I choose death over marriage...

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Raine

Guest
#21
#21
I think we have to look at the overall picture here... I think it is unwise for us to only look at this event and believe that pottersclay's frustration simply came from this one time event... It is obvious that she feels hurt and unloved at times by her husband from an accumulation of events and this one was the one that made her "snap" thus she posted a thread about it.

There is a time for correction and a time for love.

Use wisdom and love to determine this.

Obviously, Tash is in need of our love and support as her brother and sisters in Christ. Especially in a moment like this when she feels weak in her strength. It is ok to encourage her to see the positive in the situation but do so in a loving manner and not in a correcting one, and I mean this for this particular situation, as all situations are different.

Tash, I read this thread this morning and wanted to reply right away but had to go to work.

I can can see that your situation is difficult, and in a relationship where the love bank feels empty, it is even harder to always be positive and patient. We are, of course, only human and need God in all circumstances.

I have no real good advice for you sister... I'm sorry. That is a tough situation. All you can do is set your eyes and heart on Jesus and pray for him.

Something did come to mind though that may comfort you... And this comes not from me but from Him. :).

You are not only married to your husband, but you are engaged! Yes! You are! Your groom is Christ and you are his beautiful bride! And one day, you will be united. :). Live each situation believing, not just knowing, but actually believing that you are Christ's bride. God is romantic! It's all over the bible. Let him take away the pain and make you alive again on the inside!

My heart goes out to you... God bless.
 
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biscuit

Guest
#22
#22
I think we have to look at the overall picture here... I think it is unwise for us to only look at this event and believe that pottersclay's frustration simply came from this one time event... It is obvious that she feels hurt and unloved at times by her husband from an accumulation of events and this one was the one that made her "snap" thus she posted a thread about it

I believe we all can sympathize with potterclay but we need to understand that there are "two-sides" to every story. Without consideration of his side of the story, we will become judges or prejudging, which is not accepted according to the Scriptures. We can only pray for both of them that they will see the light and make the corrections necessary to gain wholesome fulfillment in their marriage.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#23
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#23
biscuit said:
If you can find the rude remark I made to tourist, I will apologize. My remark wasn't directed to tourist ... it was directed to jb800m. Maybe you owe me an apology for false accusation?
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biscuit, I mixed up the name of the poster's reply. I am sorry. :) When I posted my reply, tourist's name was below jb800m's.. I apologize. :)
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#24
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#24
biscuit said:
Good husbands provide leadership & instructions necessary to protect the family. IMHO, both failed as adults. Nevertheless, you are correct.
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May I admit that I have seen female leadership also? (Particularly when God wanted men learn a lesson)

I have learned a couple of times from ladies... Sometimes ladies are more correct than I thought I was...

Perfect leadership comes from GOD!

Amen!
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#25
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
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#25
blue_ladybug said:
biscuit, the point is, that when tash called her husband to do this favor for her, because obviously she was committed to being at the event til midnight. The husband should have been glad to help her out, instead of saying he's p**sed for having to do it. Yes, one option would have been to have the kid stay overnight..another option could have been that the kid call his parents or a friend to bring him home.
I think your remark to tourist is a little bit insensitive considering that his wife died a couple of years ago. Maybe you should apologize for that remark, and think a bit next time before you choose your words. I understand the point you were trying to make, but still it was quite rude.
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May I apologize if something went wrong in behalf of any of my friends?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#26
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
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Tennessee
#26
blue_ladybug said:
biscuit, I mixed up the name of the poster's reply. I am sorry. :) When I posted my reply, tourist's name was below jb800m's.. I apologize. :)
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I seem to be all over the place. Now I feel like apologizing :)
 
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biscuit

Guest
#27
#27
blue_ladybug said:
biscuit, I mixed up the name of the poster's reply. I am sorry. :) When I posted my reply, tourist's name was below jb800m's.. I apologize. :)
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Thanks and I will make amend and show more sensitivity in my future posts.
 
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waterlily

Guest
#28
#28
I really pray that those who are seeking loving biblical advice about deeply personal matters truly seek the wisdom of the Holy Spirit first before pouring out their hearts in these forums. We are told to seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness.

I also pray that those who offer advice seek first the truth in God before posting and not speaking out of flesh.

God bless all in the mighty name of Jesus.

amen
 
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Raine

Guest
#29
#29
I think this calls for a group hug!!! *huggss*
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#30
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#30
waterlily said:
I really pray that those who are seeking loving biblical advice about deeply personal matters truly seek the wisdom of the Holy Spirit first before pouring out their hearts in these forums. We are told to seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness.

I also pray that those who offer advice seek first the truth in God before posting and not speaking out of flesh.

God bless all in the mighty name of Jesus.

amen
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The encourament the "paper" church has largely missed is here in a written form when people are hugged in this fellowship. Just wonder if any person here would vent PUBLICLY his issues in front of "any" they think the know (or knew). Used stones will be scatered all over this road...

We are assembled in the name of the LORD Jesus and He said this: "Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.""
 
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Raine

Guest
#32
#32
secularhermit said:
I want to be ANY number you want me to be in a line. :)
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A group hug doesn't require a line lol. We all hug each other at once. :) With Tash in the middle of course.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#33
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#33
biscuit said:
I think we have to look at the overall picture here... I think it is unwise for us to only look at this event and believe that pottersclay's frustration simply came from this one time event... It is obvious that she feels hurt and unloved at times by her husband from an accumulation of events and this one was the one that made her "snap" thus she posted a thread about it

I believe we all can sympathize with potterclay but we need to understand that there are "two-sides" to every story. Without consideration of his side of the story, we will become judges or prejudging, which is not accepted according to the Scriptures. We can only pray for both of them that they will see the light and make the corrections necessary to gain wholesome fulfillment in their marriage.
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i rightfully concorn with it! My concern is that my potter friend is SHE never get broken.

She is having a dire strait. :(
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#36
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
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#36
Suicidal thoughts are NOT necessarily because of your circumstances. Please talk to a doctor about this. Yes, your husband didn't give you the response you hoped for, but you are still responsible for your choices, and suicide is ALWAYS a bad choice.

I am sorry you feel so bad, but please realize that not all marriages are perfect (none, actually) and sometimes our spouses don't act the way we want them too. That doesn't mean we all decide to commit suicide every time we are hurt or upset.

Sorry to come in late on this, but I do think you need to seek professional help. Start with yourself, and maybe you can get hubby into marriage counseling, once you get to the bottom of your anger. (Yes, suicide is anger turned inward, although you may think you are numb!)

Praying you get some help and recover from this situation and save your marriage. Jesus doesn't like divorce!
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#37
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#37
She FELT sad dead and alone (she is not). She loves the LORD and her children... She just needed to know we´re are sadly concerned and tried to "help" from different views.

In fact, I wish you were buried in our love and hugs. :(
 
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ThePottersClay

Guest
#38
#38
Look, a post where I really just needed encouragement was taken completely out of context. After 12 years of marriage and running an entire household, providing food, ensuring my kids and husband is clothed,ensuring they all have what they need, I felt a little sad and hurt, to a point where I did and would chose to rather die, than to have to face this situation any longer. And it is not suicidal.

Biscuit, I see your point, and yes, a lot of times it boils down to bad planning but just to put you in the bigger picture.

The boy ended up staying with us for a week, when it was time to take him home on the Friday, my husband was going too, but instead he needed (wanted) to finish his model trains, TO ACCOMMOCATE
 
T

ThePottersClay

Guest
#39
#39
Look, a post where I really just needed encouragement was taken completely out of context. After 12 years of marriage and running an entire household, providing food, ensuring my kids and husband is clothed,ensuring they all have what they need, I felt a little sad and hurt, to a point where I did and would chose to rather die, than to have to face this situation any longer. And it is not suicidal.

Biscuit, I see your point, and yes, a lot of times it boils down to bad planning but just to put you in the bigger picture.

The boy ended up staying with us for a week, when it was time to take him home on the Friday, my husband was going too, but instead he needed (wanted) to finish his model trains, TO ACCOMMODATE him I suggested taking him home the Saturday, but because I was going to work at the July Derby as a Paramedic, I suggested that I can take him when I'm finished which I assumed was around 5pm because that was the information I got. By 4pm, I was informed that we'll run way into the evening due to a shortage of medical staff. AT which point I called him and told him I'll probably be later than expected, and the friend still has to go home. His response to me at that point was "Just go drop him off when you're done then" NOT "Shame my love, you've been working all day, let me go drop him off" No, he was quite happy to let me do it.

Eventually, when I realized it wasn't going to be a 9pm run but possibly into midnight, and the boy's parents can't wait up that late - AT This point I realised if I do not ask him directly he will not likely offer to help - boy what a mistake.

Last night after not talking for a whole day he came to me and told me that he was sorry about the night before, and that he was really selfish to expect me to do the running around when he was really just drawing his trains.

The sad part is, its not the first time, and it will not be the last time, so now... as a wife, I will plan ahead for us both since I have no choice, just in case I inconvenience anyone, for the sake of peace and my sanity.

But I learned one valuable lesson - when a post says "Where we can give and receive encouragement" Some people consider it a good platform where we can rebuke, correct, and judge.


 
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ThePottersClay

Guest
#40
#40
I'm not suicidal hun, just completely alone. But I'll live.

Angela53510 said:
Suicidal thoughts are NOT necessarily because of your circumstances. Please talk to a doctor about this. Yes, your husband didn't give you the response you hoped for, but you are still responsible for your choices, and suicide is ALWAYS a bad choice.

I am sorry you feel so bad, but please realize that not all marriages are perfect (none, actually) and sometimes our spouses don't act the way we want them too. That doesn't mean we all decide to commit suicide every time we are hurt or upset.

Sorry to come in late on this, but I do think you need to seek professional help. Start with yourself, and maybe you can get hubby into marriage counseling, once you get to the bottom of your anger. (Yes, suicide is anger turned inward, although you may think you are numb!)

Praying you get some help and recover from this situation and save your marriage. Jesus doesn't like divorce!
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