cv, i think you have some things backwards. You call your husband 'gentle' yet he is actually quite cruel and mean spirited. He is not at all gentle. He has taken your emotions and your self esteem and stomped all over them. Truth is, he is quite a jerk, meanwhile you are the gentle and kind one. Despite him constantly putting you down, you still feel love and a desire to make things work. You are the rock, the love and the goodness in the relationship. You are the evidence of Gods work, while you husband is the one allowing satan to have a foothold in your marriage, and in your life.
It sounds to me like you are both quite depressed people, and that could be a major part of the problem. People who act in depression are often not behaving as themselves, but rather under the affliction of this disorder. I know, i suffered bad depression for a long, long time. It makes you miserable, miserable to be around, impatient, irritable, you tend to see things in extremes and have little balance, you see 'worst case scenarios' as your only option and things such as that. I suggest you both seek Christian counseling for your depression, separate from each other. Then, as you two begin to work through your depressions maybe begin some marital counseling. Personally, i'm not convinced your husband is sincere in what he says. I think that is the depression talking. And once he can get past that, he will be more free to think and feel for himself and hear God easier as well.
As stated by someone in another post, you are the way God created you to be. Don't let someone else, husband, family, friend, stranger, anyone tell you that you're less than what God wanted. And stop putting so much emphasis on looks. You seem to have a good heart, and that is what makes a person, not their looks. And before you ask about my name, in regards to what i just said, i picked 'Ugly' just to be funny and get laughs. Not because i think i'm ugly, so no, i'm not being a hypocrite haha.
Psalm 9:9 The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.
