What is you mother-son/daughter relationship like
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I strive to be everything my mother is not. My dad won custody of me when I was one, and for good reason. My mom spent her time with me drunk and/or high or having me entertain myself in her bar while she bar tended during the day. Oh, or my sister and I spent it in AA. She drug me through countless toxic relationships (one with an abuser that she just rekindled a relationship with about 3 months ago now) and knows exactly the right manipulative words to say to get me crying for hours. I watched as she basically gave up parenting my sister, 5 years my junior, and let my sister get mixed up in the wrong crowd.. And now that I have her first grandchild she wants to move closer to me and pollute my life along with hers. Needless to say she always finds a way to ruin our relationship when we are finally getting a long. My mother/daughter relationship isn't a good one.
I am so sorry! I had a hard time of it, too, for different reasons. I used what I learned for strength. You have a heavenly creator who designed you, and that design is wonderful. Your creator also gives each of us His personal love. We are each made different from every other person, even our fingertips are different. You can have absolute faith in this love of your creator for just you. There were times I thought I was alone, but as I look back I find I wasn't. And many times God sent help when I was in a tough spot.
It is as if our roots grow strong and deep when we have to face and learn in tough times. With our strength, then, we can help others.
It is as if our roots grow strong and deep when we have to face and learn in tough times. With our strength, then, we can help others.
I feel like both a failure and a burden on my mother. I feel like we are most distant than two galaxies nowadays.
My mother used to be the most affectionate, tender and gentle woman Ive ever met. She was my epitome of angelic and beautiful. Everything that I knew of hospitality and kindness was portrayed in my mother.
And it is as though the world has sucked that away from her and left her with only the anxiety, fear and hardness that comes from being trod on so much that she only expects the worst from the world now. And I dont know how to make her feel better anymore.
I feel responsible, not only for contributing to her pessimism and her bad times, but also for not having the capacity to turn it around.
I still remember times as a child when my mother and I would be close, happy, upbeat and hopeful. We had a relationship, you could say, like a lion and her cub. She could be fierce and fiery when something threatened her life, but also protective and gentle when need be.
And her protectiveness and fire was skewed into a smothering direction partly due to the mindset of the man she is currently with, and partly due to the fact that she had no real support system of her own; his idea of putting an alternative view across is to berate and mock the one she has.
And over the years Ive watched my family, siblings and mother become quick to point fingers and berate and mock and never eager to listen, to build up or to understand.
I feel more alone and distant from my family than I've ever felt in my life.
My mother used to be the most affectionate, tender and gentle woman Ive ever met. She was my epitome of angelic and beautiful. Everything that I knew of hospitality and kindness was portrayed in my mother.
And it is as though the world has sucked that away from her and left her with only the anxiety, fear and hardness that comes from being trod on so much that she only expects the worst from the world now. And I dont know how to make her feel better anymore.
I feel responsible, not only for contributing to her pessimism and her bad times, but also for not having the capacity to turn it around.
I still remember times as a child when my mother and I would be close, happy, upbeat and hopeful. We had a relationship, you could say, like a lion and her cub. She could be fierce and fiery when something threatened her life, but also protective and gentle when need be.
And her protectiveness and fire was skewed into a smothering direction partly due to the mindset of the man she is currently with, and partly due to the fact that she had no real support system of her own; his idea of putting an alternative view across is to berate and mock the one she has.
And over the years Ive watched my family, siblings and mother become quick to point fingers and berate and mock and never eager to listen, to build up or to understand.
I feel more alone and distant from my family than I've ever felt in my life.
H
That is so sad to read Porthos, but I know our God can restore and heal, He is a God of the impossible. I pray you will have peace as you wait on the Lord and that He will convince you of the power of prayer. I also hope that you will know you are not responsible. Yes, we can all act and contribute...but how we choose to respond? Well, that's our responsibility. God loves you and your family and He can restore harmony. Your family is not just by blood, you are in Gods family. So you need never feel alone. God Bless, <><
I
Having read Porthos's testimony brings sadness. Love can heal any deep wound. The love between mother and son can never be compared to any other love. Love can heal the wounds of the soul. That love is always within the hearts of loved ones with a fear not to show it. A fear that threatens to hurt. God can bring that love back. Prayer is the answer. Ask God's Holy Spirit to guide you. He will show the way for His people. Above all else, it can never hurt to give love. And to receive love is not hurtful too. To love is good, all the time.
S
My relationship with my mother was actually never the best one around. It seems she gets far better along with my sisters and brother. I can never understand why though.
With all the stress she went through her whole life, I could understand the current anxiety and anger she holds - all her life she's running away from poorness, and hates whenever we have to start from the absolute zero. There was never any affection in my family, so no hugs or kisses or anything similar. Her mentality seems to be "I'm alive and only working for my children."
When I turned Christian couple months ago, it seems that she holds deep grudge against me (she's catholic and doesn't approve). I respect her much and obey nearly all she's asking me to do (besides bad things). I cannot understand why does she claim that I don't show her respect though. She's very prideful and I hate that much, mainly because if she messes up in something, she will throw the blame on me instead and explain silly reasons of why.
And many, many other reasons..
With all the stress she went through her whole life, I could understand the current anxiety and anger she holds - all her life she's running away from poorness, and hates whenever we have to start from the absolute zero. There was never any affection in my family, so no hugs or kisses or anything similar. Her mentality seems to be "I'm alive and only working for my children."
When I turned Christian couple months ago, it seems that she holds deep grudge against me (she's catholic and doesn't approve). I respect her much and obey nearly all she's asking me to do (besides bad things). I cannot understand why does she claim that I don't show her respect though. She's very prideful and I hate that much, mainly because if she messes up in something, she will throw the blame on me instead and explain silly reasons of why.
And many, many other reasons..
H
My parents both died when I was 23. My father of cancer, 3 months later my mother was killed in a car crash by a drunk driver. They adopted and adored my brother an I. No, not perfect 
but loving parents who wanted the best for us. Both were believers and I shall see them again one day....they never lived on earth, long enough to see me come to my Lord, I attended church, was a 'Christian girl' but totally lost. A Christian I was not! My mother had a strong, unshakable yet quiet faith. I know she prayed for my brother and I. The importance of family, of spending time together, valuing each other for being 'just you' was something I wanted for my little family. I have been so blessed. 3 children, my second daughter at 3 months went home to be with Jesus but my daughter and son, continue to give me such joy here in this fleeting sojourn through life. I do not know if my daughter is saved....but, I adore her, she is beautiful, kind, funny and a delight to my heart. We spend lots of time together, she listens to me when we discuss the Lord...she questions, she knows I pray for her. She does not ridicule my faith, nor dismiss it as she knows it is all to me, who I am. My son is walking with Jesus, he is 17 and a gentle witness, He would like to work with young people, is humble, very handsome ( ok, i am biased but he was asked to model for Abercombie & Fitch....he declined , his choice ) and great fun. There is so much laughter in our home when we get together and both my children love to spend time with there parents, holiday with us still ( not all the time and God has blessed me SO much. My relationships with my children are different, because they do not both share a Biblical world view, but it is in no way less precious and loving. Having had the experiences i have had, i try not to take anything for granted. Life is precious, value every minute. Make sure, Christ is the Lord of your house and your family. God Bless <><
but loving parents who wanted the best for us. Both were believers and I shall see them again one day....they never lived on earth, long enough to see me come to my Lord, I attended church, was a 'Christian girl' but totally lost. A Christian I was not! My mother had a strong, unshakable yet quiet faith. I know she prayed for my brother and I. The importance of family, of spending time together, valuing each other for being 'just you' was something I wanted for my little family. I have been so blessed. 3 children, my second daughter at 3 months went home to be with Jesus but my daughter and son, continue to give me such joy here in this fleeting sojourn through life. I do not know if my daughter is saved....but, I adore her, she is beautiful, kind, funny and a delight to my heart. We spend lots of time together, she listens to me when we discuss the Lord...she questions, she knows I pray for her. She does not ridicule my faith, nor dismiss it as she knows it is all to me, who I am. My son is walking with Jesus, he is 17 and a gentle witness, He would like to work with young people, is humble, very handsome ( ok, i am biased but he was asked to model for Abercombie & Fitch....he declined , his choice ) and great fun. There is so much laughter in our home when we get together and both my children love to spend time with there parents, holiday with us still ( not all the time and God has blessed me SO much. My relationships with my children are different, because they do not both share a Biblical world view, but it is in no way less precious and loving. Having had the experiences i have had, i try not to take anything for granted. Life is precious, value every minute. Make sure, Christ is the Lord of your house and your family. God Bless <><
My Mom and I talk a lot, but there are things I won't discuss with her. She's very set in her ways, that's fine , she's 75 and very healthy. My dad died when I was 16. My Mom stayed single for 20 years. She's now married to a great man whom I love like a father. My Mom is not an easy person to live with so I feel bad for him sometimes. I love my Mom but she can be a stick in the mud sometimes.
As my Mom grows older I know she'll need me more in time. I plan on being there to help her and my step dad. I don't mind. I am easy going and that makes our relationship good. I listen to her gripes about politics. Sometimes I agree with her, but I just listen and talk a little, I don't want to argue. She's taught me a lot about the Bible and I really appreciate that.
My Mom won't be here forever, so while she is I want to enjoy the time we have together.
As my Mom grows older I know she'll need me more in time. I plan on being there to help her and my step dad. I don't mind. I am easy going and that makes our relationship good. I listen to her gripes about politics. Sometimes I agree with her, but I just listen and talk a little, I don't want to argue. She's taught me a lot about the Bible and I really appreciate that.
My Mom won't be here forever, so while she is I want to enjoy the time we have together.
J
My mom and I have had a roller coaster of a relationship. When I was a child I practically raised myself. I would sometimes go 2 weeks without seeing my parents any communication would be done through notes on the kitchen table. Both of my parents have struggled with addictions and still do to this day. My mom was drinking heavily by the time I was 12 and would say the most awful things to me and call me names. I never had affection (which I struggled with when I got married) but there were some good things about her as well. She was fiercely protective of me and taught me to stand up for myself. Now this teaching didn't do her well as I got older. We would scream at each other I recognized the way she treated me wasn't right and we argued a lot. Everything made a big switch when I was about 20. I was supporting myself. Took 3 jobs to do it but I had been doing it since I was 18 . I had my own apartment all by myself and was very independent. I found at this point my mother started to lean on me more. Our relationship is probably a little out of the ordinary. I find that now I feel more like a mother to her. I have forgiven her years ago. I grew up and realized my mom only did the hurtful things she did because she was hurting inside from traumas she had endured as a child. I didn't want this pain in my life and I chose to let it go and instead of being hateful for how she treated me I realized she just needed someone to understand her pain. I now have 2 children of my own. Both are girls and I make sure I teach them the good I learned from my mother and I leave out the bad. I make sure I do the little things that I never had as a child. The hugs and kisses goodnight, the praise, stories at bedtime and just being available in general. Being a mother is a very difficult job but it is the most wonderful experience. Nobody is perfect but mothers definitely try. Some mothers just get lost and don't see the beauty and love in the child right in front of them. My mother moved 16hrs away 2years ago and I miss her so very much. We are very close and have a very easy relationship. I can talk with her about anything and the same goes for her. So for me all of it was worth it. I wouldn't trade her for anything she is my mother and I love her.
C
Lol my mom "coddled" me. A spiritual person told me that in a prophetic word and I had to look it up. She was basically overprotective, and she babied me I guess. Now pastors and others have told me that i'm a man now and I have to step out on my own, do stuff on my own, etc. without her help. I'm doing pretty good for myself so far, but i'll admit part of me wishes I was raised different because I feel behind a little bit... It's one of my struggles, learning to be a man. I'll get there though. We always had a good relationship, but she did have some anger problems before she got healed. She admits that she's a different person now than she was.
She's a great mom though, she gives me great advice about the Holy Spirit when I need it, and she makes me feel better when i'm struggling. Even though she was a bit overprotective, i'm still very fortunate to have a mom like her. I love her to pieces.
I definitely have some 'daddy issues' though... He's not in the right place... But hopefully he'll change.
We always had a good relationship, but she did have some anger problems before she got healed. She admits that she's a different person now than she was.She's a great mom though, she gives me great advice about the Holy Spirit when I need it, and she makes me feel better when i'm struggling. Even though she was a bit overprotective, i'm still very fortunate to have a mom like her. I love her to pieces.
I definitely have some 'daddy issues' though... He's not in the right place... But hopefully he'll change.
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K
I had drug addicted parents my dad died in 2005 from coke us my moms still using. I have be diagnosised with PTSD and currently take 3 anti depression 1 anxiety pill because I was molested 6 times during my childhood I was denied SSI because I could. Not be honest about her addiction to crack and felt I needed to protect her I have anxiety attacks so bad I've stayed in my home for weeks at a time. She's lied on me about me and destroyed some of the most important relationships in my life I'm ready to just burn the bridge so I can began a real life with my son without her deception. She has the rest of my family thinking drinking is my problem when she knows damn well its her crackaddiction and the she doesn't give a damn