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Many... The positives flip like a coin to reveal negatives too. For example...having a significant other means you share in everything. In many ways, that's awesome! I don't have to be alone and always have someone who cares for me, Wants to be with me, wants to know my thoughts and feelings, to play with, to be serious with, to go crazy with, to seek God with, to experience life with...
...but the flip side is that things mainly hurting only me, now hurt someone else. When I fail, it's not only me that pays for it. If I'm irresponsible with finances, I won't be the only one sick, homeless, or starving... If I cause injury or act foolishly, the person I care about most will be worried, afraid, hurt, angry, sad... Not that we have exclusive rights to ourselves as Christians, but even so...now with someone else... What I do can be a hinderence. If I stay up all night playing games or music...no one cares. With a spouse, it's different... My time is not my own....my actions quickly and directly affect her...
So... though I'm not a worrier by nature, I do worry a bit about that. All of a sudden my addictions, poor life choices, bad habits...are burdens on her. I wonder sometimes if I will find someone in light of such things... Even those looking see things like my being in over a dozen relationships and wonder...they feel some anxiety about me before even really digging much... Idk... Anyway... That's my initial response, I suppose.
...but the flip side is that things mainly hurting only me, now hurt someone else. When I fail, it's not only me that pays for it. If I'm irresponsible with finances, I won't be the only one sick, homeless, or starving... If I cause injury or act foolishly, the person I care about most will be worried, afraid, hurt, angry, sad... Not that we have exclusive rights to ourselves as Christians, but even so...now with someone else... What I do can be a hinderence. If I stay up all night playing games or music...no one cares. With a spouse, it's different... My time is not my own....my actions quickly and directly affect her...
So... though I'm not a worrier by nature, I do worry a bit about that. All of a sudden my addictions, poor life choices, bad habits...are burdens on her. I wonder sometimes if I will find someone in light of such things... Even those looking see things like my being in over a dozen relationships and wonder...they feel some anxiety about me before even really digging much... Idk... Anyway... That's my initial response, I suppose.
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Will I be able to handle the responsibilities, challenges, inconveniences, hurts etc...that married life will bring? Just asking...I know God will be there to guide me. I know its not a bed of roses...but I am not afraid if God will let it happen in my life. Its all up to Him.
It all begins with an engagement ring, then a wedding ring and the best part the suffering...lol!
It all begins with an engagement ring, then a wedding ring and the best part the suffering...lol!
I agree it could be something to be concerned about. But nothing is impossible with God. Have you seen a true to life movie called "machine gun preacher"? God turned a criminal into a radical and passionate believer and preacher. There is nothing to fear as long as you let God take the wheel and take charge of your life. Surely you will not be able to control your husband if he changes but God is always in control. You just have to trust Him because only Him holds the future.
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The more I think about this question, the more differing answers I get. I have been in long-term relationships before, as I was married for nearly five years earlier in life. However, even with that, I'm worried that the next person that I'm with (if God allows) will be honest and truthful with me, and not run around behind my back. I'm also concerned that a lot of the same things that have hurt me during my single life will do the same, if not worse, when I'm in a relationship again (ie. addictions, etc.). Another concern is having a child with a woman I'm not with, and wanting to raise a family with the person God chooses for me... and making sure to never neglect one child over the other.
Oh... and finding a woman that will accept me for all my quirks, oddities, etc. That's a concern, too!
Oh... and finding a woman that will accept me for all my quirks, oddities, etc. That's a concern, too!
C
I think my biggest concerns if I were to remarry are (in no particular order):
how will my kids respond
is she Biblically able to remarry (if she was previously married) {and no, I don't want to engage in a discussion about this sort of thing here and now, so go back to some other forum, please}
the absolute mortal fear of discovering myself in the same situation I was in before, history repeating itself, blah blah blah.
how will my kids respond
is she Biblically able to remarry (if she was previously married) {and no, I don't want to engage in a discussion about this sort of thing here and now, so go back to some other forum, please}
the absolute mortal fear of discovering myself in the same situation I was in before, history repeating itself, blah blah blah.
K
If you do not feel that you have the gift of singleness, what is your greatest concern/fear/question about married life?
Perhaps someone here can help.
Perhaps someone here can help.
J
If you do not feel that you have the gift of singleness, what is your greatest concern/fear/question about married life?
Perhaps someone here can help.
Perhaps someone here can help.
my greatest concern now, looking to the future is "will I find someone worthwhile?" Who will value God first, and me too...and my daughter, who will be a full-blown teen by then! lol
She is quite Christian herself...but still, she's a teen...
