about a year and a half ago my husband had an affair. it was devastating to say the least, but god brought us thru it .today i'm facing some same familiar behavior patterns from him and it is really bringing me down.since the affair i have caught him on porn sites. and now he just plain ignores me. he has pulled away from me and claims he loves me. but yet he has no time for me. he will work early and come home late again. sleep in the other room. so many signs that he is either being unfaithful or he just doesnt love me. help i dont know what to do.my self image has crashed. my trust is destroyed. help. anybody out there that can relate or give me godly advice?
Hello, There are many many aspects to your heartbreaking situation. The best advice I feel I can give you through this forum is to suggest you speak with your pastor and also ask him to suggest a good trustworthy christian marriage counselor. If your husband refuses to seek help with you, it's a good idea to continue to seek help anyway. Also, stay in God's word. I cannot stress that enough to those seeking help. It's a good idea no matter what we face.
Another thing you may want to do is ask God what part you play in all of this. Be sure your actions are in line with God's will. If they are, wonderful! We are each responsible for our relationship with the Lord. It is not unusual for one to feel inadequate in situations such as yours. But staying in God's word also builds confidence that he is by our side, He loves us and we have value in God's eyes. Remember, it is satan who seeks to destroy and tear down. The bible tells us satan is the father of lies. It is a lie that you arent good enough. Our self image should come from what God thinks of us, not mankind. Then no one can ever take that away from you or destroy it. You ARE accepted, valuable and worth being loved, God said so!
Viewing pornography can be addictive. Some studies show it can actually alter brain chemistry. Somewhat like self medicating. (google for more info) If your husband is addicted, he will need help with this also. We know God can help us through all things. It isn't impossible to be delivered from addiction to porn. Help is always available and as with any addiction, only effective to those who truly want help. It can't be forced.
And finally, surrender. don't feel as though all is lost because you can't fix a situation. Sometimes we act, sometimes we do nothing. There is always hope in the Lord. Ask God to direct your steps. Be sure all you are doing is what is in line with the Lord. Let Jesus be in control and take first place in every situation.
Many (((((((hugs)))))))
