adoption

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iraasuup

Guest
#1
#1
Hi all,

I'm curious about adoption laws. I have scoured the internet and it appears as though in order to be eligible to apply to adopt a child in Australia you have to be either married or in a commited partnership (and show evidence of this).

I have recently separated from my husband and he has no desire to try and work things out. We didn't have any children from our 7 years of marriage (because he refused to), and now I've found myself thinking of my future. I'll be 30 this year, and I have come to the realisation I may never have children of my own.

I was considering looking at adoption, and spending the next couple of years getting myself in the right position to do so. But it doesn't look like single people can adopt.

What are your thoughts on this? Yes, I agree Gods plan was for a man and woman to marry and have children together, and that children need both a Mother AND a Father; BUT isn't a child in need better off in a home with ONE loving parent who can provide for them, then in and out of foster care, or whatnot? Can't a child have stability with ONE parent?

I don't understand the law here. It allows couples who are not married, but have been living together a minimum of 2 yrs to adopt, but a single person cannot? What happens to the adopted child if the co-habiting parents break up? How is that any different to just allowing a child to live with a single person who is willing to love, care and provide a home for them?

Any thoughts? It seems Im destined to be childless. I have money, and means to provide a very happy home for a child if need be, so do you think the law should be changed?
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#2
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
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#2
Oh Katie I'm so sorry to hear about you and your husband. It sounded like things were going so well for you two recently. I had to double check your name on the post because I couldn't believe its was you posting this. I want you to know that I think he is losing a really terrific woman! Sorry, I don't know anything about adoption.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#3
#3
I don't know what the laws are in your country, but single people in the USA are definitely encouraged to adopt. In a perfect world it would be great for a child to have a mom and dad, but this world is far from perfect. Caring for orphans is one of the things cited as "undefiled religion" in the book of James, so we know it is definitely within the will of God for us to love and care for these little ones.

Katie, I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through right now. My heart is with you. You probably aren't ready to hear it yet, but 30 isn't really that old. God may yet have amazing plans for you in the way of having a family. He knows your heart. Trust Him with this. :) <3
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#4
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
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#4
Jullianna said:
You probably aren't ready to hear it yet, but 30 isn't really that old. God may yet have amazing plans for you in the way of having a family. He knows your heart. Trust Him with this. :) <3
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Oh yes! 30 isn't old at all!! My sister had her first kid at 36 and she is a very smart and healthy little girl, except for some allergies.
 
T

Tobby17

Guest
#5
#5
zeroturbulence said:
Oh yes! 30 isn't old at all!! My sister had her first kid at 36 and she is a very smart and healthy little girl, except for some allergies.
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Oh i don't know how dis sounds zero, but how will she get a child now if she isn't even with her husband?..

Ugh sorry if dat was offensive in any way
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
I think he means that God may have someone special for her down the road, Tobby :) At least that's what I meant.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#7
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
113
#7
Tobby17 said:
Oh i don't know how dis sounds zero, but how will she get a child now if she isn't even with her husband?..

Ugh sorry if dat was offensive in any way
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She's only 30, so she has time to find a new hubby. :)
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#9
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
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#9
I don't know about the laws but I think perhaps it might have to do with the fact that you might meet that special someone. If a couple splits up it still has two parent who love it although it can be traumatic but I guess the worry is that if you meet someone the child will suffer for it. Also they carefully vet who they allow the child to live with, if they give you a child and a man becomes part of your life he hasn't been deemed suitable. That is the only things I can think of but in the UK single people can adopt.
 
F

FrankensteinGirls

Banned
#10
Aug 8, 2010
531
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0
#10
I believe my mother was 38 when my sister and I were conceived (unplanned surprise two for one special)

I believe around here single people are allowed to adopt, I'm not sure though, it makes me sad that you wouldn't be able to.. children need homes..
 
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Jordache

Guest
#11
#11
I'm in a similar situation. I've been with my husband for 8 yrs and he left about 6 mos ago with no wishes to reconcile. I've wanted to be a mother since as far back as I can remember. While with ny husband I miscarried twice. My boys, Samuel, who would 18 months, and Dominic, who'd be 10 months were my greatest miracles and I never got to hold them in my arms. I am only 27, but I still feel like my clock has been ticking a looong time.
In the US we can foster adopt. Maybe there's a similar regulation in Aussieland.
 
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iraasuup

Guest
#12
#12
What is forster-adopting?

Is that like fostering a child on a long-term basis with the plan that if all works out you will eventually adopt them?
 
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Fracman

Guest
#13
#13
I think that if u can give the child a good home and a loving home then u should do it .I mom just had a little one in her home from cps and trust me the baby was better of with me mom one of the babys moms freinds came and got her to night to raise her till the mom and get her life together.The babys mom I donot think she will ever do that.There are little ones out there that need a good loving home
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#14
#14
iraasuup said:
What is forster-adopting?

Is that like fostering a child on a long-term basis with the plan that if all works out you will eventually adopt them?
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That's exactly what it means. Sometimes it just means a child is in foster care waiting to be adopted. Two boys that I took care of for many years (babysitting) were both foster children that were then adopted by the same family. The family knew ahead of time that the boys would most likely be able to be adopted in the long run.

Family and children are both things that the Lord truly loves, if it's your desire for both of those I do believe that it's possible. Like others have said, you are certainly still young enough to have children when the time is right. My aunt just had a very sweet baby girl at 35 and I know other women here that have had them older than that.

Don't be discouraged, God has a plan for you. God bless! :)
 
D

dmdave17

Guest
#15
#15
I am glad to see this discussion moving toward alternatives for caring for children. I believe that there are many ways that we can express our love and improve the lives of unfortunate children. I believe that since God has laid on you a strong desire for children, He will provide an avenue for you to fulfill your longing; whether with your own children or others.

And as many people have been saying, your are still a young woman. You have plenty of time to meet a good man and have children of your own. We never know what God has in store for us just around the next bend. My youngest daughter was born when my wife was 36 and she also turned out fine. (Unfortunately, her only alergy is to work. ;) )

God bless you all.
 
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