray with him.

Third, there is nothing wrong with a mom working outside the home, should she choose to do so, nor is there anything wrong with a mom choosing to stay at home and raise her child. Both are jobs in themselves. One you are paid in money, the other your not. If you want to stay at home and raise your child, but at the same time, need money to help support your family, consider working from your home. Possible create jewelry, knit items, sew, different things like that. This will allow you to still work and raise your child.

As an added note, a lot of people miss this, but the Proverbs 31 wife was a business woman.

[Calmador]

Originally Posted by totil

Ok i dont know how to start. But my issue is that im confused whether is being a stay at home mom bad because some say that the bible says thats what god wants for mother & wife is to not work outside the home and stay at home which is what im doing, my daughter will be two in february and people around me like my family and my husbands family expect me to go out and work besides being a stay at home mom since they think is not good just be a stay at home mom because they feel that i need to do something with my life which makes me feel like a looser and pressured to do what they think is right so i can feel better but at the same time i dont feel like is right because it will hurt me to leave my daughter to be cared by someone else just for a couple of bucks. I just dont know what to think? and i think soon my husband will want me to start working too. but i never have the chance to go to church as much as id like to or do sgomething for god like i want to since my husband doesnt let me use the our car because he complains about the gas but when is something for him like going to car meets or his parents he never has an excuse. I also barely get to visit my stepfather for that reason . Or i never have emergency money like atleast $5 , it makes me feel guilty that i never tithte for that reason too. so i dont know what is the right thing to do at this point. Hopefully im making myself understood. I need christian advice.

Sorry if i dont really make sense with misspellings,etc but im on my phone and is hard to type correctly.

What people think, is not important, what God thinks is important.

I think your doing one of those admirable, WONDERFUL, Beauuftil things any woman can do... be a full time mom for her children. Now that being said... under scripture, you can work still. Just don't let people's influence, make you work.... you going to work, should be based on your families needs not what the neighbors say or mother in law or father in law.

Proverbs 31 woman

The proverbs 31 woman is a model christian women look up to and the proverbs woman does trading and in one translation I remember it says she has a business of some sort so she makes money for the sake of her family. I think a Godly woman is very flexible for the sake of her family, and part of the flexibility involves even making money for her family. So if your family needs it, go for it and look for work, for your family's sake, if not.... then yeah I agree with you, a few bucks isn't worth it. Also remember the proverbs woman doesn't eat the bread of idleness, idleness means doing nothing.

Proverbs 31

New International Version (NIV)



1 The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him. 2 Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3 Do not spend your strength on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4 It is not for kings, Lemuel—
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7 Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.



Hope it helps.

[totil]

Wow thank you guys soo much for the advice, it helps soo much that i feel soo much at peace now. Really appreciate it.

[totil]

Thanksssss