Divorce help

I am getting many different ideas and views on what the Bible says about divorce. I am in an emotionally/verbally abusive marriage and I need help. Does or does not the Bible allow for divorce in such a circumstance? I don't have any children this could affect either.

The Bible says, " let man not seperate what God has joined together" and gives the only legitimate reason for divorce as adultery. But, if you have prayed about it God may release from this troubling relationship.I would seriously consider waiting on God to answer before you do anything. You may be the one who can help to lead your husband to the Lord. I know it will be hard to love him as Christ has loved us, but please try as you wait upon the Lord. I will pray for you both.

[NoahsMom]

I think you should seek the lord before you make any decisons in haste, I sincerely believe when we take our marriage vows, we are making them before the lord, and yes , he does expect us to honour and keep them, however, I ( and this is my opinion) dont think God would expect anyone to stay in a abusive relationship. That being said, IF you have earnestly prayed, if you have done everything possible to make this relationship work, and you can say you have given 100% and you have took it to the lord, if this person has not changed, made it clear they have no intentions of doing so, I dont think God expects you to keep taking abuse. I myself was in a abusive relationship for the better part of 5 years, I refused to consider divorce, I prayed, I lived for the lord, I sincerely believed I loved the lord, he would see this, he would one day come to love him also, I thought the more love you show, the better they could be, however, the more you try and give some ppl, the more they take. I had two small babie girls at the time, 2 and 3 years old, and I didnt want them goin thru a divorce, having a broken home, still I held fast to the lord, it was all I had, my relationship with God,and my children. After two years of this steadily growin worse, ( abuse), God spoke to me, and told me, If you think its bad for you...as a woman, what do you think it will be for them?....is this what you want your daughters thinkin love is?....my bible says a man who wont support his family is a infadele , or however you spell it...basically, not to mention emotional support, so to make it short and sweet, I let go, and LET God. Im not sayin run out tomorrow and get a divorce, Im sayin cling to God and what he tells you. I clung to him because I knew he wouldnt tell me lies, and I knew he wanted what was best for my kids. Now some 15 years later, I have been happily married to man I feel god chose, not what I in my flesh foolishly thought I could change. Pray...Pray ...and when all else fails...PRAY.

I have a better idea,why dont you seek God on His veiw of divorce, the bible is His Word.
Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18,Romans 7:2-3, 1 corinthians 7:10-11,39, Malachi 2:16, Matthew 19:4-6

Mark 11:24 is still in the bible,If you believe Jesus to restore your marriage to divine order,then He will,if that includes saving your husband,then He will do that. Gods will is reconciliation,mans will is divorce!

I know of a christian sister who was believing God for her husband,he was a drunk,would come in at times and beat her. All her so called friends told her to leave him,divorce him,her reply,that would mean doubting Jesus,and my Jesus is faithful!

One morning at 4;00 am her husband came in the house ,into the bedroom and asked his wife how he could get saved! God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him,and His Word. Gods Word is true,and He is true to His Word!

[olivetree32]

well, maybe talk to your pastor. Make sure the advise you get is Godley. like what the bible says. We as christians should not ever get worldly counsel like from therapists in such, because im almost postive you will not be pointed to jesus. so be carfull. Anyone giving advise on marrige the correct way, will always back it up with the word. But the real deal is, what is God speaking to your heart and your husband? A Marriage is so personal between the three of you, an union.

Originally Posted by jmb316

The Bible says, " let man not seperate what God has joined together" and gives the only legitimate reason for divorce as adultery. But, if you have prayed about it God may release from this troubling relationship.I would seriously consider waiting on God to answer before you do anything. You may be the one who can help to lead your husband to the Lord. I know it will be hard to love him as Christ has loved us, but please try as you wait upon the Lord. I will pray for you both.

The only escape clause from marriage is on the grounds of adultry, nothing less. If you have problems with different types of abuse, you and your spouse should seek marital counseling from a Pastor or another Christian counsellor. As for praying about it, God's already spoken on the matter in His word, and He won't lead someone to act contrary to what He's already said on the matter.

[erika83]

Originally Posted by Baptistrw

The only escape clause from marriage is on the grounds of adultry, nothing less. If you have problems with different types of abuse, you and your spouse should seek marital counseling from a Pastor or another Christian counsellor. As for praying about it, God's already spoken on the matter in His word, and He won't lead someone to act contrary to what He's already said on the matter.

I agree, the Bible is pretty clear about that. And yeah, you can pray for strength, to love and be patient with your husband but Jesus told us already when we are allowed to divorce. Just in case of adultery. I hope your marriage will get better.

I have very strong feelings on divorce, and can not accept it as permissable in the sight of God.

However I have to temper that when I see the devastation that comes from abuse. I see no reason whatsoever for any woman (or man for that matter) who has been abused by his spouse to continue suffering that abuse, be it physical or mental.

There are two views of marriage. Marriage in the sight of the state and Marriage in the sight of God.

I will fully support you in divorce under the law of the land.

But your commitment in the sight of God can not be ended.

If this sounds strange and contradictory - take whatever steps that are necessary to free yourself from further abuse, end the marriage as the law sees it. But for yourself, you are still married in the sight of God and can not (so long as he lives) take another. Your commitment still stands.

I pray that you find peace.

Originally Posted by IChThUS

I have very strong feelings on divorce, and can not accept it as permissable in the sight of God.

However I have to temper that when I see the devastation that comes from abuse. I see no reason whatsoever for any woman (or man for that matter) who has been abused by his spouse to continue suffering that abuse, be it physical or mental.

There are two views of marriage. Marriage in the sight of the state and Marriage in the sight of God.

I will fully support you in divorce under the law of the land.

But your commitment in the sight of God can not be ended.

If this sounds strange and contradictory - take whatever steps that are necessary to free yourself from further abuse, end the marriage as the law sees it. But for yourself, you are still married in the sight of God and can not (so long as he lives) take another. Your commitment still stands.

I pray that you find peace.

That makes no sense whatsoever. Supporting someone to disobey the Scriptures is a dangerous thing to undertake. Especially when the Bible is perfectly clear on the matter. It's better to endure problems in this life than to lose out on rewards in heaven.

Humans always want a "get out" clause we can exercise in life when things get bad. But God uses circumstances like this to help us. God could be allowing this sort of abuse to test you to develop the traits you need to make you more complete as James writes about...
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
James 1:2-4 (NKJV)

I hope that you'll see this as a great opportunity to grow in the faith.

[thefightinglamb]

I don't believe in divorce whatsoever...

But YOU have got to recognize these two forces fighting in the soul...

Is there one God meant for you?
If this is true behind the loaded question is the possibility that you could marry the wrong person...

I go both ways on this question and I don't know where I stand as of now...if you can't follow the LORD in a marriage 'you should let them seek divorce' but otherwise do what the LORD tells you regardless of physical circumstances.

SO what makes a marriage? The Bible says God does and 'what he connects let no man separate'.

So is the thing you are in ACTUALLY marriage--

Personally, I believe there are tons of things people would call marriages that aren't.

First, pray for your husband, have your heart yearn for his salvation as if it was your own...and then pray always about it...God will shown you what he wants...but do NOT accept advice from others as if it were from God unless 1 you believe it is or 2-you see that it is the truth when they say it is from God.

God bless and I'm sorry, I'll pray for him and you
Hopefully and we trust the Lord gives himself abundantly, have faith
tony

[thefightinglamb]

By "is there one God meant for you?"
I meant is there one person meant for you to marry?
But they are the same question spiritually in a way

Originally Posted by thefightinglamb

First, pray for your husband, have your heart yearn for his salvation as if it was your own...and then pray always about it...God will shown you what he wants...but do NOT accept advice from others as if it were from God unless 1 you believe it is or 2-you see that it is the truth when they say it is from God.

God's already said what He wants in His word, it's simply a matter of obeying it or not. Divorce is only acceptable on the grounds of adultery, nothing less. It is a tough situation to deal with abuse, but if it were something that couldn't be dealt with, it would be included in the Word as grounds for divorce. But it's not.

[carpetmanswife]

i cant believe God wants us to continue to b abused, leave ,seperate legally whatever , abuse is abuse whatever form and it usually intensifies ,rarely subsides.

Originally Posted by carpetmanswife

i cant believe God wants us to continue to b abused, leave ,seperate legally whatever , abuse is abuse whatever form and it usually intensifies ,rarely subsides.

God allows it for a reason, it's kinda like someone who has health problems, we may not know why we continue to suffer, but it's for a reason. A couple that sticks together through such a circumstance God could use mightily as a testimony of perseverance through trials. But as for not believing it, it's not mentioned in the Bible, so it's obviously not grounds for divorce, because it can be overcame through salvation and counselling.

[carpetmanswife]

i agree it is a situation that can b mended with Gods help BUT i didnt say divorce i said dont stay there and allow it to worsen..

Originally Posted by carpetmanswife

i agree it is a situation that can b mended with Gods help BUT i didnt say divorce i said dont stay there and allow it to worsen..

I notice she didn't say it was physical, and persecution via the spoken word should be expected from the world. They spoke evil of Christ, so we should expect the same.

[carpetmanswife]

all im sayin , both of u need counselin get help or get out .

Leaving doesn't necessarily mean divorce. Sometimes it is necessary to make a drastic change to create oppertunity. If you are feeling that you are abused, then leave. Pray for your husband, have everyone you know pray for him and try your best to work on the relationship, from a safe distance.
God bless you.

[jaylynn83]

Originally Posted by Baptistrw
The only escape clause from marriage is on the grounds of adultry, nothing less. If you have problems with different types of abuse, you and your spouse should seek marital counseling from a Pastor or another Christian counsellor. As for praying about it, God's already spoken on the matter in His word, and He won't lead someone to act contrary to what He's already said on the matter.

Baptistrw, UNTIL you have been in any kind of marriage relationship, that there has been abusive involved, i think its best you keep your opinions to yourself. You DO NOT tell someone to count it all joy when there going through ABUSE, use your common sense baptistrw... If your spouse is an unbeliever what makes you think he is going to willingly go to a pastor for marriage counseling! I do agree that the bible says that the only grounds for divorce is adultrey, HOWEVER, god did give us a brain, and if someone is physically harming you, GET AWAY, FLEE, god doesnt want us to get beat up on a regular basis and be a punching bag for someone. The only thing that you can do is pray, and if the situation your in is dangerous get outta there! find somewhere else to stay. If he continues to beat you down emotionally....and you have prayed and prayed about it, and continuelsy talked to your spouse about stoping that behavior and he doesnt stop, i would find somewhere else to live until the behavior stops.. I have been in a marriage like this and abuse only esculates, i would seperate yourself from him for now and really pray about it, and seek god. he will tell you what to do