Irresponsible child with a child

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S

shoegirl

Guest
#1
#1
My daughter is 32 years old, divorced, has a 5 year old daughter (whom I love with all my heart), and is living in my basement. She will not grow up and be the responsible adult she should be. I would kick her out but I can't do that to my granddaughter. I need advice.
 
luckyduck

luckyduck

Banned
#2
Jan 22, 2011
56
0
0
#2
Okay. Let say you kick her out. What next for her? Do she have a place to sleep. Remember you're not the only one who is facing this kind of problem. We all face tough time and decision in our life how we handle it is what make us who we are and what others think of us.
 
R

_Ragdoll_

Guest
#3
#3
How to approach this all depends on the entire situation. Is she recently divorced? Does she have a job or going to school? Is she still providing for her daughter, taking care of her? Talk to her. Unfortunately, you can't make her grow up. Thats something she has to do on her own. You can't just throw her out on the street. But you can give her a time limit and have a mutual understanding with her (such as, she should have a job or be in school, pay certain bills or rent, provide certain things for the house or do certain chores). Its one thing to help someone in a pinch, but you also can't be taken advantage of.The most important thing at this point is making sure the child is well cared for. Hope this helps some.
 
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intercessorginger

Guest
#4
#4
I'm sorry to hear you are dealling with this situation. Unfortunately, it's not that uncommon. Since we do not know the entire situation, it's difficult to advise you. If she is an unfit mother, you could gain custody of your grand daughter and raise her yourself. If she is trying to get on her feet after a divorce, the kinder thing would be to give her all the support you can provide until she can make it on her own. One thing I can say though, good, bad, or otherwise the child only has one mother.
 
teuful_hunden

teuful_hunden

Banned
#5
Apr 21, 2012
269
1
0
#5
what did you do when you had your daughter?
 
C

Colours

Banned
#7
Dec 6, 2012
213
0
0
#7
I'm inclined to say, what would Jesus do?

Divorce is hard. Raising a child is hard. And it may just be that she needs love and support WITHOUT the pressures that society expects you to put on her.

Perhaps, put yourself in her shoes. I doubt she actually wants to be in the situation she's in and I'm sure she feels self-conscious enough about it. People judging her.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#8
#8
you had you daughter when you were 15?
 
L

lost1972

Banned
#9
Sep 13, 2012
619
1
0
#9
I've been here in this same situation, I have an adult stepdaughter with five kids, and she's not even 30 yet, none of the dads have anything to do with the kids, and she also wont grow up, now the other grandma has two of them, and three are in foster care and she's about to lose them. They all lived here for a while and in addition to that my stepson and his two kids, so we had her,her five kids, her worthless only husband she had for a little while, stepson and two kids, and step sons girlfriend all in a three bedroom house with one tiny bathroom, we are pretty much financially ruined from the situation, but at least they are all gone, the only reason I let them stay here at all, was because the kids had no choice in the matter, There has to be a time when you say enough is enough, it sounds mean, but you also have the right to live, she is living off of you because she can. Set rules, and if she doesn't follow them, tell her to go, dont end up in the situation I did, you are not being unfair by setting rules and expectations of her, after all you are supporting her, and it's your house
 
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