Alchoholic christian Husband

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Michelle1969

Guest
#1
#1
OK to cut it short.
Fasting for Guidance.
Husband drug addict and alchoholic. been amphetamineamd cocaine free (I think) since January after police involvement caused social services to assess our children as I have to leave them with him (4 and 6) while I go to work (have no-one else to care for them, live away from my family, work unsocial hours I am a midwife). He has been mixing drink and prescription meds all the time, for years. Drink getting out of hand he sometimes has no memory of events and is threatenting, prides himself that he does not hit women and children but says if he starts he will kill me. If I phone the police again, it will be the last time I do etc. stay in room when he is very drunk out of his way, but fear of what he might do as he is throwing stuff around down stairs. Fasting as I want God to tell me it is OK to leave, but God gives me words like restoration and today the below scripture.........

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:8-9 (Read all of 2 Corinthians 1)

I leave my children with him as he says he is the head of the house and I need to trust God will keep them safe, and when I involve the police I am involving the world........... He is not always really drunk, but will drink every day... I dont know what normal is anymore.
I need a word
Is the husband the head... he tells me to leave every day.. he blames me for his drinking, he says if it was not for me he would not need to drink... I know it is his choice, I dont care for him anymore he is horrid. But I dont want to leave, as I take my marriage vows seriously
help
Michelle
 
M

Michelle1969

Guest
#2
#2
I hid his drug taking for 5 years before I called the police, I wanted help.... but now he says I have gone to the world for help, I should have trusted God
 
above

above

Banned
#3
Jun 29, 2009
116
0
0
#3
It's great that you take your vow so seriously, but you also have a responsibility for your kids. Wouldn't it be better for them to have some... distance to their father? I am not suggesting that they should, but I think they are most important and you should do whatever is best for them, not whatever is best for your husband.
I hope you understand what I mean.
 
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Michelle1969

Guest
#4
#4
But he loves his kids and his kids love him...
 
above

above

Banned
#5
Jun 29, 2009
116
0
0
#5
Have you considered sending him to a therapy? There are professionals out there for problems like that. To me it sounds like he is a danger to himself and even worse also to your family.
 
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Michelle1969

Guest
#6
#6
He refuses help he says he does not require the help of the world. He trusts is God. He was assessed by a social work team, but he was sober and made out it was all in my head, and I made a lot of stuff up... he is very godd... he can put a good show on, he is a charmer
 
above

above

Banned
#7
Jun 29, 2009
116
0
0
#7
Oh Lord... that sounds very very serious. I am sorry, but there is only one thing I can suggest:
Leave him and take the kids with you.
I am serious, do it before something terrible happens. And someting is BOUND to happen.
He says he trusts in god but he behaves in no way like he really would. His actions indicate that he is really sick and that he doesn't really want to change. This will not end well if you don't act now. Don't listen to his accusations. It's not your fault. You sound to me like a strong woman and a devoted wife. It is him who is wrong. I know this will be hard, incredibly hard, but you don't have any other options, do you?
Maybe the loss of his loved ones will enlighten him and he becomes willing to change.
Do what you feel is best for you and your children.
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#8
#8
..if your husband doesnt want' help' he wont get any better period... i sincerely wish you the best but it sounds to me like you are trying to hang onto a man that doesnt want to change, your first responsibility at that point should be to your children , im sorry but thats just how it looks to me, my heart goes out to you and your family. :(
 
loveschild

loveschild

Banned
#9
May 21, 2009
3,955
25
0
#9
Get your kids and get out if you can't use the law to make him get out. You don't put up with that. That is wrong. God doesn't want you in a terrible situation like that. He is using fear to keep you there. You must be strong for you and your children. You and your children are in danger. I had a drug and drunk husband. Only God can fix people and he can only do it if they want to be fixed. Please don't stay in that hell. God bless you, Love
 
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silversprings

Guest
#10
#10
My heart goes out to you Michelle,

Eph 6: 11-18 Put on the whole armour of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil, for we wrestle not against flesh & blood but against principalities against powers against the rulers of the darkness of this world against spiritual wickedness in high places .........

read also Psalm 37 and get your prayer warriors interceeding for you & your children & your husband

Gods peace be with you
 
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emancipated

Guest
#11
#11
I agree you should leave.
If trusting God is putting your whole family in danger, then I want no part of that god.
Sometimes we actually have to make the decisions and contrary to what others may tell you, God gave you a brain so you could make your own choices.
From what you have said about your husband he isn't trusting God, He is trusting that he can control you enough to have you do his bidding.
God never intended for any of us to be in bondage.
Please, take your kids and leave or make him leave, for your family's safety.
Peace
 
G

Graybeard

Guest
#12
#12
This is a very difficult situation, one I have for a very long time wondered about. Biblically, Jesus tells us that divorce is only permissible if for sexual immorality Mat 19:9. Having said that He does not say anything about leaving ones spouse, or maybe Mat 19:5 means otherwise.
Seek Jesus in prayer...lots of it is all I can say. My father was an alcoholic and used to beat up my mother in front of us(we are 7 kids) for some reason she endured it all to the end, he died from cancer, she passed away years later. This is why I admire her so much, I just know that she will be rewarded for that.
God Bless
 
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Reborn32

Guest
#13
#13
Tough one. I myself am a recovering alcoholic. I was never a violent drunk from what little I remember. I've never been told I was not physically anyway but I did do a lot of verbal abusing so I was told but the point is he's not gonna change unless he wants to and he cant do it without help. I wante to cause I was tired of the blackouts and not remembering what I had done or said. Trust me it's not your fault either. Thats just something the alcoholic tells his loved ones to guilt them into accepting the behavior. My wife didn't leave me or put me out I left on my own cause I wanted to stop but couldn't so I just got away from them and did it until I got sick of it. The plan for me was either I stop or die which ever came first but I knew I couldn't keep taking my family through that mess. Then I was afraid of what I might do or say in the middle of a drunken rage. I'd say leave him and see if that wakes him up and continue to pray for him as I will be praying for you all.
 
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jasondaniel

Guest
#14
#14
Well im my self also an alcoholic im trying to quit i ve had enough, im about to get married and i pray to God thats not going to happen in my marriage.
my mother back in 85 put us little kids and her on a train and from new brunswick dissapreared to fort st john my dad was abusive to her when he drank i dont think alot but i heard of a couple stories, as for your fearing safety my favorite verse is psalm 91 gb Jay
 
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jasondaniel

Guest
#15
#15
my mom knew it was time to get us out when it invloved him drunk and a gun
 
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jgrig2

Guest
#16
#16
Go to the Church.
 
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Michelle1969

Guest
#17
#17
Thanks everyone.
I did leave and go to stay with family. I have a holiday from work and I am a long way from him.....
But I am supposed to go back to work and the kids to school.... He says he is not drinking?? or just a couple of glasses of wine tonight, the first for a week......... Since I have not seen him for 2 weeks i am even thinking I should go back???? Just came here to remind myself how upset I was!

How can I miss someone who does not appear to even like me??? the complexities of marriage!
 
L

Lauren

Guest
#18
#18
Michelle1969 said:
...... or just a couple of glasses of wine tonight, the first for a week.........
Click to expand...
It's not too likely that he's just having a couple if he's an alcoholic (and he sure sounds like he is). Or if it is just a couple tonight, it's virtually impossible for an alcoholic to maintain a "normal" level of drinking for very long....the compulsion is just too strong once you have that first drink.

Your husband needs to get help for himself....there's not anything you can do to change him in the physical realm until he wants help for himself. In the spiritual realm, continue to pray for him. God can do a radical deliverance -- it happened to me and I've heard of other people delivered from substance addiction or abuse.

I pray you find peace with God in this and that He gives you direction for you and your family. And I pray that your husband's hard resistant shell is broken and he humbles himself enough to ask for help.

~ lauren
 
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carpetmanswife

Guest
#19
#19
Lauren said:
It's not too likely that he's just having a couple if he's an alcoholic (and he sure sounds like he is). Or if it is just a couple tonight, it's virtually impossible for an alcoholic to maintain a "normal" level of drinking for very long....the compulsion is just too strong once you have that first drink.

Your husband needs to get help for himself....there's not anything you can do to change him in the physical realm until he wants help for himself. In the spiritual realm, continue to pray for him. God can do a radical deliverance -- it happened to me and I've heard of other people delivered from substance addiction or abuse.

I pray you find peace with God in this and that He gives you direction for you and your family. And I pray that your husband's hard resistant shell is broken and he humbles himself enough to ask for help.

~ lauren
Click to expand...
I am a recovering alcoholic...i totally agree with Lauren here , a couple of drinks will only lead to a couple more...we cant drink AT ALL ...i wish u my best , sincerely.
 
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dustin

Guest
#20
#20
im feel sorry for u i hope he cna get help
 
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