Christian Contradictions I Love! (Who Knows The Most About Marriage...)

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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#1
Hello, fellow singles!

This thread is inspired by a sincere, well-meaning thread by a highly respected poster here in singles that asked what advice formerly married people could give to singles regarding past mistakes and learned lessons.

Another married user then declared that hearing such views would be pointless, seeing as such people are all "failures at marriage."

Here's what I don't understand: I've seen some divorced people here say that singles here can't speak with any credible knowledge or understanding because they've never been married.

Now we have a view from a married person that formerly married people have nothing of value to say because they've totally bombed God's principles for marriage.


Seriously.

If single people can't talk about marriage because they haven't been married, and those who were married can't talk about marriage because they've flunked the test, WHO IN HEE HAW IS allowed to share anything about their views of marriage? If this is the case, why do we even have a Singles Forum at all? Why not just have a "Married People Telling Singles About Marriage" forum?

Now, I give nothing but utter respect to all married couples. But, for the ones who want to establish themselves as authorities, I ask only one thing: BRING YOUR SPOUSE WITH YOU AND COUNSEL US AS A COUPLE. And please, let us ask you honest questions, because I have known many couples who will back each other in public by telling everyone how incredibly blessed their marriage is.

But the minute you separate them for any amount of time and start to talk to them individually and they aren't able to look at/confirm with each other what answer they want to give publicly... You find out things may not be so rosy.

Please, if you're going to tell us that you're the only ones who can credibly speak about marriage... At least give us what's real.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
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#2
I would personally love to see the Married People Who Believe Formerly Married People Can't Speak About Marriage Because They Are Failures debate all the Divorced People Who Think Singles Can't Talk About Marriage Because They Have No Experience over who is most qualified to "teach" the rest of us about marriage.

And for the rest of us who are standing by, afraid to say anything because surely we will be condemned either way... Who do you think makes a better expert on marriage here in the Singles Forum?

So many parallels... Where to start? I'm thinking of Plants Vs. Zombies, Aliens Vs. Predator, Superman Vs. Batman, and my personal favorite, The Human Torch (Chris Evans) Vs. Captain America (Chris Evans.)

(Christians Vs. Christians... Who Has The Most Authority to Teach/Take Authority Over Other Christians?)
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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#3
What a bunch of who ha, not you Kim, but the nay sayers you're talking about.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#4
That's it, I'm stepping up as THE Authority on Marriage!

...because I've been married twice...
And...because I'm...uh...married now? And...oh! I'm also a Christian, so add all that together, and ta-da! I know best.






Seriously, I'm with Kim on this- who the heck CAN talk about marriage?! I've been attacked more than once myself for stating not even an opinion, but my own experience, regarding marriage. Soo...yeah, either the very word "marriage" (and all variations thereof) should be banned from use in the Single's Forum, or else these people who know everything there is to know about marriage need to step up and start making some threads to educate everyone else.

I'll go sit over there ------>
and wait for these threads.



I could be there a while, anyone got a book I can borrow?
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#5
I consider this an amazing opportunity to educate the ignorant. Because believing that there is nothing to be learned through failure (whether ours or someone else's) is indeed sadly ignorant.

But since they've never experienced what we have, how can they understand that? Forgive them, for they know not what speweth forth from their mouths... I certainly didn't, when I was where they are now. Unfortunate situations change how we think... and I'm grateful for that new knowledge regardless of how painful it was. I've grown. Thank you Lord.



P.S. I claim the right to rant again later if I need to.
:p
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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#6
That post you're referring to Kim sounds like he is right from the Westboro Baptist church.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
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#7
Hello, fellow singles!

I've seen some divorced people here say that singles here can't speak with any credible knowledge or understanding because they've never been married.

Simple answer. God does not choose the qualified, he qualifies the chosen.

Apostle Paul was not married and was anointed by God to address the subject of marriage more than anyone else. Therefore, the thing you are being told is false and is worldly wisdom.

For those of you that choose to idolize Paul as more than a man, I ask that you not reply to this.
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
36,530
13,098
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#8
Simple answer. God does not choose the qualified, he qualifies the chosen.

Apostle Paul was not married and was anointed by God to address the subject of marriage more than anyone else. Therefore, the thing you are being told is false and is worldly wisdom.

For those of you that choose to idolize Paul as more than a man, I ask that you not reply to this.
i love what you said there - God qualifies the chosen! it's so true! look at Moses, and Ezekiel, Simon Peter, and so many others - it's the power of God in us that works good, not the power of us in Him.

but off topic - and it's not a really important point - but the scriptures don't tell us whether Paul was ever married or not. it was a rule that the Sanhedrin had to be married men, and we know Paul was a 'pharisee of the pharisees' probably on his way to a seat in the Sanhedrin as Saul, if he wasn't already there. so there's conjecture that he may have been married and his wife passed away, or left him at his conversion, etc. he certainly wasn't married when he wrote 1 & 2 Corinthians. Paul declared there his celibacy, but that doesn't necessarily mean he knew nothing about marriage, in fact he talks as though he's no stranger to it; the traditions of the Jews were that priests should be married, for the very reasons Paul encourages us to be - to avoid temptation. can't be dogmatic about it, but i sort of lean toward the opinion that he was a widower.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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#9
Well shoot... I saw the "Christian Contradictions" and I thought it was going to be something like the religious versions of "he who hesitates is lost" versus "look before you leap" which of course leaves you at square one. For example, when a person is praying at the altar and people are praying with him, and a person on one side is telling him "just hold on" and the person on the other side is telling him "just let go."

Now that I've read the topic... all I can think of is a cartoon where this husband and wife went on a talk show to "work out their differences." The talk show host asked the audience "Anyone here have any advice for this couple?" Everyone in the whole audience raised their hands. "Anyone with a successful marriage?" Everyone sat down...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
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Tennessee
#10
I would personally love to see the Married People Who Believe Formerly Married People Can't Speak About Marriage Because They Are Failures debate all the Divorced People Who Think Singles Can't Talk About Marriage Because They Have No Experience over who is most qualified to "teach" the rest of us about marriage.

And for the rest of us who are standing by, afraid to say anything because surely we will be condemned either way... Who do you think makes a better expert on marriage here in the Singles Forum?

So many parallels... Where to start? I'm thinking of Plants Vs. Zombies, Aliens Vs. Predator, Superman Vs. Batman, and my personal favorite, The Human Torch (Chris Evans) Vs. Captain America (Chris Evans.)

(Christians Vs. Christians... Who Has The Most Authority to Teach/Take Authority Over Other Christians?)
My first marriage ended in divorce and my second marriage ended in death. Now, after reading your opening paragraph I am not sure that I fit the stated criteria.

This is an extremely amusing post. I am surmising that perhaps I would be in the Plants vs. Zombies grouping, hmm...plant or zombie?

I will toss a coin.

It came up heads.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
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#11
I also want to reiterate the fact that I HIGHLY respect married people. We have so many wonderful married people here who regularly visit our humble little Singles Forum with humor, compassion, and fellowship.

What I don't agree with are those who condemn the single and formerly married and/or set themselves up as something better than others because of their marital status. Thank you, Markum and Posthuman, for bringing up the Apostle Paul. I don't think a better example could have been given in this case.

I often wonder why God did not include such details in the Bible. Would people act a little differently, slower to judge and more willing to show grace... if they knew that Paul himself had once been married?

I have also read that because Jesus told Mary that Mark would be now be her son (and therefore take care of her), Joseph had most likely passed away. For how long, we have no way of telling. Would people be a little bit less hesitant to criticize single parents if they knew that Jesus Himself had been part of a single-parent household?

Although we can't know for sure, I love little details like this.

For me, it brings God just a little bit closer... reminding me that He truly understands the things we've been through.
 

PopClick

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
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#12
I am surmising that perhaps I would be in the Plants vs. Zombies grouping, hmm...plant or zombie?

I will toss a coin.

It came up heads.
I believe it came up... Braaaaaaains!
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
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#13
To make my point, let me switch the subject to, say...elderly people.

I am not a senior citizen yet (regardless of what my kids say), but I hope to be some day. Yet, I know several old people. I worship with them. I sometimes visit with them and bake them treats. I love to listen to their stories. I said goodbye to my favorite elderly person in January, who, as I have shared before, was one of the "Rosie the Riveter" factory gals during WWII.

A caregiver will know how to manage an elderly person's medications if needed, run errands for them, and generally take care of their needs.

A medical professional will know how to take their vitals, will prescribe needed medications, and will be the best person in the treatment and prevention of the many diseases that may be found among the elderly more than younger folk, such as shingles, various forms of dementia, arthritis, etc..

An adult daughter or son may feel protective, maybe even overprotective of his or her elderly parent, as they have seen the parent lose more and more independence over time.

The grandchild of an elderly person may see this loving grandmother that sings big band era songs while baking cookies and nut bars, or the cool grandpa that teaches his granddaughter how to shoot pool.

The elderly person is going to have the first hand experience of being old. And still, his or her experience is going to be different from others his or her age.

So there you go. Different perspectives - and all of them totally valid.

I think it is important to not allow our own arrogance to rule out an opinion just because it is not coming from the perspective that we may want it to. It may still be relevant and valid. Still, I appreciate it when posters say that "this is coming from a single parent," or "I've been married 37 years and..." or "Never been married, but..." or "widowed after 13 years," etc.. Seeing things from a different perspective is what learning is about, and we can get a lot of insight from those who have walked in different shoes.
 
C

Charcoal

Guest
#14
(great thread, just not much for me to add to it at the moment)

I'm inclined to think that the best advice is sometimes the advice that you choose not to take. That is, the person saying something that you can identify as false or unhelpful in the situation, and being able to choose to not do that one thing can help you figure out what to do.
 
Sep 29, 2014
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#15
Apostle Paul was not married and was anointed by God to address the subject of marriage more than anyone else. Therefore, the thing you are being told is false and is worldly wisdom.

For those of you that choose to idolize Paul as more than a man, I ask that you not reply to this.
Paul's words are more than a man's words because they are inspired by God and part of scripture. And, no husband and wife who keeps Paul's marital instructions will have a marriage that fails. Marriages fail because one spouse, probably both, of a marriage refuse to keep biblical values.
 
Sep 29, 2014
347
1
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#16
I often wonder why God did not include such details in the Bible. Would people act a little differently, slower to judge and more willing to show grace... if they knew that Paul himself had once been married?
If Paul had been married, he would have been useless to God.

Would people be a little bit less hesitant to criticize single parents if they knew that Jesus Himself had been part of a single-parent household?
Where are single parents being criticized? It's fornication that's criticized. And, Jesus wasn't raised in a single-parent household.

For me, it brings God just a little bit closer... reminding me that He truly understands the things we've been through.
Your sinful god might be closer to you than the true God, but I'll stick with the true God.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
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#17
Throughout the Bible, there are many instances where simple people have been used by God to do great things. Think of Joseph, Moses, Samuel, David, Gideon and so many more! Were they 'qualified' to do the work God chose them to do? No way! But God accomplished His purpose through these people. Similarly, the Bible teaches us many valuable lessons through God's creation. Solomon used the ants, the locusts, the spiders, etc. to teach us lessons. Jesus also used birds and lilies to teach us lessons.

What this means is that you do not need 'qualifications' to advice somebody on something. Yes it is true that having before-hand experience would help you understand their situation. But if God wants to use you to advice somebody concerning a situation you've never experienced before, nobody can question that! One lesson I am trying to learn is this - no matter who it is, just listen to what they have to say.

Speaking of 'qualifications'...




(Sorry seoulsearch, I couldn't pass that opportunity. :p)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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#18
If Paul had been married, he would have been useless to God.
Say what?

Okay I know about I Corinthians 7:32 et al, but...

Say what? Useless?
 
C

Charcoal

Guest
#19
If Paul had been married, he would have been useless to God.
I see from your profile you are married. Draw your own conclusions.





Where are single parents being criticized?
Everywhere. Both in an out of the church. Especially here in the Bible belt. As a single father, I face a whole different kind of criticizing, only part of which is that often people assume that when I am with my kids they are Visiting me instead of me being a Full Time Father. Also, as a single father I am troubled that you are so blind to how prevalent this is - Even in a country with such astronomical rate - Troubled that you would fail to notice the injustice of demoralizing the very people that Christ's church needs to support. The New Testament gives very few direct instructions, but mostly teaches us to handle all things in love. One direct instruction that we are given is to care for the widows and orphans. In the modern framework of things, can you not see how this is directly applicable to caring for the children and remaining parent in single parent households? If not, I suggest you try to re-frame that with more handling all things in love.
Everywhere single parents face some kind of judgement and opposition, except in the hearts of those who love others the way God intended.


It's fornication that's criticized.
I think we are all clear on Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery. Anyone not clear on that can post in the Bible Studies forum for clarification, I'm sure there's plenty more willing to explain it there.

And, Jesus wasn't raised in a single-parent household.
No one said he was. It was put forth as a possibility that Jesus's mother was a widow by the time that he was about to die on the cross for the sins of the world. This was never said to be "Gospel Truth" it was merely a supposition for the sake of an intellectual exercise for those who were willing to learn from the possibility and through that better gain the ability to love God's children regardless of the blows that life may have dealt them or that they may have dealt themselves.

Your sinful god might be closer to you than the true God, but I'll stick with the true God.
God, in truth, is Love. May you grow, sir, in your ability to love.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
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#20
Say what?

Okay I know about I Corinthians 7:32 et al, but...

Say what? Useless?

Lynx, where did you put that role of barbed wires after we repaired the fence? I think there's a breach.