mom clubbing too much?

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K

katt

Guest
#1
#1
Will try to make long story short just need advice (its quite embarrassing )

So lately my mom thinks shes young (shes 49) shes was always the type of woman that was quite shy and was always involved in church which I loved .. these past 2 years shes been the complete opposite I dont know if its because she went thru her 2nd divorce or mid life crisis is hitting her but its to the point that sadly I dont even recognize her anymore me and her were always togethere but she has pushed me so far away from her.. im living my life with my husband and 2 kids were expecting our 3 child in just a few weeks! Ive decided that I can no longer hear about my moms life as far as her clubbing and disappearing for days..she gives me bad advice on how I always need to take care of my older brother and leave my husband if he has anything bad to say about it .. (which I dont agree) and the negativity continues as far as advice or us talking ..she is currently house hoping because she refuses to work and blames everyone for her doing bad (including me) can I get advice on this or suggestions I feel bad and extremely embarrassed about her behavior
 
H

hs319

Guest
#2
#2
I am new to this site so i dont have advice. But i know she shouldnt blame u or anyone we all make our own decisions in life and we re all tempted to sin its up to us not too. You sound like a great mother wife n dauggter !
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#3
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#3
Sounds like your Mom is going through some kind of crisis. I'm 44 I honestly hate clubbing. I have a friend that is 41 who's recently divorced and has two teen daughter's, she loves to go out to bars now. She knows I won't go with her. And she's dating a lot of men. I've told her several times this will makes things worse not better. But you know people only hear what they want.

Do you have another adult in your life that you can discuss this with? Someone who maybe can sit with your Mom and let her know how this is effecting you? Maybe an Aunt or Uncle or a Guidance Counselor at school?

I will pray for you. God Bless you.
 
K

katt

Guest
#4
#4
Fenner said:
Sounds like your Mom is going through some kind of crisis. I'm 44 I honestly hate clubbing. I have a friend that is 41 who's recently divorced and has two teen daughter's, she loves to go out to bars now. She knows I won't go with her. And she's dating a lot of men. I've told her several times this will makes things worse not better. But you know people only hear what they want.

Do you have another adult in your life that you can discuss this with? Someone who maybe can sit with your Mom and let her know how this is effecting you? Maybe an Aunt or Uncle or a Guidance Counselor at school?

I will pray for you. God Bless you.
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Yes ive talked to family memebers which disagree with her lifestyle ive personally tried talking to her but we just got into a huge arguement. I told her that it wasnt ok for her to do that and that she should get a job to get her own apartment with my brother and she said she doesnt and will not work cuz shes diabetic I told her so you not diabetic to go out with guys (my age im 23) or to drink you rather go house to house? She refuses to wprk because shes nevee worked a day in her life when she was with my dad and stepdad they always worked and she was a stay at home mom..and now that im not working because im so far along my pregnancy she wants me (which is my husband cuz hes the only one working) to take care of her and I told her he will not his responsibility are our children and shes more than capable to work and she got really upset with me . I also dont allow her to come over my apartment because sadly I had to find out from neighbors that when my mom comes over shes being with a guy from my apartment and there being sexual towards one another the sad thing is that ive heard shes brought him in my apartment when me and my husband leave to go shopping with our kids ... am I being to strict on her for keeping myself and family away from her? I feel like I cant deal with her Idont know if its my hormones or what it is? Thank you for rreplying god bless you!
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#5
#5
katt said:
Yes ive talked to family memebers which disagree with her lifestyle ive personally tried talking to her but we just got into a huge arguement. I told her that it wasnt ok for her to do that and that she should get a job to get her own apartment with my brother and she said she doesnt and will not work cuz shes diabetic I told her so you not diabetic to go out with guys (my age im 23) or to drink you rather go house to house? She refuses to wprk because shes nevee worked a day in her life when she was with my dad and stepdad they always worked and she was a stay at home mom..and now that im not working because im so far along my pregnancy she wants me (which is my husband cuz hes the only one working) to take care of her and I told her he will not his responsibility are our children and shes more than capable to work and she got really upset with me . I also dont allow her to come over my apartment because sadly I had to find out from neighbors that when my mom comes over shes being with a guy from my apartment and there being sexual towards one another the sad thing is that ive heard shes brought him in my apartment when me and my husband leave to go shopping with our kids ... am I being to strict on her for keeping myself and family away from her? I feel like I cant deal with her Idont know if its my hormones or what it is? Thank you for rreplying god bless you![/QUOTE

There isn't much you can do except pray that she wakes up. She's over 21 and knows better and please don't allow her to destroy your family. It is likely that the relationship with your mom will get worse before it gets better. Therefore, you may have to place restrictions on her access to you.
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notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#6
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#6
She is suffering from an extreme case of low self esteem. She is also likely depressed and seeking to compensate for it. She needs professional help but she really needs it from a Christian perspective.

As her daughter all you can do is pray. If she gets a STD or physically abused she may be really hard to help. there are some chapters in a persons life that only God can write. I always hate feeling powerless to help but my God is able to fight for me in these cases. Trust Him to minister just don't be insisting God do it your way.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#7
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#7
All the discipline, advice, or judging of your Mom is doing absolutely nothing to help her and it is hurting you. God tells you to give her special love and respect for being the person God chose to use to give your birth. That is it.

Remember how Christ spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well? Christ let her know He knew her well and everything about her, but there was no lecturing her about it. Christ only lived and spoke of a better way and let her choose. He left her free, and you need to free your Mom to allow her to choose her own way.

When you live your life in the Lord successfully, even freeing your brother to live his life, and just give love to them, you are doing your best.
 
T

TashMeyer76

Guest
#8
#8
I'll say this "Ephesians 5:31 - for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"

Your mother - as harsh as this sounds is not your responsibility, focus on your marriage. All you can do is pray for your mother, be an example, be there when she needs a shoulder - but that's where it has to stop.

I know its hard, but its the truth.
 
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