Deeper than you thought?

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
I can be so superficial sometimes. How about you? Do you ever form opinions about someone based upon what little you see and/or hear? We probably all do it from time to time. People are doing it to us everyday too, right? Judging us and filing us away into little categories in the mind. Filtering. Profiling. We've all done it.

And then comes that moment when someone...even someone you may have known for quite some time...really opens up and you feel so stupid for never having considered that person might be capable of such tremendous depth, passion and emotion.

I wonder how often we really do that. Fail to communicate effectively with even those closest to us. Sad, isn't it?

Do you think our digital society can make this better or worse?
(Realizing how easy it can be to OVERSHARE at times...*grimacing at some Facebook posts I've seen*)

Does this forum help you communicate your deepest thoughts and feelings? Share your faith and/or concerns?

How important is communication to you?

How important is communication in any relationship you may have?

Do you want to be more attentive? More understanding and/or compassionate as to what makes folks tick or the impact of life upon them?
care and share.jpg

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Now where did I put my gummybears??? :p:cool::rolleyes:​
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#2
Aug 28, 2012
19,211
2,547
113
#2
Something I truly find amazing about the forums is that I can reveal my hearts most inner thoughts. I have always been able to speak my heart much better in writing or a post than in person im not sure why:confused: But the thing about the forum is that people also express their hearts better because you are safe behind a computer screen, while in person it may not be as easy.

But yes people are always profiling always seeing those little things about you and then classifying you from what they see or hear, and I know first hand because my entire school life because of my looks I was seen as a loser or nerd but when they got to know me i befriended them easily because that's just one of the gifts God gave me. I can easily befriend just about any type of person even the bad people.

But subconsciously we all do this without meaning too, even the most loving person deep down has this issue because we live in a fleshly body that naturally harbors sin and its human nature to judge others sadly. But this is why I always look deep inside myself and because I notice myself doing this I rebuke myself and then it goes away.
I see an overweight person and in my subconscious I judge them I say boy im glad im not like that then I say hey who do you think you are? you have no right to judge that person you dont even know them dont even know their struggles how dare you even think that way.

This is the daily thinking of Blains mind I search deep inside myself and i dont usually like what I find but luckil;y rebuking myself and remembering to be love not only makes the thoughts go away but I then see them out of love. Its actually quite amazing
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#3
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#3
Just touching on one of the thoughts from the OP, I find it refreshing when someone goes against their cultural stereotypes and is free to be himself/herself.

I once saw this black dude in his early 20's driving through the hood. He was listening to the Kinks. That made my day.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#4
Mar 13, 2014
41,301
16,296
113
69
Tennessee
#4
Blain said:
Something I truly find amazing about the forums is that I can reveal my hearts most inner thoughts. I have always been able to speak my heart much better in writing or a post than in person im not sure why:confused: But the thing about the forum is that people also express their hearts better because you are safe behind a computer screen, while in person it may not be as easy.

But yes people are always profiling always seeing those little things about you and then classifying you from what they see or hear, and I know first hand because my entire school life because of my looks I was seen as a loser or nerd but when they got to know me i befriended them easily because that's just one of the gifts God gave me. I can easily befriend just about any type of person even the bad people.

But subconsciously we all do this without meaning too, even the most loving person deep down has this issue because we live in a fleshly body that naturally harbors sin and its human nature to judge others sadly. But this is why I always look deep inside myself and because I notice myself doing this I rebuke myself and then it goes away.
I see an overweight person and in my subconscious I judge them I say boy im glad im not like that then I say hey who do you think you are? you have no right to judge that person you dont even know them dont even know their struggles how dare you even think that way.

This is the daily thinking of Blains mind I search deep inside myself and i dont usually like what I find but luckil;y rebuking myself and remembering to be love not only makes the thoughts go away but I then see them out of love. Its actually quite amazing
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The one thing that I enjoy most in life is conversation, verbally, visually, written or implied. For me it is easier to first express my thought in the written form and to verbally discuss later. I have spent most of my adult life in introspective thought. You may or may not like what you see but once you have discovered something about yourself you are now in a position to plan and effect positive change in the person that you are. From my observations I would say that perception usually takes precedence over truth. People believe what they choose to believe regardless or despite what the truth is. Reality is often an illusion.

You are a fascinating case study and I sincerely appreciate your sharing of what it is that makes you tick. It makes me wonder about myself at times and that is a good thing.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#5
Aug 28, 2012
19,211
2,547
113
#5
tourist said:
The one thing that I enjoy most in life is conversation, verbally, visually, written or implied. For me it is easier to first express my thought in the written form and to verbally discuss later. I have spent most of my adult life in introspective thought. You may or may not like what you see but once you have discovered something about yourself you are now in a position to plan and effect positive change in the person that you are. From my observations I would say that perception usually takes precedence over truth. People believe what they choose to believe regardless or despite what the truth is. Reality is often an illusion.

You are a fascinating case study and I sincerely appreciate your sharing of what it is that makes you tick. It makes me wonder about myself at times and that is a good thing.
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I find your views to be very accurate. The thing is a lot of people dont like to go deep inside their selves and face their demons and why would they its very scary and is hard to face.
I am someone who likes to look at things with a deeper view and understanding especially myself, I search my heart every day and its not easy. I was told that I would make a good scientist if I applied myself because I guess im some sort of deep thinker I question why something is or why it exists and if so what created that then what created that which is why I saw there is a flaw in the big bang theory because no matter how you look at it something cannot exist without being created thats the world we live in. everything that does or did exist was created so what apparently existed by itself which I believe was two atoms that suddenly and rapidly created the explosion could not have just existed by itself or at least not scientifically.

The thing about science is that for it to be a fact it has to be proven not simply believed and not even the most scientific and smartest scientists have been able to prove how those things existed by themselves. and ty for the nice words
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#6
#6
I think we are wired to quickly assess people, often when we first converse with or meet someone we can instinctively know if we are going to get along with them, sometimes we do get it wrong though. As Christians though we are called not to judge others.

I find myself agreeing with Blain yet again lol. I find it so much easier to express myself with the printed word, it's easy to go back and correct something you have written or place a smiley if you are not sure how something will come across. I really cannot talk in group situations, I can't find the words I need and I use my hands to cover parts of my face when I speak because I'm so self-conscious - I hate eyes on me or drawing attention to myself in any way.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#7
#7
CatHerder said:
Just touching on one of the thoughts from the OP, I find it refreshing when someone goes against their cultural stereotypes and is free to be himself/herself.

I once saw this black dude in his early 20's driving through the hood. He was listening to the Kinks. That made my day.
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I know what you mean. :) Your post reminds me of one of my favorite videos. :D

[video=youtube;Czzy5RXMVRo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czzy5RXMVRo[/video]
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#8
#8
I totally agree with those of you who've said you express yourselves better in writing.

I think that may be a good thing, as we are supposed to weigh our words carefully, huh? :)
 
B

BugeyeSTi

Guest
#9
#9
I will admit that I profile and classify people with little to no time actually spent getting to know them. I have struggled with being accepted and being good enough to others, so growing up my way of coping was to classify everyone in a different category, so if/when they did reject me/hurt me then it wouldn't be as bad because they were "different" (I can also be very judgmental, but that's another topic for later). They rejected me because they are different, or they just don't understand me. I never had anyone share struggles with me growing up and I certainly didn't share any of my struggles with anyone, so for me it was a major eye opening experience when I started seeing other people talking about their problems. Getting to know people on a deeper level has been a new adventure; scary and comforting all at the same time.


The Lord has used CC to teach me various things, and one of the ones that has impacted me the most is that it's Ok, in fact it's encouraged, to share problems and bear each others burdens. I am still learning in this area, but I feel more comfortable sharing my struggles here because I know that others care, that others want to help me out, and that others have faced similar fears/struggles.
 
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C

Charcoal

Guest
#10
#10
I find that making assumptions can work against me in other ways, too.

How often have I compared my internal life to the public life of another and come up short? Can't win at that game.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
24,895
8,156
113
#11
H

Ho11y

Guest
#12
#12
I profile everyone i meet, then i put them in category's. These category's are based off both Women and Men I've known/know.
For example. If i talk to a woman that says or does something that reminds me of one of the people on my list. Then i automatically judge her and put her under the category of whatever woman she reminds me of. And from that i know to either stay away from her or it's OK for us to be friends.


I'm a terrible communicator. It's hard for me. On the forums here, i can take my time, figure out what i want to say and then attempt to put words to my thoughts. I use this as a kind of practice. In real life i would never say most of what i say on here. It's good for me to get some of these things out though. So i'm glad we have this kind of format to talk about things in.

I do want to be more compassionate to other people and what they're going through. I think it's important we empathize with others, listen and really hear what they're saying. I was always taught you didn't sit around and whine or cry about anything. No matter what it was, you just suck it up and keep moving forward. So i have little patience for those things. I'd rather be trying to figure out how to fix the situation. That's not a Christ like attitude though. I recognize that and i'm working on trying to be more compassionate.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#13
#13
Ho11y said:
{SNIP!}
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Holly, I just want to say to you how impressed I am with this response of yours. (And for those of you reading this in my sardonic tone of voice, please be assured that I am completely genuine here. No sardonism, no sarcasm.)

I don't know you particularly well, but what I HAVE learned of you, and what you and I have discussed here in there...TO ME, this feels like you being a little more open, a little more vulnerable than you've made yourself on the forum before, which is a pretty big sign of trust in the people here. (Which, as you know, we can bait others' trust easily and break it twice as easily when it comes to online interaction.)

I guess I'm always moved when I see a brother or sister lower their shields, even just a little, to bare a little of their soul to us...because most of us who have been hurt before often feel that exposing vulnerabilities can lead to someone else hurting us again. But as you point out...trying to change, trying to be more Christlike...that's the journey, that's the battle. In doing so, we have to expose those vulnerabilities...not necessarily to others, primarily to HIM, so that we can heal and grow.

Good for you, Holly. Yours was a testimony that uplifted me this morning.



*considered slipping in a joke about Nodding My Head...but then decided to keep it serious and didn't...until now*
 
H

Ho11y

Guest
#14
#14
Shouryu said:
Holly, I just want to say to you how impressed I am with this response of yours. (And for those of you reading this in my sardonic tone of voice, please be assured that I am completely genuine here. No sardonism, no sarcasm.)

I don't know you particularly well, but what I HAVE learned of you, and what you and I have discussed here in there...TO ME, this feels like you being a little more open, a little more vulnerable than you've made yourself on the forum before, which is a pretty big sign of trust in the people here. (Which, as you know, we can bait others' trust easily and break it twice as easily when it comes to online interaction.)

I guess I'm always moved when I see a brother or sister lower their shields, even just a little, to bare a little of their soul to us...because most of us who have been hurt before often feel that exposing vulnerabilities can lead to someone else hurting us again. But as you point out...trying to change, trying to be more Christlike...that's the journey, that's the battle. In doing so, we have to expose those vulnerabilities...not necessarily to others, primarily to HIM, so that we can heal and grow.

Good for you, Holly. Yours was a testimony that uplifted me this morning.



*considered slipping in a joke about Nodding My Head...but then decided to keep it serious and didn't...until now*
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This last part made me laugh :D

And sincerely thank you Shour.... for all what you said here.
 
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