My brother really thinks I need to post this one. I hope it is worth it.
Who Am I
I worry about slicing others
I don't like to cause hurt
I don't want to tear people down
That's not in my nature
I act as though I am impervious
That the barbs and stings don't sink in
That those who purposely set their minds to make a slice can't effect me
I'm strong. I'm hard. I'm a rock.
Those are a bunch of lies
I know who I am
I am a beloved daughter
A loved aunt
A granddaughter that has made her grandparents proud
A child of the King of Kings lead by His Holy Spirit
I strive to have my Lord's heart
But with that comes the cross that I bare
Those barbs, when shot by those close...sink in deep
Those slices that people make
Leave me scarred and afraid
This supposed warrior strong and unbending
Often stands alone
Sometimes because of the beliefs that others have
I stand as a light against their darkness
As is our call
Sometimes because brethren believe I have it together
That I don't need help
If they only knew.
They can't see it.
But most of the time
I stand alone because of my choosing
If I let them see
If I let them in
They would not believe what they see
A woman scarred and broken
Broken by the weight of peoples judgment
Torn by the words spoken
The laughter behind her back and the whispers they think she can't hear
So different from them that they have left her to walk alone all her life
A woman so accustom to being by herself she doesn't know how to be aroundothers any more
A woman child in a way
One who clings to God's leg for safety and security
For you see
God has seen the wounds and each cut
He has always held me close in His arms when pain flowed from my eyes
He created me knows how easier I fall to pieces
He lovingly puts me back together and works to help me not retreat and pullback
I so often want to just fold up onto a ball and never let anyone in
Praying for no feeling no caring no hurt
In reality that is to die a slow death of a hermit
He won't let me...that's not His plan for me
So who am I?
A creation that is still being worked on
Still being birthed into being
Still crying for the security of what was before
Before the betrayals and stabs
Before the cuts and neglect
Before those who thought they knew what was best for me
Before...when I could play, laugh, love, and be open and knew my life was good.
You see it was way back then that you could see who I really am
I was beautiful
That is who I really am
Who Am I
I worry about slicing others
I don't like to cause hurt
I don't want to tear people down
That's not in my nature
I act as though I am impervious
That the barbs and stings don't sink in
That those who purposely set their minds to make a slice can't effect me
I'm strong. I'm hard. I'm a rock.
Those are a bunch of lies
I know who I am
I am a beloved daughter
A loved aunt
A granddaughter that has made her grandparents proud
A child of the King of Kings lead by His Holy Spirit
I strive to have my Lord's heart
But with that comes the cross that I bare
Those barbs, when shot by those close...sink in deep
Those slices that people make
Leave me scarred and afraid
This supposed warrior strong and unbending
Often stands alone
Sometimes because of the beliefs that others have
I stand as a light against their darkness
As is our call
Sometimes because brethren believe I have it together
That I don't need help
If they only knew.
They can't see it.
But most of the time
I stand alone because of my choosing
If I let them see
If I let them in
They would not believe what they see
A woman scarred and broken
Broken by the weight of peoples judgment
Torn by the words spoken
The laughter behind her back and the whispers they think she can't hear
So different from them that they have left her to walk alone all her life
A woman so accustom to being by herself she doesn't know how to be aroundothers any more
A woman child in a way
One who clings to God's leg for safety and security
For you see
God has seen the wounds and each cut
He has always held me close in His arms when pain flowed from my eyes
He created me knows how easier I fall to pieces
He lovingly puts me back together and works to help me not retreat and pullback
I so often want to just fold up onto a ball and never let anyone in
Praying for no feeling no caring no hurt
In reality that is to die a slow death of a hermit
He won't let me...that's not His plan for me
So who am I?
A creation that is still being worked on
Still being birthed into being
Still crying for the security of what was before
Before the betrayals and stabs
Before the cuts and neglect
Before those who thought they knew what was best for me
Before...when I could play, laugh, love, and be open and knew my life was good.
You see it was way back then that you could see who I really am
I was beautiful
That is who I really am
reminds me of the Pslams when the author would lament and confess his doubts anxieties and despairs yet in the end remember who he is and the faithfulness of our God