Salvation Or Your marriage After 22 + Years ??

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
T

Trust

Guest
#1
I just completed a study on Marriage,Divorce and Remarriage and I understand what I've read in the scriptures In my study I found that my wife and I are living in an adulterous marriage after 22 years of marriage plus another 10 years of being together for a total of 32 years .My wife and I are new Christians and were Baptized into the body of Christ in 2006 since then he has Blessed us so much we give him praise in all he does for us !


Here's are problem were in jeopardy of losing our salvation with God if we don't correct our marriage,I'll explain!


My wife and I both were previously married her marriage failed do to her ex having several wives while married to her but unfortunately she didn't know this beforehand so she got a divorce from him, Now from my study I've learned that she was free to remarry and that her divorce is scriptural.

Now in my previous marriage with my ex was do to irreconcilable differences which in God eyes is unscriptural, I must note here that I never had an extramarital affair ,as far as I know nor did my ex wife but only she and God know that answer .

My wife asked me if I knew for certain that my ex didn't have an affair while we were married and I told I don't know I just don't know !! (If she had this would allow us to be married)

With this uncertain answer and from what I understand from scripture not only are we living in a adulterous marriage were living in it everday day even by asking God for forgiveness not until we get out of ( divorce) our marriage are we forgiven, It's just mocking God !! This would be the only way to make this right with God to get our salvation back and staying single and salabit the rest of our life!

So my question is this do you , give up on 22 + years of your marriage on something that is uncertain to make it right with God,to lose ones salvation ? our salvation is everything to us so is God, Were everything to each other, This doesn't only effect my wife and I but our children,grandchildren,family,our family in Christ at our Church having to go out and start another house hold up ,respect from all the above.

Two things come to mind in all of this and that is this , ( 1) If you deny before man I'll deny before thy Father ! ( 2 ) John 3:16 ,God tells us to Love him above everything to me this means to free our marriage for our salvation,Even if It means for me to have to lose my salvation I want my wife to save hers at all cost !

I hope everyone can understand what I've posted , God Bless
 
Nov 10, 2011
607
6
0
#2
Were any of you Christians when all these divorces took place? Cause that makes a lot of difference.

Corinthians 7:12-16 the apostle Paul instructs believers that if they have a non-Christian husband or wife, they must stay with that husband or wife if they wish to stay. However, if that non-Christian husband or wife wants to leave, the Christian spouse is supposed to allow the non-Christian spouse to leave...
.
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
 
T

Trust

Guest
#3
Thanks for your fast reply Soul ,Well I can't deny that I didn't know Christ then because I did even though I was raised Catholic and so was my ex wife and as far as my current wife she was raised Baptist so to the answer to your question would have to be yes the three of us were Christians and knew the Ten Commandments then, The question now is did we follow him like we do today and the answer would have to be no . My understanding of adultery was outside of the marriage or if your single and slept with someones wife or husband but not if your divorced and remarried.

I don't know about the ex-husbands faiths ? All I know this making me and my wife sick,We just want to make right with God !!
 
Feb 16, 2011
2,957
24
0
#4
you can go back to your first wife. i believe you are having more faith than most people. the lord has given me a prophecy for you. thus saith the lord, i will be with you and never forsake you. i will bless you if you choose me. i will save you and your household if you choose me. i will lift you up above the others for my name. you will gain more than you will lose, says the lord.
 
Nov 10, 2011
607
6
0
#5
Thanks for your fast reply Soul ,Well I can't deny that I didn't know Christ then because I did even though I was raised Catholic and so was my ex wife and as far as my current wife she was raised Baptist so to the answer to your question would have to be yes the three of us were Christians and knew the Ten Commandments then, The question now is did we follow him like we do today and the answer would have to be no . My understanding of adultery was outside of the marriage or if your single and slept with someones wife or husband but not if your divorced and remarried.

I don't know about the ex-husbands faiths ? All I know this making me and my wife sick,We just want to make right with God !!


There is a big difference between knowing an accepting though. I know of the Mormon church, but I don't accepting them.

What does your heart tell you?
 
T

Trust

Guest
#6
She remarried years ago he would have to leave,But I don't think the chances of that are happening !
 
T

Trust

Guest
#7
There is a big difference between knowing an accepting though. I know of the Mormon church, but I don't accepting them.

What does your heart tell you?

I think the Catholic Church was my foundation and I'm building on that within the Church Of Christ, But I believe I accepted Christ as a young child
 
Nov 10, 2011
607
6
0
#8
I think the Catholic Church was my foundation and I'm building on that within the Church Of Christ, But I believe I accepted Christ as a young child

My best advice, talk to your priest.
 
K

Kyouken

Guest
#10
Just thought to say, Trust, if you've accepted Jesus as your saviour, don't worry about losing your salvation. Whatever sin you commit in the future has been taken care of on the cross.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#11
Just thought to say, Trust, if you've accepted Jesus as your saviour, don't worry about losing your salvation. Whatever sin you commit in the future has been taken care of on the cross.
I agree with Kyouken. You need to remember that Jesus has covered all sins. Your understanding of marriage and God's will in that was lacking when you and your wife divorced your previous spouses.

Both you and your wife know now that the Lord sees marriage as a sacred bond between man and woman. You simply have to ask for forgiveness. Mean it. And you will be forgiven.

Our loving God is big enough to forgive you both. I personally don't see and feel in my heart that the Lord would want you to end a marriage. That would be TWO wrongs, which certainly doesn't make a right. Love your wife, stay with your wife, and both continue to seek a relationship with the Lord. Remember this, the Lord wouldn't break up a family, only the enemy would.

Seek God, pray and as you have mentioned before if you are still having a difficult time, I recommend going to see someone at your church.

Praying for you both! God bless!
 
C

CatWoman

Guest
#12
When You were baptised in 2006, all your sins were forgive, even your sins of divorceing for the wrong reason, and getting remarried after that. I belong to a Church of Christ too. I know that they dont beleive in marrage after a divorce unless there is adultry involved.When you were baptised all your sins were buried in the water. You rose out of the water as a new person, whole without sin.
 
T

Trust

Guest
#13
When You were baptised in 2006, all your sins were forgive, even your sins of divorceing for the wrong reason, and getting remarried after that. I belong to a Church of Christ too. I know that they dont beleive in marrage after a divorce unless there is adultry involved.When you were baptised all your sins were buried in the water. You rose out of the water as a new person, whole without sin.

That's very interesting !! We've asked other members in our Church and other Church of Christ and we've been told we have to get a divorce and stay single for our salvation ? They also said once saved not always saved ??

We feel as you do !
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#14
God knows your heart. Your heart in this situation was not selfishness and disobedience. Be cautious of legalism. While its good to know the 'rules' that God lays out for us, we can't bypass the heart of God.
 
T

Trust

Guest
#15
God knows your heart. Your heart in this situation was not selfishness and disobedience. Be cautious of legalism. While its good to know the 'rules' that God lays out for us, we can't bypass the heart of God.

Thank you for your reply ,My wife and I are trying to make sense of it all,Where do we start how do we tell our children and grandchildren,families,non believers,they'll think we belong to some cult !!

What do you in a case where your not sure what your ex did while married to them ?