‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

[David_1]

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

ISLA VISTA, CA—In the days following a violent rampage in southern California in which a lone attacker killed seven individuals, including himself, and seriously injured over a dozen others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Tuesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said North Carolina resident Samuel Wipper, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to keep this guy from snapping and killing a lot of people if that’s what he really wanted.” At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past five years were referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.”

 

[JustinUK]

Only God can prevent it, just like only God can prevent you from getting hit by a car, by a plane, by a bomb, by a meteor, etc... Just have faith that he is there protecting you and keep living life to the fullest

 

[biscuit]

Only God can prevent it, just like only God can prevent you from getting hit by a car, by a plane, by a bomb, by a meteor, etc... Just have faith that he is there protecting you and keep living life to the fullest

Excellent Post

 

[JimJimmers]

It's funny, in my country almost three times as many people are killed by alcohol every year than by guns. But Liberals tend to get extremely touchy when you mention alcohol prohibition. Interesting, because no one needs alcohol.

 

[wisebeardman]

It's funny, in my country almost three times as many people are killed by alcohol every year than by guns. But Liberals tend to get extremely touchy when you mention alcohol prohibition. Interesting, because no one needs alcohol.

what is even better is the OP linking to the onion..... which as we say is a parody news site...

 

[JesusChica1991]

BUT JIMMY, MY KIDNEYS NEED ME ALCOHOL TO KEEP THEM HEALTHY

 

[JimJimmers]

BUT JIMMY, MY KIDNEYS NEED ME ALCOHOL TO KEEP THEM HEALTHY

Spoken like a true pirate. One more post to 1,111!

 

[JesusChica1991]

I totally didn't catch that I said "me" and not "my".

 

[wisebeardman]

Another fun fact. California where gun control reins supreme. this happened... how that gun control working out for ya cali?
Also why did the cops not check the kid out earlier when they were at his house? Could some liberal instated law been the result? Had the kid been here. he would still be in a mental hold.

 

[ThomistColin]

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

The Onion is a satirical news site. It doesn't report news. It creates fake stories as a way of providing satire.

 

[violakat]

what is even better is the OP linking to the onion..... which as we say is a parody news site...

You beat me to it.

 

[crossnote]

BUT JIMMY, MY KIDNEYS NEED ME ALCOHOL TO KEEP THEM HEALTHY

OK, Janis.

 

[crossnote]

60 years ago when there was much less gun regulation there were also much less of these crazy gun shooting massacres.

 

[SonInMe]

The real joke is we actually read David_1's threads.

Guess we evil conservatives need a laugh too.

 

[David_1]

The Onion is a satirical news site. It doesn't report news. It creates fake stories as a way of providing satire.

I know. Twas reading the onion since it began.

Whilst I'm happy to have a real discussion, the link was a joke.

Of course, the usual "real Christians" in this thread are hating on their neighbour (me). [Not referring to you ThomasColin]

 

[Donkeyfish07]

60 years ago when there was much less gun regulation there were also much less of these crazy gun shooting massacres.

In my mom's day kids used to take their guns with them to middle school all the time. They would keep them in their lockers and go hunting as soon as school let out. There was never a single shooting. Self defense or murder