Wife gets an abortion

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
A

amymine712

Guest
#21
How can anyone help you if you cant see that it is possible to kill someone with your lips? You need to have an example then what if you dont understand that. Ok you want help lets see ,you can kill their desire, you can kill their zeal, you can kill their belief, you can kill their determination, you can kill their spirit is this helpful. Being lovey dovey is only saying that this is war sister and you are a soldier by default meaning you fight or you are training to enter the fight.

At some point all soldiers fight. We become doormats as you put it when we dont fight or are afraid to fight. Remember the enemy loves doormats. Point he wipes his feet on them!Did you study the dangers of the mouth or the lips I suggested that would help.Maybe you missed that part. God loves us and we love him so true. But that will not stop the enemy from attacking us.
Thank you for your response. It is as I said in my other post by slander, gossip, cruelty, etc. Although I have no idea what any of this has to do with the OP or my first post that you responded to. Are you upset that I called abortion murder? It is murder and if the woman repents and turns from her sin, she is forgiven. Murder isn't the unpardonable sin.

[h=1]Romans 9:11Amplified Bible (AMP)[/h]11 And the children were yet unborn and had so far done nothing either good or evil. Even so, in order further to carry out God’s purpose of selection (election, choice), which depends not on works or what men can do, but on Him Who calls [them],
 

Apostol2013

Senior Member
Jan 27, 2013
2,105
39
48
#22
21 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: note

22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. note

23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.
 

Apostol2013

Senior Member
Jan 27, 2013
2,105
39
48
#23
But killing an unborn child is murder however you want to put it a child unborn is still a human being , mot yet come to existence but yet is alive and has a purpose given by God . But by mans intervention through satans warpedreasoning in each human as jllustrated by peter when he was rebuked by jesus . We see by abortions they are all participators of murder because of either irresponsibility although there are exceptions because of rape ,but in this case the acceptable outcome of this would be to give the child up for adoption . But murder is not acceptable and obstructs God's will. Therefore by doing so ye become enemies of God , then you say God will forgive ? How sure are you ? I will give an example , I knew real life murderers they would say i will kill then confess then i would be forgiven the problem here is a warped mind incapable of true discernment , because of lack of obedience to truth . In the kingdom we are to be born of the spirit and if one murders or goes contrary to the fruits of the spirit they are living the flesh in this is called rebellion , the devil attacks you behind the scenesand you may never be aware you are being snared till you are neck immerged or fully immerged in sin ,if you are not found faithfull it will be a folly to you , Then i will ask this , " will you do what your reasoning or the worlds way? , or will you do what the word of God states ? "
 

Apostol2013

Senior Member
Jan 27, 2013
2,105
39
48
#24
Now the answer it is very much a grounds for divorce if the wife disreguards the Husband especially disreguarding Gox by disreguarding the Husband for the man is the authority of God in his household , of course He be godly in . But the wife doing so but knowingly the disreguard of God's word , by this they become enemies of God remaining under God's curse . So this would make a person as being an unbeliever but worst that would make the person a traitor and grounds for divorce
 
C

churchmouse

Guest
#25
I would be more worried about her blatant disregard for a life that God created. In my book, abortion is murder. How could you continue to live with someone who has no regard for life?

Many times in scripture did murder take place and God still blessed and loved the person.

David...was a man after Gods own heart. He committed some of the most heinous sins in the Old Testament. Bathsheba brought devastating consequences to his life and others. He committed adultery with Bathsheba then tried to cover up her pregnancy, and when he failed doing that, he had her husband killed. Yet God still loved him and obviously forgave him. So if you are a Christian and you love the Lord like David eventually did...could you leave someone who might just need being led to the Lord?
I disagree with my husbands views on a lot of things...as he is not a believer. He said he was a believer when we married 34 years ago...but he wasn't. Do I leave him? Or do I show him how I love the Lord and that my actions just might bring him closer to God?
 
C

churchmouse

Guest
#26
Thank you for your response. It is as I said in my other post by slander, gossip, cruelty, etc. Although I have no idea what any of this has to do with the OP or my first post that you responded to. Are you upset that I called abortion murder? It is murder and if the woman repents and turns from her sin, she is forgiven. Murder isn't the unpardonable sin.

Romans 9:11Amplified Bible (AMP)

11 And the children were yet unborn and had so far done nothing either good or evil. Even so, in order further to carry out God’s purpose of selection (election, choice), which depends not on works or what men can do, but on Him Who calls [them],
Did God find favor with King David? Was not David an adulterer and murderer?
 
A

amymine712

Guest
#27
Did God find favor with King David? Was not David an adulterer and murderer?
You must not have read my previous post...here let me quote it for you.

Originally Posted by amymine712

Thank you for your response. It is as I said in my other post by slander, gossip, cruelty, etc. Although I have no idea what any of this has to do with the OP or my first post that you responded to. Are you upset that I called abortion murder? It is murder and if the woman repents and turns from her sin, she is forgiven. Murder isn't the unpardonable sin.
As far as what you and your husband do in your relationship, that is for you two to walk out. Back to the OP. To be married to a woman that has no regard for innocent lives and no regard or respect for her husband, is grounds for divorce. If I were in that situation, of course I can't be being a woman, I would get out of the relationship and work on forgiving her for killing my child. I would leave the rest up to God to fix.
 
C

churchmouse

Guest
#28
You must not have read my previous post...here let me quote it for you.



As far as what you and your husband do in your relationship, that is for you two to walk out. Back to the OP. To be married to a woman that has no regard for innocent lives and no regard or respect for her husband, is grounds for divorce. If I were in that situation, of course I can't be being a woman, I would get out of the relationship and work on forgiving her for killing my child. I would leave the rest up to God to fix.
So what your saying is that YOU could not forgive. God can forgive because he forgave me and I am a living testament...to His Grace. You would leave...because you could not forgive. What does scriptures say about that?

God the fixer? So you don't really believe in free will? We sin...he fixes? What about what We should do? If Christ could forgive me..how can I not forgive as well?
 
A

amymine712

Guest
#29
So what your saying is that YOU could not forgive. God can forgive because he forgave me and I am a living testament...to His Grace. You would leave...because you could not forgive. What does scriptures say about that?

God the fixer? So you don't really believe in free will? We sin...he fixes? What about what We should do? If Christ could forgive me..how can I not forgive as well?
Again with the not reading my post...

As far as what you and your husband do in your relationship, that is for you two to walk out. Back to the OP. To be married to a woman that has no regard for innocent lives and no regard or respect for her husband, is grounds for divorce. If I were in that situation, of course I can't be being a woman, I would get out of the relationship and work on forgiving her for killing my child. I would leave the rest up to God to fix.
Where did you come up with me not believing in free will? Of course we have free will. Did the woman not decide to go against God and her husband to have an abortion? With free will there is little I can do to help her see the light. Only God can convict her and lead her on the journey to repentance and forgiveness. As for forgiving her, that would be a huge process not easily walked out. It would take time and leaning a lot on God for help...it wouldn't be instant.

I think you are taking things way to personally and you need to step back and truly look at what is being said.
 
Jun 18, 2014
755
3
0
#30
This is strictly hypothetical, but based on the views/responses of men and women to recent political articles.

As a Christian, I feel that divorce is not an option in marriage, except in circumstances where there is physical/emotional abuse. It is my belief that most any other issue can be worked through if both partners are willing to work together and live out their faith.
But I've been seeing a number of men/women take the view that abortion is solely a woman's decision, and that even her husband should have no say in it, and that she doesn't even need to inform him of it. I pray that I will never be faced with such a situation myself, especially if I marry a true Christian woman, but it got me thinking about how I would feel in such a situation.

Is divorce, not just an option but an acceptable one - and perhaps the only one - if a woman were to do this to her husband? We need to forgive, but how can a husband reconcile with a wife that shows a blatant disregard and disrespect for their husband?
It's difficult to say. If I were a man discovering my wife had an abortion without my prior knowledge, I would obviously feel a lot of emotions about that. I'd feel she betrayed my trust, that perhaps she didn't trust me enough to tell me either. I'd feel upset that she was pregnant, and that now she's not. I'd feel hurt that we would have had a child together, but now we won't. I'd feel a lot of things, but I'd like to think I would also try to understand how she feels.

I would ask her why she felt she couldn't tell me. I would ask her why she felt she couldn't have the child, and I'd like to think people wouldn't make this a black and white thing , but rather realize things like this are between the couple to work out.

I'd like to think that my wife and I could better understand one another, and I'd imagine that if my wife were to take such a course of action, that I could bear some of the responsibility for contributing to the circumstances she had to consider in the decision she made.

A woman who was happy in her marriage, and who trusted her husband, and whose husband had earned her trust, would most likely involve her husband in such a decision, but for whatever reason, if she did not, I'd imagine there was a reason.

I understand the values people uphold for marriage; trust, compassion, responsibility, sharing, caring, kindness, understanding, but I also don't carry children, and when all is said and done, we can go back and forth with semantics, justifications, rules, regulations, black and white ideas of rights and wrongs, but she's the one that's carrying the child, and to look at this from a different angle; do we think a man should be able to tell his wife tohave an abortion? If not, then why do we think he should be able to tell her to have the child?

When all's said and done, it is her body, and it is her decision. Though, if she doesn't involve her husband in it, her husband has every right to feel saddened, aggrieved, angry and upset. But it's still her decision. A wife who loves her husband would allow him a say, but he doesn't necessarily have a right to one.

As a man, I feel a lot of synergy with this scenario, and I've really fought tooth and nail in the past to say 'a woman should ideally, make the decision after hearing her husband's input', but it's her body, her pain, her choice, and she'll have to live with whatever choice she makes as the true 'decider'. There's obviously a fallout for the husband, too, but that's the nature of our species. Woman have children. Men do not.
 

TheAristocat

Senior Member
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#31
I love your perspective. Such a great point. The child belongs to the man just as much as it does to the woman.

I could never imagine aborting my baby, even if the condition was harming my life... I'm not sure I can do it. Having life inside of you is such a beautiful gift, even though I've never been pregnant and do not know what it feels like.

The ways of the world is a sad, sad thing to watch...
In modern times the woman has far more power over the household than the man. Both being equal, the children basically belong to her. But that's based on secular reasoning. And faulty secular reasoning at that. If we're to follow this line of logic, the child doesn't even belong to the woman. Because the child is not part of the woman's body. If it were part of the woman's body, then it wouldn't need a placenta to protect it from the mother's immune system that would otherwise recognize it as a foreign entity.

So both secular and christian morality taken into consideration, I don't think anyone has the right to end the child's life unless it threatens the life of the mother.
 
J

Jocelyn1

Guest
#32
I would be interested in knowing how many women that are in loving non abusive marriages actually get abortions. I would imagine the number is very,very low. I have 3 friends that have had abortions and they were all pressured and threatened by their boyfriends.I was pressured by my mother to get one when I was 19. It's a good thing I was defiant.
So my answer to your hypothetical question is I don't think women who come from happy non abusive marriages with husbands that love them are sneaking off and getting abortions. So I don't think this is anything you really have to worry about. I think the chances of you marrying a christian woman and her sneaking off to get abortions is extremely unlikely. But it never hurts to ask someones stance on abortion before you marry.
 

phil36

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2009
8,260
2,111
113
51
#33
Hi, Although it's a hypothetical question, it may well be a very real reality around the world, although I would agree with Angela that the pressure would be more likely to come from the husband. In any case I would believe it to be wrong.

To answer your other point.. would it be a reason to divorce? Well, I don't personally think it would be. It would a long rough and often times painful journey.. but we all have had our sins forgiven shouldn't we follow that example of forgiveness. I know that adultery is a reason to divorce. Adultery is a reason that you can divorce but scripture never says that you have to.. restoration, if possible is always the best solution.
 
H

hishealingred

Guest
#34
"Judge not, that ye be not judged." Matthew 7:1

"Of these things put them in remembrance, charging them before the Lord that they strive not about words to no profit, but to the subverting of the hearers." 2 Timothy 2:14

"18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:18

"Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." Matthew 7:5
"But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves." James 1:22

"I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." Luke 5:32

"And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen," Acts 1:24


"
36 And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat.
37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,
38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.
39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying,
This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.
40 And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.
41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
43 Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but
she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.
45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but
this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.
46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but
this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.
47 Wherefore I say unto thee,
Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
48 And he said unto her,
Thy sins are forgiven.
49 And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also?
50 And he said to the woman,
Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace." Luke 7:36-50

"
23 Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples,2 Saying The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat:
3 All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.
4 For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.
5 But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments,
6 And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,
7 And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.
8 But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.
9 And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.
10 Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ.
11 But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.
12And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.
13 But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.
14 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.
15 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.
16 Woe unto you, ye blind guides, which say, Whosoever shall swear by the temple, it is nothing; but whosoever shall swear by the gold of the temple, he is a debtor!
17 Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold?
18 And, Whosoever shall swear by the altar, it is nothing; but whosoever sweareth by the gift that is upon it, he is guilty.
19 Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gift, or the altar that sanctifieth the gift?
20 Whoso therefore shall swear by the altar, sweareth by it, and by all things thereon.
21And whoso shall swear by the temple, sweareth by it, and by him that dwelleth therein.
22 And he that shall swear by heaven, sweareth by the throne of God, and by him that sitteth thereon.
23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.
25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.
26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.
28Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
29 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,
30 And say, If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.
31 Wherefore ye be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the children of them which killed the prophets.
32 Fill ye up then the measure of your fathers.
33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
34 Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city:
35 That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar.
36 Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation.
37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!
38Behold, your house is left unto you desolate.
39 For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord." Matthew 23:1-39

"
3 What advantage then hath the Jew? or what profit is there of circumcision?
2 Much every way: chiefly, because that unto them were committed the oracles of God.
3 For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?
4 God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.
5 But if our unrighteousness commend the righteousness of God, what shall we say? Is God unrighteous who taketh vengeance? (I speak as a man)
6 God forbid: for then how shall God judge the world?
7 For if the truth of God hath more abounded through my lie unto his glory; why yet am I also judged as a sinner?
8 And not rather, (as we be slanderously reported, and as some affirm that we say,) Let us do evil, that good may come? whose damnation is just.
9 What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin;
10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:
11 There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.
12 They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
13 Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips:
14 Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness:
15 Their feet are swift to shed blood:
16 Destruction and misery are in their ways:
17 And the way of peace have they not known:
18 There is no fear of God before their eyes.
19 Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.
20 Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.
21 But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets;

22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.
27 Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith.
28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.
29 Is he the God of the Jews only? is he not also of the Gentiles? Yes, of the Gentiles also:
30 Seeing it is one God, which shall justify the circumcision by faith, and uncircumcision through faith.
31 Do we then make void the law through faith? God forbid: yea, we establish the law." Romans 3
 
M

msgomez1000

Guest
#35
I am pregnant now, not married yet.
I am very pro life, I have an 9 month old and he is my world. I have a friend who almost got one it involved an affair and her husband wanted her to have one if baby was not his. Well unborn dna test baby was his and the baby and marriage are ok now. I even told her i would not go with her to the abortion clinic if she did.my is baby so perfect though things are rocky at times with money, I could never kill my unborn.
 
Aug 26, 2014
392
4
0
#36
Well if you don't know I cant tell you. Maybe you don't want to know. My humble suggestion to you is do a study on the dangers of the mouth then maybe you'll have better insight. All the fluffy lovey dovey other stuff is ok on a basic level but all believers are not well rooted or grounded in the word which is the problem.The love of God don't stop the devil or his minions from seeking to bash your head in at every turn! Abortion is then made to be a distraction issue from the act of sin. I'm not debating that issue been there done that. I'm simply saying our lips murder too.
Lips don't stop you from seeing another day. Abortion pretty definitively does that.
 
O

oldernotwiser

Guest
#37
I had an abortion in my late teens. My own mother talked me into it. I had the abortion on the very last day it was legal in my state...which is late. I was determined to keep the baby but Mom's pleading spoke louder than my conscious. I gave my life to The Lord shortly after, but held to the belief for a long while that abortion was a woman's choice and not murder. Despite my extreme ignorance, God was patient with me.

I married another man later that year, but was in no way ready for marriage because of my ignorance. That man suffered for it.

It is with that, I say, do not marry a woman who has had an abortion unless you are sure they are truly repentant over it and have received healing. And really, in these days of knowing so many truths about the small life inside... It is probably wise NOT to marry a woman who has done this thing. Eh, let me hear from you if you don't agree.

~Deb
deb, i agree, but i would want to emphasize that healing is certainly possible from all sins and with the power of the holy spirit the pain that those sins caused can be turned powerfully to good.