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J
Good that you have asked for many advices about your concern. But these are all advices, you're still the best person to find the best answer. Also I don't know much of your husband's personality or even yours. Just take this as an opinion and not coming from an expert. My advice is if situation won't permit you to a church wedding, let it be for the time being but still goal for a church wedding at the right set of time, place, finances, relationships, etc. Remember, God sets the time and the place. Pray hard that God will give you wisdom what to do and pray before you talk to the people involved.
God bless and will pray for a blessed wedding!
God bless and will pray for a blessed wedding!
B
Thanks for your advice don't feel so bad now but to ugly ,, I belive that everyone had the right to believe in what and who they want and I know my partner is a good man who saved me from a very evil abuser my ex partner so even tho he may not be religious it won't affect my love for him and I'm sure god would understand that x
The bible clearly teaches that believers are not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Marriage is a yoke. What of the children? Churched or unchurched. God has determined that the husband should be the spiritual leader in the household. Will this man lead you closer to Christ?
If you marry in or out of the church is of no practical avail in this situation. How can you expect God's blessing if you do not want God's person?
For the cause of Christ
Roger
If you marry in or out of the church is of no practical avail in this situation. How can you expect God's blessing if you do not want God's person?
For the cause of Christ
Roger
I agree with the others. Do not marry an unbeliever or you will regret it. How will you raise children? What if he doesn't want you to teach them about Jesus or take them to church? What if he decides he doesn't want you to go to church, or even read the Bible?
The setting is not the issue. The different religious beliefs are.
Psychologically, when you fall for someone right after coming out of an abusive marriage it is called a "rebound." You have been "rescued" and you are not over the grief and sorrow of the first relationship. It is a very dangerous thing, because you are not thinking properly, you just want the person to treat you right.
My advice is to put this wedding on hold. Get some counseling from a certified Christian counselor. Learn about the cycle of abuse, and especially about rebounding after abuse. I see red flags everywhere.
I guess my last thing is to ask you if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ? Being a Christian is not merely about going to church, it is about following Jesus and believing the Bible. I pray you understand and have committed your life to Christ. If not, then that is the first thing you need to take care of.
The setting is not the issue. The different religious beliefs are.
Psychologically, when you fall for someone right after coming out of an abusive marriage it is called a "rebound." You have been "rescued" and you are not over the grief and sorrow of the first relationship. It is a very dangerous thing, because you are not thinking properly, you just want the person to treat you right.
My advice is to put this wedding on hold. Get some counseling from a certified Christian counselor. Learn about the cycle of abuse, and especially about rebounding after abuse. I see red flags everywhere.
I guess my last thing is to ask you if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ? Being a Christian is not merely about going to church, it is about following Jesus and believing the Bible. I pray you understand and have committed your life to Christ. If not, then that is the first thing you need to take care of.
So, God would bless one person, because one is religious and the other is not?
I hope the one who seemed to be the "unbeliever" (or not religious) understand "the Church is two or moer people gathered in the name of Jesus, not a building neither of its officials or agents, so GOD be invited 1st by two or 3 who call Him to come to the wedding and the whole marriage.
I hope the one who seemed to be the "unbeliever" (or not religious) understand "the Church is two or moer people gathered in the name of Jesus, not a building neither of its officials or agents, so GOD be invited 1st by two or 3 who call Him to come to the wedding and the whole marriage.
S
I would hardly ever say that the woman is a believer herself.
She has a vague notion that a church wedding is blessed and that's enough to get married in the church?
Let's face it…she is far from being a committed christian. Why tell her she is unequally yoked when she is the same as him.
What does it matter based on her post if she marries in the church or wherever.
She has a vague notion that a church wedding is blessed and that's enough to get married in the church?
Let's face it…she is far from being a committed christian. Why tell her she is unequally yoked when she is the same as him.
What does it matter based on her post if she marries in the church or wherever.
U
Biblically speaking the man is the Spiritual head of the household. How can God be ok with you choosing a man who is not willing, nor capable of fulfilling his biblical role of the marriage? Since when is 'good man' by human standards equated to Gods standards? Since God says our 'righteous is as filthy rags'. Human goodness only applies to human thinking. Godly goodness starts with a sincere heart to follow Him, and from that desire flows the good His spirit stirs within us to do, not out of our own self perceived goodness (as sinners, mind you) but out of Gods movement in our hearts.
If you have children how will you raise them as Godly children when their spiritual leader doesn't believe? How will you explain to your children you made a choice to marry someone that doesn't not follow God? That is hell bound? How will you cope if he dies knowing he will be in hell? Will God see this as a good union for future children under these circumstances? Are you prepared to take on the role of the husband spiritually, while at the same time dealing with your husbands disbelief? And how will his disbelief play into the things you are trying to teach them?
He may be a good man, by human standards. He might be a great husband in many ways even. But i'm sorry, to believe that his secular, human, unspiritual goodness is a sign that God will be happy that you choose someone who cannot and will not fulfill his spiritual role just does not mesh. What people mean when they say 'God will understand' is that 'this is what i want to do and i'm going to do it and tell myself God doesn't mind so i don't feel guilt'. We don't just get to say 'God will understand' and that makes bad choices good suddenly. Otherwise i could say 'i'm single, lonely and need some physical interaction, i'm going to take this girl out tonight and sleep with her, God will understand'. Pick a sin, any sin, go do it and say 'God will understand'. If that were the case sin would be irrelevant because God would understand. No need for Christ to die on the cross. Because God understands we're going to sin. So no holding it against us. But that's not really what the bible teaches, is it?
God understands the desires, that we have them. But that doesn't mean God excuses our behaviors.
The bible makes it clear following Christ is about giving up what we want, picking up our crosses and many times doing things the hard way, to follow him. Whether that's a physical, mental, spiritual and sometimes even emotional difficult road. Right is right, regardless of our feelings and opinions. God says 'I am the SAME yesterday, today and forever'. Not 'well, it's wrong, but i'll let it slide, this time, just for you, because i understand *wink wink nudge nudge'.
Notice that? Just for you? Why would it be ok for you, but wrong for everyone else?
Anyways, i'm not putting you down or telling you what to do, but rather giving you things to think about. It's your choice in the end and you will follow what is most important to you.
Also, i'm sorry about your previous relationship. I really hate hearing about abusive marriages and i'm very glad you were able to escape it.
If you have children how will you raise them as Godly children when their spiritual leader doesn't believe? How will you explain to your children you made a choice to marry someone that doesn't not follow God? That is hell bound? How will you cope if he dies knowing he will be in hell? Will God see this as a good union for future children under these circumstances? Are you prepared to take on the role of the husband spiritually, while at the same time dealing with your husbands disbelief? And how will his disbelief play into the things you are trying to teach them?
He may be a good man, by human standards. He might be a great husband in many ways even. But i'm sorry, to believe that his secular, human, unspiritual goodness is a sign that God will be happy that you choose someone who cannot and will not fulfill his spiritual role just does not mesh. What people mean when they say 'God will understand' is that 'this is what i want to do and i'm going to do it and tell myself God doesn't mind so i don't feel guilt'. We don't just get to say 'God will understand' and that makes bad choices good suddenly. Otherwise i could say 'i'm single, lonely and need some physical interaction, i'm going to take this girl out tonight and sleep with her, God will understand'. Pick a sin, any sin, go do it and say 'God will understand'. If that were the case sin would be irrelevant because God would understand. No need for Christ to die on the cross. Because God understands we're going to sin. So no holding it against us. But that's not really what the bible teaches, is it?
God understands the desires, that we have them. But that doesn't mean God excuses our behaviors.
The bible makes it clear following Christ is about giving up what we want, picking up our crosses and many times doing things the hard way, to follow him. Whether that's a physical, mental, spiritual and sometimes even emotional difficult road. Right is right, regardless of our feelings and opinions. God says 'I am the SAME yesterday, today and forever'. Not 'well, it's wrong, but i'll let it slide, this time, just for you, because i understand *wink wink nudge nudge'.
Notice that? Just for you? Why would it be ok for you, but wrong for everyone else?
Anyways, i'm not putting you down or telling you what to do, but rather giving you things to think about. It's your choice in the end and you will follow what is most important to you.
Also, i'm sorry about your previous relationship. I really hate hearing about abusive marriages and i'm very glad you were able to escape it.
To answer your question about where you should marry, look at the bible and see what you find about the act of becoming married. The standing in front of family and reciting vows in a church then kissing a bride is just man made tradition. When it talks about two people getting married the only example we are ever given is the two having sex and then they are married. It isn't the ceremony that makes you married, it's the commitment, regardless of a signed contract.
As far as marrying an unbeliever, (I am not one mysef, so I don't know how much you value my opinion), think about the alternatives. Do you leave him because of your faith, risking him resenting your beliefs for pulling you away from him? Do you remain in a committed relationship but not get legally married? Are you not then yoked together in life just like a married couple would be? When my husband and I married, the only thing that really changed between us was my address. My feelings weren't suddenly stronger because I told the rest of the world I was with him for good. We already knew that for a long time. We just made it legal. Or do you marry him and continue being an example of a good Christian. If anyone is likely to convert him, it would be his wife.
And shame on you sunburn for claiming to know how commited she is. Just because she doesn't adhere to your standard as a Christian (one of many versions of Christianity) doesn't mean she has any less commitment to what she believes. I have been made to think that the level of someones faith is something only God and the person in question knows. "For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? "
As far as marrying an unbeliever, (I am not one mysef, so I don't know how much you value my opinion), think about the alternatives. Do you leave him because of your faith, risking him resenting your beliefs for pulling you away from him? Do you remain in a committed relationship but not get legally married? Are you not then yoked together in life just like a married couple would be? When my husband and I married, the only thing that really changed between us was my address. My feelings weren't suddenly stronger because I told the rest of the world I was with him for good. We already knew that for a long time. We just made it legal. Or do you marry him and continue being an example of a good Christian. If anyone is likely to convert him, it would be his wife.
And shame on you sunburn for claiming to know how commited she is. Just because she doesn't adhere to your standard as a Christian (one of many versions of Christianity) doesn't mean she has any less commitment to what she believes. I have been made to think that the level of someones faith is something only God and the person in question knows. "For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? "
It's so important to marry someone who follows Christ, I was in a relationship with a man who believed yes but his faith was little. And it didn't work out, for so many reasons. I think you should think where you find yourself with your journey with Christ because if you are unwilling to give your life to God then you aren't doing what God has asked from us. And you will fall away with your husband as non believers. PS it's very hard to change your man also, he needs to find it himself. I wouldn't rush into anything.. Good luck
T
Yes, at this stage, I would post-pone the wedding. See if God works on his heart. Then in time, once he's grown in his faith, you can talk marriage. But then get some good pre-marriage counselling. And then you can choose a church, a garden, the beach - anywhere, it doesn't matter, to hold your wedding ceremony/reception.
All I have to add is "ditto."
Do not marry an unbeliever. Your life will be miserable. His life will be miserable.
Why would you want to marry someone who does not hold the same basic core values that you do? Marriage is tough stuff. And if you're both looking at life through different prisms, it's going to be even tougher.
Please don't marry this man at this time.
Do not marry an unbeliever. Your life will be miserable. His life will be miserable.
Why would you want to marry someone who does not hold the same basic core values that you do? Marriage is tough stuff. And if you're both looking at life through different prisms, it's going to be even tougher.
Please don't marry this man at this time.