~~~~~~~~~~According to the law of Moses

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MissPickles

Guest
#1
#1
According to the law of Moses, in order for a divorce to be legal, a man gave his wife a certificate of divorce before sending her away. A woman giving her husband a certificate of divorce wasn't a legal divorce.

With that being said and I was the one who filed for a divorce, due to his abuse, porn and his drinking. My divorce in the eyes of GOD is really not legal, so if he remarries I will always be his wife in GODS eyes?? Am I right on this???????
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#2
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
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#2

I suspect that in God's eyes, your marriage may not have been legal in the first place? :) Consider the vows, and consider what the new testament instructs husbands to be; "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them" (Colossians 3:19). Its sounds like your ex-husband abandoned love from day one and resorted to abuse. I highly doubt that God would expect you to be his punching bag for life. The NT permits wives to leave their husbands in cases of infidelity, abandonment, or death. I personally think your ex qualifies in two of the three. If your divorce was righteous, your no longer married and no longer his wife. jmo
 
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BeeD

Guest
#3
#3
No...We are not under the laws of Moses. If you filed for a divorce and the state granted it, you are divorced in the eyes of God and man. If you will look in the New Testament you will see Jesus mentioning a wife divorcing "put away" her husband. If it wasn't allowed by a law that had come into existance back then, (not by God but by men as new laws are being created even now), obviously Jesus wouldn't have mentioned it being done. (Mark 10:12 - And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she commits adultery." It could have been that they began allowing women to be able to file for a divorce back then because men who were "dealing treacherously" against their wives refused to straighten up or let them go. Laws are created because of wrongs that exist, to say, "That is wrong, stop it."
 
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sassylady

Guest
#4
#4
I agree with the other two answers. Certainly if you ever meet another man and believe he may be the God has chosen for you, by all means fast and pray about it. But it doesn't sound like your ex was truly committed to the marriage to begin with. I consider porn a form of adultery.

God is a God of mercy, His mercy is new every morning. Things are different now than they were in Jesus' time. I don't see the divorce as a mistake but even if it was, God is not mad at His people even if they do make mistakes.

My ex molested our daughters and I have agonized over filing for divorce, but had to protect the children. He was not willing to even admit he did anything wrong. I would pray about remarriage to be certain I did not make the wrong move, but I don't feel bad any longer about the divorce.
 
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MissPickles

Guest
#5
#5
Sorry I am so late in replying. Ive just had alot on my plate lately. My kids needed me first and foremost. This divorce has not been easy for them by no means. alot has gone on...it seems like drama after drama.
 
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sunburn

Guest
#6
#6
I am wondering why you are putting yourself under the law of Moses….
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#7
Mar 13, 2014
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#7
MissPickles said:
Sorry I am so late in replying. Ive just had alot on my plate lately. My kids needed me first and foremost. This divorce has not been easy for them by no means. alot has gone on...it seems like drama after drama.
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I love the sunshine too.
 
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MissPickles

Guest
#8
#8
I feel guilty for walking away from my marriage and divorcing my husband. It was a union that GOD brought together. I have since met a guy and we date. But I have explained to him I would never marry again. I afraid of disappointing GOD!
 
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sunnysky31

Guest
#9
#9
MissPickles said:
I feel guilty for walking away from my marriage and divorcing my husband. It was a union that GOD brought together. I have since met a guy and we date. But I have explained to him I would never marry again. I afraid of disappointing GOD!
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I was just reading over this thread and felt compelled to jump in.

I married my husband when I was 17 because I got pregnant. I actually was seeking a way out of my home life and at 16 that really seemed like the answer.

He was not faithful before we married. He was not faithful after, and was extremely abusive. I left him when I was 20 years old after realizing how terrible the situation was and how desperatly I needed to get straightened out with God.

For YEARS I struggled with the same thing you are struggling with. I put myself away and did not date or even attempt to have a real life because I thought ''well according to the Bible, I have sinned because I left him'' also I thought ''well I will always be bound to this monster even though I left in pursuit of Gods plan''.

Until the past year I truly believed that. I did go out and date but I thought I couldnt marry again, until I really got into the word and saw that my marriage was doomed from the get go. At that point I realized that I have already (in these years) asked God to forgive me for that and I am 100% in HIS WILL now. So, my past really is no issue for me anymore.

We have to see that the marriage was not of God in the first place because we were unequally yoked and out of HIS WILL at that time. We must see that we have grace for this.

I found that in the end, my issue was that I had to forgive myself. It's easy for God to forgive us (if we are genuine) but it is not as easy to forgive ourself. Especially when there are children involved. (I have 2)

So, with that being said. You are not bound to him because it was not of God. You have asked forgiveness. Now, work on forgiving yourself.

*HUGE HUGS*

Will be praying for you..

Love in Christ,
Sunny
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#10
Mar 13, 2014
41,300
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#10
sunnysky31 said:
I was just reading over this thread and felt compelled to jump in.

I married my husband when I was 17 because I got pregnant. I actually was seeking a way out of my home life and at 16 that really seemed like the answer.

He was not faithful before we married. He was not faithful after, and was extremely abusive. I left him when I was 20 years old after realizing how terrible the situation was and how desperatly I needed to get straightened out with God.

For YEARS I struggled with the same thing you are struggling with. I put myself away and did not date or even attempt to have a real life because I thought ''well according to the Bible, I have sinned because I left him'' also I thought ''well I will always be bound to this monster even though I left in pursuit of Gods plan''.

Until the past year I truly believed that. I did go out and date but I thought I couldnt marry again, until I really got into the word and saw that my marriage was doomed from the get go. At that point I realized that I have already (in these years) asked God to forgive me for that and I am 100% in HIS WILL now. So, my past really is no issue for me anymore.

We have to see that the marriage was not of God in the first place because we were unequally yoked and out of HIS WILL at that time. We must see that we have grace for this.

I found that in the end, my issue was that I had to forgive myself. It's easy for God to forgive us (if we are genuine) but it is not as easy to forgive ourself. Especially when there are children involved. (I have 2)

So, with that being said. You are not bound to him because it was not of God. You have asked forgiveness. Now, work on forgiving yourself.

*HUGE HUGS*

Will be praying for you..

Love in Christ,
Sunny
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I agree with your view on marriage. Since God did not join the two of you together the marriage was never morally valid. My first marriage was horrible too. Forgiving yourself for something is a very hard thing to do. God's grace is sufficient. Let go and let God. Your perspective on marriage and remarriage may be quite useful on this site because a lot of people residing here chose to live in fear.
 
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sunnysky31

Guest
#11
#11
tourist said:
I agree with your view on marriage. Since God did not join the two of you together the marriage was never morally valid. My first marriage was horrible too. Forgiving yourself for something is a very hard thing to do. God's grace is sufficient. Let go and let God. Your perspective on marriage and remarriage may be quite useful on this site because a lot of people residing here chose to live in fear.
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Yeah and thats the thing that we struggle with (in this human flesh). We can't overcome ''ourself'' long enough to see that we just have to ask forgiveness. We sit and dwell in our past sins and ''how to get forgiveness'' so much that we cant see how simple it is to get the forgiveness. I did it for many years - dwelled in not forgiving myself.

As long as we are in this flesh we will struggle with some of these things, but we just have to realize that ''if God will forgive me then I need to go in and forgive myself''

 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#12
Mar 13, 2014
41,300
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#12
sunnysky31 said:
Yeah and thats the thing that we struggle with (in this human flesh). We can't overcome ''ourself'' long enough to see that we just have to ask forgiveness. We sit and dwell in our past sins and ''how to get forgiveness'' so much that we cant see how simple it is to get the forgiveness. I did it for many years - dwelled in not forgiving myself.

As long as we are in this flesh we will struggle with some of these things, but we just have to realize that ''if God will forgive me then I need to go in and forgive myself''

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I have had my struggles with past life situations as well. I try to be sensitive to others but I am a hard grader on myself.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#13
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
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#13
Abuse is definitely a reason for divorce, because he has damaged you and your relationship, in your case, irrepairably. I am reading an interesting book by a conservative pastor about spousal abuse in the church called "A Cry for Justice" by Anna Wood and Jeff Crippen.

I would advise you to read it. He gives many examples of abuse, the cycle of abuse, and how both men and women can be victims of this psychopathic behaviour. You may recognize your husband from the descriptions! He shows Biblically how abuse breaks the marriage vows, and that it needs to be recognized by the church as serious, life threatening and grounds for divorce.

God loves you, and he does not want you to be hurt anymore. Neither is it consistent with the loving character of God to expect you to live alone the rest of your life, because you were battered for 20 years, and finally had the courage to leave.

Praying you will find some peace and counseling to help you through this difficult time.
 
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MissPickles

Guest
#14
#14
Angela53510----Im going to google that book and see if I can find it at a local bookstore or order it off line. Thanks telling me about the book. I will keep in touch with you after I receive it and start reading it...Again Thanks!
 
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presidente

Senior Member
#15
May 29, 2013
9,082
1,749
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#15
MissPickles said:
According to the law of Moses, in order for a divorce to be legal, a man gave his wife a certificate of divorce before sending her away. A woman giving her husband a certificate of divorce wasn't a legal divorce.

With that being said and I was the one who filed for a divorce, due to his abuse, porn and his drinking. My divorce in the eyes of GOD is really not legal, so if he remarries I will always be his wife in GODS eyes?? Am I right on this???????
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That is an important observation. If a woman gave her husband a certificate of divorce in the Old Testament, that was not a legal divorce.

Nowhere does the Bible ever legitimize a woman divorcing her husband, and the New Testament forbids most cases of a man divorcing his wife. Jesus said, 'except it be for fornication.' There is no passage that calls a wife divorcing her husband legitimate. The only passage that mentions a wife putting away her husband is where Jesus forbade it.

I read once that the only known case among the Jews of a woman divorcing her husband was Herodias, and we know that John said, "It is not lawful for thee to have her." In that case, she was his brother's wife also. I read that the chief priests approved the divorce. But this has no justification from the law of Moses. Priests claimed to act in the authority of God. But most Jewish legal scholars would not have permitted this. If a man did not fulfill his obligations to his wife and the authorities found that he should divorce her over it, they could try to compel him to do so, but the woman was not considered divorced without the certificate he gave her according to the Law of Moses.

But again, for followers of Jesus, regarding the certificate of divorce, we know that 'from the beginning it is not so' and the man who puts away his wife, except it be for fornication, and marries another, commits adultery. And he that marries her that is divorced commits adultery. We are to go back to the original intention before the certificate was allowed as a means of divorcing a wife, because of the hardness of the Israelite's hearts.

Wives are commanded not to depart from their husbands. If they do, they are to remain unmarried or be reconciled to their husbands. Jesus said that He that marries her that is put away commits adultery. In that passage, he comments on the law given through Moses that allowed men to put away their wives with a divorce certificate. But His commentary was that 'from the beginning it was not so.'

We are not under the law of Moses, but Christ gave a higher, stricter law than Moses when it came to divorce. He also said, "If ye love me, keep my commandments."
 
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pastac

Guest
#16
#16
MissPickles said:
I feel guilty for walking away from my marriage and divorcing my husband. It was a union that GOD brought together. I have since met a guy and we date. But I have explained to him I would never marry again. I afraid of disappointing GOD!
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If you were so afraid of disappointing God why did you get divorced and why do you have a boyfriend? seems to me like you have compromised your beliefs for your flesh. If I am candid I meant to be. What do you and your boyfriend do as to seeing you will never get married? Do you practice adultery on a regular basis or are you still afraid of disappointing God. I wish posters would not use their situations to discuss someone elses the situations are always so very different and often well meaning folks lead others astray with what they did willfully or out of ignorance. Remember you put this out here so if you take offense remember your words!
 
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pastac

Guest
#17
#17
And since you are not married this would constitute spiritual adultery. Why do you feel guilt? Did God say divorce or did your flesh talk you into it. The key here is knowing you can be forgiven but the right way is still the right way. Some folks tell you their position and perspective yet it will never undo your choices or over ride your will. Seems to me that God is still dealing with you on the matter and he alone has the answers if you will truly hear them. Be blessed in what you do on this matter pastac
 
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lioncub

Guest
#18
#18
MissPickles said:
According to the law of Moses, in order for a divorce to be legal, a man gave his wife a certificate of divorce before sending her away. A woman giving her husband a certificate of divorce wasn't a legal divorce.

With that being said and I was the one who filed for a divorce, due to his abuse, porn and his drinking. My divorce in the eyes of GOD is really not legal, so if he remarries I will always be his wife in GODS eyes?? Am I right on this???????
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If your husband was a believer as well, then this applies:

Matthew 19:
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

In a situation with two believers, there are only two legitimate exceptions for a divorce. One, fornication (as mentioned by Jesus) and Two, death of the spouse.
 
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