View Poll Results: What Would You Choose? (Please Read Thread First, Then Make Your Selections.)

Voters
14. You may not vote on this poll
  • (Mother/wife) I would want to try to live for my family and would start chemo right away, even if it means sacrificing my baby.

    2 14.29%
  • (Mother/wife) I would wait until I gave birth, even if it means dying and leaving my family (and other child or children and husband) behind.

    6 42.86%
  • (Husband/father) I would want my wife to start chemo right away in order to try to save her life, even if it means sacrificing my baby.

    4 28.57%
  • (Husband/father) I would want my wife to wait until after giving birth, even if it means losing my wife and raising my children alone.

    0 0%
  • (If you were the unborn child) I would want my mother to put her own life first.

    6 42.86%
  • (If you were the unborn child) I would want my mother to give me a chance to live, even if it means that she herself would most likely die, leaving me, my father, and siblings behind.

    0 0%
  • Other--I have other thoughts I would like to share.

    1 7.14%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Results 1 to 10 of 10
Like Tree9Likes
  • 6 Post By DuchessAimee
  • 2 Post By Trinity33
  • 1 Post By blue_ladybug

Christian Singles Forum

Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

  1. #1
    Senior Member seoulsearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 23rd, 2009
    Age
    43
    Posts
    9,451
    Rep Power
    104

    Default Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    Hey Singles,

    Sorry for the heavy topics but it's autumn, and this is always my most intense season of self-reflection. Some may say this would be better suited for the Family Forum but Single is what I'm familiar with, and seeing as I am very single, I always decide to post my thoughts here.

    I just saw this heart-breaking video on Yahoo:

    https://screen.yahoo.com/cute-and-in...012500439.html

    A young mother, only in her mid-20's, found out when she has terminal bone cancer when she was 10 weeks pregnant. She had the option of beginning treatment right away, but this would have killed the baby, and she decided to delay treatment because she said she could never kill a perfectly happy baby just to save herself, and that maybe it was meant for her to leave this life but for her daughter to stay.

    As if this didn't break every string in your heart already, she and her husband already have a 6-year-old son, and she said that her little boy told her that when she passes away (they've given her a year to live), her son said, "I want to go with you." Oh my goodness.

    The reason I ask this is because I have a friend who is an ordained minister with a friend who was in this exact predicament--young, pregnant with a second child, diagnosed with terminal cancer. Their first child was a little bit younger than in the article above--only about 2 years old.

    In this particular case, torn and heartbroken, the woman had an abortion and began her chemotherapy treatments right away, because her husband could not bear the thought of 1. losing a second child while in addition, 2. losing his wife, AND, 3. being left behind to raise their first child by himself.

    So far, her treatments have been successful and while I don't have any updates, last I heard, she actually has a chance to survive.

    It's a situation NONE of us would ever want to see ourselves in. What would God want us to do in each case? What would YOU do?

    To be blatantly honest, I can't even fathom being the mother. I would have to say, that because I am adopted myself, I would want to choose to allow my baby to live, just as my own mother made that choice for me. BUT, if I had a husband and another child... I don't know what I would do.

    I do know that if it would have been my own mother and she had to make that decision for herself, if I would have had a way to communicate with her from my place in the womb, I would have told her, "Mama, you take care of you and my daddy and brother/sister. Don't you worry, and don't you cry, because God will take care of me. I love you."

    The poll is anonymous and multiple choice for those who want to choose more than one answer. Put yourself into this situation for a minute.

    1. If you were the wife/mother, what would you choose?

    2. If you were the husband/father, what would you choose?

    3. If you were the unborn child whose life was in danger, what would you want your parents to do?

    I know we often say, "I would NEVER... do such-and-such... (such as, have an abortion or support one)," and I am certainly NOT saying that there are any exceptions for having an abortion (it's still taking a life), but my purpose in posting this is that maybe we can all remember to have a little more compassion on the people we meet each day, because we all face hard decisions in this life.

    Show kindness to someone around you today, and God bless.
    Being catfished is one of the worst online experiences you can have.

    If that person you're talking to seems too good or too good-looking to be real... It's probably because they AREN'T. Or at least, they aren't being real... with you. Please, be careful! <3

    Proverbs 4:23 -- "Above all else, guard your heart... for it determines the course of your life."




  2. #2
    Senior Member DuchessAimee's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 27th, 2011
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,791
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    16

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    I would have had the chemo, but I don't think I would have had the abortion. A woman I know got pregnant while she was on chemo. She and her husband had been told that kids were impossible, and that there was no way she could get pregnant and carry to term. Their son is about 5 years old.


    I would have chosen my life, my husband, and my six year old.
    I'll be fine. I think I've figured out how to steer by gesturing emphatically.

  3. #3
    Senior Member seoulsearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 23rd, 2009
    Age
    43
    Posts
    9,451
    Rep Power
    104

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    P.S. I also forgot to mention that in both of these cases, there is also the scenario of the mother delaying treatment, delivering a healthy baby, and leaving the husband with not just one, but two or more children to raise by himself.

    Thanks for your consideration, and I look forward to seeing you all share your thoughts.
    Being catfished is one of the worst online experiences you can have.

    If that person you're talking to seems too good or too good-looking to be real... It's probably because they AREN'T. Or at least, they aren't being real... with you. Please, be careful! <3

    Proverbs 4:23 -- "Above all else, guard your heart... for it determines the course of your life."




  4. #4
    Senior Member Trinity33's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 27th, 2014
    Posts
    368
    Rep Power
    3

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    Wow what a decision that would have to be made. I would definitely....gosh....I would seriously have to pray on this and listen intently on my inner voice. I would more then likely wait for the baby to be born honestly. It is so hard because I have 2 daughters that mean everything to me. To not try for them goes against so much of how I feel. Thank you Jesus for not making me have to make that decision..... Amen
    seoulsearch and Jullianna like this.

  5. #5
    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    February 21st, 2014
    Age
    46
    Posts
    55,046
    Blog Entries
    8
    Rep Power
    275

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?


    I could answer this a couple different ways. Having actually had cancer myself four years ago, I would NOT have done chemo. But that's only if I was'nt pregnant..

    To answer the OP seoul posted, hmmmm....I would probably..put off chemo and have the baby. I don't believe in abortion even if it's to save my own life. I'm fully prepared to die, so if it was God's plan for the baby to live and me to die, then that would be ok with me.
    Trinity33 likes this.





    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."
    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    LOL.. I'll use that defense the next time I get accused of something.. lol


    To read my cancer, depression, physical pain & suicide testimonies, go to the Blog tab in my profile.



  6. #6
    Senior Member Nautilus's Avatar
    Join Date
    June 29th, 2012
    Age
    34
    Posts
    6,484
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    i would choose my wife no matter what and couldnt be with someone who felt otherwise

  7. #7
    Senior Member Fenner's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 26th, 2013
    Age
    47
    Posts
    7,463
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    73

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    That would be a horrible choice to have to make. I think for the sake of my older child I would have the treatments. I wouldn't have an abortion. I'm beyond having anymore children, I'm thankful I didn't have to make this choice. How awful.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Roh_Chris's Avatar
    Join Date
    June 15th, 2014
    Age
    28
    Posts
    4,725
    Rep Power
    24

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    Your question is very difficult to answer, seoul.

    If I were the unborn kid, I would want my mom to put her life first and save herself.

  9. #9
    Senior Member seoulsearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 23rd, 2009
    Age
    43
    Posts
    9,451
    Rep Power
    104

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by DuchessAimee View Post
    I would have had the chemo, but I don't think I would have had the abortion. A woman I know got pregnant while she was on chemo. She and her husband had been told that kids were impossible, and that there was no way she could get pregnant and carry to term. Their son is about 5 years old.


    I would have chosen my life, my husband, and my six year old.
    I think that if I were the mom in this situation, this is probably the closest answer I'd choose as well.

    However, my biggest fear would be going through chemo and whatever treatments I could... and having those treatments cause birth defects and/or conditions in my unborn child that could have been completely prevented had I waited until after the birth.
    Being catfished is one of the worst online experiences you can have.

    If that person you're talking to seems too good or too good-looking to be real... It's probably because they AREN'T. Or at least, they aren't being real... with you. Please, be careful! <3

    Proverbs 4:23 -- "Above all else, guard your heart... for it determines the course of your life."




  10. #10
    Senior Member ChandlerFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 8th, 2013
    Age
    27
    Posts
    1,056
    Blog Entries
    4
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Who Would You Choose: Yourself, Your Baby, or Your Wife?

    In that situation, I would want what my wife wants, hands down. And I would just want it to all be okay, however that ended up happening.
    "The gospel says you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope." - Tim Keller

    "It is the habit, if not the consistent practice of God to pull from the fringes of darkness His brightest lights." - Matt Chandler

    My blog



Similar Threads

  1. Wife delivering baby early & broke
    By Michael86 in forum Christian Family Forum
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: November 11th, 2013, 05:50 AM
  2. Replies: 73
    Last Post: June 6th, 2013, 05:36 PM
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: April 9th, 2013, 01:26 PM
  4. Replies: 21
    Last Post: December 24th, 2012, 05:10 PM
  5. My Youth Pastor's Wife's New Baby
    By Laretta in forum Prayer Requests
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: November 14th, 2011, 02:42 AM