Do you believe in romance??

[Jenny712]

I am curious. Do you believe in romance yes or no?? If not why not?? How would you define romance?? Does romance go away after your married??

For me I dunno if I believe in romance or not. I like to think it exists but we do live in a fallen sinful world. For me romance is getting flowers and gifts unexpectedly without reason just because, getting love letters in the mail from someone when they live next door, calling me just to hear my voice, wanting to spend time with me just because, dancing with me when there is no music, going for walks in the rain, getting hugs and kisses when I don't expect them and when I do expect them, serenading me outside my house, opening doors for me, pulling out chairs for me to sit in, carrying me down steps so that I will not fall. When I think of romance I think of the Disney movies such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty And The Beast, The Little Mermaid etc. What is your opinion?? Are these childish thoughts that one needs to forget about?? Have you experienced what you would call romance?? Please share.

 

[wisebeardman]

experienced? nope.
believe in it? nope, its all stuff pushed out via Disney movies

 

[AnnaBou]

Oh I'm hoping for a Prince or Knight in armour. I believe in Courtly love and Romance and will not be looking at any guy who will not romance me and try hard to get me too.

 

[MissCris]

Everyone has their own idea of what is/isn't romantic. Personally, I don't care much about getting flowers or gifts, I don't care much about dancing, I don't care whether chairs are pulled out for me or not. If those things happen, cool...I appreciate it...but I don't expect it, and I don't miss it when it doesn't happen.

What I find romantic is when my husband and I are trying to decide on a movie to watch, and he wants to watch something that will give me nightmares, and I want to watch something that will make him roll his eyes the whole way through, and we squabble good naturedly about it until we come up with a compromise (I'll watch the scary movie if he cooks dinner twice that week, or he'll watch the sappy romance movie if I haul the trash to the dump <---actual deals we've made in the last month).

So to me, compromise and helping each other out without fighting or either of us getting angry is "romance".

So no, romance doesn't always end once you're married, but it can change. The trouble is, a lot of times, women want/expect/demand a particular type of romance (the flowers, gifts, etc) and they tend to overlook things like the guy taking a little time off work to fix her car for her, or him skipping out on a chance to go fishing (or whatever he likes to do) in order to be with her. Women (obviously not all women, but certainly some) tend to think that the relationship must have fizzled out when they stop getting romantic gifts.

Note: After nine years of marriage, and several separations, and countless fights and a lot of anger...I might finally have learned something about making a relationship work. It's too soon to tell, and I don't want to get ahead of myself, but it SEEMS like we're figuring it out. I'd put that into the Romance category.

So, final answer- I believe in romance. I do Not believe in Disney romance.

 

[Lynx]

As with everything else, Calvin and Hobbes have a unique take on romance:

Calvin: MOM! WAKE UP! COME QUICK!
Mom: What's wrong? What's the matter?
Calvin: Do you think love is nothing but a biochemical reaction designed to make sure our genes get passed on?
Mom: Whatever it is, it's all that's keeping me from strangling you right now.
(Mom leaves)
Calvin: Mom's midnight assurances are never very reassuring.

 

[Trailblazer]

Does a fish like water?
Romance can be alone close together with someone. A dim lit restaurant. A picnic in the park. Out together with mother nature on a hike. or out on a boat together.

All the things I think a Christian single is not suppose to be doing. LOL

 

[Shouryu]

Romance and love are two different things.

Romance is what the world wants you to believe what love is: Nicholas Sparks, Disney, Valentine's Day, etc.
--Kissing in the rain
--Rose petals and champagne
--"Noooo, YOU hang up first! *giggle*"
--Moonlight serenades

Actual love is too busy for that stuff. Because actual LOVE is busy doing this:
--Changing a poopy-diaper instead of watching the final game-winning drive
--Scrounging up a homemade meal after a 12-hour workday because even fast-food is too expensive
--Skipping out on any Christmas gifts for yourself or your spouse to make sure bills are paid
--Praying and crying together when a parent-in-law or sibling-in-law dies
--Working extra hours so your spouse can finish that degree
--Making the bed every morning, because they like it made even though you think it's a waste of time
--Using your hard-earned day off to clean and prep the house for a visit from your in-laws
--Fighting over an undone chore, an impulse purchase, or an unthoughtful remark
--Doing things the way God says in the Bible, rather than take the easy way out
--Actually talking out fears and frustrations, rather than hiding at the bar or coffee shop for hours
--Watching them suffer through chemotherapy, or surgery, or depression
--Driving the rusted out junkpile for another year or two because they needed the newer car more
--Not sleeping while you instead, help your offspring with ANOTHER diorama for school
--Walking, feeding, and cleaning up after a dog you never wanted

Who's ready to sign up for a lifetime of THAT?! Sounds AWESOME, right?

Of course it doesn't. Romance is an idea, which makes it a noun, a feeling, a thing. Love is what you DO...as DCTalk once sang, love is a VERB. So we buy the lie about romance, thinking that's the ideal version of love. But when it comes time to LOVE, to actually DO...and we find out that love is NOT romance, roughly 50% of people find out that being romantic isn't enough to actually LOVE, and another marriage fails.

Romance is what you create because YOU WANT. You want, "need," that other person in your life. So you create romance to win them over.

Love is what you do, because THEY NEED. They need something, and you do the providing for that need, because you don't want them to have unmet needs. To be loved in return is no different, your partner equally thinking of YOUR need, and wanting to provide for you.

Christ doesn't romance us. He doesn't woo us or seduce us...He loves because we need, and He can provide for our need if we are willing to give ourselves to Him. THAT'S our model of love.

In the end, all romance does is lead you to the bedroom. Nice, but not sustainable. Also, far too much work for far too little reward. (Seriously, getting laid doesn't actually require romance, but in a day and age where people can barely distinguish 'being loved' from 'making love,' well...) Love leads to pain and sacrifice, but the comfort of knowing you aren't alone, and that someone is going to be with you when your life is hardest, when times are darkest, when anyone one else would abandon you.

Do I believe romance exists? Sure. I also believe that Twinkies exist. But I also know better than to eat nothing but Twinkies and expect healthy results...

 

[blueorchidjd]

I can definitely say that romance can be boiled down to this:

Befriending one another.
Keeping boundaries
Caring about the other person's soul, and watering the flowers of their heart, cute right?
Surprising one another
Being selfless!
Talking about your relationship with God with one another, talking about your hurts and hang-ups, your day, average things. Something that makes you laugh....But at the same time that boundary is TORTURE when you are dating someone you love. That I am not looking forward to if I ever begin dating again.

Putting the others' well-being before your own, but not sacrificing or causing another to stumble.

Just adventuring off on a whim, ya know?
Go plant a tree or something.

 

[Lynx]

LOVE IS list for a husband. Ladies, take note.
By Erma Bombeck

Love is climbing out of a warm bed at night and checking if all the doors are locked because you thought you heard something.

Love is giving you the slice of pizza with more pepperoni when you know I love pepperoni.

Love is acting excited over that $72 needlepoint canvas you bought, when we both know you still haven't finished the quilt, the pillow top, the curtains or the latch-hook rug you were so excited over before.

Love is moving the car seat up to where you always put it before I get out, so you won't have to.

Love is painting a room together and letting you have the roller while I do around the windows.

Love is learning how to make coffee, and where the cups are.

Love is refraining from telling you how the thermostat works when you set it too high or too low.

Love is pretending to be jealous of your former boyfriend who became a priest.

Love is never going on a diet when you're fat.

Love is giving you the women's section first, even though the sports section is in the same part of the newspaper.

Love is a lot of little things that add up to caring. It's not always three little words. Sometimes it's six. "Honey, I filled your gas tank."

 

[Theygaveutheirworst]

I've been romantic to those I've dated, but they seemed to have gotten bored with it after a while...

It's awesome to think of creative ideas that show someone how much you care about them. I think love letters should make a comeback.lol

 

[Theygaveutheirworst]

@Lynx Romance can be done through doing small things for sure! Thanks for sharing that list- it'll give me ideas for the future.lol

 

[Fenner]

I'm like MissCriss, romance is different for everyone and I don't believe in Disney romance either.

Romance to me is, sharing chores, working in the garden together, painting a room together, going grocery shopping together.
I think it's romantic when your partner does something they'll know you'll appreciate. Vacuum, put the kids to bed, record your favorite TV show for you. Give you a kiss on the cheek in the middle of the day, things like that.

 

[kenthomas27]

Romance and love are two different things.

Romance is what the world wants you to believe what love is: Nicholas Sparks, Disney, Valentine's Day, etc.
--Kissing in the rain
--Rose petals and champagne
--"Noooo, YOU hang up first! *giggle*"
--Moonlight serenades

Actual love is too busy for that stuff. Because actual LOVE is busy doing this:
--Changing a poopy-diaper instead of watching the final game-winning drive
--Scrounging up a homemade meal after a 12-hour workday because even fast-food is too expensive
--Skipping out on any Christmas gifts for yourself or your spouse to make sure bills are paid
--Praying and crying together when a parent-in-law or sibling-in-law dies
--Working extra hours so your spouse can finish that degree
--Making the bed every morning, because they like it made even though you think it's a waste of time
--Using your hard-earned day off to clean and prep the house for a visit from your in-laws
--Fighting over an undone chore, an impulse purchase, or an unthoughtful remark
--Doing things the way God says in the Bible, rather than take the easy way out
--Actually talking out fears and frustrations, rather than hiding at the bar or coffee shop for hours
--Watching them suffer through chemotherapy, or surgery, or depression
--Driving the rusted out junkpile for another year or two because they needed the newer car more
--Not sleeping while you instead, help your offspring with ANOTHER diorama for school
--Walking, feeding, and cleaning up after a dog you never wanted

Who's ready to sign up for a lifetime of THAT?! Sounds AWESOME, right?

Of course it doesn't. Romance is an idea, which makes it a noun, a feeling, a thing. Love is what you DO...as DCTalk once sang, love is a VERB. So we buy the lie about romance, thinking that's the ideal version of love. But when it comes time to LOVE, to actually DO...and we find out that love is NOT romance, roughly 50% of people find out that being romantic isn't enough to actually LOVE, and another marriage fails.

Romance is what you create because YOU WANT. You want, "need," that other person in your life. So you create romance to win them over.

Love is what you do, because THEY NEED. They need something, and you do the providing for that need, because you don't want them to have unmet needs. To be loved in return is no different, your partner equally thinking of YOUR need, and wanting to provide for you.

Christ doesn't romance us. He doesn't woo us or seduce us...He loves because we need, and He can provide for our need if we are willing to give ourselves to Him. THAT'S our model of love.

In the end, all romance does is lead you to the bedroom. Nice, but not sustainable. Also, far too much work for far too little reward. (Seriously, getting laid doesn't actually require romance, but in a day and age where people can barely distinguish 'being loved' from 'making love,' well...) Love leads to pain and sacrifice, but the comfort of knowing you aren't alone, and that someone is going to be with you when your life is hardest, when times are darkest, when anyone one else would abandon you.

Do I believe romance exists? Sure. I also believe that Twinkies exist. But I also know better than to eat nothing but Twinkies and expect healthy results...

this. This at least should be a blog and at most legislatively required reading for the infatuated. . Heck i'd marry you myself except for that hang up with webbed feet of yours.

 

[Blain]

I believe in romance. I believe in true love in which both spouses even knowing their flaws accept them as they are, in which they both fall more and more in love with each other as the years go by. In which they constantly show their affection for each other even loving the tiniest thing about them like their laugh or just holding them. even in the bad times and the arguments which will happen they still love each other to much to stay mad at each other.

in todays world you have so many married couples getting divorced or having a terrible marriage, so not many have this kind of love. But if I get married and if I even find a girl this will be what our love will be with God as the number one thing in our hearts of course. If God has this in mind for me I am sure he will reveal her to me, I will just wait for her while continuing to seek the Lord

 

[Blain]

Romance and love are two different things.

Romance is what the world wants you to believe what love is: Nicholas Sparks, Disney, Valentine's Day, etc.
--Kissing in the rain
--Rose petals and champagne
--"Noooo, YOU hang up first! *giggle*"
--Moonlight serenades

Actual love is too busy for that stuff. Because actual LOVE is busy doing this:
--Changing a poopy-diaper instead of watching the final game-winning drive
--Scrounging up a homemade meal after a 12-hour workday because even fast-food is too expensive
--Skipping out on any Christmas gifts for yourself or your spouse to make sure bills are paid
--Praying and crying together when a parent-in-law or sibling-in-law dies
--Working extra hours so your spouse can finish that degree
--Making the bed every morning, because they like it made even though you think it's a waste of time
--Using your hard-earned day off to clean and prep the house for a visit from your in-laws
--Fighting over an undone chore, an impulse purchase, or an unthoughtful remark
--Doing things the way God says in the Bible, rather than take the easy way out
--Actually talking out fears and frustrations, rather than hiding at the bar or coffee shop for hours
--Watching them suffer through chemotherapy, or surgery, or depression
--Driving the rusted out junkpile for another year or two because they needed the newer car more
--Not sleeping while you instead, help your offspring with ANOTHER diorama for school
--Walking, feeding, and cleaning up after a dog you never wanted

Who's ready to sign up for a lifetime of THAT?! Sounds AWESOME, right?

Of course it doesn't. Romance is an idea, which makes it a noun, a feeling, a thing. Love is what you DO...as DCTalk once sang, love is a VERB. So we buy the lie about romance, thinking that's the ideal version of love. But when it comes time to LOVE, to actually DO...and we find out that love is NOT romance, roughly 50% of people find out that being romantic isn't enough to actually LOVE, and another marriage fails.

Romance is what you create because YOU WANT. You want, "need," that other person in your life. So you create romance to win them over.

Love is what you do, because THEY NEED. They need something, and you do the providing for that need, because you don't want them to have unmet needs. To be loved in return is no different, your partner equally thinking of YOUR need, and wanting to provide for you.

Christ doesn't romance us. He doesn't woo us or seduce us...He loves because we need, and He can provide for our need if we are willing to give ourselves to Him. THAT'S our model of love.

In the end, all romance does is lead you to the bedroom. Nice, but not sustainable. Also, far too much work for far too little reward. (Seriously, getting laid doesn't actually require romance, but in a day and age where people can barely distinguish 'being loved' from 'making love,' well...) Love leads to pain and sacrifice, but the comfort of knowing you aren't alone, and that someone is going to be with you when your life is hardest, when times are darkest, when anyone one else would abandon you.

Do I believe romance exists? Sure. I also believe that Twinkies exist. But I also know better than to eat nothing but Twinkies and expect healthy results...

sounds like you have some experience in this, perhaps Im just naive but I believe in true love and deep romance.

 

[arwen-undomiel]

Yup- but no knight stuff hahahahahahaha HA! Lol.
Romance means different things to different people.

Love languages can be applied here- find ways to romance someone thru theirs (in and outside of marriage)
Try to keep things lively in the bedroom in a marriage- communicate

 

[Tinkerbell725]

Romance is the icing on the cake while true love is the cake...love is spelled...T.I.M.E.

 

[Lynx]

Ever see something you know he or she will like - doesn't have to be a major thing like a new sports car or something, just a bottle of perfume or a certain brand of snack cake or something - and you get it and wrap it up and give it to him or her as a present?

"Oh nice. What's the occasion?"

"Because it's Thursday. Happy Thursday!"

 

[zeroturbulence]

I'm waiting for a woman to romance me.

View attachment 89795

 

[kayem77]

I believe in romance. I think romance looks different to everybody though. What is romantic to me may be stupid or cheesy to someone else, and viceversa.