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....and grace. Most parents confuse the essence of personhood with the behavior of said person. Teach through your interaction with life and circumstance. God doesn't rule over you with an iron fist but gently and patiently instructs you. Say yes as much as you possibly can. Most importantly, have fun with your kids. Fun shared experiences are what make relationships great.
If they are young, spanking is not inappropriate for deliberate disobedience. But always remembering that spanking is done calmly, and with love. No beating allowed!
Couple this with love, reading the Word of God, praying with them, and playing with them, and you have set boundaries and limits, which will internalize and be with them the rest of their lives! It is just wrong not to set boundaries for children, even as young as 10 months! They will never learn to obey God, or the rules of life or the laws of the land, if they have not internalized the boundaries they received as a young child growing up!
Couple this with love, reading the Word of God, praying with them, and playing with them, and you have set boundaries and limits, which will internalize and be with them the rest of their lives! It is just wrong not to set boundaries for children, even as young as 10 months! They will never learn to obey God, or the rules of life or the laws of the land, if they have not internalized the boundaries they received as a young child growing up!
Setting boundaries is definitely a must. Not only will it help them to follow both the laws of God and their land but it will also help them feel safe and cared for. People don't seem to understand that not setting rules and boundaries makes children unhappy and nervous because it makes them feel unsafe. That's why chaotic households always have the most troubled children. Set limits and boundaries, and also make sure you have a lot of structure in your home routine. Make sure the kids know what the rules are and the consequences for not following them. And always follow through with consequences!!! When they have to be punished then be firm but not angry or mean.
Some parents don't want to punish their children because they are afraid their children won't like them. Never fall into this trap. Your children will not only still love but also respect you if they know you mean business. Be their parent, not their best friend.
Overly permissive parenting is a problem in this day and age but you also don't want to go in the other direction and be a dictator. There's a healthy balance between the two.
Some parents don't want to punish their children because they are afraid their children won't like them. Never fall into this trap. Your children will not only still love but also respect you if they know you mean business. Be their parent, not their best friend.
Overly permissive parenting is a problem in this day and age but you also don't want to go in the other direction and be a dictator. There's a healthy balance between the two.
This is embarrassing to tell you cause Im F/13 But my stepmom gives me a choice of punishments, grounding or spanking. Obviously I choose grounding but once I had a sleepover so I chose spanking. I was embarrassed but it did teach me a good lesson as I learned not to talk back and to respect my stepmom.
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From the very beginning! I started with my toddlers as soon as they understood what no meant. You can see it even in toddlers when they reach for something that they know they aren't suppose to have, they watch you to see what your reaction will be. You say no and then they test you. I started lightly spanking mine with a rolled up few sheets of paper on the diaper at this point. They couldn't even feel it but it made a popping sound and they clearly saw that disobedience would be met with discipline.
Start young like this and you don't have to beat children. They should be spanked at times but only for direct disobedience, never for mistakes. A spanking should be painful but never cause injury. Spankings should be for correction only, and never because they did something that made you mad.
Never threaten without following through. You can train a child to obey on the first command or on the fiftieth command. It's your choice.
Also while I'm on the subject, never break your word to them as a punishment. Don't tell your kid you are going to do something for them and then take it back because of misbehavior. If they misbehave spank them. Parents represent God in a child's life. The way we treat them is the way they will later believe God will treat them. Basing your promises on behavior is the surest way to develop a works mentality in a child. Yes, you need to set goals and reward appropriately. That's not what I am talking about. I'm talking about breaking clear promises based on bad behavior. Sometimes privileges are based on behavior, but those things should be clearly outlined ahead of the privilege. I'm saying never break a promise.
Start young like this and you don't have to beat children. They should be spanked at times but only for direct disobedience, never for mistakes. A spanking should be painful but never cause injury. Spankings should be for correction only, and never because they did something that made you mad.
Never threaten without following through. You can train a child to obey on the first command or on the fiftieth command. It's your choice.
Also while I'm on the subject, never break your word to them as a punishment. Don't tell your kid you are going to do something for them and then take it back because of misbehavior. If they misbehave spank them. Parents represent God in a child's life. The way we treat them is the way they will later believe God will treat them. Basing your promises on behavior is the surest way to develop a works mentality in a child. Yes, you need to set goals and reward appropriately. That's not what I am talking about. I'm talking about breaking clear promises based on bad behavior. Sometimes privileges are based on behavior, but those things should be clearly outlined ahead of the privilege. I'm saying never break a promise.
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It depends on the individual child, how they respond to discipline and their age. It also varies according as to what the child has done. Choose your battles wisely. As others have said it is important to set boundaries and be consistent. Children need to have boundaries although they will push against these at times. Having boundaries makes them feel safe and secure. If you are not consistent they will not know where they stand and it will confuse them. Not a good example if they can only have a pudding if they eat all their dinner don't only enforce this half the time. If you warn a child that something will happen if they continue doing something always follow threw.
When disciplining a child it needs to happen at the time the child is being disobedient not the next day particularly for young child they wont understand what they are being punished for. Also don't punish a child out of your anger and frustration, particularly if you are going to smack a child. Focus on positive behaviour, praising them where possible and ignoring bad behaviour. If you are going to punish them for being disobedient make sure they have heard and understand what you want them to do. Where possible get down to their level and speak to them. We found time outs to be very effective. I have even used them when we were out making my son sit somewhere. Taking your child away from the situation or activity also has worked, removing a special toy or privelidge. In our son's case not being allowed to play on the Wii U he normally is allowed to play for a short time on a Friday and also on a Sunday if he has done something he isn't allowed to play on it. Personally I don't normally send him to his room as I want him to love his room and not see it as a place he likes to go to. Young children distraction can work or moving them away from the situation
When disciplining a child and also after disciplining them it is important they know you still love them, that you love them no matter what. When my son has not been allowed to do something and has said I hate you, I have responded I still love you. Also it is important that the child is aware it is their behaviour that you don't like not them. I have said when you do x it makes mummy sad.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
When disciplining a child it needs to happen at the time the child is being disobedient not the next day particularly for young child they wont understand what they are being punished for. Also don't punish a child out of your anger and frustration, particularly if you are going to smack a child. Focus on positive behaviour, praising them where possible and ignoring bad behaviour. If you are going to punish them for being disobedient make sure they have heard and understand what you want them to do. Where possible get down to their level and speak to them. We found time outs to be very effective. I have even used them when we were out making my son sit somewhere. Taking your child away from the situation or activity also has worked, removing a special toy or privelidge. In our son's case not being allowed to play on the Wii U he normally is allowed to play for a short time on a Friday and also on a Sunday if he has done something he isn't allowed to play on it. Personally I don't normally send him to his room as I want him to love his room and not see it as a place he likes to go to. Young children distraction can work or moving them away from the situation
When disciplining a child and also after disciplining them it is important they know you still love them, that you love them no matter what. When my son has not been allowed to do something and has said I hate you, I have responded I still love you. Also it is important that the child is aware it is their behaviour that you don't like not them. I have said when you do x it makes mummy sad.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
I believe that when kids are small, corporal punishment may be necessary, not to hurt, but get their attention. In today's politically correct environment though, it might be wise not to spank in public. After grade school though, other forms of punishment should be used to instill discipline.
For young kids; "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him" (Proverbs22:15)
Teenagers should be corrected as God chastens us; "My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth" (Proverbs 3:11-12)
