Heavy leadership?

[syborg]

We have been part of a church for about 2 years or so and we have found it hard to 'break in' as there are definite clicks (cliques) in the church - however my wife finally made a few good friends and they decided to meet once a month for a meal at a local Greek place where they pay £20 for a Greek Meze meal of several courses of fruits, meats, salad and breads.. the invite was open to non christian friends and friends from other churches.. the invite went to a couple of fringe friends in our regular church but two of them cancelled and then soon after the elders called one of the ladies in and questioned her saying the meal was a clique and too expensive.. they said the leaders wives would need to attend the next meal in order to see what the deal was and how the women were behaving to ensure they acted in a manner keeping of believers... when the leaders wives did attend they said that the meal neededto move from the restaurant to the church building possibly once every 3 months and should include a teaching...

My wife and her friends stated that this would not work as it was just friends having a meal and enjoying each others company... the non christian friends who were in attendance at this meal lost their temper and have now been put off church over this behaviour.. the christian friends from the other church I mentioned felt like they were not welcome as they were not part of our church and this meal was now being suggested as a church thing .. this whole thing makes me very cautions of heavy shepherding and spiritual abuse.. I dont know what right the leaders have to tell my wife and friends how often they should meet socially, how much it should cost and where it should be held and with whom ...

What are the thoughts of folks here please?

I understand you only have one side of the story but this is as it occured...

 

[santuzza]

I think it is completely ridiculous that leadership in your church want to control the social life of its members. I guess I would tell the leadership to buzz off. Since this was a non-church event (i.e. not set up by the church), then they have absolutely no business telling members what do to -- as long as they are not misrepresenting the church (or claiming it is a church-sanctioned event) or even acting in an overtly sinful way.

Sounds like it's time for a new church. I certainly wouldn't stay there.

 

[Nautilus]

We have been part of a church for about 2 years or so and we have found it hard to 'break in' as there are definite clicks (cliques) in the church - however my wife finally made a few good friends and they decided to meet once a month for a meal at a local Greek place where they pay £20 for a Greek Meze meal of several courses of fruits, meats, salad and breads.. the invite was open to non christian friends and friends from other churches.. the invite went to a couple of fringe friends in our regular church but two of them cancelled and then soon after the elders called one of the ladies in and questioned her saying the meal was a clique and too expensive.. they said the leaders wives would need to attend the next meal in order to see what the deal was and how the women were behaving to ensure they acted in a manner keeping of believers... when the leaders wives did attend they said that the meal neededto move from the restaurant to the church building possibly once every 3 months and should include a teaching...

My wife and her friends stated that this would not work as it was just friends having a meal and enjoying each others company... the non christian friends who were in attendance at this meal lost their temper and have now been put off church over this behaviour.. the christian friends from the other church I mentioned felt like they were not welcome as they were not part of our church and this meal was now being suggested as a church thing .. this whole thing makes me very cautions of heavy shepherding and spiritual abuse.. I dont know what right the leaders have to tell my wife and friends how often they should meet socially, how much it should cost and where it should be held and with whom ...

What are the thoughts of folks here please?

I understand you only have one side of the story but this is as it occured...

Your church sounds ridiculous and alomst cult-like with their level of control. Best suggestion run fast and find a new church.

 

[Dan58]

I agree, your church ladies are control freaks, they want to force feed your friends in their church. Its pushy people like that who turn others off of Christianity. I'd rather spend time with an over zealous used car salesman that deal with them. I'd politely tell them to mind their own business. This is no different than when the Pharisees criticized Jesus for eating with sinners (Mark 2:16).

 

[crossnote]

There are doctrinal aberrant cults and sociological aberant cults...looks like you found one of the latter.

 

[syborg]

There are doctrinal aberrant cults and sociological aberant cults...looks like you found one of the latter.

I am sorry - please clarify - never heard this term before?