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Christian Family Forum

Discuss family topics/issues, and give and receive encouragement here.

Thread: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Oh God I need you, since finding out November 20 my wife is with someone else due to my drinking I have stopped drinking, I have surrendered my life to you, I place my marriage in your hands, I'm doing my best to follow your commandments go to church and I'm fasting half days...seems like the more I pray and try to get close to you Jesus the more she goes out to him, she tells me she's going somewhere else and later I find evidence that shows me that every chance she gets she goes and sleeps at his house, Lord my heart is pleading for your mercy, she denies sleeping with him or loving him but all evidence shows the opposite, how long oh lord must I endure this pain? How long will my enemy laugh at me? How long until my wife comes home to our daughter and our marriage? Have you forgotten me? Should I lose all hope for my family? I refuse to believe your sacred plan is to let our family break apart...Father you know that you, my daughter and my wife are the.only family I've got...please remember me lord.
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    I'm very sorry brother that you are going through this experience. Think about the loneliness and dispair that your wife went through. She became vulnerable because you chose booze over her. Be repentant in that you will choose forgiveness. I went through some heartbreaks just like you are going through. If you love her as person then pray for her wellbeing. God does not want you to seek vengence. There will be other brothers and sisters on here who are more experienced with scriptures and wise advice. Read and do what they tell you, for your own good and your wife's. I pray Gods peace come upon you and guide you in all wisdom and truth. Amen!
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    Senior Member BarlyGurl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Draven, Why are you writing a letter to God on Christian Chat Forum? He hears you perfectly well in the privacy of your own home. He has not forsaken you. Previously when you asked for advice here on the forum, several advised you that your drinking was NOT and excuse for your wife to commit adultery... yet here you are lamenting again. I do feel for you in your grief however, you have the word of God to instruct you about this scenario... hint...1Cor 7:15. Just as your wife is exercising her free will, you can too.... you can choose to walk forward into the new life with Christ or you can sit and wail in the valley of the shadow of death. I encourage you to leave what is behind and walk FORWARD with words of thanksgiving and praise for what you do have and focus on your responsibilities ahead of you ie., living a God honoring life and raising your daughter in the fear of the Lord. Be strengthened in Chirst...Amen

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    Senior Member Jordache's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Draven,
    You are remembered. Keep surrendering. Kept moving forward.
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Your heart wrenching prayer is burned in my heart this morning. I will be praying for you. Sometimes it does feel like God has forgotten us, but he hasn't. He loves you. He hears the cries of your heart. He feels your pain. He will heal, but most often it takes time. but miracles do happen, so believe and trust.
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Our heavenly father will ONLY help those whose life pleases Him/in accordance to His principles. Based on your OP, i believed that there are some sins of yours in which you have not deal with properly. Be honest with Him and He would let us down just as promised. TAKE COURAGE, BROTHER.
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Dear brother in Christ,

    As often as the Lord had to bear with us patiently, so it seem He would have you share Christ's suffering towards her.

    One thing you have to bear in mind is that you have not been able to prove to her that you know she is committing the act of adultery to her for her to know that she is not fooling you.

    If you have not been able to do that, then you may be letting your fears run away with you.

    I do not know the situation any more than what has been shared in this thread, but sometimes paranoia can ruin a marriage without adultery being the cause for destroying that marriage. I am sure there are other causes that would ruin the marriage as you have confessed to with your drinking and have repented from with the Lord's help.

    Doing the best we can in keeping His commandments to get some favours from God is not going to win her over. * Besides the commandments we need for abiding in Him is to believe the Lord Jesus Christ and love one another as he gave us the commandments in 1 John 3:22-24.

    That is not saying that there are no other instructions for us to follow Him as His disciples

    1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 11 To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

    Now you say you have repented of your drinking. Is that change evident in your life to your wife? Have you kept all alcohol out of the house?

    Plus: since booze was your escape that cause the neglect of your relationship, then since that booze is out of the way now, how about starting all over again to win back your wife? Do the things you and her loved to do: fix her favorite meal: buy her favorite desert: take her to the places that you & her had enjoyed: take vacations: or just plan something together as a family and not just as a couple: play her favorite games at home as a family: even start planning a get together with other christian couples in eating out and coming home to play games together like my folks do with their friends.

    And in the midst of that, if her likes and dislikes have changed, then get to know her again by "dating" and "courting" your wife.

    Marriage in America has sometime suffered because the couples are acting as if they are still living the single's life. They still go their seperate ways with the husbands going out with the guys and the wives with their friends, but they can't really do that any more if they really want their marriage to work. They have to combine their social activities, otherwise, they leave the door open for temptations to come, and they have.

    One such neighboring couple did things together in taking care of the home. They were industrious workers in this "hobby" together, but it became evident that all work and no play left a crack in the door for Satan to come in. The wife went bowling by herself with her friends in a league whereas the husband was not into it: and stayed home. Big mistake. Soon, she was leaving for another man she had met at the bowling alley. And they got a divorce.

    I am not sharing this to put you in a panicky state, but to take pause, leaning on Christ for peace and wisdom and patience and any longsuffering that may occur from whatever plan He would lead you on, to win back your wife with His love.... or if He is leading you to let her go by way of divorce if it has been proven she is committing adultery and does not care that you know and thus remains unrepentant.

    We all make mistakes and reap the consequences from them that seems to grieve us because we so wished we had never done it, but God is bigger than our mistakes, bigger than our sins, and bigger than our shortcomings that He can help us through anything. It may not be what we want, it may be not in according to our timing, but He dwells within us and is with us always with this promise below.

    Romans 8:2828 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

    2 Corinthians 9:8And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:

    1 Peter 4:11 If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen. 12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: 13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

    1 Peter 4:1Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin; 2 That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God. 3 For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries: 4 Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: 5 Who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead. 6 For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit. 7 But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. 8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

    ** charity is Christ's love: it is not about giving money

    1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
    8 Charity never faileth:

    So when you ask God for help, don't look to your self in doing the best you can in keeping His commandments. He knows you can't do it which is why He came. Trust Him as your Good Shepherd to help you to follow Him just as you have trusted Him as your Saviour that you are saved. That is how you may know Him & the power of His resurrection when you see yourself loving others as Christ has loved you just by living by faith in the Son of God that dwells in you.

    Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

    Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:...9 And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; 10 That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. 11 Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.

    Jude 1:24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, 25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

    P.S. Have you ever asked your wife if she had any questions about christianity but was afraid to ask or something that causes her to doubt? It may be the source of her rebellion "if" she is in one.

    If you do not know the answer, share her question or doubt here. Hopefully, God will raise up someone that may provide the answers she may seek, but feared there was no answer to keep looking.

    And if for some reason you do not have an internet connection any more: you can always bring that question or doubt before that throne of grace.

    James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. 7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. 8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

    Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. 14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. 15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

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    Senior Member Stephen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    draven439 as we surrender all to Him the old self is dead and a new creation rises. For those who have surrendered all to Christ He is our first love and all we do is for Him. Your wife as others have pointed out has free will and if she is living in sin she is choosing the world and its ways and nothing you do can change that. If she loves the world she will not want to come back to you if you are now a slave to Christ. Your choice to follow Christ can not be to win your wife back but to honestly surrender your life to Him and live according to His will.

    You must ask yourself do you love God more than your wife?

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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Know that God works everything for his glory. Have faith love your wife and most importantly Love God in put your trust in him to do whats right.

    I Feel your pain and I love you.....

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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    She has admitted she's seeing another guy and that she sleeps with him, she wants nothing with me, I have surrendered to God to find his grace and help but at no moment am I playing around, I tell the lord my life is his and to use me as he wishes, I pray she comes back to me but if she doesn't I pray for his strength and mercy, thank you for your prayers and advice

  11. #11
    Senior Member Stephen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    I pray you continue in your walk allowing the pain of this experience to reveal Gods will in your life. Live for Him, love your wife, and grow in the faith. She may return or she may not. Based on what you have said so far I pray she returns to you so both of you can grow together in his Grace,
    draven439 likes this.

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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord forever."

    Keep after Him, try to grow as much as you can, and... praise Him in this storm. I know it's not easy. It is doable, though. I'm praying for you, as well.
    draven439 likes this.
    I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.

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    Senior Member Shilo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear God..please help me...don't know how to go on...please hear my cry I beg you

    Praying The Lord bless you with the kind of peace that can only come from him. I pray for your strength and comfort in this time of need. In Yeshua's name amen.
    draven439 likes this.
    If Jesus commanded us to do something He wil equip us to accomplish it. If we make our own inability a stumbling block or an excuse not to be obedient, it means that we are telling God that there is something which He has not yet taken into account. Our own self-reliance must be put to death by the power of God. The moment we recognize our complete weakness and our dependence upon Him will be the very moment that the Spirit of God will exhibit His power.Oswald Chambers

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