Public Displays of Affection - Yea or Nay?

[Rachel20]

So India is in the middle of a storm right now, with a quirky campaign titled "Kiss of Love", which started out in Kerala against moral policing.

India is very conservative - public displays of affection are very much frowned upon. Basically we don't kiss and we don't tell - in public.


Several times "moral policing" by right wing Hindutva groups have gone to an extreme point of ridiculousness - like calls to ban Valentine's Day or force girls to tie raksha bandhans to unmarried male companions.

There have been frequent campaigns against moral policing almost bordering on funny. A few years back when some of these groups wanted to ban Valentine's Day, people sent them their pink underwear or a Valentine's Day card as retaliation.

This campaign though has taken it to a point of being sensationalist and provocative.

It encourages people to kiss in public - gay or straight. While many point out how it erodes "Indian culture" , there are many more such arguments about "rape culture" and what not.

(Basically it's a bunch of nonsense and too much hot water to navigate through. There are other more pressing issues in my opinion.)

Coming to the point of this thread, I did notice that western cultures were much more free with regards to PDAs.

While in the USA, it seemed quite the norm to kiss one another in public. Many of you warned me that I would face a culture shock, and I pooh-poohed the idea- well I did

However it didn't really bother me. I learnt to NOT LOOK (stare with shock) . I also pegged it as being part of the environment that I was in, so I brushed it off.

However the idea of this happening in India irritates me. I don't want India to turn into a free for all - gay or straight kiss fest!!!

As a Christian, I just feel that all these things should be private between a husband and wife and not for public consumption at all.


So what do you guys think?


Options that I am posting -


1. Yea ( People should be free to show their affection if must in public)

2. Slightly uncomfortable with PDA but I survive.

3. Very uncomfortable, I tell people off if they cross a line.

4. Nay (all forms of PDA should be banned)

5. Other opinion.

 

[Ugly]

To me i think it depends on the level of affection. A small kiss, holding hands, small things like that i have no problem with. But if people are sitting around chewing on each others tongue, then yeah, i don't want to see that. I even hate it when people post pics (or worse yet, use an avatar) of them kissing (any kind of kiss) their mate.
So, to me, it's about moderation. Some things should be more private, but i wouldn't expect all levels of affection to be pushed away either.

 

[JustAnotherUser]

I'm not one to flaunt affection towards others in public, especially if crowded around with a bunch of strangers like say on a train or at the mall (then again, I can't take the fact that I am around people to begin with, not that it matters though). I think it should be kept at a decent level, like hand holding or a simple kiss is fine. Make-out sessions in places as such is completely unnecessary, yet some think that they can simply do whatever they like while taking selfies and not care about the decency on other's behalf of trying to get through their day. Be a bit considerate.

So I'm going to agree that it should be moderate.

 

[TearsofthePhoenix]

I think that there is a moderate level of PDA. Hugging, kissing, hand holding, etc. However anything beyond that needs to be behind closed doors. I also believe strongly in the power of touch and the brain chemistry that comes with it.

 

[MissCris]

I don't care what people do behind closed doors, but the things that are generally done behind closed doors ought to stay behind closed doors.

 

[CatHerder]

I am somewhat uncomfortable with it.

In a crowded room - no.

At the train station - yes, a prolonged hug goodbye and/or kiss, but not a makeout session.

A romantic walk through town at night, or on the wharf -sure.

So I'm not totally saying that displays of affection should only be in the privacy of one's home. But I am not for public tonsil-hockey either. If the two are alone and it is reasoably unlikely that they are being observed, the idea of a display of affection doesn't bother me.

ummmm....I'm talking about kissing here.

 

[seoulsearch]

A romantic walk through town at night, or on the wharf -sure.

My temporary dyslexia works double time when I'm particularly tired. I read the ^^^ previous statement as, "OR WITH A DWARF--SURE."

To which, I replied to myself, "Well thank goodness someone on the forum is pro-'little people love'..."

Who needs sleep?

Surely not me.

 

[Loveneverfails]

I agree that it depends on the context as well as the level of the PDA. With a few exceptions, I am generally uncomfortable with people kissing in public. Handholding and hugs don't bother me.

Im a super cuddly person, but when around others I rarely even go so far as to hug (unless it's a greeting/goodbye hug) or even holding hands (unless we're walking around). Maybe I'm just sensitive to other people's different comfort levels with PDA. A lot of my close friends are chinese and they get pretty queasy at seeing us hold hands so I choose to be extra careful around them.

 

[kenthomas27]

To me i think it depends on the level of affection. A small kiss, holding hands, small things like that i have no problem with.

How about the thing that has scarred me since the turn of the century.....

[video=youtube;p0wDNESHl8M]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0wDNESHl8M[/video]


When he was blowing kisses out to the audience I could see little Tipper cooties flying off his hand. He pointed at somebody and shot a big wad of Tipper cootie and then he buttoned his coat and that was the worst part. And he kept blowing kisses like saying "i've got plenty more spit where that came from" and then the flags GORE, GORE, GORE. It was horrible.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

As long as it's a kiss and not kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssss I'm Ok with it being public

 

[ChandlerFan]

Oops, I meant to vote slightly uncomfortable instead of very uncomfortable. Apparently polls aren't my thing.

 

[zaoman32]

I think people should be able to suck each others tongues and share saliva DNA anytime they are anywhere where the mood hits them. If they're at startbucks and they have an urge, hop on that table! Though it would be polite to ask people not to watch first.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Hugging, hand-holding, arm around shoulders - these things I think are fine in public. Anything even hinting sexuality, noooo.

 

[SparkleEyes]

I saw one of my pastors and his wife kiss on the lips at church! It made me smile!! I am glad their marriage is so good after all of his stressful years as a pastor.

 

[blueorchidjd]

I think if you're old and wrinkly it's almost admirable, and it brings hope to the younger generations.
Because most people make marriage seem like everything just absolutely dies after you reach the five year mark, and it quite honestly that kind of bugs me...Why would I want to get married if I can't love on my spouse the way I want to? Why do you have to tell me that I am going to be living in hell after the honeymoon stages of life?

Shouldn't marriage be in upward mobility because of the spouses relationship with Christ continually progressing?
Yeah I understand the stunts, the punch, and the kung-fu moments, even single people have to deal with that...but why do people put off this negative connotation that things are just going to be 'bleh.'?

I understand marriage isn't 'euphoria' and constantly 'romantic...' but if a relationship is built on the solid foundation 'Christ', wouldn't there be more to look forward to because of the joy he gives us in the difficult times?
I don't know, I'm young a naïve.
My .02
-w.o.r.d.

 

[seoulsearch]

When my parents go out to restaurants, my Dad will pat my Mom on the knee, smile at her flirtatiously and say, "What'll you have, My Love?"

They've been together since ages 13 and 15, have never been with anyone else, and have been married for almost 50 years.

I find it to be absolutely adorable.

I sure wish someone would still flirt with me after 50 years.

 

[maxwel]

I think it's fine for different cultures to handle this differently.

At the end of the day, it's not something that really matters.
It doesn't really matter if you kiss in public, or only in private.

It's alright for cultures to be different... as long as they aren't violating scripture or hurting anyone.

 

[wisebeardman]

i don't like it. keep the garbage at home. I don't want to see others kissing,ect,ect.

 

[Lynx]

In some cultures it is considered polite to greet people with a kiss on the cheek (remember in the Bible where Paul mentions greet each other with a holy kiss? Yeah, that's regional, not doctrinal.) In some parts of the USA hugging a friend is more common than in others. A friend of mine came up from Texas and, as is her wont, made friends at my church quite readily. She gave one of her new friends a hug. The native kinda froze, then hugged her back.

So yeah, it depends mostly on your region.

 

[Rachel20]

Hmmm. Wondering if people were also comfortable with homosexuals doing the activities that they mentioned being tolerant to.