J
When we are pregnant with our baby, the umbilical cord is
nourishment to baby. When the baby is born, the cord that
bound us is cut. Severing the dependence between Mother
and child.
We hold that perfect little one we carried for 9 months and
look at it in awe. Count the toes, count the fingers... look
to see if it really is the little girl or boy you wanted.
I did that. I remember like it was yesterday. The little pink
bundle handed to me. I unwrapped her like she was a gift.
She was a gift from God. I remember checking to see if
she really was a girl. I counted her little toes, and fingers.
I looked at her beautiful little face. She had her Nanny's nose.
I was thrilled beyond words.
She was a precious daughter to raise. Never gave us problems.
Always respectful to us. She was a great student in school.
Her first 3 years were in public school, then we put her in
Christian School. She never argued about having to wait
until she was 16 to date. She really was a studious type and
talented. She was beautiful and still is.
Finally the day comes she is ready to marry. That was one of
the difficult times, even though he was a Christian. Handing
something so special over to another, is not easy. But we do
it because it is what we have to do as parents.
She struggled to have her own child, but could not get pregnant.
She considered adopting, or see a specialist. Then God saw fit
to give her a daughter of her own and a beautiful one at that.
She and her husband moved to another State and after having
had our Granddaughter near us for 7 years, we were certainly
losing a special gift God gave to her parents. Not only that we
were losing our own gift, her mother.
At first it was okay and we could do the short few hours drive
to visit. Things went well, always had lots of sight seeing and
sea food restaurants to eat at. We really loved visiting them.
Time goes by and gradually something isn't right. A Mother just
knows. The daughter admits she is not well, carrying a burden
and stressed to the max. I soon learned not to share any of my
issues I was experiencing in my own life, because it was only
adding to hers.
I began to feel the long distant gap growing. She would call if
she felt like it. She would share if she needed to. Her father and
I have interceded for her many many times. Spiritual warfare, etc.
I learned when I called her phone, she let the voice mail pick up.
No return calls. If I emailed, she would try to get a quick response.
Things were changing. She was not the person I knew. My heart
was breaking, her dad was badly hurt by this as well.
I always knew never to interfere with my children's life. Especially
married life. Never expect to know all that was going on. Do NOT
tell them what you see wrong with their mate. Do NOT expect
them to come home if they are having issues. ( Unless of course
it is a serious life or death situation ) That was not the case.
I say all this to share the fact, even though we prayed for her all
through the illnesses she had, the long hours of work she put in,
and her home life.... it was draining on us as parents because we
did not want to see our baby girl ill, and stressed. We worried
over her as much as when she was home. But, we did put her in
Gods hands.... or so I thought.
Finally last fall it seemed as if all I ever had with her began to crumble.
I crumbled with it. I know for 2 months I wept and prayed so hard,
because the relationship I once had with her was not the same
anymore. I knew it was going to be over.
Finally I realized, the umbilical cord in the natural had to be cut.
Did she do it ? Did God do it ? I do not know.... It hurt like .....
almost like death..... I had lost one daughter to death.... so I know
what the difference is.
She came home for visit few days. We were okay, but there is
something missing. I learned no matter how I knew never to put
her husband down.... I also learned do not tell your child their other
parents flaws, they don't want to hear it. Do not confide those
things in them. Tell friend. Come to CC and share it, but don't tell
your child. She loves both of us. But she doesn't want the bad
put upon her shoulders. It is more stress than she needs.
Will it ever be the same? I don't think it will be. She is a grown
woman. I have given her the space she needs. It has been a
month since I have heard from her. Obviously she is needing time
to process whatever is bothering her. I just wait.
In case you wonder, why don't I make the first move ? I have
in the past let a couple of weeks go, then check on her. This is
the longest period I have allowed it to pass. I am waiting this
time for her to make the move. I am tired, I am hurt, I love
her so much, but she has changed and when she is ready, she will
contact me. In the meantime, I pray for her aloud. I weep for
her, but the cord has been cut and it can't be reattached again.
God be with her and help her through this time in her life. He
alone knows the depth of her stressed life and health issues.
When she is ready to share, I will be here......
I had a neighbor when my children were little who had a saying
she shared with me.....
You will make it through this, you may not look the same, but
you will make it. Yes, with Jesus, I will make it.
P.S. Please, just because I am sharing this, I beg of you please
do not tell me what a horrible person I am. I have gone through
my life feeling like that... Don't rub salt in the wounds, please.
nourishment to baby. When the baby is born, the cord that
bound us is cut. Severing the dependence between Mother
and child.
We hold that perfect little one we carried for 9 months and
look at it in awe. Count the toes, count the fingers... look
to see if it really is the little girl or boy you wanted.
I did that. I remember like it was yesterday. The little pink
bundle handed to me. I unwrapped her like she was a gift.
She was a gift from God. I remember checking to see if
she really was a girl. I counted her little toes, and fingers.
I looked at her beautiful little face. She had her Nanny's nose.
I was thrilled beyond words.
She was a precious daughter to raise. Never gave us problems.
Always respectful to us. She was a great student in school.
Her first 3 years were in public school, then we put her in
Christian School. She never argued about having to wait
until she was 16 to date. She really was a studious type and
talented. She was beautiful and still is.
Finally the day comes she is ready to marry. That was one of
the difficult times, even though he was a Christian. Handing
something so special over to another, is not easy. But we do
it because it is what we have to do as parents.
She struggled to have her own child, but could not get pregnant.
She considered adopting, or see a specialist. Then God saw fit
to give her a daughter of her own and a beautiful one at that.
She and her husband moved to another State and after having
had our Granddaughter near us for 7 years, we were certainly
losing a special gift God gave to her parents. Not only that we
were losing our own gift, her mother.
At first it was okay and we could do the short few hours drive
to visit. Things went well, always had lots of sight seeing and
sea food restaurants to eat at. We really loved visiting them.
Time goes by and gradually something isn't right. A Mother just
knows. The daughter admits she is not well, carrying a burden
and stressed to the max. I soon learned not to share any of my
issues I was experiencing in my own life, because it was only
adding to hers.
I began to feel the long distant gap growing. She would call if
she felt like it. She would share if she needed to. Her father and
I have interceded for her many many times. Spiritual warfare, etc.
I learned when I called her phone, she let the voice mail pick up.
No return calls. If I emailed, she would try to get a quick response.
Things were changing. She was not the person I knew. My heart
was breaking, her dad was badly hurt by this as well.
I always knew never to interfere with my children's life. Especially
married life. Never expect to know all that was going on. Do NOT
tell them what you see wrong with their mate. Do NOT expect
them to come home if they are having issues. ( Unless of course
it is a serious life or death situation ) That was not the case.
I say all this to share the fact, even though we prayed for her all
through the illnesses she had, the long hours of work she put in,
and her home life.... it was draining on us as parents because we
did not want to see our baby girl ill, and stressed. We worried
over her as much as when she was home. But, we did put her in
Gods hands.... or so I thought.
Finally last fall it seemed as if all I ever had with her began to crumble.
I crumbled with it. I know for 2 months I wept and prayed so hard,
because the relationship I once had with her was not the same
anymore. I knew it was going to be over.
Finally I realized, the umbilical cord in the natural had to be cut.
Did she do it ? Did God do it ? I do not know.... It hurt like .....
almost like death..... I had lost one daughter to death.... so I know
what the difference is.
She came home for visit few days. We were okay, but there is
something missing. I learned no matter how I knew never to put
her husband down.... I also learned do not tell your child their other
parents flaws, they don't want to hear it. Do not confide those
things in them. Tell friend. Come to CC and share it, but don't tell
your child. She loves both of us. But she doesn't want the bad
put upon her shoulders. It is more stress than she needs.
Will it ever be the same? I don't think it will be. She is a grown
woman. I have given her the space she needs. It has been a
month since I have heard from her. Obviously she is needing time
to process whatever is bothering her. I just wait.
In case you wonder, why don't I make the first move ? I have
in the past let a couple of weeks go, then check on her. This is
the longest period I have allowed it to pass. I am waiting this
time for her to make the move. I am tired, I am hurt, I love
her so much, but she has changed and when she is ready, she will
contact me. In the meantime, I pray for her aloud. I weep for
her, but the cord has been cut and it can't be reattached again.
God be with her and help her through this time in her life. He
alone knows the depth of her stressed life and health issues.
When she is ready to share, I will be here......
I had a neighbor when my children were little who had a saying
she shared with me.....
You will make it through this, you may not look the same, but
you will make it. Yes, with Jesus, I will make it.
P.S. Please, just because I am sharing this, I beg of you please
do not tell me what a horrible person I am. I have gone through
my life feeling like that... Don't rub salt in the wounds, please.
