Called to missions need advice

[atl3128]

Hello this will be my first post on here I came here to seek advice from some with experience with missions. Since the day I was saved 5 years ago I have felt this deep call to the mission field and honestly have ignored it because of one major issue. I was divorced several years prior to my conversion and have two boys with my ex wife ages 12 and 10 and a 5 year old with my current wife. For the last two years I have been in the position of "Outreach and Missions Director" at my church of nearly 1800 in weekly attendance. This position has been a volunteer position since I also worked in law enforcement for 12+ years. I recently felt called to step out on faith and quit my job to pursue what God has for me and the call to the mission field full time has grown louder and louder. I was recently offered a full time paid position in Haiti working with a ministry there that I have worked with for some time on a short term basis. I really want to go and take my wife and 5 year old son BUT my ex wife obviously will not allow my older boys to go with me they want to but she says no. They are ok with me going but I am having a real hard time leaving them behind I love them so much and the thought of leaving them is hard but the thought of not answering this call is just as difficult? My 10 year old told me " daddy its like you going to war except you will be in Jesus army and when I am old enough to decide I will come there".

I spoke with the pastor there and he said that I would get 2 full months back in the states for summer and 4 weeks for Christmas break plus they could fly down for school breaks throughout the year so I would get to see them a good bit.

Sorry for the long winded 1st post any advice would be greatly appreciated

 

[Dan58]

If your ex has custody of your 2 oldest, I reckon its her call. Can't blame her for not pulling her kids out of school and sending them to Haiti. The kids are your first responsibiilty. They may want to go, but do they really know the hardships of living in a poor country like Haiti? They are too young to make that call, I don't think I'd subject them to that environment. jmo

 

[jb]

Hello this will be my first post on here I came here to seek advice from some with experience with missions. Since the day I was saved 5 years ago I have felt this deep call to the mission field and honestly have ignored it because of one major issue. I was divorced several years prior to my conversion and have two boys with my ex wife ages 12 and 10 and a 5 year old with my current wife. For the last two years I have been in the position of "Outreach and Missions Director" at my church of nearly 1800 in weekly attendance. This position has been a volunteer position since I also worked in law enforcement for 12+ years. I recently felt called to step out on faith and quit my job to pursue what God has for me and the call to the mission field full time has grown louder and louder. I was recently offered a full time paid position in Haiti working with a ministry there that I have worked with for some time on a short term basis. I really want to go and take my wife and 5 year old son BUT my ex wife obviously will not allow my older boys to go with me they want to but she says no. They are ok with me going but I am having a real hard time leaving them behind I love them so much and the thought of leaving them is hard but the thought of not answering this call is just as difficult? My 10 year old told me " daddy its like you going to war except you will be in Jesus army and when I am old enough to decide I will come there".

I spoke with the pastor there and he said that I would get 2 full months back in the states for summer and 4 weeks for Christmas break plus they could fly down for school breaks throughout the year so I would get to see them a good bit.

Sorry for the long winded 1st post any advice would be greatly appreciated

This is God's wake up call to you that this is NOT from Him!

There are other circumstances that are NOT correct at this time (in my opinion anyway) that would make this a wrong move and that is trailing your current wife and 5 year old boy to Haiti as "life" there from what they are currently used to would be overwhelming!

Your responsibility NOW is to be a good husband and dad! Col 3v23,24

You can find a short study Here on seeking and receiving guidance from God.

Yahweh Shalom

 

[Joidevivre]

Your children are only children for a very short time and they all need a dad to be there for them. Maybe your call is just a "prepare for the future" sort of call. I look at children as our first mission field. You will never regret putting them first - it just seems like the right thing to do at this time. They all need as much of you as they can get. You seem like a dad who will influence their thinking in a good way. Teen years are not easy. And boys especially need a dad to be there for them. I don't think two months in the summer and four weeks at Christmas is being a dad. When God calls you for a specific work, there is usually a definite peace in your spirit without these conflicts you are feeling.

 

[atl3128]

Your children are only children for a very short time and they all need a dad to be there for them. Maybe your call is just a "prepare for the future" sort of call. I look at children as our first mission field. You will never regret putting them first - it just seems like the right thing to do at this time. They all need as much of you as they can get. You seem like a dad who will influence their thinking in a good way. Teen years are not easy. And boys especially need a dad to be there for them. I don't think two months in the summer and four weeks at Christmas is being a dad. When God calls you for a specific work, there is usually a definite peace in your spirit without these conflicts you are feeling.

Sorry for the late response to this and thanks for the input and thoughts. At this point I am still planning on moving and my boys are actually kind of excited about the whole idea and for the chance to come there themselves from time to time. Also I would be back for 8 weeks during the summer months and thanksgiving till after Christmas plus they will get to come down on breaks so I would never go more than 6-8 weeks at a time with out seeing them. One thing I have thought about is this if I were being deployed to a foreign land for military service for my county few would question it! What is the difference except that the mission field if far more important.

 

[sunnysky31]

Your children need you. Is there not mission work available near you? Leaving the children would be bad and in the end make them run from God because YOU ran from them to work for God? No.

 

[JesusLives]

I would continue to pray about it seeking the Lord in this move and if this is what God has in store for you nothing will get in the way. This gospel shall be preached to all nations and then the end will come. There are many missionaries that serve with children. Sorry that you have the two from previous marriage that I know will pull on your heart strings, but again if God is leading in this decision nothing will stand in the way and sounds like you will be able to see them frequently. I say go with God and thanks for doing mission work and spreading the gospel.

 

[levi85]

God has given you responsibility of being a dad to three childrens, kindly take steps to built them in the Lord. by staying close to their hearts, surely you and your family will shine for the Lord

 

[oldthennew]

1TIMOTHY 5:8.
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those
of his own house, he has denied the Faith,
and is worse than an infidel.

our Father in heaven doesn't desert His own children,
do you truly believe that He would have you desert your own?
I believe that Jesus gave them to you as one of the most important missions
that you will ever be blessed with.

EPHESIANS 6:4.
And you Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in
the training and admonition of the Lord.

perilous times are upon us, your children need you more now than ever,
to prepare them for what is coming down all around us.

 

[OnThisRock]

I have also been saved 5 years and felt the strong call to China for all those years. I would obsess about it and stumble across emails and teaching programs, and stare at pictures of the children and cry. I worked in Hawaii for close to two years which prepared me. Well guess where I am now? (as of one month ago). It all happened within the last few months and FAST. If God is putting it on your heart especially to go on the call now, heed HIS call. When I did not listen, things went totally awful until then I had no choice but to go. The peace waiting for me HERE was TOTALLY LIKE NOTHING I HAVE EVER FELT. I even came to this country ALONE!!! I do not even speak the language but because I took the leap, God had a University job lined up for me, a free apartment, and 100 students to teach (all my new 'kids'). I now have a whole new family here, which is my spiritual family.

I also do not doubt that we are suppose to leave when God says go and many will not understand and ask you to keep obligations that God may need you to let go of for a time. I was prepared ahead of time that the devil would attack as soon as I got to my new country. And sure enough, many people from the U.S. sent nasty emails, etc. I know I was doing something right because of the peace I felt and the bad email I got from the brother in law demanding things from me. All I could think of was to help the children here. GO when God says GO. The Lord led me to this scripture which helped me to see that all the doors were closing and I was getting the 'boot' out of America and that it was ok to join with my new spiritual family.


Matthew 12:48

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[TD]47Someone said to Him, "Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You." 48But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" 49And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers!…




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ps......I did have some doubts about this BIG move. So, I took a three week trip to do some University work, and GOD OPENED MY EYES TO MY TRUE CALLING and this place quickly felt like my HOME. America felt like a strange land. I had 8 weeks back in AMerica and it all confirmed the CALL. If you doubt, maybe take a small trip or talk to someone there. If it's and He opens doors, then it's GOD. This is of course all my EXPERIENCE of what happened to me. In all things check in with GOD...

 

[kaylagrl]

Sorry,I disagree with the majority here.If I may tell some of my own story...I felt called to the ministry as a very young girl.I thought I was called to the mission field.A few years later I began to sing with my family and I traveled for 20yrs in many places in Canada and the US.Now I was very young,16,when I started and there is no way I could have known what trails I would go though in those 20yrs.If I wrote it all down I don't know if anyone would believe me! So looking back on all we went through as a family I would say this,ministry is not easy and sometimes your "Christian" brothers and sisters will be your worst enemy.It can shake your faith,beware of that.Ministry is hard on the family so keep communication open at all times and talk often.Often in ministry you dont see the rewards or the victory and it can be discouraging.Sometimes it's years later before you get a conformation that your work was worthwhile.Lastly be careful who you allow close to your family and who you ask advice from.Have one trusted person,dont ask advice of ten different people because you'll get ten different "will of God's" all thinking they are helping you.Have one person you trust to pray you through who will not judge you.
As far as your boys,if you truly feel called,you know it deep down then God will work out that situation.Be open with them,let them talk freely about how they feel.But remember God loves the minister {and his family}more than the ministry.So I really my last piece of advice instead is this...be sure you are in the will of God.If you begin this journey and it is too much for your family just be sure God is still calling you to continue.Many can't walk away from the ministry when God is calling them elsewhere.If God can use a donkey he can find someone to replace us when it's our time to move on.Hope something helped you in your decision.Blessings on you and your family.

 

[Jeshuvan]

Hi GBU I have been 2 Haiti.Always pray and follow Gods will 4 your life.In Matthew 6:33 it says seek first Gods Kingdom and his righteousness and all this will be added unto you.God has 2 be first.My pastor is from India,he has for the past 35 yrs been away from his family 4 periods of time and his kids grew up serving the Lord very faithfully.So plus u stated that your kids will visit u,and they seem excited also. One directed u 2 go stating he would join u in the future.As I stated in the beginning seek Gods perfect will,only then will u have complete joy and peace in your life.I will pray 4 u now and hope 2 meet u in the rooms.Jeshuvan

 

[Jeshuvan]

By the way I am a missionary also,its a life changing experience.

 

[atl3128]

Thanks for all of the advice and insight I really appreciate everyones opinion on the matter. I spoke with the pastor in Haiti and he said that my housing and food would be taken care of for me and my wife and my youngest son and confirmed that my oldest boys would be able to come down often and I would be able to come back to the states as i stated above. He also informed me that I would have the ability to Skype them daily if need be. I would not be abandoning them and would be paying nearly $1000 per month in child support to take care of them. My wife and I are going down with my youngest son this november 6th to stay for a while to see how things go hopefully I will gain the peace and clarity that I need and the worst case is it doesnt work out I can always come back right

[h=1]Mark 10:29-30[/h]29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life

 

[levi85]

God bless in your every decision, Amen

 

[atl3128]

God bless in your every decision, Amen

Thank you very much!

 

[OzDavo34]

You will know if it is right. God will let you know
personally I think it is a very important time in your older children's life's & they will need a consistent father around to teach them Christian values, if God wills it another opportunity will come up when the kids are grown.

But ultimately it is a decision between you the Lord & your family

God bless

Amen

 

[OnThisRock]

Thanks for all of the advice and insight I really appreciate everyones opinion on the matter. I spoke with the pastor in Haiti and he said that my housing and food would be taken care of for me and my wife and my youngest son and confirmed that my oldest boys would be able to come down often and I would be able to come back to the states as i stated above. He also informed me that I would have the ability to Skype them daily if need be. I would not be abandoning them and would be paying nearly $1000 per month in child support to take care of them. My wife and I are going down with my youngest son this november 6th to stay for a while to see how things go hopefully I will gain the peace and clarity that I need and the worst case is it doesnt work out I can always come back right

Mark 10:29-30

29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life

Sounds like God is taking care of it all. This is wonderful news! I also love this scripture! Thanks for sharing!

 

[Agricola]

A lot of responses appear to be influenced by our concept of family and what our "family values" should be, even to the point of using that concept to declare that it is obvious it is not from God, when its just a conclusion obtained from personal experience and value.

First of all have you asked other people to pray about the situation and to ask God for guidance and advice? Keep asking God for clarity and conformation, God will not mind, even if he is dropping the answer like a ton of bricks on you.

Leaving children behind is difficult, but if they are staying with mother, its not all bad is it? Yes you will miss them, they will miss you, but there is this thing called Internet and Webcams, it is not as if you wont get to see them, which is more than many fathers have had in years gone by.

Husband going of for months to work or serve God is not a new thing, millions have done it. It is sacrifice that fathers have to make. My Great Grand Uncle lived for some time in INdia most of the year, he eventually uprooted his family and moved them over. It is not uncommon for men to live for months at a time apart from family. You have 2 months leave, which is generous.

Ask God again though.

 

[Agricola]

Serves me right for not reading the thread and only reading first post.