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Something deep within me, feels like, if it's a hat you put on, a persona you strap onto your back, a character trait you put on like a mask, if it's anything less than an organic outflow of your personality, then you're doing it wrong.
We have to be careful of putting on pre-designed, one size fits all, idealogical cookie cutters.
The "leadership" role can't become something that extinguishes our unique personality. Doing such will extinguish the flame of love that exists.
I know there is clearly an objective standard, but that standard has to grow out of the the uniqueness of the personality, and the relationship.
Maybe everything above seems like emotional nonsensical drivel without any clear direction. But that's how I feel on this topic. I'm so afraid of people trying to play some generic role at the expense of extinguishing the unique dynamics of their personality and relationship.
We have to be careful of putting on pre-designed, one size fits all, idealogical cookie cutters.
The "leadership" role can't become something that extinguishes our unique personality. Doing such will extinguish the flame of love that exists.
I know there is clearly an objective standard, but that standard has to grow out of the the uniqueness of the personality, and the relationship.
Maybe everything above seems like emotional nonsensical drivel without any clear direction. But that's how I feel on this topic. I'm so afraid of people trying to play some generic role at the expense of extinguishing the unique dynamics of their personality and relationship.
I think the answer lies somewhere in this scripture..
Ephesians 5:25-29 ESV:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
_________________________
"nourish and cherish"... words to live by.
Ephesians 5:25-29 ESV:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
_________________________
"nourish and cherish"... words to live by.
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J
I agree with Stilly. I can't see there being a magic formula. Seems akin to a fruit of the Spirit....something that develops by following the footsteps of Christ as closely as possible, led by the Holy Spirit. Something you can pray for....godly wisdom to make the best choices for yourself and your family. Surely God honors such humble requests. A wise wife does as well.
P.S. - From what I've seen, you're doing just fine. I think your precious, beloved Arlene would agree.
P.S. - From what I've seen, you're doing just fine. I think your precious, beloved Arlene would agree.
This reminds me of when a person is hailed as a hero for rushing into a situation and rescuing someone.
When interviewed as to why they did it they usually respond " I didn't think I just did it.''
To me this leadership question is the same.
Just be the leader.Be the one that spends your time in pursuit of God {Godly pursuits is a different thing}.
Be the initiator of prayers of fellowship.
Spend the time to know God and you will naturally have the maturity to lead.
I think Hebrews sort of backs that up.
When interviewed as to why they did it they usually respond " I didn't think I just did it.''
To me this leadership question is the same.
Just be the leader.Be the one that spends your time in pursuit of God {Godly pursuits is a different thing}.
Be the initiator of prayers of fellowship.
Spend the time to know God and you will naturally have the maturity to lead.
I think Hebrews sort of backs that up.
I think the answer lies somewhere in this scripture..
Ephesians 5:25-29 ESV:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
_________________________
"nourish and cherish"... words to live by.
Ephesians 5:25-29 ESV:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
_________________________
"nourish and cherish"... words to live by.
The best leaders are the ones you delight to follow. I have no question that watching Jesus in action that I would have been drawn to Him like pollen draws bees. He was a servant and yet the greatest leader. So the same when you know you are loved by the leader it makes it really easy to follow. There of course must be a close connection with God at all times. This type of leader I would be most willing to follow.
A
Depends on who needs to follow and who needs to lead at a given time. The roles may switch throughout a relationship.
My sister thought that her husband was supposed to be the spiritual leader of the family, but she came to realize she has to be the spiritual leader for the both of them right now. It was a role she never anticipated being in, but she is in it! Perhaps in time she will need his guidance as his relationships strengthens with God, but right now God is giving her the path for the two of them.
My sister thought that her husband was supposed to be the spiritual leader of the family, but she came to realize she has to be the spiritual leader for the both of them right now. It was a role she never anticipated being in, but she is in it! Perhaps in time she will need his guidance as his relationships strengthens with God, but right now God is giving her the path for the two of them.
I
You know.... I can seriously relate to this topic. I was in a relationship that started off God centred and slowly began to deteriorate... I found myself being the only one that would initiate conversations about God, the word and my spiritual walk and when I realised this, I decided to stop and see if he would initiate a conversation with me that is God centred. It never happened!
I am a pretty strong woman and often times I take the lead when I find that the other person is incapable of leading, and not knowing which direction we are both heading, scares me because I'm a planned out person. I found out that I can never be with someone who can't lead me or I can't learn from.
Leading to me, is having a vision, praying over that vision and sharing it with your partner. It is creating and maintaining a vision of the future, plans to get there, and initiation of those plans... Obviously with the support from your partner. Personally, I think a guy should lead(not all the time because we are all human and sometimes the woman needs to take charge to remind him of what he has already set out to do). A woman wants to feel a sense of security concerning the future of the relationship she is in. Placing God first and sharing thoughts, ideas and involving the other person in God's purpose for your life, is good leadership to me.
I am a pretty strong woman and often times I take the lead when I find that the other person is incapable of leading, and not knowing which direction we are both heading, scares me because I'm a planned out person. I found out that I can never be with someone who can't lead me or I can't learn from.
Leading to me, is having a vision, praying over that vision and sharing it with your partner. It is creating and maintaining a vision of the future, plans to get there, and initiation of those plans... Obviously with the support from your partner. Personally, I think a guy should lead(not all the time because we are all human and sometimes the woman needs to take charge to remind him of what he has already set out to do). A woman wants to feel a sense of security concerning the future of the relationship she is in. Placing God first and sharing thoughts, ideas and involving the other person in God's purpose for your life, is good leadership to me.
C
Just as the Bible charges husbands to be the loving head over the wife as Christ is the head of the church, I think that boyfriends should be Leading the charge in a relationship. Charging Towards holiness, Charging towards regular church attendance, Charging towards praying together, and Leading The Retreat from impropriety, or the appearance thereof.
I'm not uberly puritanical (Dost thou come to theses barn raisings often?), and my girlfriend and I have been out past one in the morning. I am, however, planting flags and staking claims in my relationship. Not in a creepy, sexist kind of way. In a anachronistic, old fashioned sort of way. The flags I plant are God's, and it is in His name that I lay claim to chastity, purity, respecting one another as well as Our Father... I've never had the privileged of being a spiritual leader in a relationship. In my marriage I was rejected when I tried to lead. Prior to my marriage, I was not sufficiently spiritually grounded to have the desire to follow God so boldly. Early on, I put my foot down and defined that my expectations for physical affection were that we would not engage ourselves in behavior fit only for married persons, but also that we would yield to whoever had the more conservative boundaries on that. I have persisted by striving at each step to be Genuine about my faith, and to share it at every opportunity. Before we ever dated, she saw me pray with my children. Now that we date, I would be remiss to not pray with her.
Fellas, I tell ya... Stand up and be a spiritual leader in your church and community. When a relationship comes your way, take the same stand. If she does not cotton to it, if she grouses about anything that you do in God's name... flee from her. (My first wife was a grouser, and that ended predictably.) If, however, she brightens up when you sincerely take a stand, planting God's flag as claim to your relationship, then you may very well have someone whom you may someday pledge confidently to honor the rest of your days.
Still is Right. It must come from within. It must come natural. It must be genuine.
Figure out how to honor God in your life, and then honoring God in your friendships, your relationships, and should God have such in store for you - your Marriage, will come natural.
I'm not uberly puritanical (Dost thou come to theses barn raisings often?), and my girlfriend and I have been out past one in the morning. I am, however, planting flags and staking claims in my relationship. Not in a creepy, sexist kind of way. In a anachronistic, old fashioned sort of way. The flags I plant are God's, and it is in His name that I lay claim to chastity, purity, respecting one another as well as Our Father... I've never had the privileged of being a spiritual leader in a relationship. In my marriage I was rejected when I tried to lead. Prior to my marriage, I was not sufficiently spiritually grounded to have the desire to follow God so boldly. Early on, I put my foot down and defined that my expectations for physical affection were that we would not engage ourselves in behavior fit only for married persons, but also that we would yield to whoever had the more conservative boundaries on that. I have persisted by striving at each step to be Genuine about my faith, and to share it at every opportunity. Before we ever dated, she saw me pray with my children. Now that we date, I would be remiss to not pray with her.
Fellas, I tell ya... Stand up and be a spiritual leader in your church and community. When a relationship comes your way, take the same stand. If she does not cotton to it, if she grouses about anything that you do in God's name... flee from her. (My first wife was a grouser, and that ended predictably.) If, however, she brightens up when you sincerely take a stand, planting God's flag as claim to your relationship, then you may very well have someone whom you may someday pledge confidently to honor the rest of your days.
Still is Right. It must come from within. It must come natural. It must be genuine.
Figure out how to honor God in your life, and then honoring God in your friendships, your relationships, and should God have such in store for you - your Marriage, will come natural.