Dealing with mean people at work

[Brennen]

After extensive searching, I could not find an existing thread related to this issue which I am having trouble with, so at the risk of this starting out like my second started thread did... here we go

I'm what some would call a gentle giant type guy. As a former college football player standing 6'3" and 250 lbs, as weird or humorous as it may seem, I really dislike conflict. I'm not a passive man by any means, I'll fight at the drop of a hat to defend people I love and what I believe in, but I tend to shrug off the little stuff. This isn't taken well by some people and seen as a sign of weakness I suppose.

I'm having some problems with guys at work. I work, for lack of a simple term, in high voltage construction. I'm on the road constantly with the same 8-10 guys. All of them being big, tough, stuck in their ways, head strong guys significantly older than me. Not many of them are believers either. They for the most part are good guys, I'm learning a lot from them and can do my job very well and safe because of their mentorship (not sure if thats a word), but there is this overwhelming vulgarity that plagues the environment I work in. Also, because I try to follow Christ, and show my love for Him and others, and stick up for what I believe when the topic of religion comes up. They see this as weakness on my part. They don't necessarily pick on me, but they do things to try to spur a reaction from me, they try to get on my nerves I guess.

My question is how do I deal with these things? From the repetitive stuff they do to get on my nerves, to speaking up on God's behalf in front of non- believers, to having to co-habitate with them on a daily basis in a vulgar, less than godly environment,and still be in line with God's will. How can I handle these situations in a way that glorifies God? Can I do that without being "ran over" by them because I'm showing love, or compassion, or not reacting the way they're trying to get me to? Is there a way to do as God asks of me, to be light in a dark world and to be the salt of the earth, and still maintain a level of respect or dignity with my coworkers?

Any advice, experience, or scripture dealing with this would be welcome.

In love and frustration,
Brennen

 

[levi85]

Be normal, at a your work, and keeping praying and meditating the word of God, may be this is your spiritual warfare going on, at work, if you win , you will be able to bring these guys to the feet of Jesus.
so stay strong in faith, and be loving caring, smile with them, and participate with them as a good friends.

God bless!
melchis

 

[biscuit]

After extensive searching, I could not find an existing thread related to this issue which I am having trouble with, so at the risk of this starting out like my second started thread did... here we go

I'm what some would call a gentle giant type guy. As a former college football player standing 6'3" and 250 lbs, as weird or humorous as it may seem, I really dislike conflict. I'm not a passive man by any means, I'll fight at the drop of a hat to defend people I love and what I believe in, but I tend to shrug off the little stuff. This isn't taken well by some people and seen as a sign of weakness I suppose.

I'm having some problems with guys at work. I work, for lack of a simple term, in high voltage construction. I'm on the road constantly with the same 8-10 guys. All of them being big, tough, stuck in their ways, head strong guys significantly older than me. Not many of them are believers either. They for the most part are good guys, I'm learning a lot from them and can do my job very well and safe because of their mentorship (not sure if thats a word), but there is this overwhelming vulgarity that plagues the environment I work in. Also, because I try to follow Christ, and show my love for Him and others, and stick up for what I believe when the topic of religion comes up. They see this as weakness on my part. They don't necessarily pick on me, but they do things to try to spur a reaction from me, they try to get on my nerves I guess.

My question is how do I deal with these things? From the repetitive stuff they do to get on my nerves, to speaking up on God's behalf in front of non- believers, to having to co-habitate with them on a daily basis in a vulgar, less than godly environment,and still be in line with God's will. How can I handle these situations in a way that glorifies God? Can I do that without being "ran over" by them because I'm showing love, or compassion, or not reacting the way they're trying to get me to? Is there a way to do as God asks of me, to be light in a dark world and to be the salt of the earth, and still maintain a level of respect or dignity with my coworkers?

Any advice, experience, or scripture dealing with this would be welcome.

In love and frustration,
Brennen

Just be yourself and lead by example

 

[Ecclesiastik]

What would Jesus do? Throw practicality out of the window when you ask yourself that question. A lot of people don't end up following Christ's example because they think it's not practical or unrealistic.

 

[NewWine]

My best advice is to kill them with kindness. If you bring something for lunch you know they like, bring extra to share (if you're able to do so). Invite them over for dinner. Stick-up for them if another tries to hurt them. Walk with them, talk with them. You say they are basically good guys, so doing this won't always be difficult.
The Bible says in 2Timothy 1 that God's spirit doesn't make us weak. It gives us power, self control and love to offer others. By going out of your way to show these people kindness, you will be in essence showing them God's love.
Keeping yourself close to God will make you both a threat and inviting to others. Many will fear you or become jealous of your love and patience, but don't fret. The Bible also tells us in Matthew that God will bless you when others insult you, try to goad you into anger, beat you and tell lies about you because of Him. Others will be drawn to your patience and understanding, especially as you become the one to train the new generation of workers. They will want to be part of your team, because they will know you will always put the needs of others before your own.
Keep putting Christ first, others second and yourself last, and you will either win them over, or they will get bored with you and move on. Just my thoughts.
Peace!

 

[Jorina]

After extensive searching, I could not find an existing thread related to this issue which I am having trouble with, so at the risk of this starting out like my second started thread did... here we go

I'm what some would call a gentle giant type guy. As a former college football player standing 6'3" and 250 lbs, as weird or humorous as it may seem, I really dislike conflict. I'm not a passive man by any means, I'll fight at the drop of a hat to defend people I love and what I believe in, but I tend to shrug off the little stuff. This isn't taken well by some people and seen as a sign of weakness I suppose.

I'm having some problems with guys at work. I work, for lack of a simple term, in high voltage construction. I'm on the road constantly with the same 8-10 guys. All of them being big, tough, stuck in their ways, head strong guys significantly older than me. Not many of them are believers either. They for the most part are good guys, I'm learning a lot from them and can do my job very well and safe because of their mentorship (not sure if thats a word), but there is this overwhelming vulgarity that plagues the environment I work in. Also, because I try to follow Christ, and show my love for Him and others, and stick up for what I believe when the topic of religion comes up. They see this as weakness on my part. They don't necessarily pick on me, but they do things to try to spur a reaction from me, they try to get on my nerves I guess.

My question is how do I deal with these things? From the repetitive stuff they do to get on my nerves, to speaking up on God's behalf in front of non- believers, to having to co-habitate with them on a daily basis in a vulgar, less than godly environment,and still be in line with God's will. How can I handle these situations in a way that glorifies God? Can I do that without being "ran over" by them because I'm showing love, or compassion, or not reacting the way they're trying to get me to? Is there a way to do as God asks of me, to be light in a dark world and to be the salt of the earth, and still maintain a level of respect or dignity with my coworkers?

Any advice, experience, or scripture dealing with this would be welcome.

In love and frustration,
Brennen

Sorry to hear youre in a difficult position there Brennen. If i might try to give you some helpful advice i'd really ask you to keep doing what you are doing. Is it possible that they are trying to get you to react like they want to (meaning that you react in a way that wouldnt please the Lord) because if that would happen they could easily throw away the whole 'believing in the Lord-thing' they see in your life? Maybe they are testing you to see if what you are talking about and what you show in how you act is actually worth something. Are you really believing in your Lord as much as you say? Gives your Lord you enough strength to endure there behaviour towards you? Will you keep kind and friendly towards them eventhough they dont treat you nicely?

Even if this is not what they are trying to test with their behaviour, it might be the purpose of the devil to test you, to see if he can cat you to turn from the Lord and to turn to the devil himself. Or it might be the Lord who puts you trough this in order to glorify His Name of to shape you so you'll look more and more like Him.

I would really ask you to keep going on the Lords path. Keep being nicely. Stay strong in what you belief and let your fear or discomfort never get in the way of obeying and praising our Heavenly Father and our Saviour Jesus Christ. He had to keep going in silence when they where rude, when they hurt Him and when they made Him look like a weak person. He had them nail Him to a cross, instead of saying or doing what they wanted to hear. Take Him as your example in situations like this, cause He's been there and showed us how to react to violence from all around. He knew what was coming and He was very afraid, but this was His solution: He prayed to the Lord, His Father and the Lord gave Him strenght.

The Lord didnt take the sufferings or the hatred or the violence away. But He gave strength to get through it and the promise that the Lord will bless those who endure hard times for His name's sake. Bless them with great blessings.

So pray, get renewed in strength and faith, be confident that the Lord is with you, that He hears you and sees you. Know that He is always with you. Take Him as your perfect example and show kindness when they expect hatred, keep silence when the expect you to defend yourself and let the Lord give love in your heart for these men. Ask the Lord for opportunities to help these men, to show them that you are someone they can depend on, who does his work well and who wont look at them with anything but kindness, love and a heart eager to help.

Its not going to be easy. I will pray for you and these men. I promise. Ask other people, friends, family etc to pray as well. Never underestimate the power of prayer. And never underestimate the things we can endure with the strenght God gives us.

May the Lord bless you and keep you Brennen.

 

[Dan58]

Try to fit in and be normal. If your the odd man out (square), you'll inevitably be someone to joke about. If you weren't a large man, they'd probably bust your balls a lot more than they already do. Its not uncommon for work crews (guys) to use a lot of vulgarity, but no one likes to be preached at, so don't throw your pearls before swine; "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you" (Matthew 7;6).

I wouldn't argue religion or try to persuade non-believers. Nothing wrong with telling them your a Christian and not engaging in vulgar language, but I wouldn't try to "glorify God" amongst people who could care-less. They probably aren't comfortable with a straight-laced guy, so they make a little fun of it. I'd just recommend developing a sense of humor about it and joke back with them. Your situation is common, but don't make yourself into someone who's uncomfortable to be around by having negative reactions to what is normal behavior for them.

Remember that the fun part for them is spurring you on, because they know they can get on your nerves and get a reaction. Develop your own sarcastic sense of humor in response, don't take yourself too seriously or be afraid to joke about yourself. Jesus ate with sinners, he didn't get offended by them. But he only preached to those who came to hear, he didn't force himself on those who had no interest. jmo

 

[jogoldie]

Brennen...I'm sorry this is how it is.....I worked in a warehouse driving forklifts.....100 men and little
5'3 mom.......it was dffernt for me ...at least they tried to control their selves...but the everyday little
comments that annoy I remember.....after starting to feel the way you do....I told this guy in front of the crew.....that it was funny everyday you tell it....I humiliated one guy in front of the others....
and I explained to him...while the group looked on....I'm a single mom....I am the head of our
household ...if it offends you that I'm here....its something he has to get over....cause no one
or nothing was gonna stop me from taken care of my children.....the entire group said.....
Yeah...Jim...leave her alone....and from that point on they all were my team....they even looked out
for me......maybe if you call one out and state your case the others will get the point.........
Peace .....jo

 

[RedTent]

When I worked under those conditions, I found that they were constantly testing the Lord through me. They kept at me for how I related to the homosexual man in our group. What did I do when I ate cookies with marijuana in them without knowing it? How did I react to the judging of others in our office, was I judgmental? I don't think they were so much interested in me and my reactions as wondering how it would be to reflect God in life.

 

[santuzza]

The reason they poke fun at you is that your godly life convicts them of their sin. The only way they can deal with it is to try to bring you down to their level. Don't do it. Continue to be the godly man that you are. Try to be as friendly as possible without engaging in their sinful activity. It's a tightrope, but you can do it.

I've been in these situations as well (although, admittedly, not as extreme), and I discovered later that my co-workers really admired me and somehow knew I was a "spiritual" person. To God alone be the glory!

So don't rub the Cross in their face, but don't compromise either.

 

[RedTent]

The reason they poke fun at you is that your godly life convicts them of their sin. The only way they can deal with it is to try to bring you down to their level. Don't do it. Continue to be the godly man that you are. Try to be as friendly as possible without engaging in their sinful activity. It's a tightrope, but you can do it.

I've been in these situations as well (although, admittedly, not as extreme), and I discovered later that my co-workers really admired me and somehow knew I was a "spiritual" person. To God alone be the glory!

So don't rub the Cross in their face, but don't compromise either.

That is what I found. We had a minister's wife who worked with us for over a year, one who blended well and made many compromises especially having to do with gossip. Even though I was very careful not to evangelize in any way but only live my walk and respond if asked about something of God, my walk with my Lord was recognized. I later found out that she was laughed at and not respected and I was. I was also given opportunities to teach the Lord's ways. For instance, our orthodox Jewish girl asked me to explain Christianity.

 

[JamesMcClay]

Love your enemies. DO GOOD to those who despitefully use you. And PRAY for them and for yourself in how to deal with them. REMEMBER -- God put them there for His purposes --learn to ASK GOD about everything!

 

[Bazman]

I feel for you brother. I have struggles at work too with colleagues. Will be praying for you. To God be the victory.

 

[crossnote]

I see your 21, so your experience base is at a disadvantage nevertheless pray for them at the beginning of each day. As others have said 'be yourself' take advantages of open doors but don't create a door by busting one down. Daily be built up in the word as it will give you a greater picture of who you are and a care for them especially in their lostness.
I was in trucking/dock for about 35 years and it worked for me

ps, I've always thought there needs to be more of these work related discussions on this forum...it's a major part of the day.