M
Ok here is my problem. My husband and I have been married 10 years. When we got married, we both discussed how we didn't do drugs or drink. We both were very active in church. Right after we got married, we became Children Church pastors. I grew up in a home where my parents were very devout Christians, and drugs and alcohol was a huge no-no. I started drinking after my dad died, because I was mad at God, but eventually found my way back to God, and stopped drinking. As far as drugs, I have never touched the stuff. I have never even smoked a joint. My husband however, grew up in the drug scene. He used to shoot up, did coke, and the whole 9 yards. He got clean 2 years before we were married and vowed to never touch any of it again. Fast forward 6 years into our marriage. He started hanging out at his mom's house a lot and I was not invited to go to her house with him, by him. As soon as I would get home from work, he would jump in our car and take off and be gone for hours. I started getting suspicious, and one day while my mom was at my house visiting, she saw him go into our shed. She said he was smoking something. When I got home from work, I went to the shed to search for the pot. He didn't smoke cigarettes, so I knew it had to be pot. I didn't find any, but he saw me searching and threw a fit. He finally told me he was smoking and it was none of my business. Then he got super depressed and always threatened to kill himself. One day he put a knife under his chin, and that was it. I kicked him out. I had a daughter who was 17 and she had a 6 month old and they were living with us. He was gone for two weeks, and he promised he would quit. He begged me to come back home, and I let him.
Fast forward 4 more years. He didn't work, and I was the only one working. He would do a few side jobs, but that was to support his pot habit. Of course, he didn't hold up his end of the promise. He continued to smoke, but he let me know straight up he was going to. I know God hates divorce, and I have already been divorced before due to physical abuse, but I was miserable. He would sleep all day and stay up all night. He wouldn't help me around the house or anything. I was going to work, coming home to clean, cook, do laundry, and everything else. We ended up getting evicted from our apt because my income wasn't enough, and he was taking some of the money to buy pot. We ended up having to move in with his mom. I was at my breaking point. A week before Christmas my daughter came over to visit, and he told me he would never smoke when our grandkids were over. We were in the living room, and my granddaughter was in the kitchen with my husband. When I walked into the kitchen, he was at the table rolling a joint with her sitting there. My daughter grabbed her up and they left. 2 days before Christmas, I had the opportunity to leave him, so I did. I stayed gone for 3 months with very minimal contact with him. Finally he called me and we talked and cried on the phone together. He promised he would stop, but he would have to wean himself off. He told me he realized with me being gone that he was miserable without me. He promised he would go back to work, and if I could give him a month we would move to the town I was working in. He asked me to move back in with his mom, since where I was living he couldn't move in there. It would mean I would have to commute for a month, but we would move. He convinced me that working on our marriage together in the same house would be better than working on it an hour apart. I moved back in. His brother and sister in law were here, and I was under the impression they were here for a visit. After I moved all of my clothes and stuff back in, my husband informed me that they were living here too. So now I am living in a house with 4 pot heads and they smoke all the time. My husband has had no plans to stop obviously. He smokes from the time he gets up until the time he goes to bed. They all smoke on the back porch. It is closed in so the smell seeps into my bedroom. When I am home I sit on the front porch or I have to leave just to get away from it and the smell. My husband tells me that it isn't a big deal that he smokes and he smokes to relax. He says I am always a buzzkill and he thinks I need to leave him alone about it. Of course he says it is a plant God made and throws that scripture in all the time. I, then in return, throw the scripture about how we are to be sober minded. The 2 main problems I have with all of it, is how alone I am in a house full of people I really have nothing in common with. They all sit on the back porch for hours...especially on the weekends, and I am always alone. I can't even carry on a conversation with him because he stays stoned all the time. Also, any money he makes from a side job or whatever he sells, goes to his habit. I am ready to throw in the towel. Twice we have split up over this, and twice he has lied. He has no plans to quit ever apparently, and I just feel like I should go. I don't need anyone to bash me, I just need to know if anyone else has gone through this, and I guess I need to know if it is ok to leave for good this time!!
Fast forward 4 more years. He didn't work, and I was the only one working. He would do a few side jobs, but that was to support his pot habit. Of course, he didn't hold up his end of the promise. He continued to smoke, but he let me know straight up he was going to. I know God hates divorce, and I have already been divorced before due to physical abuse, but I was miserable. He would sleep all day and stay up all night. He wouldn't help me around the house or anything. I was going to work, coming home to clean, cook, do laundry, and everything else. We ended up getting evicted from our apt because my income wasn't enough, and he was taking some of the money to buy pot. We ended up having to move in with his mom. I was at my breaking point. A week before Christmas my daughter came over to visit, and he told me he would never smoke when our grandkids were over. We were in the living room, and my granddaughter was in the kitchen with my husband. When I walked into the kitchen, he was at the table rolling a joint with her sitting there. My daughter grabbed her up and they left. 2 days before Christmas, I had the opportunity to leave him, so I did. I stayed gone for 3 months with very minimal contact with him. Finally he called me and we talked and cried on the phone together. He promised he would stop, but he would have to wean himself off. He told me he realized with me being gone that he was miserable without me. He promised he would go back to work, and if I could give him a month we would move to the town I was working in. He asked me to move back in with his mom, since where I was living he couldn't move in there. It would mean I would have to commute for a month, but we would move. He convinced me that working on our marriage together in the same house would be better than working on it an hour apart. I moved back in. His brother and sister in law were here, and I was under the impression they were here for a visit. After I moved all of my clothes and stuff back in, my husband informed me that they were living here too. So now I am living in a house with 4 pot heads and they smoke all the time. My husband has had no plans to stop obviously. He smokes from the time he gets up until the time he goes to bed. They all smoke on the back porch. It is closed in so the smell seeps into my bedroom. When I am home I sit on the front porch or I have to leave just to get away from it and the smell. My husband tells me that it isn't a big deal that he smokes and he smokes to relax. He says I am always a buzzkill and he thinks I need to leave him alone about it. Of course he says it is a plant God made and throws that scripture in all the time. I, then in return, throw the scripture about how we are to be sober minded. The 2 main problems I have with all of it, is how alone I am in a house full of people I really have nothing in common with. They all sit on the back porch for hours...especially on the weekends, and I am always alone. I can't even carry on a conversation with him because he stays stoned all the time. Also, any money he makes from a side job or whatever he sells, goes to his habit. I am ready to throw in the towel. Twice we have split up over this, and twice he has lied. He has no plans to quit ever apparently, and I just feel like I should go. I don't need anyone to bash me, I just need to know if anyone else has gone through this, and I guess I need to know if it is ok to leave for good this time!!
