L
I don't know how to face this.
Somewhere behind along the way
I lost sight of the basics,
and I feel like a slave today.
How many days I've wasted,
and I don't know what this is for.
I'm trapped today, and this weight
is sharp and heavy to the core.
Like a sword that cuts through
every intention, every castle
I build in the blue sky,
it seems long spent, the grace of youth.
When nights are spent with mockers,
and you drink one more to numb the pain,
you lose a part of that precious gift
until a memory remains.
A time when you could walk away,
and feel there was a higher plan.
Now you cannot lift yourself
those moments when you need to stand.
It seemed like something deeper
long ago when there was mystery,
but all the rainbow lights have faded.
This night I am alone with me.
No one responds to messages,
everyone keeps their distance.
All I have is shallow water,
nothing lasts. This is my sentence.
Once I thought my philosophies
ran so very deep.
Now I'm alone with all my notebooks,
and a friend is all I seek.
Day after day, now thirty years old
like thirty pieces of silver.
An empty bed, a far off song,
another night bewildered.
Looking at a picture of Jesus
I painted with my own hands,
knowing he looked nothing at all like this,
when he walked as a man.
Once I prophesied for profit,
hoping somehow I could win.
Now the night is cold and lonely,
and I only long for Him.
Is there mercy? I am heavy,
held by these rusty chains.
If I should die, still I will love Him,
for a memory remains.
I know not how to leave this place.
Each day is a fight to breathe.
I have nothing left to answer with.
Lord Jesus, have mercy on me.
Somewhere behind along the way
I lost sight of the basics,
and I feel like a slave today.
How many days I've wasted,
and I don't know what this is for.
I'm trapped today, and this weight
is sharp and heavy to the core.
Like a sword that cuts through
every intention, every castle
I build in the blue sky,
it seems long spent, the grace of youth.
When nights are spent with mockers,
and you drink one more to numb the pain,
you lose a part of that precious gift
until a memory remains.
A time when you could walk away,
and feel there was a higher plan.
Now you cannot lift yourself
those moments when you need to stand.
It seemed like something deeper
long ago when there was mystery,
but all the rainbow lights have faded.
This night I am alone with me.
No one responds to messages,
everyone keeps their distance.
All I have is shallow water,
nothing lasts. This is my sentence.
Once I thought my philosophies
ran so very deep.
Now I'm alone with all my notebooks,
and a friend is all I seek.
Day after day, now thirty years old
like thirty pieces of silver.
An empty bed, a far off song,
another night bewildered.
Looking at a picture of Jesus
I painted with my own hands,
knowing he looked nothing at all like this,
when he walked as a man.
Once I prophesied for profit,
hoping somehow I could win.
Now the night is cold and lonely,
and I only long for Him.
Is there mercy? I am heavy,
held by these rusty chains.
If I should die, still I will love Him,
for a memory remains.
I know not how to leave this place.
Each day is a fight to breathe.
I have nothing left to answer with.
Lord Jesus, have mercy on me.
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