Afraid of another today.

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AdorableNoel

Guest
#1
#1
Feel free to skip to the poem :)

I don't want to sleep.. I'm afraid I'll start a whole nother process tomorrow. Of waking up: mind focused on God. (if mind not focused on God.. become sad, focus it on Him and try to do better next morning) All listening to good music & pondering & discussing Him with others who understand.. then BAM memories, recent ones, old ones, ones i hadnt thought of since they happened.. then comes temptation for all sorts of things. i'm already weakened so it's hard not to give in. I listen to some more music to drown things out.. then it still doesnt help.. bam bam bam-there goes more trouble. So i give in knowing what I'm doing is wrong. Question if God has given up on me.. try to earn forgiveness. Then try to do better. Everyday. I havent had 'rest' from it in a long time. I haven't had rest from constant temptation since i gave up my life. Is it suppose to be 24/7?

Tomorrow is another day
I hope to see no reminders of yesterday
It's hard to believe my sins are washed away
When I sin too many times for even myself to remember
I'm alone in this
When I look around I see people without a mess
They have no struggles and live perfect lives
For me, it feels like I'm alone in this fight
One soldier against everything that breaks her down
I'm not strong and I have no weapons
I look to God, but sometimes I don't want Him to listen
Why remind Him of all the mistakes I have made?
Why tell Him I'm just not going to turn out okay
Give up on me, I would say
I'm not worth the effort
I want His big warm arms for comfort
And His words of reassurance
But if it means I have to be weak.. I'm too afraid
Too afraid I'm going to turn out a certain way
My past is always haunting and it leaks into my present
My future seems dark and gloomy
I've been fighting myself(?) for what seems like forever
Is all hope gone?
But His name will be hope for all the nations..

Still I'm a sinner
I love God with all my heart
But in Christ I'm just a beginner
His other children he's had for years
They've had time to grow
If someone asked me about the bible
My frequent answer is 'I don’t know'
I sin everyday.. Often more than once
How can I be this way?
I'm not worth your only son
Tell me He'll forgive me.. It's what I long to hear
But truth is when I sin I know what I'm doing
So I doubt God wants me near
Not belonging to Him,
Is my greatest fear

-Jasmyne
 
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Daniel94

Guest
#2
#2
Great poem and I know what you mean about constant temptation. It can be very difficult to fight it, but we must for God's sake. He does not want to see us in bad situations. I am going to assume you wrote the poem and if you did it is excellent. Poetry and writing is not my strong point, but it seems you have something going for yourself. Also if the poem is about you you need not worry about Him thinking your not deserving because we all are and I can only say this because I feel I have changed since I posted my post because I have not had as much trouble as I had before. As for you not knowing something in the Bible that is fine too because all you have to do is read it which I am actually going to start reading it Friday or Saturday.

Lastly listen to this song if you haven't heard it. It really helps me when I keep thinking of my sins. It helps me remind me I am still loved.

It is Jesus Friend Of Sinners by Casting Crowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipwEtvWL_3c&feature=related
 
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Daniel94

Guest
#3
#3
Also I know the song is mainly talking about reaching out to those who don't have Jesus, but I see it as he is also my friend and loves me even though I still have the constant temptation because He is a friend of sinners.

And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

That part particular helps me.

Sorry for posting two replies, it wouldn't let me edit the other and I did not want anyone to misunderstand what I meant by posting the song.
 
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AdorableNoel

Guest
#4
#4
Daniel94 said:
Great poem and I know what you mean about constant temptation. It can be very difficult to fight it, but we must for God's sake. He does not want to see us in bad situations. I am going to assume you wrote the poem and if you did it is excellent. Poetry and writing is not my strong point, but it seems you have something going for yourself. Also if the poem is about you you need not worry about Him thinking your not deserving because we all are and I can only say this because I feel I have changed since I posted my post because I have not had as much trouble as I had before. As for you not knowing something in the Bible that is fine too because all you have to do is read it which I am actually going to start reading it Friday or Saturday.

Lastly listen to this song if you haven't heard it. It really helps me when I keep thinking of my sins. It helps me remind me I am still loved.

It is Jesus Friend Of Sinners by Casting Crowns

Jesus, Friend of Sinners - Casting Crowns - YouTube
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Thank you Daniel.. i think I might have heard of that song what's before, i will listen to it again :)

Yes, i wrote the poem.. and i was talking about myself haha.
Im glad to hear you're not having as much trouble! :D
So, once again thank you.

God Bless you :)
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#5
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#5
Wow, Noel, not one of us is worthy of what Jesus did. Not one.

The bible does say that it will get easier to resist temptation the longer we go without giving in to it. So that's the first good news. The second is 1 John 1:9 ~
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

As hard as it is for any of us to imagine, Jesus loves us. A lot. And if you ask Him to help you trust Him and to help you stay away from sin... cast your cares on Him (that includes memories, give those to God, too)... try to pray or sing to Him when you are being tempted... then I believe everything will get easier with time. I'm really glad you found Jesus, and I hope that He brings you peace from these things that are bothering you. <3
 
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Daniel94

Guest
#6
#6
AdorableNoel said:
Thank you Daniel.. i think I might have heard of that song what's before, i will listen to it again :)

Yes, i wrote the poem.. and i was talking about myself haha.
Im glad to hear you're not having as much trouble! :D
So, once again thank you.

God Bless you :)
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God Bless you too! I actually find my escape in Christian music so if I reply to you again and give you a song sorry, but a lot of times its how I comfort myself and music is a great escape. Not sure if you listen to contemporary Christian music like the song I posted, but a great radio station is KLOVE. I listen to them all the time. Not sure where you live, but if you go to there website Listen to Contemporary Christian Music online or find a radio station near you - Positive Encouraging K-LOVE you could probably find a local station or listen online. Also once again I love your poem. I can really relate to some of the stuff in it.
 
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AdorableNoel

Guest
#7
#7
Daniel94 said:
God Bless you too! I actually find my escape in Christian music so if I reply to you again and give you a song sorry, but a lot of times its how I comfort myself and music is a great escape. Not sure if you listen to contemporary Christian music like the song I posted, but a great radio station is KLOVE. I listen to them all the time. Not sure where you live, but if you go to there website Listen to Contemporary Christian Music online or find a radio station near you - Positive Encouraging K-LOVE you could probably find a local station or listen online. Also once again I love your poem. I can really relate to some of the stuff in it.
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I find my escape in it also :D Casting Crowns was actuallly one of the first music 'groups(?)' i listened to when i gave up secular music :) I can download KLOVE on my phone, i saw the app for it but i didn't think it was any good, but i'll take your advice and listen to it :) My local station plays mostly country christian music.. i mean i like country.. but not enough to only listen to it haha.
Oh and thank you.. I've been thinking about taking my poems farther with my life.. I used to write poetry before i met God .. but they were really bad poems. Feels good to write something with true meaning.
 
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Daniel94

Guest
#8
#8
AdorableNoel said:
I find my escape in it also :D Casting Crowns was actuallly one of the first music 'groups(?)' i listened to when i gave up secular music :) I can download KLOVE on my phone, i saw the app for it but i didn't think it was any good, but i'll take your advice and listen to it :) My local station plays mostly country christian music.. i mean i like country.. but not enough to only listen to it haha.
Oh and thank you.. I've been thinking about taking my poems farther with my life.. I used to write poetry before i met God .. but they were really bad poems. Feels good to write something with true meaning.
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Casting Crowns is probably my favorite group, but there are also other great groups and artists out there. I am not a big fan of country music myself, but that is the only thing my sister listens to unless I make her put it on KLOVE. :D My problem with country music is it seems to repeat itself a lot, but that is just my opinion. Actually one christian country song I love is Long Black Train by Josh Turner. It is fairly old though and you don't hear it that often.

You should definitely take your poems farther. If any others you write are like the one you posted you will do great!
 
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AdorableNoel

Guest
#9
#9
Daniel94 said:
Casting Crowns is probably my favorite group, but there are also other great groups and artists out there. I am not a big fan of country music myself, but that is the only thing my sister listens to unless I make her put it on KLOVE. :D My problem with country music is it seems to repeat itself a lot, but that is just my opinion. Actually one christian country song I love is Long Black Train by Josh Turner. It is fairly old though and you don't hear it that often.

You should definitely take your poems farther. If any others you write are like the one you posted you will do great!
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Haha. I think I'll have a ton of music to listen to now :p , thanks.
Country doesn't feel quite right.. doesn't make me want to dance/and or sing with them (I can't dance.. so if a song moves me to dance, it's a good one haha)

Haha, Thank you. I think that one just happened to be good because my poems aren't that great, just a jumble of words lol :)
 
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Daniel94

Guest
#10
#10
AdorableNoel said:
Haha. I think I'll have a ton of music to listen to now :p , thanks.
Country doesn't feel quite right.. doesn't make me want to dance/and or sing with them (I can't dance.. so if a song moves me to dance, it's a good one haha)

Haha, Thank you. I think that one just happened to be good because my poems aren't that great, just a jumble of words lol :)
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I know what you mean about dancing. I can't dance and won't dance, but some songs make me feel like I want to. Also how I feel about singing cause I can't sing at all, but I know I really like a song when I want to sing it. I wouldn't even know how to dance to country music though...square dance maybe? lol I am going to have to Google that one.

I think you are being too modest. To me it looks like you have a real gift from God. Don't let it go to waste!
 
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AdorableNoel

Guest
#11
#11
Daniel94 said:
I know what you mean about dancing. I can't dance and won't dance, but some songs make me feel like I want to. Also how I feel about singing cause I can't sing at all, but I know I really like a song when I want to sing it. I wouldn't even know how to dance to country music though...square dance maybe? lol I am going to have to Google that one.

I think you are being too modest. To me it looks like you have a real gift from God. Don't let it go to waste!
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Hey square dancing is fun! :p lol, you don't actually have to know how to dance to do it.. just be somewhat coordinated and partially have rhymthm! Lol Oh , I listened to "Jesus friend of sinners- Casting Crowns" love it! & KLove is great too- thanks :)

Well thank you, but the day I ever realize I have a "gift" will be the days pigs fly! Lol
 
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Daniel94

Guest
#12
#12
AdorableNoel said:
Hey square dancing is fun! :p lol, you don't actually have to know how to dance to do it.. just be somewhat coordinated and partially have rhymthm! Lol Oh , I listened to "Jesus friend of sinners- Casting Crowns" love it! & KLove is great too- thanks :)

Well thank you, but the day I ever realize I have a "gift" will be the days pigs fly! Lol
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I have never square danced so I don't know and I definitely do not have rhythm. Your welcome for the song and station.

You definitely have a gift. I think everyone has a special gift from God even if it takes a while to figure it out. Poetry may or may not be your gift. Only God knows. He might have something way bigger planned for you.

You need to realize you have a gift, I want to see those pigs fly lol and on that note....

I am going to pray for you to realize God has given you a gift so LOOK OUT EVERYONE PIGS ARE GOING TO FLY VERY SOON!
 
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