Friends-- let down

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K

kim12345

Senior Member
#1
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#1
I have been working really hard on reaching out and making friends and connections. Lately its been discouraging.

!. I invite our whole bible study group to come over for a bbq fundraiser thingy and on the invite stated RSVP only 2 people rsyp'd so I cancelled it . Several of them made up excuses why they didn't respond. One couple has never Once responded back to any invites. This is not the first time with this group.

2. I went to a womens faith convention at our church and ask 2 lady friends to save me a seat cause I wont get there till the actual hour it started. I text them up to that point then when the music started they never responded back or looked for me etc. I couldn't find them because there were 2000 ladies. so no seats I went home then they apologized the next day.

It is my impression that if people like you for a friend they would make an effort and even if they didn't what about just being Polite (especially if you say your a Christian)

I have been praying for about 5 years for friends to go camping with our family but No one.

I'm getting discouraged
 
R

Richie_2uk

Guest
#2
#2
There is only 1 friend you can trust. Thank you Jesus!
 
H

hope4us

Guest
#3
#3
Oh Gosh. I'm really sorry and I understand why you are discouraged. While I agree Jesus is the only friend who won't ever let us down, I do believe God gives us friends as a testiment to His love and that we ought to be able to trust other people. I wonder if your discouragement leaks out in any way? I've had to ask myself the same question before. Always one to easily make friends, I've experienced 2 times in my life when it was really difficult, and I was very discouraged as well. I had to look inward. Maybe you shouldn't have cancelled the BBQ. Isn't 2 friends pretty good? Really, though, I don't know. People everywhere, Christians and non-Christians alike, are so busy or hurting so badly that reaching out becomes a chore. I will pray for you right now.
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#4
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#4
This is a question I ask the Lord about often. I was given away to people who didn't want me when I was 6 months old, and being rejected is the story of my life.

Now, my friends have died, and my one remaining relative who will speak to me says she is not my friend but she feels responsible for me. I think that is only because I have given her my house and all my saving if I die, and I am 89 already. She called today about something to do with my welfare, and stated that she feels responsible for me, but she is not my friend.

I am 89, facing a possibility of cancer and my doctor says so what? you will soon die anyway. I am blind, so I cannot leave my house for groceries, and the only person I know has only friends who are into drugs and thinks of my meager savings as something that makes me rich. She feels that as a Christian, I should share them with her and her drug using friends.

So, where is the Lord in all of this? How does the Lord see this? The Lord leaves each person free to choose their own way, so we must do the same for them. I am sure that the Lord gave my relative the feeling of being responsible for me, and I bless her for responding to that. It is not the Lord who leads her to not being my friend.

Even if all this leads to my very death, God is there to protect and care for me. It is not the Lord's doing that the love I give out is not returned, it is Satan. So, with all that seems against my well being in this life, God is working for my good, I can trust in the Lord right up until death.
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#5
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#5
Thank you, yes

hope4us said:
Oh Gosh. I'm really sorry and I understand why you are discouraged. While I agree Jesus is the only friend who won't ever let us down, I do believe God gives us friends as a testiment to His love and that we ought to be able to trust other people. I wonder if your discouragement leaks out in any way? I've had to ask myself the same question before. Always one to easily make friends, I've experienced 2 times in my life when it was really difficult, and I was very discouraged as well. I had to look inward. Maybe you shouldn't have cancelled the BBQ. Isn't 2 friends pretty good? Really, though, I don't know. People everywhere, Christians and non-Christians alike, are so busy or hurting so badly that reaching out becomes a chore. I will pray for you right now.
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J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#6
#6
RedTent said:
This is a question I ask the Lord about often. I was given away to people who didn't want me when I was 6 months old, and being rejected is the story of my life.

Now, my friends have died, and my one remaining relative who will speak to me says she is not my friend but she feels responsible for me. I think that is only because I have given her my house and all my saving if I die, and I am 89 already. She called today about something to do with my welfare, and stated that she feels responsible for me, but she is not my friend.

I am 89, facing a possibility of cancer and my doctor says so what? you will soon die anyway. I am blind, so I cannot leave my house for groceries, and the only person I know has only friends who are into drugs and thinks of my meager savings as something that makes me rich. She feels that as a Christian, I should share them with her and her drug using friends.

So, where is the Lord in all of this? How does the Lord see this? The Lord leaves each person free to choose their own way, so we must do the same for them. I am sure that the Lord gave my relative the feeling of being responsible for me, and I bless her for responding to that. It is not the Lord who leads her to not being my friend.

Even if all this leads to my very death, God is there to protect and care for me. It is not the Lord's doing that the love I give out is not returned, it is Satan. So, with all that seems against my well being in this life, God is working for my good, I can trust in the Lord right up until death.
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I'm so sorry. :( That IS sad. People have no respect these days.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#7
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
83
#7
kim12345 said:
!. I invite our whole bible study group to come over for a bbq fundraiser thingy and on the invite stated RSVP only 2 people rsyp'd so I cancelled it . Several of them made up excuses why they didn't respond. One couple has never Once responded back to any invites. This is not the first time with this group.

2. I went to a womens faith convention at our church and ask 2 lady friends to save me a seat cause I wont get there till the actual hour it started. I text them up to that point then when the music started they never responded back or looked for me etc. I couldn't find them because there were 2000 ladies. so no seats I went home then they apologized the next day.
Click to expand...

Try being friendly without requiring anything from others. People would have probably enjoyed a barbeque, but not being hit-up for money while they eat. That sort of thing takes all the fun out of it. Its also difficult to save a seat for someone when 2000 people are packed in a room with no empty seats. Don't be needy, don't demand anything from friends or constantly ask for favors. Try making yourself into a low maintenance person that's a pleasure to be around. jmo.
 
T

tenderhearted

Guest
#8
#8
I get where you're coming from. We invited people from our small group to a BBQ and only one couple could make it. We still had a great time! It was more intimate than if we would have had the whole group. It does get discouraging when people are always busy and you want to make connections. When we invite people over it's normally different people. We are still blessed by their company. The hardest part for me is when I have gone through difficult times in my life and no one was there. I have learned not to expect anything from people anymore, even their friendship. Now whenever there's a need in my life God provides people to help me. It may not be in the way I would want it, but it's not up to me. What I can do is look around and find ways that I can be God's hands and feet for someone. I depend on God to fill those gaps in my life. I pray that you do not give up hope. Be encouraged you're not alone.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#9
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#9
Well! I see it this way:

My own children prefer to send SMS their friends, arely my Mom or me (myself). Those days they wrote to me were when NEEDED ME (it be for a favor or for money). Do you think I love them the less?

I have asked Joshua´s a couple of time for a job I CAN DO MYSELF, but he´s working and "somewhat" free on weekends, do you think I feel discouraged when he likes to be with his friends or girls? I don´t! It is I who have to do my lines to buy food and I understand my mom calling me whenever she thinks she needs me (just to get "the help" she might need asssured by me).

I have personal friends and I can count them with my fingers, because I´m not used to having friends at my convenience, but at real affection.

I just shared the way I am (or the way I think I am).
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#10
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#10
Thanks Dan, yes I agree with most of what you wrote. I do want to share that the fundraiser part was because we are a group of Chrisitans always sitting together once a week taking about what can we do to serve or minister or help. We Never serve together. I was trying to put something together to benefit someone other than ourselves. I was only asking for 5 - 10 dollars suggested donation. I was buying all the food etc. So I don't agree that asking that was too much if people truly want to live a life of love instead of just reading the bible together.

Dan58 said:

Try being friendly without requiring anything from others. People would have probably enjoyed a barbeque, but not being hit-up for money while they eat. That sort of thing takes all the fun out of it. Its also difficult to save a seat for someone when 2000 people are packed in a room with no empty seats. Don't be needy, don't demand anything from friends or constantly ask for favors. Try making yourself into a low maintenance person that's a pleasure to be around. jmo.
Click to expand...
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#11
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#11
Tenderhearted , Thank You I really appreciated you sharing your experience and wisdom! thanks :)

tenderhearted said:
I get where you're coming from. We invited people from our small group to a BBQ and only one couple could make it. We still had a great time! It was more intimate than if we would have had the whole group. It does get discouraging when people are always busy and you want to make connections. When we invite people over it's normally different people. We are still blessed by their company. The hardest part for me is when I have gone through difficult times in my life and no one was there. I have learned not to expect anything from people anymore, even their friendship. Now whenever there's a need in my life God provides people to help me. It may not be in the way I would want it, but it's not up to me. What I can do is look around and find ways that I can be God's hands and feet for someone. I depend on God to fill those gaps in my life. I pray that you do not give up hope. Be encouraged you're not alone.
Click to expand...
 
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