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If she's a believer and...
you either took her virginity or already asked her father for her hand in marriage and agreed to marry her, I think you have an obligation. If you haven't asked her father for her hand, why would you lead a girl on for 7 years, taking up 7 years of marriage-partner finding time, only to dump her during your engagement? Talk about leading a girl on. Did you discover your feelings late?
Is there any reason for the hesitation? A serious question to ask is whether she would be a good wife. If she berates you, yells at you, gets upset about small stuff and won't 'forgive' imagined offenses, is lazy, and hates children and old people, and has slept with other guys, maybe you've got some reasons. But if she's good wife material, that's a whole different story.
As far as feelings go, if you were going into an arranged marriage sight unseen, I wouldn't expect you to have feelings. If you just don't have that fresh new love excitement that teens get when they are dating, but care deeply for her, and have had strong feelings in the past, I wouldn't think not feeling those infatuation feelings right now would be a good reason to dump her after dating her for 7 years.
you either took her virginity or already asked her father for her hand in marriage and agreed to marry her, I think you have an obligation. If you haven't asked her father for her hand, why would you lead a girl on for 7 years, taking up 7 years of marriage-partner finding time, only to dump her during your engagement? Talk about leading a girl on. Did you discover your feelings late?
Is there any reason for the hesitation? A serious question to ask is whether she would be a good wife. If she berates you, yells at you, gets upset about small stuff and won't 'forgive' imagined offenses, is lazy, and hates children and old people, and has slept with other guys, maybe you've got some reasons. But if she's good wife material, that's a whole different story.
As far as feelings go, if you were going into an arranged marriage sight unseen, I wouldn't expect you to have feelings. If you just don't have that fresh new love excitement that teens get when they are dating, but care deeply for her, and have had strong feelings in the past, I wouldn't think not feeling those infatuation feelings right now would be a good reason to dump her after dating her for 7 years.
What I am wondering is if you told this girl how you really feel...this has to do with her making a informed decision..7years is alot of time to.decide..the first problem is if you do go through with this and then there is children involved ...well not only did you deceive her ..you will deceive them..you need to ask God is this just nerves or is this the woman he has choosen for you...be fair to her ...7 years is a big investment..she deserves the truth...she also deserves to be with someone who truly loves her..will she be mad???oh yeah..but she will get over it and get the life you both deserve...at least get counseling from the church ..
Hi Gilbert. On Christian Chat there are wise and caring people, and as said above, 7 years is a long time.
Saying, "I care about her but as far as love goes I don't feel it." indicates some confusion, which you are aware of. But to be able to give some meaningful advice, or get a meaningful discussion rolling we do need some indication of what's wrong.
Saying, "I care about her but as far as love goes I don't feel it." indicates some confusion, which you are aware of. But to be able to give some meaningful advice, or get a meaningful discussion rolling we do need some indication of what's wrong.
If you have been having sex with her, you have completed that part of being married. If you had sex with her without knowing you were becoming one with her, you need to get on your knees before God, and learn from Him.
Marriage is not a feeling or emotion. It is a working together as a united pair, and after the commitment is made you don't ask daily about a lustful feeling of love, you ask how you are going to work together and how to please this part of you. After becoming united with a companion and helper you don't concentrate on the emotions you have any more than you look at any part of you (legs?) and ask yourself how you feel about them.
If that is what you are doing, then you are living in a pretend world not the real world God created. People have been trying to recreate the world since the beginning and it never has worked, so learn from God what makes His world go round. It is how God created it to work, and it is the way it has always worked best.
Marriage is not a feeling or emotion. It is a working together as a united pair, and after the commitment is made you don't ask daily about a lustful feeling of love, you ask how you are going to work together and how to please this part of you. After becoming united with a companion and helper you don't concentrate on the emotions you have any more than you look at any part of you (legs?) and ask yourself how you feel about them.
If that is what you are doing, then you are living in a pretend world not the real world God created. People have been trying to recreate the world since the beginning and it never has worked, so learn from God what makes His world go round. It is how God created it to work, and it is the way it has always worked best.
You need to talk to her and to a pastor about this situation. You may just be having cold feet. Or looking for some kind of Hollywood romance, where the stars explode in the sky every time you look at her, or even think about her. That is a very wrong expectation, of a relationship that takes time and energy.
There is no perfect marriage. However, if you continue to feel this is wrong, please talk to your fiancée before this relationship becomes permanent.
There is no perfect marriage. However, if you continue to feel this is wrong, please talk to your fiancée before this relationship becomes permanent.
Unless the girl has cheated on you or you cheated on her you should go through with the formal wedding ceremony.
If the two of you have only had sex with eachother, you are all ready married and you might as well just go out and put the ring on that finger.
Lol, not to laugh at you, but moreso at myself, I would be ecstatic myself if I were with a woman for 7 years and she wanted to be married to me, something which may never happen in my life. Again, unless there is some sort of adultery within this equation, if I were in your shoes I would marry the girl.
If the two of you have only had sex with eachother, you are all ready married and you might as well just go out and put the ring on that finger.
Lol, not to laugh at you, but moreso at myself, I would be ecstatic myself if I were with a woman for 7 years and she wanted to be married to me, something which may never happen in my life. Again, unless there is some sort of adultery within this equation, if I were in your shoes I would marry the girl.