Life as a single mom

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raisinghope

Guest
#1
I am a single mom, struggling with working, college and a custody battle. I am looking for advice from other single parents. anything can help :)
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#2
First of all, Welcome to CC. And welcome to the 'Mad House' a.k.a the Singles Forum.

I am not a single parent. But I can definitely pray for God to lead you through this difficult path. :)

Cheer up! Hang in there!


(P.S. Please don't feed the Lynx.)
 
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Charcoal

Guest
#3
There's a good few of us that are single parents. Even a few of us dads, raising our own. We know what it is like to juggle the rest of life while putting God first and our kids 2nd. Remember to take care of your own needs (and not too many of your wants) before taking care of the kiddo(s) - otherwise you will burn out your own flame and not be able to give your family what it needs.
Welcome to CC. As long as you don't try to pick up folks here, you'll probably fit right in (it's generally frowned upon, though there are some who have found love here when not looking).

My custody battle lasted 26 months.
Remember these things: Always lock your house and car, All The Time. (Then No One can plant anything. It happens.) Even if inadmissible, a magnetic GPS tracker on your car is CHEAP. Don't go anywhere your ex could use against you. Whatever it is, don''t say it in a text message or email, unless your lawyer and judge would look at it and be proud of you for saying it. Conversely, don't talk on the phone with your ex, tell him text or email only. You may trap him with his own words, and you will never have to wonder if he is recording the call to use against you. Keep an eye on your local/state court records public access information website - this can alert you to filings that you've not yet been served as well as let you know if the ex gets picked up for something. Make absolute certain you are fighting this for the sake of the child, not out of malice for his father. FORGIVE THE FATHER for whatever brought yall to this point...if you can cut that out of the situation and focus on the child, then you're ahead of the game. Remember that if your ex (or soon to be ex) is falling/has fallen away from Christ, or if they are an unbeliever, YOU have the responsibility to handle this bad situation with Christian Love. Don't be a doormat, but do be a Christian. The example you set in this situation may be what determines whether or not he ever gets his life right with Christ. It's a big deal. Treat it as such.

Again, welcome, sister.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#4
I raised my daughter alone the whole time she is now grown (34) out on her own responsible and well adjusted working and happy. It is a hard road being a single parent but a road worth traveling when there is love and determination to make it work. I don't regret the choices I made and being a single parent can be done.

God watched out for us that is for sure - even when I was not walking with Him He still took care of us as I look back at it I can see His protection and care for us the whole time. Please don't make some of my mistakes which was not staying close to God. Put Him first and talk to God about your problems lay them out before Him and ask His for His help. Make sure you continue to teach your children/child about God and His love for them. I did not always go to church and do this and my daughter questions if there is a God or not. I keep praying for her to come to know Jesus as I have.

Charcoal gave you excellent advise about communication with your ex. I did not have that worry as my daughters father was in the military from another country and we were not married. Praying for your situation.
 
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sassylady

Guest
#6
If a trusted person offers help with your kids, take it. I never had anybody to help. I have pretty much done everything for 10 years. God is your Husband and Provider; when there is no money, or not enough sleep, or not enough of anything else, acknowledge Him, praise Him and thank Him. He is and has everything you need and more. I have three children and make a very low wage, and we have never done without anything we have needed. My ex was extremely abusive so he lost all custody rights, and I never got the weekend or weeknight to myself occasionally. But I have always made sure my kids were taken care of first. Now they are grown and we are all very close and they have thanked me repeatedly for things I have done for them.
 
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Rush

Guest
#7
Hi :)

Not a single dad, but I was a child of a single parent. sassylady says some good wisdom. If people want to help and you trust them, let them :)
We were in part raised by another two families because they opened up their lives and hearts to us. We went to church together and they were just amazing. I'm 30 these days and I still think of these people as my family. They helped shape me and mould me into the person I am today. Their love and support was such an amazing gift of love to us :)

Bless you my sister. Seek prayer and guidance from people constantly and always. Never be afraid to be the recipient of prayer and wisdom :)

Much brotherly love
~Rush
 
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TearsofthePhoenix

Guest
#8
I am a single mom, struggling with working, college and a custody battle. I am looking for advice from other single parents. anything can help :)
After my first marriage I raised two girls on my own. It was so difficult. However after doing it for many years this is what I learned.

1.) Never bad mouth the other parent, no matter what. If the kids have questions that might make you want to say negative things, put it into his court by telling them to ask him.
2.) Remember that you are in the mother and father role for them. That means you need time for yourself too. Take it, even if its just locking the door and laying against it to read a chapter of a book.
3.) Keep routines, as best as you can, keep routines.
4.) Remember that daddy's house may be Disney land for them. Therefore he is the cooler, funner parent to be with.
5.) Take one day, every week, and for a couple of hours and just do something fun. I missed this step, my ex was always doing the fun while I was always doing the working and trying to keep things afloat. Take them skating, take them to laser-tag, take them to do stuff that is unusual or fun. This way they have memories of you being that fun parent too. If they are young, give them a movie night or a story night. Its these things they will treasure.
6.) If he's the one that left, just reassure them that you love them and that you aren't going anywhere. They often will be afraid that the other parent might leave as well. This is just as much an upheaval and strange trying time for them as much as yourself.

I hope some of this helps.
 
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Studymum

Guest
#9
Hi raisinghope, I am a single Mum (since Jan) to three great kids and know how it feels having to juggle, I am studying full time. When my ex husband and I separated we were very friendly but it has got worse and he has threatened to go for custody. The best advice I could give is to keep all emails texts etc and be the better person (even though it is bloody hard) the worst thing is when they start to have a go at the kids, making you look like the bad parent it has taken all my strength (thank you Lord) not to tell the kids my side and making him look bad. The kids come first!!!