Husband demanding divorce, not sure what to do

[AgeofKnowledge]

You need to move on to the next step and not stay in isolation. I very much recommend a Christian divorce recovery group. If you can't find one near you, an appropriate small group could work. My opinion, is find one that has good fellowship and isn't just a bible study group. You need fellowship where you can open up and talk about what you're going through in a safe place with supportive people.

I get criticized by some Christians for suggesting this but the recovery principles in many secular support groups are helpful in my experience. I'm not familiar with this organization but you may want to call them: DivorceCare: Healing from Divorce

You need support! You need support, love, acceptance, more support, more love, and more acceptance to progress through this difficult time. Put your name on the prayer list at church if you haven't already. You need prayer too.

Take the right steps and the wheel will come around for you and place you on a new road with a new future with God's love and blessing established upon you. The right future.

Do NOT isolate.

Just an update and request of prayers:

After meeting with my husband and having him tell me that he is firm on his decision to be with his son's mother and divorce me- no matter what the Lord or the Word may say, I told him I would sign the divorce papers (making his life a lot easier). He is not effected at all by me emotionally and told me that he is happy with what he is doing and he will be doing it for the rest of his life. I am honestly crushed. I prayed for restoration and all I got was my husband telling me how much he loves someone else. I know this is what I have to do- to let him go and live the life he choses but I am having such trouble with it. I went from having such a full life of love and family to one of emptiness and loneliness. My whole life- my husband, my family, the love I was supposed to be given as a wife, is now being given to someone else and I just can't help but question and be angry with God's goodness. How could this ever be good? If God loves me so much why would he allow me to suffer so horribly when all I ever did was love and care for people as He calls us to do. I just ask for prayer during this time- I really would just like to stop life here and go straight to heaven because this pain is unbearable.
Thanks for listening.

 

[notuptome]

Read Job. He was faithful and God allowed him to be used through much suffering. God restored Job ten fold in the end. I do not know what God has for you but God is using you for His glory through this trial. Trust the Lord and you will be stronger and closer to the Lord for the experience.

God never tests us above what we can endure but in the end He will give us blessing.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[tenderhearted]

I am sorry that you are having to go through this. God knows your heart and by you signing those papers does not mean that you broke that covenant. By your husband leaving you and now currently sharing the bed of another has made him responsible for breaking the covenant. There is nothing you could do to prevent your husband from leaving and the LORD knows that. Thankfully for you--you don't have children with this man and are no longer tied to him after the divorce. God is going to bless you with a man that loves you and wants to make a family with you. God will deal with your husband justly. Pray for your husband and for his son. It would be sad if your husband walked out on his son again. Pray for mercy on that family. God is looking after you. God bless!

 

[homwardbound]

The enemy, flesh selfishness, on all of us, kills, steals and destroys Sister. Your dependence is on Family on Husband, and I am not saying that is bad, but the enemy knows this and has caused this free choice in Husband to do as he is doing.
And you Sister are truly loving him by letting him go. This demonstrastes true love of God, who did the same for us all, let us go to freely choose to trust God in all things
Knowing this:
[h=3]Romans 8:28[/h]Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

[SUP]28 [/SUP]And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

We do not see how while in the midst of tragedy, yet if we just stand in trust to Father through Son, we will see the better results in the long run, The enemy loses when we are still happy in the midst of troubles all around us. Evil can't comprehend that.
In King Jehoshaphat time he won the battle by sending out the praise and worship band in the midst of war and those three armies killed themselves in confusion.
Send out the praise and worship band while in the midst, and watch the change of others reactions, because actually Sister you won already in Christ no matter what happens here on earth.
You being hurt right now the enemy is loving it, and this is not your Husband, he is not the enemy, just being used by the enemy, just as the religious leaders of Christ's day were used and even if he is, no matter Sister Christ tells us:




[h=3]ohn 16:33[/h]Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)
[SUP]33 [/SUP]These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Will you stand while in this? Easy to if things are going the way we think they should, stand in spite of this world and others in it and rejoice
Love you to death, fix your eyes on the things from above not on the things here on earth and learn to count this as Joy. I know what it does it to count tragedy as joy, you are about to learn

 

[brokenwife]

Thank you for all the encouragement- I know it is now my challenge to find joy in Christ's presence alone. I appreciate the prayers and support.
God bless you all

 

[sandtigeress]

Blessings and prayers to you.

 

[Sponge_Bob]

Just do what is right....Divorce is wrong and always will be.

 

[Misty77]

Just do what is right....Divorce is wrong and always will be.

Ignorance and arrogance aren't an appealing combination.

 

[brokenwife]

Just do what is right....Divorce is wrong and always will be.

You are right. It is wrong and I will never chose to be divorced. My heart is broken that my husband has forced that word on me but unfortunately we live in a fallen world and if someone wants to leave a marriage they are able to do so.

 

[homwardbound]

Matthew 5:9 Happy are those who strive for peace—they shall be called the sons of God.
John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give isn’t fragile like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid
Romans 15:13 So I pray for you Gentiles that God who gives you hope will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in him. I pray that God will help you overflow with hope in him through the Holy Spirit’s power within you.
Romans 15:33 And now may our God, who gives peace, be with you all. Amen.
1 Corinthians 1:3 May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you all of his blessings, and great peace of heart and mind.
2 Corinthians 1:2 May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ mightily bless each one of you and give you peace.
Ephesians 6:23 May God give peace to you, my Christian brothers, and love, with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:2 May God bless you all. Yes, I pray that God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ will give each of you his fullest blessings and his peace in your hearts and your lives.

Learning to live above our circumstances is not an easy task at all, keep on trusting Father to show you through and receive the peace of Father through Christ, and stand like a mighty oak tree that once was a small nut that stood its ground, not ever in fighting, trusting God to carry us as we hurt, we listen and learn this might be best for us, for now at least.
Are you asking God, what can I learn from this not wanting a hard heart, and begin the excercise of seeing through the ness here on earth and walk in love regardless knowing God will not forsake us or ever leave us as man will and does

 

[brokenwife]

Thank you homwardbound for your insight. When praying I do ask God what he wants me to do, what he wants me to see in this, where he wants me to be right now. But I don't do that as often as I ask Him why he is doing this or to please ease this pain. It is so hard to stay focused on God's plan for ME when all I see around me (my husband especially) are people doing harm to others and ignoring the Lord BUT yet far happier and less alone than I am. I know we are not supposed to compare ourselves to anyone, but it is so difficult. I guess I haven't lived long enough to see the proof that people actually do reap what they sow and I can't live life depending on all things to be made right here on earth. Just a struggle as I learn more about God's character- He is just but yet he allows injustice.. Very difficult for me to digest..

 

[secularhermit]

Each decision is INDIVIDUAL. My opinion is and should not be in general agreement... If a person is not willing to stay by my side, she (he) is free to do what she wants, no matter their is a "legal" bond, because LOVE is above all.

I know a friend wanted to be divorced. She asked her husband to sign those papers, because she wanted to save time and spare some money. He was doing EVERYTHING HE WANTED, because he wasn´t living WITH her for years.

That friend of mine was so upset. She told me many things I won´t not tell but she decided to take the long and the EXPEN$IVE road to be divorced from one she knew was a cheater... She got a lawyer and started to expende the money she needed (she is a retired teacher).

On December the 25th a car hit him to dead... He passed away before being divorced (he was controlling his "wife").
I told my friend I was happy GOD gave her a 2nd chance to live her life, again.

I guess, if that man would have given her that signature and those papers, he could be alive, for more years. NAd I know my friends spent several years asking those papers.

Now she is a widow!

 

[parablepete]

[h=1]Matthew 19:9[/h]Viewing the King James Version. Click to switch to 1611 King James Version of Matthew 19:9.

[h=2]And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery[/h]
My understanding is he has committed adultery, you have every right to put him away. You are young and will find another who will love, it time. He has no right to re-marry and will not be pleasing to God, nither will his girlfriend/Wife if he marries her be pleasing to god. Your next mariage will be pure to God. If you so choose.

I know from your post you love him very much, sad but he don't. He is in the wrong, you are right, however, will that bring him back, I don't know. No matter what you do will be the right decission.

No one here can take the hurt away. I have a son who's wife left him, he was crushed, he is still hurting years later. God Bless you and help you.

 

[brokenwife]

Thanks parablepete... I sure hope you are right. I can only hope and pray that the reason God is allowing this is to bring me a man that truly loves the Lord and loves me.

 

[Tr]

at least you do not have kids with this guy, it could be worse! Now you know to be extremely cautious before doing anything legal again.

 

[Tr]

I wanted to add that sometimes marriages do not work out. Often times its just a lack of compatibly with that other person. Think of marriage as being born again, born again as one flesh with your wife/husband. His concerns are yours, his worries are yours and his love is your love.

My parents divorced when I was very young. It sure did harm to my childhood.

When my mother met her 4th husband I did not like him at first but now they have been married 13 years and are getting along great and he is a great guy. Everyone has faults and you aren't going to be able to change all of them. He is a better person than my mother and without him she couldn't function and would probably loose her mind. He is an extremely strong person to stay with her through her mistakes. A lesser man would have left a long time ago but he put in the work to make it work.

Marriage is work, a lifetime of it. If everyone reading this who is married would do something nice for their spouse I'm sure it would help their marriage! I know I'm going to!

 

[stew48]

Hi Im Stewart i have just read your letter i understand this is a big problem and only talking to God can help i myself have through this about 2 years ago and we separated in march 2012 and divorced in december 2012 i know this doesnt answer your problem a book i would reccomend you read is Prison to Praise by merlyn carruthers it is an excellant book . i will pray about your problems John 15 v 7 says Ifyou remain in me and my words remain in you, then anything you you will receive .
Remember the first part of the verse is most important .
from Stewart Praise the name of Jesus.

 

[brokenwife]

Thanks for your input.
Tr- I have trouble with that mentality that some marriages just don't work out. That to me, is a contradiction to the vows we state when we stand at the altar. I think the devil steals marriages and spouses choose their own wisdom instead of choosing to obey God and honor their spouse and trust God to bless them for doing that.

Stew48- thank you for your prayers, I will be praying for you as well

 

[Tr]

The marriage is inevitably between the two that are married. If one person makes a bad choice it probably will effect the other person in the marriage. The severity of the consequence depends on the choice made.

Your husband decided to leave you for her and this leaves the marriage pretty much void since there is no longer a marriage between two people. If he felt he was committed to you when he said the vows then he wouldn't have done something to destroy the marriage.

I understand that this is an extremely rough time for you but to recover from such a low spot requires you to get up, dust off your boots and get on with it.

Obviously he did not understand what a marriage was or else he wouldn't have left you. This is not the end of your relationship career just a new beginning.

Honestly IMO you do not have to be legally married to someone to be bonded to them. If you are married within your heart then you are married. All of the legal documents in the world will not make two people married if they aren't committed to each other.

Thanks for your input.
Tr- I have trouble with that mentality that some marriages just don't work out. That to me, is a contradiction to the vows we state when we stand at the altar. I think the devil steals marriages and spouses choose their own wisdom instead of choosing to obey God and honor their spouse and trust God to bless them for doing that.

Stew48- thank you for your prayers, I will be praying for you as well

 

[homwardbound]

Thank you homwardbound for your insight. When praying I do ask God what he wants me to do, what he wants me to see in this, where he wants me to be right now. But I don't do that as often as I ask Him why he is doing this or to please ease this pain. It is so hard to stay focused on God's plan for ME when all I see around me (my husband especially) are people doing harm to others and ignoring the Lord BUT yet far happier and less alone than I am. I know we are not supposed to compare ourselves to anyone, but it is so difficult. I guess I haven't lived long enough to see the proof that people actually do reap what they sow and I can't live life depending on all things to be made right here on earth. Just a struggle as I learn more about God's character- He is just but yet he allows injustice.. Very difficult for me to digest..

You are like an orange on an orange tree. When first born perfect, just not yet matured and fully ripe. Stand fast and co0ntinue to learn and trust Father through Son to grow you up, while in the midst of the adversity you, why?
John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In theworld ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcometheworld.

Also there is a story in the Old testament of King Jehoshaphat, where there were three armies coming against him. Read it and see how he won.
He sent out the praise and worship band and this confused the three armies and they killed each other
Send out the praise and worship band, no matter and without the expectation of your Husband returning.
Stand fast in knowing not how, but knowing God knows all, and you trust God to work all things out for the good
This is what you are to learn in this, no matter what others say or do.
You are a cherished person by and from God through Son period
Be like a mighty oak tree that was a small nut that stood its ground
Keep trusting and soon Metamorphosis will pass and the Cocoon will break open and you will be like a Butterfly, that once was a worm and has been born again into a butterfly
Will a Butterfly ever be a worm again? See the praise and worship band now? Glory to God in the highest of all, thank you Jesus for this: Praise and worship band