Should parents know everything about their children?

[SquishyStarfishy]

As a child there are many things that my parent's don't know about me. Although lately I feel that I should open up and tell my parents as if I had kids, I would want to know but at the same time I also feel a right to my privacy.

Which brings me to my question, Should parents know everything about their children?

 

[Matthew]

Having a fairly poor relationship with my parents I can understand what you mean, if your not open about your life it's hard to be truly close with someone and your parents are people you should be able to trust without fear of a harsh reaction,

That said I wouldn't say they should know 'everything', you know everyone has a right to privacy and I am believer in the idea that everyone has secrets in so far as they have thoughts they keep to themselves or they made a youthful mistake that affected only them so they learn from it but there is no need to share it unless it is a burden, but I am talking about small things there.

If there are things about your life you want to move past then you should speak to them because you shouldn't keep things inside that are bothering you out of fear no-one will understand, they just do damage on the inside instead of the outside and never go away, but I wouldn't ever tell my parents everything, some things are mine to know and mine alone.

 

[tryingtofindhim]

Depends on the parents, I wouldn't tell my parents about a lot of stuff out of fear of them. It also depends on the age if I child is 14 its time the parents butt out of their business.

 

[FixYourWeave]

Thats a good question, and one i will never know the answer to

 

[MahogonySnail]

I think it's none of parents business unless you are under 21 and not independent.

 

[timjim]

Yes I think parents should know what their children are getting into, but the problem is todays parents are so apithetic that they let their kids do about
anything.

 

[Stand_Up_4_God]

Yes I think parents should know what their children are getting into, but the problem is todays parents are so apithetic that they let their kids do about
anything.

Agreed. I know children,teens, and all need their privacy. However,why do you think there's so many younger ones into things? Drugs, drinking, sex, partying, dressing where they basically have no clothes on, and what they do have on you can pretty much see most of their body. Gangs, stabbings, shootings, teen, preteen, pregnancy, rapes, you name it. I know parents can't watch their child 24/7/365, but they need to have an idea of where they are, whom they're with, and what they're doing. It may not be their child doing wrong, BUT all it takes is them being caught in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people. Sometimes, there's people children and teens hang around, whom have been in a lot of trouble...the parents don't know that, and the child most certainly won't tell them. I don't mean track their every move, BUT get a cell phone or something. You never know what could happen. What if they break down somewhere? What if they run out of gas, what if they get into some form of trouble and they have no way to contact anyone? There's way more to it than just privacy and freedom.

 

[pickles]

My kids and I talked about almost everything. They had a few secrets but they would be surprized at how much I knew. When it came to their heart and safety, yes parents should talk with their children. If you noticed I said talk with, not to them.
I always worked to respect what they said even when we did not agree. I believe that is why we were able to talk and still do. They do have teir secrets, but I feel it is more about them belonging to themselves, not to me. So their secrets are safe with them, even if I do know.
I have always believed that my children were given to my care but still belonged to God, and it is him that I must answer too. So my desisions, and care were with God Our Father in heart. I cannot say I was perfect,but I hope I give them what they need.
I have my secrets also . I would hope that they would respect my secrets too as I have for them.
God bless, pickles

 

[iraasuup]

It depends on your definition of 'children'.

If by 'children' you mean young people under the age of say 21 who live at home and are not married, then yeah the parents have a right to know what's going on in their lives, but at the same time they can't overstep the privacy boundary,

However, if by 'children' you mean over 21 and married.. then ABSOULTELY NOT!

Ok, now I wish MY PARENTS were reading this. Seriously, I am 27 been married 5 years, and my Mother still thinks she needs to know everything about my life.. and I mean EVERYTHING.

It's infuriating. I tried just not telling her the things she doesn't need to know, but, as Mother's do, she always had this way of finding out, then she would get angry at me for not telling her. Like I was keeping something from her. She doesn't understand the whole 'it's none of your business, I'm married now and make my own choices' concept.

*sigh*

Good luck.

 

[collective]

I finally got my parents to understand what was happening to me with sex abuse as a youngster, they were too bolivious to worry about me because I was a worry to them in a bad sense, im 35 yrs old now and am shocking them with the truth of everything that happened I think that they got it through to them and are owning it by feeling the anger of what happened to therir daughter, which is heal to me and can give them respect now, everyone who has been abused need to let their parents own it, holding nothing back, every devil under each rock, then its clear to them and clear to you of hows and whys things happened the way it did, let no secrets go down to the grave, I know that this dont apply to your post but Im telling secrets I kept at a young age to them now when now i am not intimidated by them, God wants us to be strong christian people and not fall under the fear of man, i hope you can tell secrets to your parents because you can trust the love that they have for you if it applies, and not wait till you are my age to tell them things, maybe they can guide you in a direction with what you have to tell them, Go with what your heart releases, its God cleasing you as you ...tell your faults one to another God bless

 

[pickles]

It depends on your definition of 'children'.

If by 'children' you mean young people under the age of say 21 who live at home and are not married, then yeah the parents have a right to know what's going on in their lives, but at the same time they can't overstep the privacy boundary,

However, if by 'children' you mean over 21 and married.. then ABSOULTELY NOT!

Ok, now I wish MY PARENTS were reading this. Seriously, I am 27 been married 5 years, and my Mother still thinks she needs to know everything about my life.. and I mean EVERYTHING.

It's infuriating. I tried just not telling her the things she doesn't need to know, but, as Mother's do, she always had this way of finding out, then she would get angry at me for not telling her. Like I was keeping something from her. She doesn't understand the whole 'it's none of your business, I'm married now and make my own choices' concept.

*sigh*
Im so sorry that it is this way for you. Some parents do not know how to let go. For many reasons, fear, lonlyness, controll. My hubbys parents often seemed like they lived their lives through us. Understanding dosnt excuse it though.
The one thing is to try and always show respect, not easy ,but important.
Next time your mom starts to hit you with all the questions try telling her that she dosnt have to worry, she did a good job raising you.
With my inlaws , never ending advice, really telling you what to do. I would nod and say that sounds good , ill consider it.
But if the case for you is mom just not letting you go, all you can do is find some ways to help her feel important, then just live your life .
Sometimes we just have to be blunt, and let them know how they make you feel.
And sometimes you just have to take some space away from them.
I hope this helped some, being a parent is no easyer than being the child. But trust in Our Lord God to show you how. He will make all things good.
God bless, pickles

 

[asamanthinketh]

NO, WOULD YOU WANT THEIR KNOWLEDGE OF EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU TO CHANGE THEIR LOVE OR FAITH FOR YOU. UNLESS YOUR PARENTS ARE HUMBLE AND STRONG YOU WOULD NOT WANT THEM TO KNOW EVERYTHING. IF YOU ARE HAVING A PROBLEM SEEK OUT TRUSTWORTHY COUNSEL

 

[greatkraw]

asa, all caps makes it harder to read

 

[Graybeard]

Yes!....because then you will be better equipped to deal and parent as one should...in a Godly way of course.
If your child has a sore that you are unaware of and he/she does not want you to know, that sore will fester and get worse which could eventually develop into something more serious. Having knowledge of the sore will you will be able to treat it especially in its early stage.

 

[loveschild]

Will it help them or hurt them.

 

[silverwind]

I don't want to know everything about my children. I trust that if they have a need to discuss something they will come to me or my husband and so far that has been working out great; but going through their diary to find out the deeper things of your child would be wrong. Every child deserves privacy. My family has acquired a routine of prayer time once/week and that in itself has helped them to open up about any concerns and prayer requests they have. I totally believe that they actually look forward to these times now because they have started sharing. You have to gain the trust of your children throughout their life.