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Christian Singles Forum

Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: Alternative to bars and clubs?

  1. #1
    Senior Member acesneverwin's Avatar
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    Default Alternative to bars and clubs?

    I can see why they are popular for hooking up... just would prefer to do it elsewhere. Though after a few drinks I guess I'd fit right in. Before I go though any better places? I'm bored. I know Christians always look down on these kinds of things but never seem to have any better alternatives. Ideas?
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Bored? Did you say BORED?!

    Come on over dude, give me a hand with all these music projects I have running!


    Sorry, couldn't pass it up... Okay, serious answer - you have two problems. One, you are not imaginative enough to find things to fill your time, hence you are bored. Two, you seem to be looking for a place to "hook up" which is a terrible primary reason to go somewhere.

    Fortunately the solution to both problems is in one answer. Find something to put your life into, something you are passionate about. Music, painting, sculpture, snowboarding, martial arts, whatever you feel is worth the time you spend on it. When you find something to pour your life into you will probably find someone to share your life with.
    "Do you sing at church?"
    "Yes I sing at church. And I sing at work. And I sing at home... and in the car... at the supermarket... at Wal-Mart..."

  3. #3
    Senior Member butterfly712's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Find a hobby,something that you really enjoy doing,it could be anything that you love to do.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member djness's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    I can see why they are popular for hooking up... just would prefer to do it elsewhere. Though after a few drinks I guess I'd fit right in. Before I go though any better places? I'm bored. I know Christians always look down on these kinds of things but never seem to have any better alternatives. Ideas?
    Bored is the least of your issues.
    Ho11y, sassylady and butterfly712 like this.

  5. #5
    Senior Member acesneverwin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Bored? Did you say BORED?!

    Come on over dude, give me a hand with all these music projects I have running!


    Sorry, couldn't pass it up... Okay, serious answer - you have two problems. One, you are not imaginative enough to find things to fill your time, hence you are bored. Two, you seem to be looking for a place to "hook up" which is a terrible primary reason to go somewhere.

    Fortunately the solution to both problems is in one answer. Find something to put your life into, something you are passionate about. Music, painting, sculpture, snowboarding, martial arts, whatever you feel is worth the time you spend on it. When you find something to pour your life into you will probably find someone to share your life with.


    I have to admit that was a pretty good answer... I want a girl to go do stuff with. Everyone else is married... Got plenty of stuff I would really like to spend my time on but usually involves traveling two hours away in any direction. A long trip like this is better with friends and while I do these things sometimes, they have families so can't go out to these places as often as I'd like... and typically not much fun alone (I've done that too and that's nice but couldn't go a lone all the time). No fun to dirtbike in the desert, 4x4 in the mountains, or go swimming in the ocean by yourself.

    But, I concede that was a good answer. I don't have something I can pour my life into and I aint getting any younger so figure I could pour it into a family someday which is why I'm more prone to looking for places to hook up and hang out and get a little tipsy and see who I meet and where it goes. Primary, yes... but... anyway.

  6. #6
    1still_waters
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    I can tell I'm an American. I saw the thread title on the main page of CC. My initial reaction, "Bars and clubs work great for self defense."

    There are many places to meet women. Go to most any place open to the public and you can find them. Keep it moral of course.

  7. #7
    Ho11y
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Quote Originally Posted by acesneverwin View Post
    [/FONT][/COLOR]

    I have to admit that was a pretty good answer... I want a girl to go do stuff with. Everyone else is married... Got plenty of stuff I would really like to spend my time on but usually involves traveling two hours away in any direction. A long trip like this is better with friends and while I do these things sometimes, they have families so can't go out to these places as often as I'd like... and typically not much fun alone (I've done that too and that's nice but couldn't go a lone all the time). No fun to dirtbike in the desert, 4x4 in the mountains, or go swimming in the ocean by yourself.

    But, I concede that was a good answer. I don't have something I can pour my life into and I aint getting any younger so figure I could pour it into a family someday which is why I'm more prone to looking for places to hook up and hang out and get a little tipsy and see who I meet and where it goes. Primary, yes... but... anyway.
    What a super place to look for a girlfriend. I hear drunk girls make the best wifey material.

  8. #8
    Senior Member cinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Quote Originally Posted by acesneverwin View Post
    [/FONT][/COLOR]

    I have to admit that was a pretty good answer... I want a girl to go do stuff with. Everyone else is married... Got plenty of stuff I would really like to spend my time on but usually involves traveling two hours away in any direction. A long trip like this is better with friends and while I do these things sometimes, they have families so can't go out to these places as often as I'd like... and typically not much fun alone (I've done that too and that's nice but couldn't go a lone all the time). No fun to dirtbike in the desert, 4x4 in the mountains, or go swimming in the ocean by yourself.

    But, I concede that was a good answer. I don't have something I can pour my life into and I aint getting any younger so figure I could pour it into a family someday which is why I'm more prone to looking for places to hook up and hang out and get a little tipsy and see who I meet and where it goes. Primary, yes... but... anyway.
    See if you can find and join a club that does things you like to do in your area. You will have a good way to meet people socially without any pressure to choose someone to be interested in by the end of the get together. Nor will anyone necessarily be expecting you to spend the night with them afterward ( such expectations are a definite possibility if you start flirting with girls in bars). I joined a monthly board gaming group in a town an hour away from me and I really enjoyed it even if I didn't meet Mr. Perfect or Mr. Right.

    Seriously also read through proverbs, all those warnings against immoral and sensual women, seductresses, and adulterous wives. A good woman is a blessing from God, but you are so so so much better off alone than with a wrong woman. So volunteer, get involved in church activities and community activities. Find clubs, take classes, let people know you're thinking you might be ready to meet a good woman you could settle down with. But please don't make the mistake of thinking that fooling around with some girl you meet at a bar or club and seeing how it goes is going to be a path to a healthy and stable relationship.
    seoulsearch and Charcoal like this.
    When you do love a thing, its gladness is a reason for loving it, and its sadness a reason for loving it more. - GK Chesterton

    The true definition of love is sacrifice.

    Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling. - Prov 20:3

  9. #9
    Senior Member acesneverwin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ho11y View Post
    What a super place to look for a girlfriend. I hear drunk girls make the best wifey material.
    Ya, I know right? =) Throw enough mud at the wall something is bound to stick... =P

    Sorry guys I was just frustrated. I'm not really the type to hit up a bar for that reason... Just when you want to be doing stuff and there's nothing around, they seem like the only local options that are there with the intent of meeting people and loosening up a bit. Sure girls are everywhere but "Hey lets go chat up girls in the cereal isle of the supermarket"... that doesn't really motivate me to get in the car.

    Joining a club or class are good ideas but they've really got nothing I'm interested in around here. Believe me, I've wasted whole days looking for stuff like that and come up with nothing. Like I said, classes for everything I'm interested in are over 2 hours away. Skydiving, surfing, free diving, performance driving, etc... Even had an interest in dance but all the dance classes they got around here are definitely not what I'm looking for either. Also like and have an interest in theatrical and special effects make up but not a useful or practical talent outside of hollywood and nothing like that around here anyway that I've found. Can't bartend with my work schedule and tried bar tending school but even that was 2 hours away... and after you learn the basics, there's really no reason to go back...

    Tried meetups.com but that wasnt even very helpful. Guess could check that again IDK...

  10. #10
    Senior Member Searching4Truth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Coffee shops? *shrugs*
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    "In Memory of When I Cared."

  11. #11
    Senior Member Roh_Chris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Quote Originally Posted by acesneverwin View Post
    Ya, I know right? =) Throw enough mud at the wall something is bound to stick... =P

    Sorry guys I was just frustrated. I'm not really the type to hit up a bar for that reason... Just when you want to be doing stuff and there's nothing around, they seem like the only local options that are there with the intent of meeting people and loosening up a bit. Sure girls are everywhere but "Hey lets go chat up girls in the cereal isle of the supermarket"... that doesn't really motivate me to get in the car.

    Joining a club or class are good ideas but they've really got nothing I'm interested in around here. Believe me, I've wasted whole days looking for stuff like that and come up with nothing. Like I said, classes for everything I'm interested in are over 2 hours away. Skydiving, surfing, free diving, performance driving, etc... Even had an interest in dance but all the dance classes they got around here are definitely not what I'm looking for either. Also like and have an interest in theatrical and special effects make up but not a useful or practical talent outside of hollywood and nothing like that around here anyway that I've found. Can't bartend with my work schedule and tried bar tending school but even that was 2 hours away... and after you learn the basics, there's really no reason to go back...

    Tried meetups.com but that wasnt even very helpful. Guess could check that again IDK...

    Sounds like your place is quite far from whatever you love doing. Also, from what I've understood you don't enjoy your company much. (Correct me if I'm wrong).

    Enjoying your company is most important. That's the best solution to fighting off boredom and feelings of loneliness. Since you are into active sports, you could push yourself to train for something. Maybe a marathon, or cross-country skiing, or any activity that can be done by one person. Secondly, if you feel like you want to meet people you should travel. Do a road trip by yourself. I have done road trips by myself and it was awesome! There is nothing like driving to a new city, staying at a hotel and then exploring the city by yourself. You will meet a lot of people and learn new things. You only need to pack the basic essentials before embarking on a trip. And you will come back refreshed and energetic.

  12. #12
    Senior Member maxwel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    Maybe you could do something really crazy... like ummm....
    pray?

    Maybe God has some thoughts on the matter that He'd be happy to share with you?
    Charcoal likes this.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Alternative to bars and clubs?

    The best way to meet someone? Go where people aren't very picky. Either certain internet sites or physical locations. There's lots of people looking to meet someone.

    Want to meet someone you won't regret in 24 hours? Stop looking. SERIOUSLY. The best people I've met in my life - bros, friends, even the best people I've dated... I wasn't looking. Whenever I am at peace with my single status, I project the self confidence that allows me to meet the women I want to be with. Whenever I am desperate for "even just a ho-hum friend," all but the worst sorts are ready to run from me. My closest friends came along when I wasn't looking for a friend and as for dating...I had stopped looking, focused in on what I needed to be doing (work, kids, church, caring for me ...just not in that order) and BAM, it seems I've met someone.

    My serious recommendation is decide what is most important in your life - Star Wars, live music, serving others, Comic books, MUD's, 'froading... whatever it is... and Invest in that. At the same time Pray regularly, including the occasional prayer for God to grow you into who He wants you to be.

    If you decide what you want is a civic minded Christian gal... Dude.. there are some lookers out there with High standards that you CAN live up to. instead of going to Comic con, playing minecraft 16 hours a day, building a hot rod, or stalking a Monster Buck 24/7, Volunteer somewhere. What's that, you go to a small church and can't meet singles there? Find your local food bank, or other civic organization. Start with a twice a month commitment, do it for 3 months. If you like it, do it more. If you really like it, stick with it... you will eventually meet someone through something like this. Maybe its another volunteer, or maybe it's "oh, he's got such a good hear, i want to set him up with my niece." Thing is, if you want to hunt ducks, go to the pond. If you want to hunt bucks, go to the woods. If you want to hunt lions, go to the zoo (& take your nikon, not your long gun)...but if you want to take home God's Lamb...go where His work is being done.

    Where did I meet the woman that I am so enamored with? Cub Scouts. We're both single parents trying to fill our kids with positive influences. She doesn't go to the same kind of church as I do, but we can sort that out... the point is, My priorities are serving God and raising good kids, and I found someone with the same priorities by focusing on what mattered most to me.
    Last edited by Charcoal; October 11th, 2014 at 02:45 PM. Reason: wall of text. added some spacing
    seoulsearch likes this.

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