The fact that people actually go through with it boggles my mind. Sometimes from a human perspective I feel like what's the use in going through this everyday. But from a spiritual perspective it is my duty to Him and myself to endure until the end. I don't have the luxury to end it all. That's for Him to decide.
Speaking as one who has been diagnosed with clinical depression -- and who has dealt with it for a quarter of a century -- I assure you that it isn't as simple as making a decision not to take your own life.
A person who is suicidal has as much power over his or her own thoughts as you would have the power to knit back together a broken leg just by staring at it. Depression is a chemical reaction. Sometimes it is brought on by specific incidents (ranging from death of a loved one or extreme stress, like war), and sometimes it is internally triggered rather than externally triggered. We have all had cases of "the blues" - sadness, usually appropriate to the situation. Disappointments and frustrations are a natural part of life, and we learn to deal with it and move on. But sometimes the body just doesn't "bounce back." The coping mechanisms we all have just stop working, the same way a diabetic person just stops producing insulin properly. Regardless of the cause of the depression (whether it's brought on by real problems or a chemical imbalance), some people need help in getting out of that black hole.
Suicide is the result of an untreated disease called depression. Depression is a real (not imagined) medical condition, one with very real symptoms, and various different possible courses of treatments, some of which work differently in different people (just like different people react differently to different cancer treatments, or HIV medicine or any other of a number of diseases that aren't always easy to cure with a bottle of "take two and call me in the morning"). The problem is, our society stigmatizes depression and other mental disorders, as if someone who suffers from them is somehow just not as strong as someone else. Would you ever tell someone who got chicken pox, "Oh, you just weren't strong enough to keep from getting that virus...?" With a few exceptions to certain cults who believe that all medical treatments are evil, I don't know anyone who would advise someone against going to the doctor for an appendicitis, or gall stones, or other physical ailment. Why is it that when the psyche is the injured organ, it's somehow not okay to seek medical counsel?
I don't mean to say ALL Americans, or even all Christians, are like this. I know a lot of wonderful Christian communities that are working to help those with mental disorders such as depression, bi-polar disorder, psychosis, and all sorts of problems. I know many Christians are accepting of the people who suffer from these diseases, and don't stigmatize us. The sad thing is, I know a lot who do.
My hope in writing this is to educate. If anyone out there didn't realize that depression and similar diseases was real, I hope you recognize now that it is, and that it's not just a matter of "snapping out of it."
Thanks.