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Thread: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

  1. #1
    Senior Member Drett's Avatar
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    Default Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    The latest PR coup for Pope Francis has seen him hire famous and revered children’s author JK Rowling to rewrite the Bible.

    It is hoped the author, most famous for her Harry Potter series, can make it more accessible and believable for a new generation of Catholics and Christians.

    Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible | Waterford Whispers News

    It is interesting because the pope condemned the Harry Potter books back in 2007 though I think it was the old pope.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tintin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    I think it's poorly-written satire. No need to be alarmed.
    Angela53510, Ugly and Misty77 like this.
    "If we truly want to bring the good news to the world, to walk with the Word made flesh in us, to be a light, a city on a hilltop, then we can do it so much better, together, fighting with the sword of the Spirit and with prayerful battle cries to bring heaven here."

    Arlene89

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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Yep. Try looking at the rest of the site. Its a satire site.
    Angela53510 likes this.
    "I really loved being with her. I never got tired of it" - my dad talking about my mom 17 years after her death


    We know His path is narrow, to follow Him requires more than bumper stickers and apparel. They will know us by our love, not by our celebrities.


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    Senior Member Tintin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    You don't even have to do that. It's the writing style (or lack there of) and the blatant silliness therein.
    Angela53510 likes this.
    "If we truly want to bring the good news to the world, to walk with the Word made flesh in us, to be a light, a city on a hilltop, then we can do it so much better, together, fighting with the sword of the Spirit and with prayerful battle cries to bring heaven here."

    Arlene89

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    Senior Member acesneverwin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Yeah it's especially obvious when they say dementors and stuff will replace less believable stuff like Unicorns and Leviathans. And the main reason is the pope wants to up the sales of the Jesus action figures which have dropped? It's not even subtle or cleaver... much less funny.
    Tintin likes this.

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    Senior Member Tintin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Quote Originally Posted by acesneverwin View Post
    Yeah it's especially obvious when they say dementors and stuff will replace less believable stuff like Unicorns and Leviathans. And the main reason is the pope wants to up the sales of the Jesus action figures which have dropped? It's not even subtle or cleaver... much less funny.
    Absolutely. It's a very, very poor attempt at humour and fails on all levels.
    Angela53510 likes this.
    "If we truly want to bring the good news to the world, to walk with the Word made flesh in us, to be a light, a city on a hilltop, then we can do it so much better, together, fighting with the sword of the Spirit and with prayerful battle cries to bring heaven here."

    Arlene89

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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    It may what Martin Malachi a Vatican insider said is true.

    eb. 18, 2012Catholic scholar Dr. Malachi Martin, formerly a Jesuit professorat Georgetown University and a confidant of Vatican insiders, flatly declared in a New York City interview: “Yes, it’s true. Lucifer is enthroned in the Catholic Church.
    Martin was also interviewed by The Fatima Crusader, a well-known Catholic publication. He again repeated his allegations, and expressed his dismay and distress that the Catholic institution of which he is a part has grown so decadent and morally reprobate since the Vatican II conference of the 60s. The contention that there are Satanists in Rome is “completely correct” said Martin, adding:
    Anybody who is acquainted with the state of affairs in the Vatican in the last 35 years is well aware that the prince of darkness has and still has his surrogates in the court of St. Peter in Rome.
    Satan worship is now rampant within the Catholic Church. High-ranking churchmen are accused of heinous crime against God. The smoke of Satan has entered the very sanctuary of St. Peter’s Cathedral in the Vatican. Mind-boggling though it may be, priests and bishops alike are known to have taken contract oaths to serve the devil, signed in their own blood!
    Revelation 13:4 - So they worshiped the dragon who gave authority to the beast

    These revelations about devil worship inside the Vatican and its subsidiaries have come not from hostile Protestant critics of Roman Catholicism, but from top-ranking Catholic prelates themselves. Evidently, this awful malignancy is so far advanced that Satanism has reached the papacy itself and has seriously affected the rank and file of nuns and priests in the U.S.A. and throughout the globe. Satan worshipers are now masquerading as Catholic clergy while secretly paying homage to Lucifer.
    In 1972 Pope Paul VI surveyed the wreckage to the Church after the Second Vatican Council and was widely reported to have said, “From somewhere or other, the smoke of Satan has entered the temple of God.” Archbishop, Emmanuel Milingo added, “I have not heard that anyone has seen him leave. We must pray that he will go away.
    In 1976, Pope Paul VI shocked a papal audience by confiding that, “The smoke of Satan has entered the very sanctuary of St. Peter’s Cathedral.” The Pontiff went on to explain that he had knowledge of a midnight hour, Black Satanic Mass having been conducted at the altar of St. Peter’s, on the exact spot where the Pope himself regularly says mass.
    With thousands in attendance at Rome’s Fatima 2000 International Congress on World Peace, a respected Archbishop, Emmanuel Milingo, strode to the podium. The crowd gasped as they heard Milingo solemnly affirm that members of the Catholic Church hierarchy are secretly involved in the darkest kinds of formal Satan worship.
    The devil in the Catholic Church is so protected now that he is like an animal protected by the government; put on a game preserve that outlaws anyone, especially hunters, from trying to capture or kill it. The devil within the Church today is actually protected by certain Church authorities from the official devil-hunter in the Church — the exorcist. So much so that the exorcist today is forbidden to attack the devil. The devil is so protected that the one who is the hunter, the exorcist, is forbidden to do hisjob.
    Satan worship apparently has mushroomed in recent years as Catholic cardinals, bishops, and priests have joined the Masonic Lodge in record numbers. Until the papacy of Pope John Paul II, membership by Catholics in any kind of Masonic order was an excommunicable offense. Now, however, it is commonplace.
    In 1980, New York’s Terrance Cooke, one of America’s most powerful Catholic cardinals, addressed a gathering of 3,000 Masons. Cardinal Cooke electrified the assemblage when he said that, as friends, Masons and Catholics should recognize each other.
    Refraining from mentioning the name of Jesus–the name despised by many Masons and prohibited inside their lodges–Cardinal Cooke bowed to Masonry’s worst heresy by remarking, “I know of your firm belief in the Supreme Being, the Great Architect of the Universe, and of the holy writings appropriate to the religion of your members, and I salute you for your loyalty to these ancient values.
    Cardinal Cooke’s words were well chosen and imbued with hidden meaning. The Masonic Lodge’s “Supreme Architect of the Universe” is none other than Lucifer, who cloaks himself in Masonic literature with the names of such deities as Zoroaster, Shiva, Abaddon, and in other Masonic pagan-god disguises. As for the “holy writings” of Freemasonry, these have their origins in the Roman mystery religions, in 19th century occultism, and in Egyptianism/Babylonianism. Such are the “ancient values” of the satanic Masonic Lodge.
    These revelations of devil worship inside churches which claim to be “Christian” should not surprise us. The power of Bible prophecy is thereby made manifest. The books of Daniel and Revelation describe the Antichrist as a man who appears as a lamb but has horns. He ordains (appoints) amongst his flock men and women who are unrepentant murderers, liars, fornicators, pedophiles and adulterers. Daniel says that the devil’s Antichrist shall speak “dark sentences” and shall worship a god his fathers knew not.
    We now understand why Satan worship is so fervently and irreverently practiced in the very seat of Rome, inside the profane temple the popes built – the temple known as St. Peter’s Cathedral, which has the Egyptian sun god obelisk on display in its front courtyard. “Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast; for it is the number of a man, and his number is six hundred, three score and six (666) ~ Revelation 13:18. The Pope, his Vatican, and its hierarchy are preparing the way for the corrupt Beast.
    Today, Feb. 18 (3×6), 2012, Nazi German Pope Benedict ordained (appointed) 22 new cardinals at the Vatican. These new cardinals (unrepentant murderers, liars, fornicators, pedophiles and adulterers) will play a role in selecting who will be appointed as the next pontiff. And if Saint Malachy’s predictions are correct, the last Pope – Peter the Roman.
    Saint Malachy was a 12th century Irish monk, who, while on a visit to Rome had a vision of all the popes who would ever reign. Malachy “saw”-and committed to paper- a series of Latin phrases describing the popes to come. He catalogued each one with an epigrammatic verse, such as ‘the tears of the sun’. Malachy made the prophecy in 1139. Reportedly it was entrusted to Pope Innocent II in 1140. But for some reason it was “lost” in the Vatican for 400 years, only to be “discovered” in 1595 A.D. Malachy s predictions reputedly were made in 1139 while he was on a pilgrimage to the Vatican, where he was appointed papal legate for Ireland. On his last trek to the holy see in Rome, in 1148, Malachy accurately predicted the place and time of his own death: Clairvaux, France, on All Souls Day, November 2, of that same year.
    Malachy’s final words: “In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Peter the Roman, who will feed his flock among many tribulations; after which the seven-hilled city (Rome, the seat of the Vatican) will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people.”
    Today, Feb. 18 (666), 2012 the leader of the Reich – Holy Roman Empire, Ratzinger appointed 22 new members of his flock to “the most exclusive club in the Catholic Church”. 22 unrepentant murderers, liars, fornicators, pedophiles and adulterers (either suspected or alleged makes no difference to their victims) also become, at least informally, a candidate to be the next pope, because the next pope will almost certainly come from the roughly 120 cardinals under the age of 80.
    The new cardinals each professed their faith and swore an oath of obedience to the Vicar of Christ (the Papal claims the title ofVICAR OF CHRIST which in Latin is VICARIUS CHRISTI, means a SUBSTITUTE FOR CHRIST, which is synonymous withAntichrist) and his successors during Saturday’s ceremony, called the Consistory, at the Vatican. Matthew 24:5 “For many will come in my name, saying, I am Christ, and will mislead many.”
    One by one, the 22 appointed cardinals walk to the pontiff and kneel in front of him to receive the traditional red hat, or “biretta,” and gold ring – “The new cardinals are entrusted with the service of love: love for God, love for his Church, an absolute and unconditional love for his brothers and sisters, even unto shedding their blood, if necessary, as expressed in the words of placing the biretta and as indicated by the color of their robes,” says the Antichrist Pope Benedict XVI
    http://presscore.ca/2011/?p=5562

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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Anther detail :

    henrymakow.com - Exposing Feminism and The New World Order/malachi_martin_--.html
    These allegations have largely gone unnoticed, possibly because Martin was so crafty in his descriptions that he might even have been referring to the coronation of Pope Paul VI. But he revealed much more about this alleged ritual in one of his last works, Windswept House: A Vatican Novel (1996).
    In this story, he vividly described a ceremony called "The Enthronement of the Fallen Archangel Lucifer" held in St. Paul's Chapel in the Vatican, and linked with concurrent satanic rites here in the U.S., on June 29, 1963, barely a week after the election of Paul VI.

    In the novel, before he dies, a pope leaves a secret account of the situation on his desk for the next occupant of the throne of Peter, a thinly disguised John Paul II.
    - See more at: Malachi Martin -- Satan Enthroned in Vatican? - henrymakow.com

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    Senior Member Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    even satire threads bring them...is there no end to the conspiracies around here?
    Angela53510 likes this.

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    Senior Member Drett's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Quote Originally Posted by Tintin View Post
    I think it's poorly-written satire. No need to be alarmed.
    Sorry I will be more careful next time.
    Angela53510 likes this.

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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Quote Originally Posted by Nautilus View Post
    even satire threads bring them...is there no end to the conspiracies around here?
    Maybe it's all a conspiracy to spread conspiracies?
    Angela53510 likes this.
    What - you didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?


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    Senior Member dcontroversal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Instead of heaven it would be Hogwarts and instead of hell it would be a liquid deprived place with slightly higher than normal temperatures!

    What a farce!

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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Quote Originally Posted by Drett View Post
    The latest PR coup for Pope Francis has seen him hire famous and revered children’s author JK Rowling to rewrite the Bible.

    It is hoped the author, most famous for her Harry Potter series, can make it more accessible and believable for a new generation of Catholics and Christians.

    Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible | Waterford Whispers News

    It is interesting because the pope condemned the Harry Potter books back in 2007 though I think it was the old pope.
    If you read the disclaimer of Waterford Whisper news,they admit everything they post is a parody or satrical even with fake names usually made up. False positive Folks
    Angela53510 likes this.

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    Default Re: Church Hires JK Rowling To Rewrite The Bible

    Well, J K Rowling herself would not remotely claim to be an Erasmus or a Tyndale.

    Interestingly, she was influenced in her writings by C S Lewis's 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe', which has long been regarded as a Christian allegory.

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