No Children

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Bluezote

Guest
#1
#1
Hello Everyone,

I am a thiry something year old woman who has been married for just over 5 years. My husband and I have decided not to have children. This is not a common decision for married people esspecially Christian married people. But I am sure it is God's will for my husband and I to not have children.

I am great with kids, or so I have been told. I love them. I grew up around them. My family is very large and I became an aunt for the first time when I was 7. I adore kids. I have been a nanny 3 times for different families and a sunday school teacher, T.A. and sub teacher in my past. But i have never had the desire to be a mother.


When deciding to date and get married to my husband we discussed this and he does not want children either. Had he wanted them we may not have started dateing. I would not want to hold him back from something that important. Scince we got married his feelings on the matter have gone back and forth esspecially after his own fathers recent death. We prayerfully discussed the topic and I prayed for God to change my heart if it was His will for us to have children. My heart has not changed and my husband has realized that his desire for kids is a sentimental one brought on by being the only male in the family now and passing on the family name.

I have found that it is hard to find people who understand our decision or support it. I have felt pressure from his side of the family to become a mother. My side of the family knows very well where I stand on the matter.

I thought I would start a thread for anyone else who has made the same decision and needs support or just wants to chat about family topics that do not involve children. I see many many groups for mothers and fathers. There are tons of Christian devotionals for married women but most of them are for mothers. It is hard to find any christian divotionals for women who are single or do not have children. It is also hard to find christian chat rooms for anyone over a certain age that does not include kids.

I just wanna talk about everyday life. Movies, books, chores, marriage, dogs, ect...
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#2
#2
I think this post will be a great blessing for anyone who finds themselves in the same situation as you. I don't think it's wrong for married couples to not want kids. The bible says be fruitful and multiply, but there are many others ways to multiply than just by having kids. Think of the impact you could have on young singles, or young married couples. Not to mention just being part of a children's ministry and blessing kids that way :)
 
Outsider

Outsider

Banned
#3
Apr 13, 2013
76
0
0
#3
zaoman32 said:
I think this post will be a great blessing for anyone who finds themselves in the same situation as you. I don't think it's wrong for married couples to not want kids. The bible says be fruitful and multiply, but there are many others ways to multiply than just by having kids. Think of the impact you could have on young singles, or young married couples. Not to mention just being part of a children's ministry and blessing kids that way :)
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Does this mean Christians can accept homosexuality?
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#4
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
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#4
Outsider said:
Does this mean Christians can accept homosexuality?
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1 cor 6:9-11

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality,[SUP]10 [/SUP]or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.[SUP]11 [/SUP]Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.


Feel free to read all of 1 cor, to get a more broad version... :)



P.s. sorry for side tracking the OP, I have no knowledge on such tho... :( Sorry
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#5
#5
I was married for 9 years & one of the things that drew me to my now ex-wife was the fact that she did not desire to have children either. I used to get hounded all the time when I was single by the members in my church that I should someday when married have children,simply because they had witnessed my ability to nurture them or understand them. I have nothing against children I would say...but I just in my heart do not feel I am called to have any...God has not given me that desire. Of course I received various responses from,"Oh,God will change your heart once you meet the right lady" to "That's unbiblical..you are to be fruitful & multiply,end of discussion!"
Now,I have dated women with children before and had no issues with that,but I always made clear to them that I didn't want to have a child with them. If they could accept it,fine..if not,fine...I'll be on my way. Most christian women I met when I was young all wanted children. I did not. Hence one of the (poor reasons) I ended up marrying an unbeliever.
I say stick to your guns. If you & your husband do not feel a calling to make babies..then by all means don't. No one but God knows & sees your hearts & if other believers can't accept your decision,well they should pray for themselves to get over it & ask God to give them more love & understanding. God Bless!!!
 
Outsider

Outsider

Banned
#7
Apr 13, 2013
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#7
MissCris said:
...seriously?
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Yeah, I'm serious!

T_Laurich said:
1 cor 6:9-11

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality,[SUP]10 [/SUP]or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.[SUP]11 [/SUP]Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.


Feel free to read all of 1 cor, to get a more broad version... :)



P.s. sorry for side tracking the OP, I have no knowledge on such tho... :( Sorry
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You're telling me that homosexuality is a sin because God said so. But why would God make it a sin?
 
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MissCris

Guest
#8
#8
Outsider said:
Does this mean Christians can accept homosexuality?
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I just don't get why you had to bring that to this thread. It's intended for married couples who don't have/don't want children- WHICH IS FINE- to talk about non-child related things. Why that has anything to do with homosexuality, or rather, why YOU THINK that has anything to do with homosexuality, I have no idea.

That's all I'ma say on this subject, I'll not be part of the inevitable derailing that's going to happen.
 
Outsider

Outsider

Banned
#9
Apr 13, 2013
76
0
0
#9
MissCris said:
I just don't get why you had to bring that to this thread. It's intended for married couples who don't have/don't want children- WHICH IS FINE- to talk about non-child related things. Why that has anything to do with homosexuality, or rather, why YOU THINK that has anything to do with homosexuality, I have no idea.

That's all I'ma say on this subject, I'll not be part of the inevitable derailing that's going to happen.
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I apologize. You're right, it isn't on topic.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#10
Apr 18, 2013
9,318
2,411
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#10
I can't imagine why anyone would care whether or not you have kids.

I think mankind has done a perfectly good job of fruitfully multiplying.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#11
#11
I don't think you owe the world an explanation for your decision to not have kids. It shouldn't be anyone elses business besides you and your husband. :)

I personally don't desire to be a mother either. I couldn't marry a man who wanted to be a father. I just don't want kids. For a lot of personal reasons that I won't get into here. the short version is I wouldn't want them to wind up messed up in the head.
 
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Bluezote

Guest
#12
#12
In my community it is just what you do. Get married and have babies. But I have encountered others outside of the community that believe that it is a biblical command to have children. That if you are able to have them than you should have them. Because if God did not want you to have kids then you wouldn't be able to have them. And to that I say "what about couples who can't have kids? Should they adopt? If God wanted them to have children then He would have made it so"

Of course I totally am for adoption and have considered it. I am open to giving a home to an older child who needs one. I just do not want to be pregnant or give birth or deal with pampers and 2 o clock feedings and all that jazz.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#13
#13
when I was 14 I once shocked a catholic woman (and mother of 8) cause me and her oldest daughters and some other girls were all talking about how many kids we want someday, and I naively said within her earshot "I don't want to have any".

She laughed and said, "What?? Are you gonna become a nun or something??" As if that were the only acceptable alternative. :p It was funny lol.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#14
#14
Relena7 said:
when I was 14 I once shocked a catholic woman (and mother of 8) cause me and her oldest daughters and some other girls were all talking about how many kids we want someday, and I naively said within her earshot "I don't want to have any".

She laughed and said, "What?? Are you gonna become a nun or something??" As if that were the only acceptable alternative. :p It was funny lol.
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ahhh those nutty catholics. LOL Bless
 
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intercessorginger

Guest
#16
#16
The decision to have or not have children is completely within your rights as a married couple and in my opinion you have no reason to feel bad about it. it's a decision that you and your husband can make and I do not believe there is any sin in that at all.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#17
#17
I know a couple who are happily married and they have decided not to have kids either. they have a few cats. :) they seem happy with the decision.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#18
#18
Actually only 1/3 of the topics in the Family forum are kid based. Most of the rest are about divorce/remarriage/separation, and then some random topics pop up.
 
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destinyinjesus86

Guest
#19
#19
Hi,
A unique and interesting topic. A long story of an abusive life for me. My parents separate and real mother too reserved in the emotional field. Have been adopted very late by someone who had 2 kids, but like a mother to me. Also my aunt has no kids, but honestly, does a much better job in the caring and emotional field. Myself too, am planning to marry late, not to have kids, but adopt instead.
 
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Bluezote

Guest
#20
#20
Wow thats great that you want to open your home and heart to someone who needs love and support. God bless you!
 
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