praying to save my relationship!

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heartfelt16

Guest
#1
#1
My fiancé &i have been engaged for about a year now, we have lived together for almost 2. He is divorced and has a 5 year old son that I love so much, he's marriage ended badly about 4 years ago. He committed adultery, &was only married through a civil marriage, we recently became Christians &as he started getting closer to God and reading the Bible we came across how God hates divorce, he's ex wife is currently engaged as well, the point is that he is now confused that if we married he's doing adultery again, &thinks god won't bless our Christian marriage. He doesn't know if he will stay with me the one he loves or try and fix he's old family because it's they only way he will be saved! Please give me some advice
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#2
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#2
First of all, stop living together. You two are in sin right now, and that has to stop immediately. Adultery, fornication, whatever you want to call it, it's sin.

Once you two stop your sexual sin, you can figure everything else out with the guidance of a godly pastor or Christian counselor.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
If his ex-wife is engaged and their divorce is final, then there's nothing more he can do. He should move forward in his life, not go backwards. Especially if his ex-wife is not a Christian. The bible also says if you are married to a non-believer and the non-believer wants to end your marriage, let them. Obviously his ex doesn't want to be with him. And, biblically if his wife divorced him for adultery, she had the biblical right to divorce him anyways.
Also since, i'm guessing, all of this took place before he became a Christian so i don't think those decisions and actions are held against him as a Christian now.

But, as santuzza said, the first steps you two need to make, if you want this to be a Godly relationship is to stop living together and if you're having sexual things going on then those need to stop too. No point in worrying about his past, before he was a Christian, if he's actively engaging in sin currently. His focus is in the wrong place.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#4
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#4
heartfelt16 said:
My fiancé &i have been engaged for about a year now, we have lived together for almost 2. He is divorced and has a 5 year old son that I love so much, he's marriage ended badly about 4 years ago. He committed adultery, &was only married through a civil marriage, we recently became Christians &as he started getting closer to God and reading the Bible we came across how God hates divorce, he's ex wife is currently engaged as well, the point is that he is now confused that if we married he's doing adultery again, &thinks god won't bless our Christian marriage. He doesn't know if he will stay with me the one he loves or try and fix he's old family because it's they only way he will be saved! Please give me some advice
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Now the bible says a lot of things about divorce. God understands the human condition very well. First off, the only way your man can be saved is to confess his sins to Jesus with a contrite heart, repent of his past lifestyle and invite Him into his heart. God wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. The problem in remarrying is not God but rather his conscience. What God has joined together let no one put asunder. Based on his past actions he did not have love in his heart that was given to him by God to give to his wife at the time.

It is highly unlikely that the two of them were joined together in the eyes of God in the first place. Your husband is not going to lose is salvation once accepts the sacrifice of the shed blood of Jesus and then marries you. The bible also says that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. You and your man should pray for clarity of thought as to what the right thing is to do. If I were him I know what I would do. It sounds like he has started a journey in his walk with the Lord. It would be a real shame if he were to do this walk alone.
 
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psychomom

Guest
#5
#5
heartfelt16 said:
My fiancé &i have been engaged for about a year now, we have lived together for almost 2. He is divorced and has a 5 year old son that I love so much, he's marriage ended badly about 4 years ago. He committed adultery, &was only married through a civil marriage, we recently became Christians &as he started getting closer to God and reading the Bible we came across how God hates divorce, he's ex wife is currently engaged as well, the point is that he is now confused that if we married he's doing adultery again, &thinks god won't bless our Christian marriage. He doesn't know if he will stay with me the one he loves or try and fix he's old family because it's they only way he will be saved! Please give me some advice
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oh, sweetie! the only way to be saved is by believing the Gospel--
that Jesus paid the just penalty for our sins on the cross
and God freely grants us pardon on that basis alone.

oh, and did i mention all our sins are forgiven?
even divorce.
 
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