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Thread: Cheating Husband

  1. #1
    chase1956
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    Default Cheating Husband

    I need advice on what I should do about my husband. He told me he has been seeing another women. This has been going on for 16 months. He said he has stopped seeing her now. He began getting migrated with me before this started and he would verably abuse me. I would get hurt feelings and not talk to him fo r awhile. I was trying not to make things worse so I would just keep quiet. He took it that I didn't want to be married to him anymore. He did this for years and finally the last time he said that to me, I said to him that I have tried everything I could to get along with him but, nothing I did satisfied him and I told him, I didn't have anything else to give. He took that I didn't want to be married to him so he started talking to this other women. He said there was no sex involved that they only talked on The phone and they went out to lunch one time and she stopped by the office one time when I was not there and they talked for a long time and she kissed him when she was leaving. He said they onle kissed and hugged a total of 3 times the whole 16 months, the rest of the time they only talked on the phone.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Samohito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    IMO; better you talk to him nicely that you don't like him to contact that lady anymore. If you only quiet, your husband will think that you don't care about him. You have to face it and don't put your ego. Sometimes men going to see another women, its because they don't get what they expect from their wife. I think we have to understand each other as well.

    The last; please keep it in pray, ask God to give you the best solution, cause the only God can be sure to solve your marriage problem. Keep in spirit sister !
    brokenclay likes this.
    Without God I'm nothing......

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    I don't believe they just kissed and hugged for a whole 16months, you should leave him and move on he will only keep hurting you. Hope you sort things out.

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Sorry, but I can't buy that "only kissed and hugged."
    No man would hang around for 16 months for just a hug and a kiss.
    Do I have proof? Of course not, but as a man who used to be an absolute pig with women, I would have to say he is lying.
    Lies are like roaches. Where there's one, theres' hundreds more.
    In my understanding, he already broke any covenant between God, you and your husband.
    Being married is not a get out of jail free card when one cheats.
    That would mean, people could cheat and still hold the spouse under that marriage.
    Being married is not about some document that says you are married.
    It is about having God in that marriage and forgiving and reconciling when times are tough.
    Blatant, continual cheating means he did not treasure that covenant.
    I could be wrong. I would not tolerate it. I would have lost the trust.
    There is always the risk of disease too.
    The thing that follows lies, are excuses.
    I hope you don't decide to get revenge buy doing the same as he did.

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Quote Originally Posted by chase1956 View Post
    I need advice on what I should do about my husband. He told me he has been seeing another women. This has been going on for 16 months. He said he has stopped seeing her now. He began getting migrated with me before this started and he would verably abuse me. I would get hurt feelings and not talk to him fo r awhile. I was trying not to make things worse so I would just keep quiet. He took it that I didn't want to be married to him anymore. He did this for years and finally the last time he said that to me, I said to him that I have tried everything I could to get along with him but, nothing I did satisfied him and I told him, I didn't have anything else to give. He took that I didn't want to be married to him so he started talking to this other women. He said there was no sex involved that they only talked on The phone and they went out to lunch one time and she stopped by the office one time when I was not there and they talked for a long time and she kissed him when she was leaving. He said they onle kissed and hugged a total of 3 times the whole 16 months, the rest of the time they only talked on the phone.
    Lets take this to the word of God, not any opinions of mere men!

    Now I assume you and your husband profess to be of Christ?

    And if you answer yes, then what a shame to the blood of Christ, who came to set manind free from the bondages of sin! Your husband is lukewarm and in great sin against you and God, giving his attrention to another woman then abusing you, I sure hope you dont have children involved.

    I am not here to tell you to just wait on the lord and all will be well, but I will tell you, you both need to repent, and come clean and clear before God, you husband is having an emotional affair with another woman, and is an adulterer! Adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God, Galations 5-19-21, and need to repent, and seek the mercy of God, as well as making amends with you and your family.

    You work on your relationship with the Lord, make sure you are in the faith for real, and stand to be a strong witness for your family and your wayward husband, he will see a change in you, and hopefully be convicted of his sins before its too late!

    A Call to Repentance
    Joel,2-12 “Now, therefore,” says the LORD,
    “Turn to Me with all your heart,
    With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
    13 So rend your heart, and not your garments;
    Return to the LORD your God,
    For He is gracious and merciful,
    Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
    And He relents from doing harm.
    14 Who knows if He will turn and relent,
    And leave a blessing behind Him—
    Here is more strong proof what the lord requires of His creation to be reconciled to Himself, it’s very simple but made so complicated by the heaps and heaps of pastors and ministries who have the nerve to say mankind does NOT have to repent to be saved.
    They come with a simple plan that was concocted by many reformed preachers and bible scholars, making the way to the cross more of a simple confession you are a sinner, then accepting the great substitution Jesus miraculously made for them, but they fail to give any proof that the word of God let alone the King of Kings taught this non sense!
    Many will fight with all they have to preserve their man made doctrines including original sin, which then gives them many excuses to ignore the powerful verse above as well as many more strong warnings to repent, turn, come broken in heart before the mercy seat, and hope and pray God will grant pardon!
    Now if this was being preached in the church system today, and well understood by the saved in sin defenders, then the mess Christianity is in today would not be so, instead, the word of God would become real, and powerful, converting the lost soul, once in love with sin, rebellion and the world, now cleansed and purged of all filthiness, and wickedness, ready to receive the implanted word of God!
    But today these verses are totally ignored, and replaced with a sin message, undermined by many, many, reformed errors, where simple repentance is lost in a sea of original sin, imputation, substitution, OSAS etc, producing a church that was called poor, blind and naked by Jesus Himself!
    2 Corinthians 6;17 The.refore
    “Come out from among them
    And be separate, says the Lord.
    Do not touch what is unclean,
    And I will receive you.”[d]
    18 “I will be a Father to you,
    And you shall be My sons and daughters,
    Says the LORD Almighty.”[e]
    Act 26:20 But to those first in Damascus, and Jerusalem, and to all the country of Judea, and to the nations, I made known the command to repent and to turn to God, doing works worthy of repentance.
    Tommy
    PS. We must come to Jesus on His terms, not mans, I know many are taught the opposite today, they either were indoctrinated into these teachings at an early age, and refuse to even search the scriptures, search what the early church taught, or dig deep to see just how far off the mark many liberal translations of the Bible are.
    When the reformation came about, around the year 1500, many denominations were formed that took these errors and built on them, leading to what we have today! Many will profess anything different from what their beloved denominations teach is heresy, and a lie, especially those who cling to Calvinism, or any form of it.
    This I understand, and accept, as God predicted this would happen, when the few remnant come with the truth. But it’s a bitter pill to swallow, when you see so many sincere people, young and old, so angry and upset when the truth is presented to them, and they attack the messenger.
    To me this shows just how far off the mark they are in their minds, they love the lie, refuse to hear anything else except the born sinner, Jesus sub plan, made so famous by the likes of Billy Graham, Ed Young, and many more mega preachers, selling a gospel that is totally backwards from what the early church and Christ taught.
    Are we full of pride and arrogant to say these things? Are we evil, uncaring, and full of hate when we confront the wall of deception accepted as truth today?
    I guess I can also say this about the many who cling to the saved IN sin message, repeat after me crowd, who has every excuse why they can sin with impunity, then just confess, and then continue as a vile sinner in heart, where purity and separation is a pipe dream never to be accomplished in this life, even though the whole council of God is against them.
    Dig deep as commanded, have some confidence in the Lord to lead you into truth, not some ministry or church pastor you support, who clings to these errors for whatever reason.
    The gospel according to godliness is a TO DO gospel, which can only be received and understood in its form and context when the sinner wakes up and does this:
    James 1-21-22;
    21 So get rid of all uncleanness(repent) and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls.
    22 But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth].!
    1, You repent first and foremost, see 2 Corinthians 7-10-11.
    2, Then if the repentance is real, and from the heart, godly sorrow as described in 2 Corinthians, you then can receive the implanted word of God, and understand it as written by God.
    3, Now you become a passionate doer of the word, obeying God from your heart, cleansed and purified, broken and willing to learn and grow more, and more in His great truth.

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    No sinner will inherit the Kingdom. That mean ANY sin, big or small.
    Funny how we focus on the big sins .
    "that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them." (2 Cor 5:19)
    That means those who committed murder, adultery, stealing a candy bar, lying to our spouses, yelling at the guy who cut us off on the road.
    I seem to notice in most places, it is the man who demands the women to forgive the man's adultery.
    To me, it goes back to the word "repentance."
    If my wife was repenting and then sinning, then repenting, then sinning, then repenting, it would not take long to realize I was dealing with a very troubled liar.
    One is called to forgive, but likewise the other is called to live a life the way God wants us to live.
    If the wife is unable to forgive the husband's continual adultery, remember, he is failing to live up to his promises.
    Are we to forgive 1,000 acts of adultery? Yes we are, but God knows our limits.
    I could not believe any spouse would forgive 1,000 acts of adultery.
    The husband continually cheats and now the wife is the culprit for wanting a divorce?
    People who take no accountability always blame the other for their own act.

    Many Christians are like reformed smokers.
    They forget how hard it was to quit, yet when they do quit, they themselves become the most unforgiving.
    Sexual sin is extremely hard to permanently repent from.
    It is a daily occurrence to let the Lord place His strength in our hearts.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    One thing to think about...

    When you cut your husband off and stop talking to him, a few things might happen. One he will start to feel lonely and over time, may long for intimacy from another woman. Two, he may feel like he is in a hopeless situation were nothing he can do is good enough to salvage the relationship.

    He still has responsibilities and I am not making excuses for him. All I am saying is you as his wife can do better than simply cut him off emotionally. When men try to fix the relationship (by hugging, kissing, giving gifts or cards or whatever..) it is because they care. Yet at some point if the woman does not respond to him, he will, at some point, assume the relationship is dead and give up.

    Having said all that, there is one thing I suggest you do. Pray and listen for God to direct your life. My wife cheated on me with two men and is now living with a lesbian. God has told me to not file for divorce and after 5 years, I have not done so. Ask God to give you direction in this matter.

    Marriage is not about getting our needs met. It is about serving God.
    BarlyGurl likes this.

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    To some there is calling for that.
    I would not put the burden of celibacy on another.
    You were wounded and can easily feel there is ot need for intimacy, while others cannot.
    Serving your wife is what God desires.
    You must love your wife as Christ loved the church.
    I would not put the burden of a spouse's throwing away of the marriage on the innocent one.
    You may have not divorced where the sate recognizes it, but your wife has made the choice to give it all away.

    My ex-wife threw me out of the house becaeu she didn't want to be with me.
    She wanted kids. That was her priority, not being with me.
    She found new man, had a baby and is happier than ever.
    I do agree that God will give direction, but many times it is personal to the one He speaks to.
    God hated my divorce, but many times we do what God hates.
    That is what is so screwy about us humans.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Will he go to counseling with you? A third party can really help open up the communication. You two CAN heal your relationship if you put forth the effort. You are totally not communicating with each other....get help! Be ready to talk more and be ready to forgive and start over. It's never too late to start again.

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