In desperate need of help... ready to give up...

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M

marialfc

Guest
#1
#1
Hi everyone... I've been married for a little less than two years and last year I found out that my husband had an affair with another woman, he kept it up throughout my pregnancy and I found out a month after our son was born. Now I think that she's pregnant and he's acting like nothing is wrong.
I don't know what to do, and I'm ready to call it quits.
He has been ok with me, but I know that he can do better, I lef him in June and last week he went to my mom and dad's were I was staying and got all my things back and told me that he wanted to work things out, now I don't know if its such a good idea.
Please help... I want to do Gods will but I just can't hear him.
any advise??
thank you!!
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#2
#2
wow.... thats a loaded question , with many unanswered questions here...is he still 'seeing' this woman? have you confronted him about this possible pregnancy? best advice i can give to you not knowing the full story is this..experience tells me you cant leave these issues unresolved, they will manifest themselves eventually in one way or another there are questions to be answered before you can go further in my opinion...


 
B

broken

Guest
#3
#3
If you want to make it work, you both need to see a christian mariage counselor together. If he isn't willing to do that, it may be worth moving on. I don't advocate divorce, but neither do I advocate staying in a disasterious situation for the sake of traditions. CHrist did say that immorality is the only condition for which we may seek divorce. I personally think we should try to work through even infidelity, but it takes both in the marriage willing to work it out.
 
M

marialfc

Guest
#4
#4
carpetmanswife said:
wow.... thats a loaded question , with many unanswered questions here...is he still 'seeing' this woman? have you confronted him about this possible pregnancy? best advice i can give to you not knowing the full story is this..experience tells me you cant leave these issues unresolved, they will manifest themselves eventually in one way or another there are questions to be answered before you can go further in my opinion...
Click to expand...
SUpposely he's not seeing her anymore... I have tried to talk to him about this possible pergnancy but he just shuts me down and tells me that I'm bothering him. He gets mad and walks away or goes to bed. Every time I try to confront him about how I feel or about the fact that I'm sad about this whole situation he just ignores me, like I'm suppoed to forgive and forget adn that's it, no questions asked.
Even when he first got caught with the affair he denyed everything and to this day, he still does.
I don't know what to do... I''m so scared and worried that I'm going to get hurt again...
 
B

broken

Guest
#5
#5
Nobody here is going to be able to tell you what to do. We are too far removed from the situation. You and your husband need to go to marriage counseling as I advised. Just make sure it comes from your church. If he's not willing to go...well that may be your answer. He's willing to invest in saving your marriage but only at a superficial level.

Something else to think about... if she is having his baby, eventually she will want child support and the state (at least in colorado) will force a dna test if he refuses and she presses the matter. That's a huge mess. May God grant you wisdom.Amen.
 
R

radical_christian

Guest
#6
#6
I'm sorry to hear this. I can't tell you Leave him or stay with him. Ask yourself "what has he done to gain my trust again? is he willing to invest time with me and God? is he willing to take responsibility for the other child? " and so on and so forth. Remember marriage was meant to be a life long commitment and if he seems like the type of person that is not willing to do that then don't stay with him. If you guys argue, think of your child and the environment he/she will grow up in. Anyhow, I will be praying and believing for the best. May God richly bless you with wisdom and may He guide you in this rough situation you are going through. Always remember you are not alone.
 
L

lifetime

Guest
#7
#7
If he hasn't repented and is genuinely sorry for what he did then what's to stop him from doing it again?

The truth hurts but it's the pathway to salvation.
 
S

sorry

Guest
#8
#8
marialfc said:
Hi everyone... I've been married for a little less than two years and last year I found out that my husband had an affair with another woman, he kept it up throughout my pregnancy and I found out a month after our son was born. Now I think that she's pregnant and he's acting like nothing is wrong.
I don't know what to do, and I'm ready to call it quits.
He has been ok with me, but I know that he can do better, I lef him in June and last week he went to my mom and dad's were I was staying and got all my things back and told me that he wanted to work things out, now I don't know if its such a good idea.
Please help... I want to do Gods will but I just can't hear him.
any advise??
thank you!!
Click to expand...
hello i read your thread and it touched me. i can say many things helpfull or not. the most important thing to remember i think is that gods plan will play out acordenly. if i can be any help please ask i will try and do my best. hope this helped and GOD BLESS.
 
A

Amy81986

Guest
#9
#9
I dont know what your going thought. Im not married so i cant help you with what to do. But i will be praying for you. In church today we learned that Gods plan has been set in place for thousands of years so know that for what ever reason God wanted you to go though this situation. Keep praying God will lead you in the right direction. God bless you and your family!
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#10
#10
Guess i have to echo what someone said in an earlier post , u both need christian counseling , hes still shutting down about the issue so its doubtful he will go but hopefully he will.. for your sake .You have some major decisions to make alone if he wont go. A marriage CAN be healed from infedility BUT you need two willing partners for the healing to begin. Stay prayed up and keep your eyes on Him. My heart truly goes out to you, wish i could be of more help
 
J

JessicaN88

Guest
#11
#11
Anything can be fixed, but it will take time. But, he MUST be on the same page. If he is simply not interested in you and your feelings then he will do nothing but damage your family. You two must be together on this. Go to church together, read the Bible together, pray together, fast together..etc. Know that it's not him but a spirit that he is fighting with. Sometimes God may bring challenges to our lives to better ourselves and others. Keep trusting God and he will do GREAT things. Don't give up! Believe me, it happened to me and now I love my husband EVEN MORE despite what happened...now isn't that AMAZING.
 
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