wow chachita what a difficult situation! im so sorry for your hardship.
i think that would be difficult, wanting a husband to change his behavior while maintaining respect and obedience towards him..
i think first and foremost you need to let him know that you respect him, trust his discernment, and appreciate all he does for the income of your household [you may already be doing this, and he may not do much for it but its good to remind him that you appreciate what he has done
].
secondly, i think an idea you could use is approaching it as though its your fault, believe me- im not saying it is at all.. but coming to him from a point of humility may be very effective. for instance if he spends to much money eating out you could say "im sorry honey have i not been cooking what you like usually? please tell me what you're in the mood for and ill make it this week.
" or whatever he may be spending too much money on.. thats just an example. i know some people may see that as crazy, since you haven't done anything wrong.. but its like it says in 1 Peter, we are to win our husband's hearts with our conduct and submission
just how a soft answer turns away wrath.. the more loving you are the less likely he will be to resist fixing whats burdening you.
thirdly, have you heard of Dave Ramsey? He is a christian financial advisor, he offers classes, has books, and speaks at churches around the country. you might suggest listening to him as a preacher before an advisor.. approaching the situation from the standpoint of wanting to share something you enjoy with your husband, rather than lecturing him. this may help you feel like your not nagging, but rather just sharing something as a couple
.
i know i am not married and am young, so this may not be the best advice, but i hope that it helps and i hope that everything works out. i will keep you and your husband in my prayers for sure!