Can a woman put away (divorce) her husband according to scripture?..

[rillolion]

I haven't found a verse in scripture that allows a woman to divorce her husband ...AND REMARRY....I also find it unscriptural to use Matthew 19 and use replacement theology and assume Messiah ment women to...
Let me make myself clear...Separation, yes. Divorce possibly according to 1 Corinthians 7:10,11....but remarriage definitely not...Romans 7:2,3 1Corinthians 7:39... For abuse....leave be safe...pray.for him. That's loving in the worse....also, a man watching pornography is not an excuse for divorce. It's gone in the heart against Yahweh, the physical union must be committed...even then there is no scripture for a WOMAN to divorce...show me please if I'm wrong....we disregard the old testament as archaic...and out of time...but the patriarchs had multiple wives...u won't read the opposite..and it wasn't sin!... There also isn't anywhere written saying it was outlawed in the new covenant...the woman was made for man...and many Christian feminist (an oxymoron)...will hate the truth...I wrote this so we can live according to scripture and save families....not to bash my sisters...


Shalom

 

[Tintin]

I think you'll find that God didn't sanction the 'patriarchs' to have multiple wives. He allowed it to happen but he didn't give polygamy his seal of approval.

 

[rillolion]

He gave Abigail to David...and told him he would have given him any woman if he'd have left Bathsheba alone....
Also Deuteronomy 21:15 says he did accept it...because he gave a command on the issue..

 

[BarlyGurl]

We are not under BONDAGE. While I am in NO WAY dismissing the OT teachings... I think you are reading them and making presumptuous inferences without studying the cultural context... (which isn't a crime, I just kinda have that idea so I am going with it here) in doing that you could miss some very vital information that would open the scripture more fully to you. In the NT the teaching of divorce is ABOUT THE HEART not the LAW and there is NO MALE OR FEMALE in Christ... meaning the sexes are EQUAL in value tho different in function. Submission doesn't not mean SUBSERVIENT. NO Christian is to divorce, except for immorality... this isn't about leaving the marriage to follow other desires... it is about living a sanctified life, abiding Christ an having a christian witness. A woman can divorce her husband who goes to prison because he abandoned her by his decision to to choose criminal behavior over the responsibilites and obligations of marriage. Truly, it is irrelevant whose name is on the PETITIONER LINE of a divorce certificate... nobody is fooling GOD... so you better be sure you are on the GOD side of the dividing line in ALL THINGS. Including the cause, guardianship of the children and divsion of property... If you are on GOD's side of the dividing line... HE IS ALWAYS FOR YOU! No fault divorce should NEVER be used by christians.. that is mutual divorce agreement... THere should ALWAYS be a cause cited in the suit... just as God gives cause in the OT. We have FREEDOM in Christ and are not to be brought under bondage to anything... and that includes being enslaved to a marriage contract where one party is entirely NOT fulling the essential points which make a marriage a marriage. Please Do not interpret that I take marriage or divorce lightly... I don't... Marriage is the foundational relationship to society and a Holy estate instituted by God... divorce is damaging is never good... but sometimes necessary to allow God to right some wrongs in the lives of his people. Marriage and divorce has become very disordered in the church and that is very greivious. I appreciate that you are investigating this topic to understand scripture more accurately.

 

[JGPS]

At the topic: 1 Cor 11 is the closest thing you get to addressing the issue. Don't do it, but if you do it then let her stay single or be reconciled. But that whole section of scripture is dealing with some time specific issues, so it may not be relevant anyway.

Really its not something that's addressed very thoroughly.

But the polygamy thing is clean cut, God allowed it and sanctioned and regulated it and didn't change it whatsoever in the New Testament.

 

[remus777]

The polygamy issue is an interesting topic, though I do not get the impression that the original poster wanted to discuss this. Careful search of the scripture clearly and historical research shows that God did not condone polygamy.

But on the issue of can a woman divorce her husband and remarry. God is not a respecter of persons so I imagine that what is good for a man is also good for a woman. I think most on here are of the opinion that God hates divorce, He allowed Moses to create a law governing divorce because of the hardness of man's heart, and that when two people come together in marriage, they become one flesh. With that, I would think that there is no reason for a woman or a man to divorce his or her spouse and remarry. Remarrying happens at death. Now for those who are remarried, I think God winks at times of ignorance, He examines the heart, He forgives and places you in the position as the one who knows. I can give a long list of scriptures to support this but I am too heartbroken, too emotionally exhausted. My wife has refused to speak to me since Sept., has not seen the kids since the same day, and I am struggling in my own faith that God can or will change her heart. Correction, I know He can. I am struggling with if He will.

At the topic: 1 Cor 11 is the closest thing you get to addressing the issue. Don't do it, but if you do it then let her stay single or be reconciled. But that whole section of scripture is dealing with some time specific issues, so it may not be relevant anyway.

Really its not something that's addressed very thoroughly.

But the polygamy thing is clean cut, God allowed it and sanctioned and regulated it and didn't change it whatsoever in the New Testament.

 

[BarlyGurl]

Remus,You are missing that we are not under the law but under Grace and there is NO winking by God involved... you are either divorced and remarried according to God's gracious provison or your are not. Perhaps the struggle you are having is "your flesh/his spirit". You wife has LEFT the home, left your protection, left your provision, abandoned your children as well as the marriage. The scripture says... "the believer is not bound, if the unbeliever leaves let them leave"... your wife is an UNBELIEVER... no matter how much time she spent under the roof of a congregational building... her "fruit" is that of an unbeliever. I think if you can take the time to accept this emotionally traumatizing truth... you will discover revival of strength and spirit. I am sorry you are going thru this.

 

[Pen014]

1st corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

if they aren't sanctified yes they can be put away.

 

[JGPS]

The polygamy issue is an interesting topic, though I do not get the impression that the original poster wanted to discuss this.

He included it in both his posts...

Careful search of the scripture clearly and historical research shows that God did not condone polygamy.

Clearly He didn't condone it. Condone would imply it was wrong in any sense. By regulating, providing for, and mandating it at times He openly approved of polygamy. How you could say otherwise and have read scripture is beyond me, but commentary over content when it comes to the bible right?

But on the issue of can a woman divorce her husband and remarry. God is not a respecter of persons so I imagine that what is good for a man is also good for a woman. I think most on here are of the opinion that God hates divorce, He allowed Moses to create a law governing divorce because of the hardness of man's heart, and that when two people come together in marriage, they become one flesh. With that, I would think that there is no reason for a woman or a man to divorce his or her spouse and remarry. Remarrying happens at death. Now for those who are remarried, I think God winks at times of ignorance, He examines the heart, He forgives and places you in the position as the one who knows. I can give a long list of scriptures to support this but I am too heartbroken, too emotionally exhausted. My wife has refused to speak to me since Sept., has not seen the kids since the same day, and I am struggling in my own faith that God can or will change her heart. Correction, I know He can. I am struggling with if He will.

For what its worth 'putting away' is a different concept than 'divorce' in scripture (and in modern life). Sadly most Christians don't understand that. It's the 'putting away' that God hates, specifically treacherous putting away.

If we look to scripture we see that the writ of divorcement makes a woman free to remarry, if we look to the Talmud we also see that in the Old Testament and the time of Christ she also takes with her all the land and property she brought into the marriage, and a portion of her earnings.

Divorce is expensive today, and it was then too. So men would put their wives away without a divorce, leave them with nothing, destitute. That is what was so treacherous. That is what God hates.

Also, since they where still technically married, if they got married again they would be adulterous. That is what Jesus was talking about. Note that the word Divorce doesn't show up in Mark 10:11-12, nor Matt 19:9. I suppose it may show up in some translations, but the root is 'put away' not 'divorce'.

One is the formal, proper way, in which the person wanting a divorce has to have proof of wrongdoing on the others part and everything is in public and the divorced spouse gets her things and freedom back. The other is treacherous, and stone-hard heartily throwing someone out with nothing and nowhere go go.

Big difference.

 

[rillolion]

He included it in both his posts...



Clearly He didn't condone it. Condone would imply it was wrong in any sense. By regulating, providing for, and mandating it at times He openly approved of polygamy. How you could say otherwise and have read scripture is beyond me, but commentary over content when it comes to the bible right?




For what its worth 'putting away' is a different concept than 'divorce' in scripture (and in modern life). Sadly most Christians don't understand that. It's the 'putting away' that God hates, specifically treacherous putting away.

If we look to scripture we see that the writ of divorcement makes a woman free to remarry, if we look to the Talmud we also see that in the Old Testament and the time of Christ she also takes with her all the land and property she brought into the marriage, and a portion of her earnings.

Divorce is expensive today, and it was then too. So men would put their wives away without a divorce, leave them with nothing, destitute. That is what was so treacherous. That is what God hates.

Also, since they where still technically married, if they got married again they would be adulterous. That is what Jesus was talking about. Note that the word Divorce doesn't show up in Mark 10:11-12, nor Matt 19:9. I suppose it may show up in some translations, but the root is 'put away' not 'divorce'.

One is the formal, proper way, in which the person wanting a divorce has to have proof of wrongdoing on the others part and everything is in public and the divorced spouse gets her things and freedom back. The other is treacherous, and stone-hard heartily throwing someone out with nothing and nowhere go go.

Big difference.

Sure he condoned it....Deuteronomy 21:15...also Yahweh.wouldn't.stand by and not address an issue like that in the Torah...the actual book of his law....and when he did address it there was no contempt against it...

 

[JGPS]

I think you misunderstand me Rill. To condone something means that that something is illegal, but forgiven or overlooked.

Because there was no contempt against it it was allowed, not merely condoned. I'm saying there was never anything bad about a polygamous family structure to begin with.

 

[Batman007]

JGPS do you practice polygamy? Or are you just in favor of it?

You don't have to answer if it's too personal, I'm just curious.

 

[JGPS]

No, we haven't found the right person for us yet. We've dated some, and once found someone we thought might be right for us, but it didn't work out in the end.

It's very tricky finding someone to fit in with a family rather than just another individual. Lately we very often don't have time to be looking for someone, so its been over a year since our last date. When we do date we usually do a couple separate 1 on 1 dates then an all three of us date though.

We keep in contact with a few polygamous groups, both like minded and of different ideologies. We're generally in the poly loop somewhat at least.

 

[Batman007]

No, we haven't found the right person for us yet. We've dated some, and once found someone we thought might be right for us, but it didn't work out in the end.

It's very tricky finding someone to fit in with a family rather than just another individual. Lately we very often don't have time to be looking for someone, so its been over a year since our last date. When we do date we usually do a couple separate 1 on 1 dates then an all three of us date though.

We keep in contact with a few polygamous groups, both like minded and of different ideologies. We're generally in the poly loop somewhat at least.

That's really interesting, thanks for sharing! I think you're the first person I've spoken to who practices (or is trying to practice) polygamy.

 

[JGPS]

I know quite a few, but I've been quite a few years accumulating contacts and I have an easy time getting them given my stances. A lot of polygamists in the states are reclusive because it's much more dangerous to be polygamous down there.

My wife is bi and I'm fairly insatiable so between the two of us it was an obvious choice.

 

[Batman007]

I know quite a few, but I've been quite a few years accumulating contacts and I have an easy time getting them given my stances. A lot of polygamists in the states are reclusive because it's much more dangerous to be polygamous down there.

My wife is bi and I'm fairly insatiable so between the two of us it was an obvious choice.

That's awesome!

Yeah, down here it's very much conditioned to be linked with extremist Mormons, where women aren't given much of a choice in the matter. It's pretty taboo. However, I know one couple who have an "open relationship". I don't know if they'd ever want to marry someone else but they definitely date people together.

I don't think it's something I chose just because I don't want to get married, but it would solve one of the biggest issues with marriage I see: I think a lot of couple get bored with each other. That definitely keeps things interesting, I'd imagine!

 

[PANCAKES]

So we're talking about polygamy? Okay. Well, I read something written by someone and it touched me deeply. I also agree with him. I don't think I could have more than one husband either, LOL.


"I am convicted that it would be sin for me [polygamy]; of that I have no doubt. I would be attempting to seek as much attention for myself as possible, which certainly isn't giving all glory to God. That may be different for others, and I would not question them if they felt it was both permissible and glorifying to Him. I simply cannot conceive of having more than one person to share my deepest, inner turmoils and triumphs with, not to mention my bed with, as I would view both as marital infidelity to the other wife (wives). Even if they offered me full permission, God has not.


What if both needed me as their closest prayer partner at the same time for something they only wanted between them, me and God? Which one do I choose to honor, and which one takes second place? How do I honor one wife by admitting to her that she doesn't complete me, that I am lacking in areas in which only this other woman can fill?


To me, it would be a purely selfish act, and selfishness is not of God."

 

[JGPS]

That's awesome!

Yeah, down here it's very much conditioned to be linked with extremist Mormons, where women aren't given much of a choice in the matter. It's pretty taboo. However, I know one couple who have an "open relationship". I don't know if they'd ever want to marry someone else but they definitely date people together.

I don't think it's something I chose just because I don't want to get married, but it would solve one of the biggest issues with marriage I see: I think a lot of couple get bored with each other. That definitely keeps things interesting, I'd imagine!

That's generally how the media portrays it. I've had conversations with a few 'compound style' FLDS, but not many. I've talked to quite a few 'urban' FLDS where the averedge person they know has no idea they're poly. There are quite a few evangelical christian polygamists nowdays, and messianics too. And naturally I know some from quite a few other walks of life, such as atheists, bhuddists, and a few others. I don't know any Muslim polygamists in North America though, oddly enough. They keep to their own circles I guess.

Most that I deal with classify themselves as polygynists specifically, and are different from an open relationship in that they're only looking for something long term and permanent. In every case but the extremes its a family vote before someone else is allowed into a family and no 'on the side' relationships are allowed. It's everyone or no one.

It's not about getting bored either. People are always growing and changing and interesting. I can't really see why couples get board of each other. I think they just let themselves become boring more than anything else.

 

[JGPS]

So we're talking about polygamy? Okay. Well, I read something written by someone and it touched me deeply. I also agree with him. I don't think I could have more than one husband either, LOL.


"I am convicted that it would be sin for me [polygamy]; of that I have no doubt. I would be attempting to seek as much attention for myself as possible, which certainly isn't giving all glory to God. That may be different for others, and I would not question them if they felt it was both permissible and glorifying to Him. I simply cannot conceive of having more than one person to share my deepest, inner turmoils and triumphs with, not to mention my bed with, as I would view both as marital infidelity to the other wife (wives). Even if they offered me full permission, God has not.

It's a very superficial statement. I doubt the person who wrote it knows much about the setup. If you're getting into any marriage because you want more attention on yourself you're doing it for the wrong reason. I'd say that person probably shouldn't get married at all as long as they look at marriage like that. Celibacy is an honourable option.

Also the person who wrote that needs some better freinds. I would hate to have only one person to confide in, even if I was totally unmarried. Having many freinds to share trials, turmoils, and triumphs with is an important part of life. Polygamy has nothing to do with that.

And, as discusses here, God has given the permission, so that point is moot.

To be honest that objection to polygamy shows a great deal of the problems with relationships in our culture as a whole. Marriage is about them getting attention, and they are so cut off they can't imagine sharing their life with others. This is why people have fewer close freinds and high divorce rates...

What if both needed me as their closest prayer partner at the same time for something they only wanted between them, me and God?Which one do I choose to honor, and which one takes second place?

And again, we come into something that points out problems with people in our society, not problems with polygamy., You need good time management to manage a family of any kind. If finding a way to make yourself available to them is a problem you'd have just as many problems splitting your time between kids.

But realistically they will be close in a way where they want to share their prayer time with each other. It's not two separate relationships, but the three of us working together.

How do I honor one wife by admitting to her that she doesn't complete me, that I am lacking in areas in which only this other woman can fill?

Why where you incomplete when you where single? Neither partner should be incomplete when single, though together they can make a greater whole than either would individually.

Again, you're looking at marriage primarily as a way to fill needs and make up for deficiencies. I don't have that mindset, so the question is irrational to me.

To me, it would be a purely selfish act, and selfishness is not of God."

You should step back and take a look at your own outlook on marriage. It's not just polygamy that you're seeing as a selfish act. Most of what you're saying makes even a first marriage a selfish act. You've got a bad outlook on marriage there, you've got to adjust that perspective.

Marriage is for the self, for the other person, for the family, for the community, and for the future. There are personal benefits to marriage, but a great deal of the product of marriage is hard work and contributing to the future. There is and has to be more give than get in marriage. A lot of people think like you and are looking at what they can get in a marriage first, and thats a big contribute to the divorce levels we're seeing today.

 

[Batman007]

That's generally how the media portrays it. I've had conversations with a few 'compound style' FLDS, but not many. I've talked to quite a few 'urban' FLDS where the averedge person they know has no idea they're poly. There are quite a few evangelical christian polygamists nowdays, and messianics too. And naturally I know some from quite a few other walks of life, such as atheists, bhuddists, and a few others. I don't know any Muslim polygamists in North America though, oddly enough. They keep to their own circles I guess.

Most that I deal with classify themselves as polygynists specifically, and are different from an open relationship in that they're only looking for something long term and permanent. In every case but the extremes its a family vote before someone else is allowed into a family and no 'on the side' relationships are allowed. It's everyone or no one.

It's not about getting bored either. People are always growing and changing and interesting. I can't really see why couples get board of each other. I think they just let themselves become boring more than anything else.

Again, interesting stuff!

Oh yeah, I get that difference between polygamy and open relationships. I was just saying that the couple in the open relationship is the closest thing I know to polygamy, which isn't really close now that you say that.

Well, this is my thing on it. I love my mom to death, I really do, but I've lived with her for 18 years and I'm really tired of living with her. I find her interesting still, we can still talk a lot, but if I had to live with her for another couple years we'd end up fighting all the time. In fact anyone I really care about I can't imagine being with for my whole life.

I'm also a child of divorced parents, so I think I see marriage a lot different than someone who's parents remained together. I just can't imagine being with one person forever, it just seems... unnatural, I guess.