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Thread: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

  1. #21
    Senior Member Jruiz's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    I only can imagine how devastated you are...it always amazes me how people can go to church, praise god, thank Jesus and live a life of sin...what he is doing just shows he's NOT a God fearing man...I think you know what to do. You don't deserve this..seek god first..."delight in The Lord and All things will be added unto you". I'll pray for you!

  2. #22
    Senior Member BeanieD's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    There is no reason for you to stay in that relationship. I really don't believe God would demand you stay in this type of thing. I would just pray for him constantly but I would find another place to live for the time being. Stay very close to God and find others you can talk to and fellowship with to help keep your faith strong. Let God handle the rest. God bless you hon, I have been in very similar

  3. #23
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Rosa,

    I'm just curious how you know for sure that he's doing these things. Did you see him? Did multiple witnesses report back to you about him? Did you connect the dots and figure it out with some evidence you had? Facebook posts? Emails? Texts?

  4. #24
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Whatapp messages, and one example...he went out one night and I was c
    Just had a feeling so I went through his pockets and saw a business card from a membership request for a gay orgy club..then later that day I snooped in his email and saw he signed up and I kept snooping in the email...then I saw a date for the next gay orgy which was disgusting, theme was football all that was requested they bring was football socks as the dress code...I was late that night on purpose just to see if he would go...and he came home at 3 am...the next morning I looked in his bag he took and saw huess what? You guessed it...a pair of football socks...there is another orgy friday he rsvp for im going to go hide and see if I get photos....I wish I could leave but as I said I gave up everthing to move to his country...I have no money what so ever...and I dont have to worry...he doesnt touch me intimately...he has only once and that was almost 2 months after we got married...hasnt touched me since..we've been married 6 months...for a long time I felt like there was something wrong with me but every day someone passes me in the street telling me im beautiful...welcome to my life...this is just a tip of the iceberg.
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  5. #25
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    This is the "nutshell" version of my story... My ex-wife now had an affair and "came out" early last year and the hardest thing for me was trying to figure out how to respond as a christian. To cut a very long story short, my advice don't think about "what if" but look at "what is" and as hard as it is to accept it try to accept it and move on. I admire that you acknowledge you need to forgive him and I agree. Divorcing him and moving on doesn't mean you don't forgive him and doesn't mean you don't love him. I love my ex-wife as a fellow person/human being and do not hope any bad for her. What happens with her, good and bad, no longer has anything to do with me. That is not said in bitterness. I know God loves her and will bring her back to Him.

    Keep loving God and trust Him because He will bring you through this. As hard as it can be and even in the times where it feels like God is doing nothing, just keep trusting because He loves you and will bring you through it.

  6. #26
    Senior Member lncy's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    rosa...you also deserve to be happy ok. I agree with Yowie with looking at "what is". You probably need to have a frank, open talk with your husband, as awkward and horrible as it may seem to you now. But it needs to be done so you can be happy too.

  7. #27
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Quote Originally Posted by rosa28 View Post
    I found out my devout...singing in concerts praising god husband is gay...what makes it worse is he doesnt have a gay relationship he goes to sex orgies....we have been married 5 months and he has touched me once ...the only time he touches me is to criticise me...no one know I know..he always questions my faith and last week he came home 3am from a sex orgy and said to me sunday morning..lets go to church it'll be good for us...but my spirits wont allow it, I went to another church alone and just cried....im going mad...I gave up EVERYTHING to be with him and im stuck in this marraige for another 7 months until I can get stuff together...he has no idea I know as much as I do...God forgive me but I hate him.
    Hi Rosa,

    I don't know the full story but , on a practical level, you are not in a very good place right now. the fact that you are at risk. At risk of HIV and other STDs is not enough… you are also at risk of any abuse that could result from him knowing that you know. He is already abusive emotionally.
    I am not sure what is purpose was by marrying you but it looks like he doesn't really want people to know he is gay.
    You don't have family around and followed him in a new country….Be careful how to proceed.
    and also contact a refuge centre for women if you are likely to find yourself homeless and you are not working.

    I am really sorry you are going through this.For someone who have been married and divorced from a deceiving husband, I can tell you this. Its' time to ask God for a soul searching yourself. Pray. Ask for direction. Pray for him. for yourself.

    While I was praying, I was prepared for anything.
    If God had said that I should stay and love my husband to show the Love of Christ so he can transform him, I would have stayed. But when Jesus told me my husband never belonged to him anyway, I knew what I had to do. I was shocked because we were both worship leaders in our church and he was the son of the pastor.

    I don't know how strong is your own walk with the Lord. But sometimes, we enter these marriages with our own doubts as if God was trying to say something, but we are too quick to dismiss God's warning as we cannot believe such wonderful christian looking guy could be a fake. I know this because I dismissed my own doubts and went ahead to get married. Now I know.
    When I asked God what to do when i "discovered" my husband , I was prepared for anything God would want me to do; God may have allowed the marriage because He knows the Love you would show to your husband so he could change him and he would see the love of God through you.
    Or He would allow you to be free if God cannot work through both of you because one partner has let the Devil take possession of them…
    If your life and everything else is in danger, If your husband refuse to let God transform him, there is not much you can do.
    You , in any case, need to leave.

    Please pass the stage where you hate him. Give it to the Lord. It's simpler and you'll be able to pray clearly.
    Only God heals and transform the heart.

    Blessings and peace.
    Last edited by sunburn; July 15th, 2014 at 07:51 AM.
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  8. #28
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Quote Originally Posted by lncy View Post
    rosa...you also deserve to be happy ok. I agree with Yowie with looking at "what is". You probably need to have a frank, open talk with your husband, as awkward and horrible as it may seem to you now. But it needs to be done so you can be happy too.
    I agree you need to have that open talk. And I know how hard it is because the only reason it came out in the open when it did in my situation was when I called her on it. I know how hard it is and awkward it can be.

  9. #29
    Senior Member StoneThrower's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Quote Originally Posted by biscuit View Post
    It is next to impossible to convert a strong, lustful gay lifestyle to a Christian one. .
    Rubbish utter rubbish, sin is sin and nothing is to hard for God.
    In fact the first thing God does when he saves a person is He cleans up the big ugly sin, and than leaves the smaller stuff for the sanctification process.
    Another poster said your born that way Duh, we all born with a sin nature but that doesn't mean that when you are truly repentant that you will not turn from it hate it and have no desire for it.
    People have mixed psychological nonsense of the world, into there thinking and the repeat it.
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    “Am I supposed to be an evangelist, a minister, an author a chaplain, or a consultant? All I can say is, Gods Word grips me and drives me on, virtually preaching itself through me. I want to be faithful to its motives, its message, and its vision of Christ.” Donald Bridges

  10. #30
    Senior Member lncy's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    And I also agree with Sunburn....we don't know the actual specifics of your situation. He may react really badly to being confronted about it. Just be safe. If you feel you can have that open conversation with him, please do. At least you can both be on a level ground and the secrecy etc will be finished with. But if you don't feel like you can safely have this conversation with him, then please don't have it with him alone. I dont know if I'm making sense. Praying for you x
    Yowie, biscuit and sunburn like this.

  11. #31
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Quote Originally Posted by StoneThrower View Post
    Rubbish utter rubbish, sin is sin and nothing is to hard for God.
    In fact the first thing God does when he saves a person is He cleans up the big ugly sin, and than leaves the smaller stuff for the sanctification process.
    Another poster said your born that way Duh, we all born with a sin nature but that doesn't mean that when you are truly repentant that you will not turn from it hate it and have no desire for it.
    People have mixed psychological nonsense of the world, into there thinking and the repeat it.
    From what I hear & studied, the conversion rate from from gay lifestyle to a faithful one is extremely small. It all depends if one faith is stronger than the sin. Most gays who tried to make the conversion wind up going back to the sinful way. The same failure can be applied to drug addiction or criminal lifestyle (most go back to prison). It can be done but incredibly strong faith/counseling/family are almost mandatory.

  12. #32
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    I wonder if this is true... Regardless, the way most members of the Church avoid people from these lifestyles could be a factor maybe?

    Or else, we need to label this as not a "lifestyle" but an addiction to sex.

  13. #33
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    everyone seems to be focusing on him being gay, would it be ok if he were having orgies with only females?

    No it wouldn't be... The issue that should be focused on is that fact that he is having orgies period, and that this man is verbally or emotionally abusive and that this man that I hope you once loved lives a double life you never knew about.

    That is betrayal and if he can't change then you need to get yourself out of that situation.
    I'm just curious how long did you know him before you married him?

  14. #34
    Senior Member BillG's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Quote Originally Posted by rosa28 View Post
    Whatapp messages, and one example...he went out one night and I was c
    Just had a feeling so I went through his pockets and saw a business card from a membership request for a gay orgy club..then later that day I snooped in his email and saw he signed up and I kept snooping in the email...then I saw a date for the next gay orgy which was disgusting, theme was football all that was requested they bring was football socks as the dress code...I was late that night on purpose just to see if he would go...and he came home at 3 am...the next morning I looked in his bag he took and saw huess what? You guessed it...a pair of football socks...there is another orgy friday he rsvp for im going to go hide and see if I get photos....I wish I could leave but as I said I gave up everthing to move to his country...I have no money what so ever...and I dont have to worry...he doesnt touch me intimately...he has only once and that was almost 2 months after we got married...hasnt touched me since..we've been married 6 months...for a long time I felt like there was something wrong with me but every day someone passes me in the street telling me im beautiful...welcome to my life...this is just a tip of the iceberg.
    With evidence confront him.
    If he refuses to listen, take someone else.
    If he still refuses to listen then take it to the elders.
    I would also file for divorce.
    Lord

    Help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

  15. #35
    Senior Member maxwel's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    This post is ALMOST 4 YEARS OLD...

    and it's about someone's PARTICULAR PROBLEM, which was IMMEDIATE and TIME ORIENTED, from the FAMILY FORUM.



    Since the OP hasn't posted in almost 4 years, we need to let this thread go.

  16. #36
    Idiot in Chief Oncefallen's Avatar
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    Default Re: my christian husband is gay and doesnt know I know

    Guys, the thread is almost 4 years old and the OP hasn't logged in for 3.5 years.
    Angela53510, kaylagrl and Chester like this.

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