Or rather, a soon-to-be divorced man (he did introduce himself as divorced, though).
I'm a born again Christian.
I met this guy online. He seems nice; of course I have a lot of work to do as far as getting to know him better, which is always the case with online dating.
While he says he does not use the term "born again," he does seem to have the same beliefs I do; so I suppose the issue is with the term itself or something else. Like me, he is seeking to form a relationship founded on Christ.
Now, to my question. He is in the process of getting a divorce. I brought it up in our very first conversation, and he was kind enough to explain that he married young and believes he made a mistake in focusing too much on that charm that the Bible tells us quickly fades. He did seem to imply that there was infidelity, and said there was desertion, but when I prodded he requested that I allow more time for the details of this to come out - which is totally understandable. From what he says, there are no children involved, which to me is a relief (and perhaps a selfish one).
My question is, as a Christian woman, how should I proceed? First of all, he is still married, as far as I'm - and the law is, and probably the Bible is - concerned. He is not in a hurry to begin a new relationship, or even to get married, and I totally understand this. However, what would be the way forward if we did get into a relationship? What if the infidelity was on his end?
I know God forgives divorce, but wouldn't continuing to talk to this man before his divorce is final be the same as presumptuous sin, i.e. knowing he is still married but also deciding that God will forgive him - and me - after his divorce is final? Not sure if you get what I mean... like going to a store and planning to shoplift knowing it's wrong, but doing it anyway because God says He forgives our sins. Psalm 19:13. Or is it as good as done now that they have started the process and he insists there is no possibility of reconciliation (a story I have heard SO many times before - and one that rarely ends happily)?
Should I just run now, per Prov 27:12? Suppose there was no infidelity (and I suspect there was), is it his lot to remain single for life, now that his first marriage is over? How do I extend grace to this man? From what I see so far, he seems genuine, seems to have a heart for God, seems as well to be dealing with a lot. How do I guard my heart? What questions do I need to ask to proceed?
I thank you for taking the time to read and respond to this. God bless you!
PS: I deliberately posted this in the family forum, hope that's alright